Infinytism, or the root name, Infinyte, is a pseudo-religon i follow. It is simaliar to Buddism and some forms of Satanism in a few respects, but not enough like either to fit into their classification. It is both purely philisophical, and in a way spiritual (though i use that term VERY lightly) I used to be athiest, but then i got over myself and stopped being so egotistical. by conventional standards i consider myself agnostic, and hope one day to register Infinytism as an official religon (both for the concept and the fact by doing so i would be exempt from taxes for the rest of my life) this is the jist of it:
It began a few ago, in the beginning of my sophmore year of highschool. bad, baaad year for me. i was hardcore depressed, ditching all my classes, and if not for my utter apathy would have been getting suicidal. around this time i met paul (see pics section) and he was in the same boat. we got together, we talked, and from us spawned the first concepts of Infinytism.
it basicly started as an offshoot of the yin-yang thing. we basicly figured there are two kinds of people out there: people who's lives just kick ass. who never have anything bad happen, and even if it did...they could have their best friend die in their arms and be happy and bubbly 5 minutes later. i know people like this. so we figured that for all these happy people there had to be a balance...there had to be people who's lives just sucked rocks, who could never be happy even if their lives were going well. from what happened to the two of us in our lives, we figured we were two of these people. the term 'infinyte' was just an offshoot of my net name, infinity. but it fit the need so we used that to describe what we thought were 'our people'
this belief brought on a passionate hatred of people in general, mainly because we thought we were getting the shaft so some yuppie fuck could be happy. we sorta started to rail against fate for the hand we had been given, and this led to much deeper, much worse depression, as you can't change such things. we convinced ourselves that we would never be happy and life had no real meaning. and again utter apathy towards anything and everything saved us from just killing ourselves.
but that belief didn't last long. soon it turned to a kind of ego trip...we were the ones who got dumped on. we got fucked over so someone else could be happy. we were stronger to live with it. and we were better because we got a bad card and handled it. this view created a kind of seperation between us and, well...everyone. it became the infinytes against the world. and this seperation, along with our already existing deep running hatred of christians and many other idealogies, eventually evolved into a belief we were not humans, but rather a kind of sub-human spin off. still homo sapien, to be sure, but just not the product of the human race as we saw it (so i guess basicly just detatched from society) at no point did we think we were better then anyone else. we just thought we were superior because of our trials. though we never let it get to a kind of 'i'm better then you which gives me the right to stomp you' becase as said, we never thought we were better. just superior.
for a while we (myself more so then him) became obsessed with finding others like us. as the cosmic fate part of our belief began to slip away due to pure logical sense, infinytism took a bit of a turn. it became more of: shit happens to people. all people. what you do with yourself and how you deal with it can dictate what you become. you were not born an infinyte, you were not born superior. but you could evolve.
this also caused a bit of a superiority complex, because hell if we could do it anyone could, and anyone who didn't was just too weak and pathetic. we found that you can overcome the idiocy of humans if you just apply yourself the right way.
that was pretty much the height of where it got when paul and i were exploring how we saw the world. it more or less just sat there and became our philisophical outlook. then paul and i got in a big fight and have not been friends for a while. and things have changed a bit...
the current state of infinytism is much more low key. in some ways it still clings to its roots, in some ways it has strayed. the most important new part, the thing that links it to satanism (or at least that's the response i get all the damn time from people) is that you are your own god. i'm don't mean any stupid self empowerment 'you can do whatever you believe you can' crap, but in your own little world, you are all that matters. love, charity, caring, compassion, though people don't realize it these are all extremely self-serving emotions born of pure ego and the need for self gratification. simply accepting the way you are, and not trying to define or limit yourself by what people so far in history have said is 'moral' or 'right and wrong'
yes i still think infinytes are a step up from humans. yes i believe shit just happens to people, and those who tend to follow the infinyte way (i have found many people just DO this, it's not a concious thing) have had pretty shitty lives. infinytism isn't a new concept, it's just a manifestation of what is there and what is possible in anyone who shuts the fuck up and just opens their damn eyes.
sorry if that was preachy, but i've never documented any of this before, and it's a pretty major part of my life. thanks for reading...