"The night of flying pink elephants" (Ext. view of Crystal's house) (Int. View - Mrs. and Mr. Roberts and Jason stands in the door.) (Crystal stands in the front of them) (Pan to Mr. Roberts's face - He look disappointed) (Pan to Mrs. Roberts's face - She look pissed of) (Pan to Jason's face - He looks like he doesn't have a clue what the hell is going on.) Mrs. Roberts: (Sarcastically) So Hon, you having a party? Can't we join in? Crystal: Uh, Mom...Dad... So you're home already? I didn't know you would come so early. (In the back of Crystal there are lots of drunken kids - Including Stan and Kyle) Mrs. Roberts: So, Crystal Nicole Roberts...This is a party. Did we allow you to have a party? No. Why do you have a party? Crystal: Uh, I, I, can explain. (Clyde walks up to them) Clyde: (Really drunk) Hey! Where is the bottle of Champagne, Crys? You know the one from 1912. (Mrs. Roberts gasps) (Silence. Mrs.Roberts looks like she is thinking.) Mrs. Roberts: Bad Crystal. This is really bad for you. I considering ground you until you're 18. Jason: You're pretty f*'ked right now, isn't you, Crys? Crystal: I said I could explain. (The view goes wavy into the classroom) (Crystal walks up to the scamps) Crystal: Hi guys. Scamps: Hi Crys (Cartman says "Bitch" instead of Crys) Crystal: Uh, my family is going to my brother's big baseball-game this weekend, and I'm planning to have a party at Friday. You guys wanna come? Cartman: Is there any food? Crystal: Of course, fatso. Cartman: I'm not fat, I'm bigboned! Crystal: How big is your ass-bone then? (Laughter) Cartman: I can't help that my body grows faster than my skeleton! Crystal: But your *body* wouldn't grow so fast if you'd stop eating Cheesy Poofs and get your f**king ass of your f**king couch! Kyle: Yeah! Kenny: (You probably got so much fat that you can't find your dick!) (Laughter) Cartman: It's sad how immature you guys are, it really is. Kyle: In my ass! Kenny: (Do you think Jason has any porno?) Crystal: How the hell-- Hey! It's a party we are talking 'bout, not a "let's sneak around Jason's room" evening! Kenny: (Rats!) (Mr.Garrison comes in) Crystal: So are you guys coming? Mr.Garrison: Ok, take your seats, children. Stan: Yeah, I think so. Kyle: Sure. Kenny: (Yeah) Cartman: Ok, but just becuz I'm so nice... Crystal: In my ass. Mr.Garrison: OK, TAKE YOUR SEATS, CHILDREN! (Crystal walks over to her seat) Mr.Garrison: Ok children, don't forget about the fieldtrip tomorrow. Terrence: That's gay. Fossy: Heh, gay, alright... Bill: Heheheh, that's gay. Mr.Hat: Shut up or else detention. Terrence: That's gay. Mr.Hat: TERRENCE MEPHESTO! GET YOUR ASS TO THE COUNSELORS OFFICE! Terrence: That's gay. (He leaves the room) Mr.Garrison: Ok, let's have some math-problems. What's two times six? (Some children raises their hands, one of them is Cartman) Mr.Garrison: Yes, Wendy? Wendy: 12? Mr.Garrison: That's right. Five times three? (Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Crystal, Bebe, Wendy and Clyde raise their hands) Mr.Garrison: Kyle? Kyle: 15? Mr.Garrison: Correct! What about eight times ten? (Same kids again) Mr.Garrison: Crystal? Crystal: That's 80. Mr.Garrison: That's right. (Later) Mr.Garrison: What's two times three? (Cartman is the only one that raises his hand) (Silence) Mr.Garrison: Isn't that anyone? Cartman: I'm RAISING MY HAND! Mr.Garrison: Oh yeah, but I don't want an answer from a retard like you Cartman: Ay! That's it! Screw ya guys, I'm going home! (He leaves) Crystal: Damn, that kid is f**ked up.
(Crystal's room) (Crystal picks clothe after clothe and throws it at her bed, after holding it in front of her and look into the mirror.) Crystal: Not that.... That skirt? Um, no, that would look.... Bad...(bites her lip) those pants.... Uh... (Bites her lip harder) Ouch! (Blood covers the lip.) Crystal: Damnit!
(Kitchen) Mrs. Roberts: Eat the potato Crystal, or else you can't have any ice cream. (Crystal plays with the food, she turns it round and round at the plate.) Crystal: Mom, when are you leaving at Friday? Mrs. Roberts: At 4 p.m, Hon. Why? Jason, drink the milk for God's sake! Jason: I'm going out. (Leaves the table) Mrs. Roberts: No Jason! (Jason slams the door.) Mr. Roberts: Calm it down, Frida. He will come back, don't worry. Crystal: Thanks for the dinner. Mrs. Roberts: Oh, you're welcome. Take an ice cream in the freezer. Crystal: Mm.
(Wendy's room) (The phone rings) (Wendy answers it) Wendy: Hello? Crystal: Hi, Wendy. Wendy: Hi, Crys. Crystal: I checked, they leave 4 p.m. Wendy: Great. Crystal: And they will sleep at grandma's house too, so we got time to clean it up! Wendy: Good. So, you invite the guys? Crystal: Yeah. Wendy: Shall we invite Clyde? Crystal: Umm.... Yeah. Wendy: Bebe? Crystal: Of course! Wendy: Uh... Crystal: We invite everyone except Pip. Wendy: Yeah. Crystal: See ya tomorrow. Wendy: Yeah. At the fieldtrip. Crystal: (Sarcastically) Yeah, won't it be exciting? Wendy: (Sarcastically) Yeah, it will be so funny! Crystal: I really gotta go now... Later. Wendy: Yeah, later. (They lay down the telephone.) (Everything goes black)
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