Guys just don't know how to be romantic. If you're one of those who says this a lot, here's some good news for you: it's all inthe way you read the signals...

Poetry. Flowers. Syrupy sonnets. Sunset strolls. Sounds pretty good right? Wrong -- this is pure Hollywood and most men would rather undergo protracted root-canal work than join this schmaltz-fest. In the World of Man, these romantic clichés are as over-rated as any performer named Jackson.

Despite the fact that we live in an age so gender-sensitive that kids lie awake at night afraid of the bogey-person, romance and relationships are still as old-fashioned as dance cards, chaperones and smouldering glances across the drawing room. Be honest: when was the last time you approached a guy you really liked and asked him out? Speak up, I can't hear you. What's this I hear, an uncomfortable silence perhaps?

The point I'm trying to make is that nine times out of 10, it's the guy who'll take a deep breath, weigh up the odds and take a gamble in the romance stakes -- because he knows you won't. It's the way things are and probably will be for a while. Now, we don't really mind this setup -- in fact there are some of us who enjoy the thrill of the chase more than its results. What we do mind is being pressured into living up to romantic clichés invented by the movies, acted out by pretty boys who have unlimited takes to achieve that charming spontaneity, which leaves us absolutely no scope to show you how wonderful you are, in our own way.

Frankly, we're also afraid of the ubiquitous spectre of rejection, because no matter how beautiful the roses or how soppy the card, if he ain't the one, he quite simply ain't the one. And speaking from personal experience, you know you're well and truly stuck out when you arrive with flowers and leave with the assurance that "we can still be friends". (see Top 10 Rejection Reasons)

Now before my gloom forces you to turn the page, here's the good news: he will show you that he really does like you. It just won't be in the manner you're expecting. He'll do it in a way that will minimise the risk of rejection so there won't be any grand gestures. Instead subtle clues will signpost his growing affection for you. Respond to these and his confidence will shift up a gear and then before you know it, you'll be on the receiving end of an incredible romance -- his personal brand.

1. What's Mine Is Yours

When he hands over his favourite sweater, it's not only because he thinks you might be a little chilly. He's giving you something uniquely his and is telling the world, "See, she's wearing my jumper -- in public." I'm not sure what it means, but it can't be bad. And though he'll never admit it, the thought of you wearing his stuff is almost symbolic of you accepting him into your life on a deeper level. He thinks: If she thought I was a loser, she wouldn't borrow my clothing right? Well, not unless it was Armani or Miyake... She's clothing herself in me, and in a bizarre sense, through that jumper, I'm giving her warmth and comfort. I'm also getting close to her breasts, but that's not important, I swear! Of course he's not going to say that, you'll just get "Here." But he means it.

2. The Things We Do

When everyone else gets a "see ya" at the end of a night out with friends, he'll become a public transport mastermind before your very eyes. To snatch just a few more minutes with you, he'll go: "You don't have to catch the 106 bus which leaves in a couple of minutes. You'll get home at the same time if you wait half an hour and take the 124, then hop onto the 89 at the interchange, transfer to the 7 after three stops and then the 97 will drop you right outside the door." It may not be Cary Grant but read between the lines. He's researched how to get maximum time with you without making you feel that he's trying to come on too strong. Whether he knows what he's talking about is immaterial -- he's trying to show you that he's willing to study bus timetables if it means an extra half hour of your company.

3. What A Coincidence...

Don't you find it strange that he just happens to turn up at places you've casually mentioned that you might be? And there's always an excuse: "I didn't know you were having your tonsils out. I'm here visiting my Uncle Louis. He's in the psychiatric ward -- he thinks he's Imelda Marcos." See past the bad jokes and read that he simply wants to be with you.

4. No, I'm Fine, Honestly.

It's freezing. He's got so many goosebumps he could pass for Braille. So what does he do? The all-time classic: he takes off his jacket and insists you wear it. Now I don't need to point out that risking hypothermia so that you can be cosy is beyond being simply a cute thing to do. But the best part of it all is that you get to keep it (see point 1).

5. Rules of the Game

That quiet dinner at his place has degenerated into the two of you staring at his computer screen while he surfs the net and you try to appear interested. The only reason you haven't nodded off is his insistence on jabbing you with his elbow and yelling: "Is this amazing or what?" In his mind, this is seriously romantic. You're alone in a darkened room to start with, and he actually believes this is an experience you're sharing -- cyberbonding if you will. Give him credit for trying and just log off.

6. Blade to Worse

He's promised to teach you to Rollerblade and you hit the asphalt on the very day a big new ramp is opened to the public. Yet he coaches you through every wobbly step while his mates get to christen the Wall of Death. Not only does he miss out on the blading equivalent of a Tiffany's shopping spree, but he'll have to endure his mates reminiscing endlessly about "the day the Wall fell" and reminding him that he chose to be with you. And all because he promised.

7. How Touching

Like a lot of guys I know, my friend Tim has an intimacy problem. Public affection simply does not come naturally to him and manifests itself in playful punches, nudges and -- in his younger days -- the odd bra-strap ping. Behind closed doors, his girlfriend tells me it's a different story, but at street level, the hand-holding thing just won't happen. He needs a reason to touch her and this is why he loves windy days. For when the breeze blows, he can lean across to Kelly and brush the hair from her face. Now I'm not trying to make excuses for his juvenile paranoia of public embrace but make no mistake: this is 100 proof affection -- Tim-style.

8. Deny Everything

Men express their feelings like the Titanic stayed afloat. Okay to begin with, then... disaster. One on one in private, he may be honest and open about how much you mean to him, but don't expect him to be Shakespeare in a crowd. In fact just the opposite will probably happen. He'll deny everything. And the more strongly he denies it, the more he likes you. It's probably no more than a panic response trying to deflect the group's scrutiny from your relationship. He's so unaware of what he's doing, he thinks denial is in Egypt.

If he really isn't keen, he probably won't be able to talk about you without at least a few "buts" as in "She's a great girl but..." or "I really like you but I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship." If he's even the slightest bit enamoured, it'll be more of a straight out "something between me and Sue? No. NO." I know it sounds strange, but believe me, it's better than a big "but".

9. Take That

Special occasions equal presents and male panic attacks. You don't want to go overboard with a gift that's too lavish in a new relationship but you don't want to give her something that gets a "That's really... nice." either. Nor do you want to give anything too suggestive, but then again who wants a bland, safe gift? How is she to know that you're different then?

Then there's the gift-giving itself. Well that's just plain uncomfortable. She tries to guess what it is by the shape, then she studies the card and she always takes hours to peel off the wrapping. All we really want to know is if you like it, and quite frankly, all this suspense is not healthy. My friend Alex solved this dilemma by slipping gifts into his girlfriend's bag when they were shopping. She appreciated it immensely, although there have been a few security guards who had to be convinced that she had no idea how these things got into her bag. As soon as Alex took the guards aside and explained his actions, all was forgiven.

10. Happening Things

There's nothing more intimidating than dropping by a girl's place for an evening out and finding it has turned into a candle-lit love shack with champagne a-chilling and Mariah in the background. You're meant to behave differently and it ain't fun. It's the old romantic cliché thing again and he'll clam up big time. Let him share one of his passions -- be it jazz clubs or Thai restaurants -- with you on a one-on-one basis and he'll be relaxed enough to share his flirtatious, romantic side. Why? Because he's on his own turf and is thrilled that you want to be there with him.

Of course, that's just Romance 101, You can train him to be as wonderful wherever the two of you are -- these are just good places to start. Ultimately, if you're open to the idea of a relationship beyond the Hallmark version, some extreme, spontaneous and unique loving will surely come your way. And it'll be your man who's delivering.