Your Family Might Be Too Hoo-Ah If...

1. Your newborn's first words were `All OK, Jumpmaster'.
2. All your kids have names that start with AR, FM, TM, or DA Form.
3. Your kids call the Tooth Fairy `Slicky Boy'.
4. You `bum dips' from your four year old daughter.
5. Your kids use the `F' word at least five times in every sentence.
6. Your kids call their mother `Household 6' and their grandmother `Grandma 6'.
7. Your daughters first haircut was a flattop.
8. Your kids salute their grandparents.
9. Your kids recite the alphabet phonetically.
10. Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on seperate rations.
11. Your kids volunteer to pull air guard on the school bus.
12. Your kindergartener calls recess `Smoke Break'.
13. Your kids pull fireguard.
14. Your kids call their sandbox `NTC'.
15. Your son failed the third grade, but tells everyone that he was a `phase three recycle'.
16. Your kids get an LES for their allowance.
17. Your kids do all their back to school shopping at the US Cavalry store.
18. Your kids are hand-receipt holders.
19. Your older kids call the youngest one `cherry'.
20. Your son calls the lawnmower an `M1 Suburban Vegetation Assault Vehicle'.
21. You make your daughter sign out on pass on prom night.
22. Your kids clear housing before they go to college.
23. Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.
24. Your wife's `high and tight' is more squared away than your commander's.
25. Your wife keeps Mermites in the china cabinet.
26. Your wife left you and held a `Change of Command' ceremony.
27. Your grandmother won `All American Week and Best Ranger'.
28. You refer to your in-laws as `the Slice Elements'
29. Your dog's name is `Ranger'.
30. Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights.
31. Your pick-up has your name stenciled on the windshield.
32. You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard as part of a tune-up.
33. All your possessions are military issue.
34. You have pull-up bars outside the kitchen door.
35. You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed tactically.
36. You give the command `fix bayonets' at Thanksgiving dinner.
37. Your house has sector sketches posted by every window.
38. Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.

You can't measure up? Then you better head back to the main page, slicky boy.

Updated 28 Dec 00.