It's Easy To Be Humble When...

1. You've forgotten your general orders.
2. You bolo on the rifle range.
3. During a PT test, you're lapped by a 47 year old female officer.
4. You discover during your briefing to the division commander that your own name is misspelled on your briefing slides.
5. Your soldiers see you walking on water...when the latrine floods.
6. Your duty section schedules a get-together...while you're on leave.
7. You gain twenty pounds while on leave.
8. It's been so long, you can't remember your date of rank.
9. Your daughter's Girl Scout uniform has more awards and decorations than your uniform does.
10. You correct a private's uniform violation...and he points out that you're not wearing a belt.
11. You let your ID card expire.
12. You get orders to take a remedial KP course.
13. Your boss is raving about your 180 GT score...until you point out that it's your PT score.
14. Your platoon's average SDT score was 95...and you got a 59.
15. You return from a long TDY and your family asks, "Are you back...so soon?"
16. You're summoned to the CSM's office to discuss a QMP action, and you ask, "How do you spell that?"
17. In a letter to the promotion board, you boast that you've `maxed out' your PULHES at 36!
18. You're a squad leader enrolled in BSEP...and every member of your squad has a college degree.
19. You're a platoon sergeant...and your subordinate squad leader of 10 years ago is now your first sergeant.
20. You graduate from the First Sergeant Course...and you're diverted to a desk job at battalion.
21. As a first sergeant, you have to ask the company commander to correct mistakes in your letter to the promotion board.
22. As the post CSM, you send out a flyer...which is anonymously returned, with errors circled in red.
23. You're the only person at your high school reunion without a college degree.
24. You think an ellipsis has to do with the moon aligning with the Earth and sun.
25. While attending night school, you realize that your children are older than your classmates...and your professor.
26. You've finally learned to type...and your children are taking courses in advanced computer programming.
27. Computer language almost made sense when you first heard terms like `buffer', `bulletin board' and `sign-in.'
28. You're not selected for the advanced course...but your subordinate is.
29. Your spouse asks why every other SFC in your unit made the promotion list and you didn't.
30. The CSM who is presiding on your promotion board is the same guy you rear-ended in the parking lot this morning.
31. While looking at proofs of your official photo, you realize your nylons have runs. (You had better be a female NCO.)
32. The person you just flirted with is your commander's spouse.
33. You learn that the soldier you just failed on the PT test is your brigade CSM.
34. The kid you got busted 10 years ago and drummed out of the Army is your new company commander.
35. The `skycap' you instructed to pick up your bags informs you that he's in the Coast Guard...and he's an admiral.
36. Your boss praises you in public...and calls you by the wrong name.
37. Your boss puts you in for an award...which is downgraded to a reprimand.
38. Your paperboy refuses to take your personal check.
39. The clerk in the retirement section announces that you hold the post record for `bad time'...and that you owe the Army another year before you can retire.
40. You invest your entire voluntary separation pay in the Florida lottery...and lose.
41. You learn that you were the runner-up for a nominative position...and the job went to someone named Jethro Bodine.

Move like you have a purpose, back to the main page.

Updated 28 Dec 00. Be humble, you overlooked the suspense date on this article.