Here's an interesting article published in AUG 83 by Dennis Steel, which was reprinted from the Pentagon news.
It attempts to answer the age-old question, `just what is a real sergeant?' Perhaps the title of the article gives us a clue, as I present

While Bruce Feirstein contends that "real men don't eat quiche" in his book by that title, he hasn't considered that a real sergeant doesn't know what quiche is. And if a real sergeant chomped down on a slice by accident, he would spit it out and say, "What is this .?!"

Quiche would also be unknown to a real sergeant because a real sergeant doesn't know any useless foreign words. Useless is defined as any foreign word or series of foreign words not good for negotiating for food, drink, a date, or directions.

Real sergeants don't have any civilian relatives.

Real sergeants carry NCO club cards from their last four assignments.

The greatest feat for a real sergeant is property book accountability.

Real sergeants have the office coffee pot situated next to their desk with a tube running from it into their arm.

Real sergeants have forgotten how to write in script, except for their payroll signature.

Real sergeants live on post.

Real sergeants have their career counselor's phone number tattooed on their arms, even though they only use it once every 6 years.

Real sergeants cry only when overcome by emotions brought to the surface by stirring military ceremonies, such as police call.

The first thing a real sergeant reads in the Army Times is promotion cutoff scores.

Real sergeants can light a fire in the wind, pitch a tent on the side of a hill and find a slit trench in the dark.

Real sergeants can tell an overseas location by its APO number.

Real sergeants will mark all their uniform items, although it's no longer required.

Real sergeants can speak in DFese: "In order to create and/or formulate a copacetic and/or harmonious situation in DCSLOGJAGOPS at this point in time and/or now..."

This is how a real sergeant proposes: "There will be a wedding at 0800 hours 17 JAN 83. Be there with your gear packed because you will be a primary participant."

A real sergeant's favorite food is the fruit cocktail in C-rations, the best part of which is the green metal shavings from the can that float on top of the juice.

Real sergeants dream in subdued colors, black and green.

Real sergeants call each other "Sarge."

Non-sergeants do not call real sergeants "Sarge."

Real sergeants wish KP was still an army tradition, knowing they won't have to pull it.

Real sergeants use the term "good training" to descibe any miserable task. Having duty on your birthday is "good training." Driving 75 kilometers through a German snowstorm in a leaky deuce-and-a-half is "good training." Spending all night in a Korean bar and barfing during PT the next day is "good training." Reading this article is "good training."

That's it from that article, although as I think of more or as people e-mail them to me, I'll add additions down here.

A real sergeant remembers what a C-ration is.

A real sergeant prefers the old banana PT uniform.

A real sergeant wants to go back to the 10 or so events the PT test used to comprise.

A real sergeant played poker in basic training.

A real sergeant knows people only come in one color in the army: OD green.

A real sergeant knows at least 25 creative ways to say `Do push-ups' to a private.

A real sergeant has used a water purification tablet.

A real sergeant can recite any CTT task correctly in their sleep, and perform it with their eyes closed while awake.

A real sergeant can clean an M16 to standard the first time around without it being kicked back by the armorer.

A real sergeant is someone you probably don't want your sister to date.

Okay, I'm tapped out for now, so why don't all you non-real sergeants head back to the main page.

Updated 28 Dec 00. Real sergeants like to know this stuff.