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This is an accident report,  which was printed in the newsletter of
the British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is
the bricklayer's report, a true story.

  Dear Sir:

  I am writing in response to your request for additional information
  in Block #3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as the
  cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust
  the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade.
  On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new
  six-story building.

  When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over
  which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
  500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to
  lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
  side of the building at the sixth floor.

  Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
  barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
  the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
  You will note in block #11 of the accident report form that my
  Weight is 135 lb.

  Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
  my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to
  say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the
  vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
  proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.

  This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
  collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.
  Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
  the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
  Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and
  was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating
  pain I was now beginning to experience.

  At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
  the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the
  weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lb.. I
  refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a
  Rapid descent, down the side of the building.

  In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
  accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe
  lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to
  change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me
  enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
  fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
  however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to
  move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go
  of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
  journey back onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

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