View Guestbook
The REAL Console Wars, Part 7
By Chaos
Elswhere...
Jack Azz: Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's there, it's there!
Soldier: What, sir?
Jack Azz: Sony.
They look out the window, and Sony, gleaming in its solid gold shell, is there, with their large army preparing for a defensive move.
Soldier: Sir, I uh, well... their army is bigger.
Jack Azz: Yes, but THEY don't have 32 bit. trechnology. Prepare a pedestal for my opening statement.
Outside, many banners were floating, Namco, Capcom, Eidos, and many other Allies, while Nintendo only had Rare.
Meanwhile...
Edgar: I think we lost them!
Magus: Yeah, I can see Sony!
Unknown: Not so fast, Nintendo spies!
DLE: You got that right!
Edgar: Shuut up!
Unknown2: What do you want here?
Magus: I know you guys. Shadow! Melonhead!
Shadow: Yes. Come with us, or you're mincemeat!
Edgar: No, I'm on your side!
Melonhead: Yeah. Edgar is. But Magus is from Skyhorn, Land of Neutrality, and DLE is Nintendo scum.
DLE: You got that right! Minus the scum part! And I ain't going with Playstation scum!
Edgar: I'm from Playstation.
DLE: ERGH! Alright then! But I'm not going as a captive! Even I'm trying to stop Nintendo. With N64Man gone, I'm next in line for the throne! Heheh.
Magus: We have to get to Sony.
Shadow: We're here to infiltrate Nintendo, but some big guys threw us clear across these plains.
Melonhead: Yep. We couldn't get in. We're trying to get back to our army at Sony, but Sony put up a barrier to stop Nintendo, so we're stranded out here!
Shadow: Darn our luck!
Edgar: Then it's obvious what we have to do now.
Magus: We have to get back to Sony, and through that barrier.
Edgar: I have a keycard that will get me by.
DLE: Oh, man! Now I have to go to a-
Shadow: Don't even think about it.
DLE: *gulp!*
And at Gold Saucer:
Gold Saucer Security Officer (GSSO1): Hold, police! No speeding!
Tortolia: Ack!
Evil Knight: Run!
Bio: We're almost there.
Kaitlin: I'll hold them off *begins chanting*. Wall Supreme!
A wall forms, and the security officers run into it.
Jaana: Ha, ha, that'll teach those losers!
Tritoch: But just in case... *many beams come out of Tritoch*
Pat: I believe that shall be sufficient.
Alan: The door!
They all run into the through the docking bay door.
Schala: Aaaaiiiieeeee!
Unknown: We gotcha now! You ain't headin' nowhere!
Alan: Who the hell are you guys! *draws sword*
Kaitlin: Uh-oh. This is not good. *gets out staff*
Tortolia: Who are they? *draws sword*
Unknown2: Why should we tell you?
Tritoch: Great. *eyes start to flare*
Pat: They are from Skyhorn. *draws, uh, what weapon do you use Pat?*
Jaana: Of course, we had to run into them! *brings out magic book?*
Kaitlin: The Skyhorn Royal Guard.
Unknown: Take her! *tosses Schala to another Unknown* Allow me to introduce us, mate. I'm Powerhouse.
Snake: I'm snake, and I'm gonna squeeze the life outta you.
Blizzard: I'm Ifrit's frosty arch-enemy, Blizzard, and I'm gonna chill you guys out!
Inferno: I'm Shiva's hot arch-enemy, and roast you with ma flames, man!
Angel: I'm Angel, daughter of Kefka, and I'll make your lives a Nightmare!
Brainy: I'm the brains of this operation, and my weapons are unmatched!
Rampage: AAAAAA! I'm Rampage, the beserker, aaaaaaaa!!!!!!
Bones: Yo! I'm a skeleton! Live with it!
???? (that's the actual name): I'm ????. I'll drive you nuts, before you even get a hit in! *He is also the one holding Schala*
Schala: Let me go bastard! *bites ???? in the hand, then jumps down, and runs to the rest of the team*. Thanks, guys.
Bio: Why are you here?
Powerhouse: Because Chaos has ordered that you be annihilated, so la, la, you lose!
Kaitlin: Why? We were just heading to see him.
Snake: Look. We don't k-k-k-k-know why, ssssssso just live with the fact that you're about to die. Oopssssss. A pun.
Elsewhere:
Jack Azz: *Taps microphone* Greetings, Sony bastards. Please bring down your force field so you can be destroyed with ease, instead of making it hard on your sleves!
Sony Rep: Never! We'll die before giving in to you!
Jack Azz: Very well *pulls out 132-bit Crystal* I have been charging this all night, and have also cloned it, so here's my other one * pulles out another one*.
Sony Rep: No!!
Jack Azz: Yep. *a crystal begins to emit light, and suddenly, everything is surrounded in white light. When the light fades, a boom is heard, and Sony's field is gone*. And that came from one hour of charging. Imagine, that happening every hour.
Sony Rep: Damn.
Jack Azz: HAHAHAHAHAHA! *Fires another crystal, wiping out Namco* You lose. I win. That's that.
Sony Rep: Deploy the forces!
Jack Azz: What?
All around Nintendo, holes open, rockets are launched, and planes tanks and footmen are deployed. The war has begun.
Jack Azz: Forces up, battle positions, deploy forces, now!
The Plains come alive, as explosions rock the land...
Close by:
DLE: Holy, shit!
Magus: We're, we're too late.
Edgar: No! Even if both sides surrvive, the casualties will be too much!
Shadow: There is still time. But we need help.
Melonhead: We have to get back.
Kharis: May we be of assistance?
N64Man: We're actually trying to get to Sony as well.
DLE: Finally, someone who has the same opinions as me.
Magus: Let's go then, we haven't much time!
So, with Evil Knight, Bio, Tortolia, Kaitlin, Tritoch, Alan, Pat, Jaana, and Schala fighting the Skyhorn guard, N64Man, Kharis, DLE, Edgar, Magus, Shadow, and Melonhead heading for Sony, and Jack Azz waring with Sony, things look bleak. MORE TO COME!!!!
Console Wars, Part 8
Send the author, Chaos, your comments!
Go to my FFML fanfic page, my main fanfic page, my fanfic links page, my Final Fantasy page, or my main page (dang, that's a lotta pages! ^_^)
Send little ole me your comments! I'm big on typos, too, so if you spot one, let me know! ^_^