(The scene opens with three teenaged girls standing outside a Roy Rogers. Buckets, Sponges, a hose and towels are at their feet.)

Theresa: Brandee, where is everyone?

Brandee: What do you mean, everyone?

Theresa: Well, you, plus me, plus Erica doesn't exactly add up to twelve.

Brandee: Theresa, why do you always have to act so smart?

Theresa: Grrrrrrrr . . . Twelve people signed up. You PROMISED that they would show up! WHERE ARE THEY!?!?

Erica: Hey, hey. Clam down you two. I'm sure more people will show. At least we have all our signs and equiptment this time.

Theresa: Well, there is that. (Lightening strikes her. She stands there, looking a bit frizzy) Ooorooo? (Then, snaps back to her serious self, kind of like Kenshin does, except Theresa is almost never really serious) I've got it! We'll summon the Kenshin Gumi (cool trumpet fanfare is heard in the distance).

Erica: The what?

Theresa: (sighing over the fact that anyone could not know what she was talking about. It's a sad sad world, my friends) You know that anime series that I'm always babbling on about, and no-one really cares?

Erica: Yeah . . .?

Theresa: I'm going to summon the characters from that. (Before Erica can protest, Theresa mumbles a few arcane sounding syllables under her breath, and the finishes with a bang, literally. Our heroes, Himura Kenshin - or Kenshin Himura, since we ARE in the States- Sanosuke Sagura, Kaoru Kamiya, and Yahiko whose-last-name-the-writer-doesn't-remember appear in the parking lot)

Kenshin: Oro?

Theresa: (leaps on Kenshin and gives him a hug) Kenshin! I'm so glad you could come!

Kaoru: TTTTHHHEEERREESSAAAAA!!!!!

Theresa: (jumps back from Kenshin) Gomen nasai.

Sano: What do you want, Theresa? I was winning!

Megumi: (suddenly appearing) That'll be the day . . .

Sano: (Giant Chicken appears in background) Grrrrrrr

Megumi: Oh ho ho ho ho (grinning fox appears)

Sano: (louder this time) Grrrrrr . . .

Kenshin: Maa, maa, everyone. What do you need our help with, Theresa?

Theresa:(wailing) No-one has come to help out with the car wash!

Yahiko: What's a car? (They ARE from 19th century Japan)

Theresa: Never mind that! All you need to worry about is that it needs to be washed!

Erica: Um, Theresa, my friend, there are five (Saitou appears), no six cartoon characters standing in the middle of the Roy Rogers parking lot.

Brandee: I'm scared.

Saitou: Aku -

Theresa: Saitou, dearest. There will be NO KILLING at the South Carroll Cavalier Marching Band Car Wash. None. Not one bit! Don't you even think about uttering another word of that annoyingly repetitive and predictable slogan of yours. I WON'T HAVE IT!

Saitou: (Lights a cigarette and speaks in that totally cool the-devil-may-care voice) Whatever.

Theresa: Now, people, get to work! Let's see, what's the best way to get things done . . .

Yahiko: Don't put Kaoru up there on the corner, she'll scare everyone away.

Kaoru: Grrrr . . . (hits Yahiko on head with bokken)

Kenshin: Maa, maa. Why don't we just listen to Theresa-dono for a minute!

Theresa: (flashes smile at Kenshin) Arigato! Sounds like a brilliant idea. Now, let's put Yahiko-chan --

Yahiko- Don't call me CHAN!!

Theresa: Gomen. Let's see, Yahiko on the corner with this sign. You have to yell "FREE CAR WASH" really loudly, okay? (Yahiko grabs sign and wanders off in the generally direction of the corner) Let's see, Saitou, you can collect the donations. Maybe you'll scare them into being generous. (Saitou's eyes narrow dangerously, but Theresa ignores it.) Um, Kaoru, why don't you take this sign and go over there (points to the Safeway parking lot), and stir up some business.

Kaoru: Hai!

Erica: Theresa! I don't think you realize that these people are CARTOONS!!!

Theresa: Who cares? They're helping with our car wash!

Brandee: (crawls out from the van she was hiding under) They seem harmless enough, except for the scary one who's smoking.

Theresa: (in a private aside that only Brandee and Saitou, because he's standing right there, can hear) Besides, Kenshin's a babe, and - well, I don't know how to describe Sano.

Saitou:(after taking a drag on his cigarette) Sanosuke is a mutt.

Sano: WHAT??!?

Erica: Hey! Calm down everyone. Our first car just pulled in. (Pulls on hose to rinse car) Ahhh! The hose isn't long enough.

Kenshin: Hmmm . . . Dou-Ryu-Sen!!

Theresa: ACK!

(Water shoots up from the crack Kenshin's technique left in the ground.)

Erica: Coolness. I smell coffee brewing

Brandee: So do I. Smells delicious. What about the chicken guy?

Sano: Chicken? Listen, you air-head.

Driver in car: Are you guys going to talk, or wash my car?

Erica: Sorry, sir.

(Everyone grabs a sponge, and starts scrubbing. Kenshin uses his Sakaba to redirect the water from the new fountain so it washes off the car. What he actually does, is hold his sword up so that the water bounces off, and hits the car. He gets very wet, which is a sight to see.)

Driver: So, who do I give the money?

Saitou: (looking scarier than ever) Me

Driver: (suddenly very nervous) So, how much do I owe you?

Saitou: (smiling, he leans back against the car, and puffs his cigarette) It's by donation. (He smiles at the driver)

Driver: Here! (He speeds away, Saitou stumbles as the car drives right out from under him)

Theresa: Twenty!?!? I LOVE you, Saitou.

(Saitou looks slightly uncomfortable)

Kenshin: (spraying the next car) Remember, Theresa-dono, he's married.

Theresa: Oh yeah . .

Brandee: (stares at Sano with a look of adoration on her face - he's the only guy she knows who's taller than she is -Saitou notwithstanding- as he towels the top of a van dry) Isn't he dreamy? (Whispered to Erica)

Erica: I guess . . . But Kenshin . . . mmm . . . What can I say . . .?

(in the distance, Kaoru can be heard badgering people into getting their cars washed.)

Sano: Wow. She's really good at this, isn't she?

(Several hours later)

Theresa: So, Saitou, how much money have you scared out of our customers today?

Saitou: (counts the money) Five hundred twelve dollars.

Theresa: F-f-f-ive h-h-hundred?

Kenshin: Oooorooo! (Falls over)

Erica: Yes!!! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I take back every disparaging word I ever said about you guys!

Brandee: What do you way we call it a day? (As Kaoru and Yahiko walk back over)

Megumi: (cuddles up to Kenshin) Yes, I'm sure Ken-san could use the break.

Kaoru: Megumi!!!!

Megumi: oh ho ho ho ho

Theresa: Seriously, it's time we called it quits. Back to the Dojo you guys!

Sano: What? Erica has been telling me about this marvelous game called "Gin Rummy" that I want to try.

Yahiko: What's that?

Kaoru: It probably involves gambling.

Sano: You play it with cards that have hearts and diamonds, and clubs, and spades marked on them. Very cool.

Kenshin: Well, I did promise Dr. Genzai that I'd pick up some tofu for him today . . .

Megumi: And I'm sure he needs me back in Tokyo.

Theresa: Well, then ARIGATO!!!! Thank you!

Erica: Yes! Thank you! Saitou, if you want to come back and help me hunt down those ignoarant wretches who deigned not to show up today, feel free at any time.

Saitou: (does that cool thing where he raises one half of his mouth that means he's smiling) Maybe.

Theresa: (mutters more arcane sounding syllables under her breath, and the Kenshin Gumi and company disappear) So, whaddaya think?

Erica: Sano with his shirt off, and KENSHIN. What a BABE!

Brandee: I dunno, Yahiko was kind of cute.

Theresa: (staring at her) Yahiko is ten.

Brandee: Oh. Well, still . . .

Erica: Oro?

Theresa: SHE DID IT!!! Yes! Another convert!

Erica: No, I just realized that this massive crack in the parking lot didn't disappear when those people did. The manager's gonna KILL us!

Theresa: Well, quickly then, we must flee!

(The trio proceeds to do just that, Monty Python style, but making sure to pick up the sponges , soap, buckets, and hose on the way. They make it to Theresa's house, where she introduces Brandee and Erica to the Rurouni Kenshin anime, and they get through nine episodes before everyone falls asleep.)