15 Things You'd Never Know If It
Weren't For the Movies
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price
range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You
will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications
system of any invading alien society, and run an applications system that
everyone is very familiar with.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, by
dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. Radiation causes interesting mutations--not to your future children, but
to you - right then and there - or, over a period of time until you finally
go crazy and kill people.
8. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on
nuclear fission, or anything else, at the age of 22.
9. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three
days before their retirement.
10. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch
enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly
gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, all of which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
11. During all police investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club
at least once.
12. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
13. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread and
one bunch of carrots complete with leafy tops.
14. It's easy to land a plane providing there is someone in the control
tower to talk you down.
15. Once applied, makeup never rubs off - even while scuba diving or after
If you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
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15 More Things You'd Never Know If It Weren't For the Movies
1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No
one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any
other part of the building you want without difficulty.
2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not
necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises
in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be
carrying with them at the time the car broke down.
6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it
before long.
7. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't.
8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter
Password Now.
9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending
And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.
10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
13. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will
automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the
music in your head.
14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
other.
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