Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from J. K Rowling's Harry Potter series. I'm just using them for a fun (sorta) story that popped into my head. Besides, I ain't making any money off of it, so who cares?

The song used in my fic is Puddle of Mudd's 'Blurry' (it's in Italics.) It's a great song to listen to when reading this, or just whenever! Goood song!

This is my first slash fic (for those of you who don't know what that is, make sure you're okay with same sex relationships before you continue reading this ficcy) so please r/r so I know what y'all think!

This fanfic was also up before, so its not anything too new, though it has been worked over. Expect a sequel concerning Harry's reaction soon.

Without further ado. . .

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Blurry

By Ritsuko

The warmth was almost unbearable, so sweet and intoxicating, that Draco Malfoy could barely stand it. He sighed in contentment as his companion slowly kissed a trail from his neck to his chest, while a hand caressed his hip. Shuddering as he felt a tongue flit across his lower abdomen, he tentatively looked down to get a closer look at who was being so painstakingly and teasingly gentle.

He had to admit it was quite odd not remembering how he got this way, for all he knew, it could either be a spell or some leftover alchoholic Butterbeer from the Slytherin secret stash. He wouldn't put that past Pansy Parkinson, who had wanted to jump him since the sorting hat had been placed on her head, and trumpeted that her house would also be 'SLYTHERIN!'

But the hair on this person was jet black, and short cut- it was another boy. Draco's heat skipped a beat as he stared down, wondering who in the name of Salazar Slytherin he would let so close, even though this person's touch was rather intriguing. It wasn't Crabbe or Goyle, he could tell that instantly, and quite frankly, he wouldn't have let them as close anyway, and the lithe, athletic figure didn't bring to mind anyone that he knew, except--

Draco let out a gasp, as warmth engulfed his member, and realized two things at once- that he was unclothed, and his companion had made it farther than his abdomen. Breathing raggedly, he couldn't help but arch his back under the skilled ministrations of his partner, working at him from every side, seemingly forever, but still not long enough, until finally, a release. He smiled despite himself, and looked up, expecting to see the other's face, but the boy had collapsed against his stomach, gentle bursts of air carassing his navel.

Still smiling, Draco reached down to where the other boys chin was, and lifted it, eager to see the face of the one who had given him so much care. . .

. . . and screamed. Twin emerald eyes stared up at him behind glasses that looked as if they had been broken many times before. Black tendrils framed his innocent, smiling face. The boy laughed, and pushed himself halfway up, as Draco tried to get away from him. Leaning on one side, the boy's laughter dissipitated as he nervously pushed back his hair form his eyes with a hand, revealing a lightning bolt shaped scar.

"Nononononono. . ." Draco whispered under his breath,to shocked to be angry, as if his mantra could make it dissapear. "Why won't you leave me alone?!"

The other boy looked at him as if hurt, and then shrugged it off. "You know the answer to that one, Malfoy." He started to crawl towards Draco, who had also started to shake his head. When the boy was just inches away, lips almost touching lips, he continued, just whispering, "I'll finally leave, when you actually WANT me to leave you alone."

Draco's eyes widened at the statement, about to protest, when the boy made the distance between those last few inches with surprising speed, and embraced him in a fiery kiss. At first he squirmed and tried to get away, but the boy had locked to him as tightly as steel, and Draco started to feel as if the world was spinning, and the fact that this boy, out of everyone in all of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was so right for him, so wonderful, so beautiful. . .

. . . even though he hated him with a passion.

The boy rubbed against him, and as twin erections touched each other, Malfoy gasped as though he was in pain. Why? Why the hell did it have to be this way? Why was it Him??

Suddenly the other boy bit down on his tongue, drawing blood. Draco yelped and stared up in horror, as the other boy pulled away, a hate replacing his smiling innosence. "Look at what you are! Is this all that you've become? Do you know why you were chosen to be in Slytherin? Because NOTHING good comes from that house!" The boy slapped Draco across the face, who recoiled as he stared up at him. The boy's hatred took a new leap, as his face contorted with rage. "It was a man who started out like you that killed my parents! Is that what you want to be? You want to mean nothing to everyone? Have no love? No trust? All of the riches in the world can't buy you the things you need most Malfoy!" The boy looked sadly down. "You are nothing to me! You never will be! NOTHING!" The boy screamed, and leapt back upon Draco, hands clawing around his throat. Gasping for air, Malfoy tried to buck the other boy off, but couldn't. He stared screaming with whatever voice he had, but to no avail. . . he was falling into darkness, green eyes tormenting him. The other boy looked as if he were going to cry, and kept whispering 'I'm sorry. . .' Darkness had just about taken him when Draco had saved up enough breath to scream out one word. . .

"POTTER!!!"

Draco bolted upright in his bed. Fearfully, he stared around realizing that Harry Potter wasn't in the room with him, though it was hard, tasting the blood in his mouth where he presumably bit his own tongue. He then stiffened, realizing that he had called out the Gryffindor's name in his sleep, and nervously glanced at the beds around him. It looked as if Goyle was still sleeping, chewing on the edge of his pillow in his silent slumber, while Crabbe was 'sawing logs' so loudly that a Muggle lumberjack would have been ashamed. Panting heavily, he wiped his sweaty forehead with his bedsheet, and realized with an ashamed blush that they were slick with his own semen.

The thought made a lump rise in his throat. 'It's getting to the point where I can't hide it anymore.' He thought miserably, throwing the sheets from him in despair, and cupping his face in his hands. 'How can I, Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy, heir of one of the most promising wizard families have feelings for a half-Mudblood, Muggle raised Gryffindor?!'

Everything's so blurry, and everyone's so fake
Everybody's empty, and everthing is so messed up

The edges of Malfoy's world started to slip as tears silently welled in his eyes. 'Why do I have to feel this way?!' Stiffly, Draco grabbed his sheets, and quietly made his way to the hamper at the end of the hall, to deposit his mussed sheets before anyone else found out. Not that it really mattered. His emotions were becoming much more clear to himself everyday, and he found himself regretting everytime he triggered an event that led further and further to any chance of him and the Boy Who Lived ever having any kind of a friendship. . . even though with the age old rivalry between Slythein and Gryffindor pretty much nullified any chance of that happening.

Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

Shoving the wet blankets down the hamper, he sighed, and slid down the wall, resting against it on the floor. Ever since the fateful day that they had met in Diagon Alley, Draco had taken a liking to the boy. Why else would he have been so inquisitive? But more often than nought, Draco's manner always came off snottier and ruder than his original intent. And then when he had learned the boy was Harry Potter, the nemesis of Lord Voldemort, and therefore also rival to the Malfoy family, what else could he do but hate him?

But there were things that Malfoy admired. His courage, and charm, skill on a broom, and his loyalty to his friends, no matter how poor and shoddy and brainy they were. Things certainly didn't work like that in Slytherin. Could it be that if he had been nicer, no matter what house he was in, Draco himself might have also been considered one of Harry's friends?

Draco sighed deeply. It hadn't always been a thing of lust, or need. . . Draco just wanted to belong. And Harry had everything that Draco, being a Slytherin would never have, not the respect of the Ravenclaws, or the trust of the Hufflepuffs. Having two goons like Crabbe and Goyle just wasn't enough. They were there, but they weren't true friends. . . at least it didn't feel like it. It was like they'd stab him in the back if the right person offered them racing broom.

But Harry, he was liked, and popular, and, Draco winced at the thought, incredibly handsome.

You could be my someone, you could be my scene,
Know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene

But the thought that they were mortal enemies made his heart lurch; knowing that it would never work. Harry would always be the bright, warm sun, and he, the cold distant moon. It was unfair. These feelings. . . they made him weak.

And if Voldermort ever discovered a weakness in the son of one of his allies, it was a certain death, especially if it concerned the only person ever able to stop him. Though Draco knew, deep down, where he couldn't even truthfully admit it to himself, he would risk a thousand Azkaban jail sentances and a hundred Avada Kedavra spells to keep Harry from being hurt. Moaning, he smacked his head back against the wall.

I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far

'Harry Potter. . . nuzzled cozily in his bed in the Gryffindor dorms. . . what a laugh he'd get if he could see my predicament. . .' Malfoy grimaced. 'That or plain old disgust. For all I know, he's dreaming about that Ravenclaw girl. . . or sharing a bed with that Weasley. . .'

Groaning, he wished he hadn't though of that. There were so many Weasleys to choose from, including that Ginny girl, and the annoying Ron Weasley. Vehemently he thought that maybe, if Ron hadn't found that seat next to Harry before him, there might have been a difference.

Can you take it all away?

But really, would there have been? With Harry being a Gryffindor?

Can you take it all away?

Perhaps nothing good did come from Slytherin; like his dream had said. But still, the feeling. . . the soft caresses. . . lips like a butterfly's wing, soft, and deft. . .

Well you shook it in my face
This pain you gave to me

But the pain. . .the hatred mixed up with sadness. . . as if the dream Harry didn't hate Malfoy, but just the person that Slytherin, and his father had made him. . .as if they were twin halves, darkness and light, yin and yang. Though Draco Laughed bitterly; wasn't one of then supposed to be female?

Can you take it all away?

The dreams were becoming too difficult to handle. Ever since the third year, they had happened more and more frequently, with a shocking number of two this week, and it wasn't even Thursday.

Can you take it all away?

But it wasn't exactly like he could ask Snape for a potion to cure this, or any other teacher for another remedy. The fact that he secretly yearned for his greatest rival was not something to divulge with anyone, even if it was becoming harder to keep a secret.

Well you shook it in my face
This pain you gave to me

'Besides, ' he thought miserably, getting to his feet, 'What good would it do to confess to Harry?' Already being good into the fifth year, it was very unlikely that the rivalry that had sprung up between them could be softened by an honest declaration of feeling. . . and if his father found out. . . Draco shuddered.

Once back in the dorm room, he magicked up a new set of bedsheets and lay upon them unable to sleep, for a re-occurence of the dream. 'It's times like this, when I wish I could settle for a snake like Pansy Parkinson.' Malfoy thought, and then winced at his analogy of the girl: a snake. Was that how everyone viewed him?

Everyone is changing, there's no one left that's real
Make up your own ending, and let me know just how you feel

The next morning found Draco Malfoy sitting miserably at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, downcast and picking at a piece of rye toast. Crabbe and Goyle flanked him, eagerly trying to get him into a conversation about which first years that they could make life a living Hell for the day. Neither noticed that his attention was fixated on the Gryffindor table, and obviously uninterested in the childish pranks they wanted to pull. It all seemed so trivial. . .

Potter looked so happy, chatting away with Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley on either side of him. Wondering what it must be like to have actual friends and not talk about stupid things like who would be the most fun to pummel or harrass with a wand, Draco reached for an apple, eyes not once leaving Harry.

Cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you

Draco had never been a prime student in any of his classes, and the more time that he devoted to thinking of, and watching the famous Harry Potter, it seemed the worse his grades got. He sighed, wishing that he didn't have so much to live up to being a Malfoy, and wished that just once, he and Harry could see eye to eye, on equal terms, and just talk.

I stumble, then I crawl

At the prescise moment he grabbed the apple, Harry looked stright at him as if he knew he was being watched. His gaze changed from curious to annoyed in the blink of an eye. Malfoy's heart crashed, and before he knew what he was doing, he glared at Harry and bit into his apple, turning back to Crabbe and Goyle and pretending to find every interest in their trite conversation.

But everytime he looked back at Harry, the other boy seemed to know he was looking at him, and met his gaze, unchallenged. After awhile, Malfoy exasperatedly gave up. He mentally kicked himself with being so obsessive over just looking at Potter.

At least it was better than the things that were happening the night before. . .

You could be my someone, you could be my scene,
Know that I will save you from all of the unclean

Later in the day, as Malfoy was heading back to the dormd to grab an extra quill, he heard a 'pssst!' coming from an unused corridor to his right. Without hesitation, Malfoy knew who it was. Taking a deep breath, and trying to purge himself of any biting comments that might be stirred on by a closed minded person, he stepped into the corridor and stood face to face with the other person.

"Anything I can help you with, being so far out of your Gryffindor territory, Potter?"

I wonder what you're doing
Wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far

The other boy looked at him grimly, pushing up the bridge of his glasses with a forefinger. Malfoy felt a small shiver run through him as he was drawn to those eyes. . . those beautiful eyes that were so guarded at the moment. What exactly was on Harry's mind, that he'd come out seeking Draco Malfoy? Silence echoed dully upon itself in the hallway, and the gap between them felt as if it was swelling, even though he was only a couple of feet away from the Boy Who Lived.

Can you take it all away?

"Yeah, Malfoy, you've been looking at me all day like my nose had turned green, and frankly, I don't like all of this attention. Are you planning on trying some new bit of the Dark Arts that your father taught you on me?" Harry said in muted tones, not angry, but confident, as if he'd caught Malfoy in the act. When Draco stiffened a bit, Harry took that as a yes. "I don't want to play the narc here, but if I get any more of an inkling that you're up to something, I'm going to Dumbledore. Besides, it's no less than you've done in the past."

Draco stared numbly at him and sighed.

Can you take it all away?

Shaking his head, he started to smile. It must have been quite unnerving, because Harry squirmed a bit, realizing that this wasn't the usual, sarcastic, superior Malfoy. When Draco's voice came, he had to listen very hard for it.

Well you shook it in my face
This pain you gave to me?

"I'm always the bad guy, aren't I? Well, I suppose that someone can't be such an asshole for four years and automatically change overnight, eh, Potter?" Draco muttered, not looking at the other boy. Here was his chance. If he just let it all out, maybe, just maybe it wouldn't backfire like that ridiculous wand that Weasley had in his second year.

Can you take it all away?

Malfoy looked up again, catching the Gryffindor right in his emerald eyes. A lump formed in his throat, and it was harder to speak looking at him. "But I suppose you woulnd't believe me if I said I'd been trying. . "

"Trying?! Just last week you tripped Neville as he was making his way to Potions! And it was lucky that the stairs had just finished moving, because he could have fallen stories and seriously gotten hurt!!"

Can you take it all away?

Draco snarled. "Well, I must have Goyle's size 14 shoe then, because it wasn't me! But I guess most of you Gryffindors think that Crabbe and Goyle are my extra arms and legs, huh? It's a wonder I don't get them to spoon feed me at breakfast! Besides, if you had truly been paying attention, I wasn't even looking at them, I was looking at. . ." he faltered, and Harry stared quizzically at him.

". . . you."

Well you shook it in my face
This pain you gave to me?

Harry looked utterly confused, and Draco, more desperate than anything to just stop the conversation, leaned in closer to the boy. "Despite being a Slytherin, and the son of Lucius Malfoy, and your mortal enemy. . ." Draco remembered to breathe, "I love you Harry Potter."

Potter's eyes widened as Draco leaned in the rest of the way and lips met lips. Delicately, Draco kissed the boy, eyes closed, as Harry, in shock, tried to get his brain to work again. Malfoy, in love with him?! Who had hated him and laughed and taunted, and would have gladly seen him dead? Who was running his pale fingers through his ebon hair, and desperately kissing him?!

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say

Suddenly, Malfoy was lying on the floor, clutching the side of his face and looking up sadly at Harry. Breathing heavily, Harry looked down and saw his own balled fist. He turned on Malfoy, shaking badly.

"Harry. . . I. . ." Draco started, pleadingly, but the other boy shook his head furiously.

"No! This isn't right Malfoy. I'm tired of your sick games! Even I didn't think that you would be so low as to trod on love and make a mockery of it!" Harry shouted, and the other boy recoiled. "If you ever, ever try to messs with me again with your stupid lies, I swear you'll be sorry!"

Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to run away

Harry turned and ran. It wasn't until he got back to the Gryffindor common room that he realized that tears were streaming down his face.

Slowly, Malfoy got up, still clutching his face in shock, and let the tears come.

". . . I already am sorry."

Nobody showed you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say

Nobody noticed later that Draco Malfoy was missing from his classes. Except Crabbe and Goyle. During a free period, they tried looking for their fellow Slytherin, but it seemed to be an impossible task. Besides, if Draco didn't want to be found, there was really no chance of him turning up until he himself wanted to.

On the other hand, Hermione and Ron both knew that something was wrong with Harry, though the boy just complained that he had a headache and wasn't feeling well. They didn't press him on the subject, knowing he would most likely tell them in due time.

Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to run away

As for Draco himself, he had been sitting on the roof of the astronomy tower since his run in with Potter. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. No doubt that word of this would leak out somehow. Either Harry would squeal in disgust, or even worse, it would get to Voldemort first. He had spies every where; and it would be just Malfoy's luck that Wormtail had been running around Hogwarts, in rat form, searching for some news to take back to his master.

Can you take it all away?

And his father. . . his father would be so furious and ashamed that he had fallen in love with the dark lord's main nemesis. . . he would probably hand over his son to Voldemort willingly, to whatever torture he would dole out.

Can you take it all away?

Draco couldn't stand it. Why did he have to be so weak? Cursing softly, he rubbed his face where Harry had hit him. There was nothing waiting for him with Harry. Even if the boy had loved him back, what had Draco been thinking? Life would have been twice as dangerous. But with complete and utter disgust of him. . . the anger in those emerald eyes. . . it was too much to bear.

Can you take away the pain
The pain you gave to me?

Staring out over the Hogwart's grounds, he smiled wanly. "Is there anyone here that would truly miss me? Or would they miss the fact that I'm not a pawn in their game anymore?" He stood, staring down over the edge of the roof. The ground seemed so far away. . .

Can you take it all away?

The grass was so lush and emerald green, like the color of Harry's eyes.

Can you take it all away?

Closing his own eyes, Malfoy thought for one second, about the Boy who Lived, beautiful and shining, capturing the snitch at Quidditch, laughing with his friends, looking victorious at winning the house cup yet again, and lastly, sadly, glaring at Malfoy, his worst enemy.

Can you take away the pain
The pain you gave to me?

Draco took a step, and suddenly, he was falling. He opened his eyes to see the ground rushing to meet him. He heard the sounds of other students gasping and screaming as he fell past the windows of full classrooms, shrieks of disbelief from Herbology students on the lawn, and a far off cry and baying of a dog. None of this seemed to matter though. It was to sudden for anyone to react.

This pain you gave to me?

"MALFOY!"

Draco's head whipped in the direction of the sound. Harry Potter stood there, with the rest of the Herbology class, horror on his face. Sadly, Draco smiled at him, and closed his eyes.

"NOOOO!"

This pain you gave to me?

He hit the ground with a sickening crack, and started to choke on his own blood. But in his minds eye, he saw Harry, gleaming and beautiful, and beckoning to him. Heaven or Hell, Malfoy smiled, Harry Potter is both my happiness and torment. And wherever I go, he will be there.

Can you take it all. . . take it all away?



The end?