The Boob Fairy by Diedre Flint

When I first heard this song, I almost died. Sure, I'm no training bra size, but it's still fun to sing to.

When I was in my teenage years I did just what I should;
I listened to my mother, and I was kind and sweet and good,
My friends and I did rituals, and I prayed with all my might
That this would be the evening, that she'd stop along her flight.
Well, that was several years ago and that chick's long overdue
And it's time I came to terms with something plainly clear to you. . .

The boob fairy never came for me
No, the boob fairy never came for me
Okay, I'm spunky and I'm cute,
And I've got a great personality
The boob fairy never came for me

Well, we were the third house on a country drive, I though maybe she just got lost.
So I hung my bra on the mailbox, till the neighbors took it off.
And all my friends got visits and expanded through the years.
And left me wailing to the gods buying training bras at Sears
Still I harbor hope, she'll come for me, I know she will
I'd get 'em done myself if she'd agree to foot the bill

The boob fairy never came for me
No the boob fairy never came for me
Look, I wasn't wanting melons, just a cute curvaceous B!
The boob fairy never came for me

This isn't a song about boobs. Not really.
The boobs are just a set of metaphors to symbolize everyone's fear of human inadquacy.
Hey! We've all felt the pain of being dissed by one fairy of another!
So during the next refrain, I want you to join in with me with your own fairy that never paid a call
Maybe it's the height fairy, or the butt nymph
Men, maybe it's the pectoral or the hair fairy
Or some other fairy you just want to mumble about
Look, Nobody's going to ask you to enunciate. . .
And sister, I don't want you feeling alienated right now because you happen to be full figured
Just change the line to 'the boob fairy just wouldn't let me be'
or 'the boob fairy became obsessed with me!'
Okay, here comes the refrain! Everybody join in!

The boob fairy never came for me
No the boob fairy never came for me
Though the hip fairy came two times
And the thigh fairy came three
The boob fairy never came for me
That boob fairy never came for me!

Hooray for boobies!