I
Use to be a Foolish Girl
By: Neo-Queen
Serenity
E-mail:
serenausako@hotmail.com
Webpage:
http://www.oocities.org/Tokyo/Shrine/6436
I had my
childhood, my life and of course my love, just like any ordinary girl of my
age. I could say that life is
perfect, perhaps in the eyes of a pure, innocent girl. Yet deep in my memory, I missed a chance
to love, and a chanve to be loved back.
Most of all, that incident changed my life forever. If now; I trace back to the year when I
was no older than a 20 year old girl, who’s fighting for her life in her third
year of university, you would realize how foolish I was at that
time...
During my junior
years, a boy named Darien Cindton treated me with care and friendship, he was
almost a big brother to me. He was
studying in the law department, in dream to become a very famous lawyer. He, a very tall, handsome young man, who
could gain the favor of any girl by just a charming smile.
I also considered
him as my best friend. Yes, best
friend, a real pal, you can tell him everything, and he’s always willing to
listen. I was so proud to have him as my friend. Other girls would stare at me
with the greatest envy whenever I would go somewhere with Darien on the
weekends.
Darien and I
talked about everything basically.
We chat about our school life to the distant future; from the United
States to the other side of the Atlantic; from exquisite music pieces to the
wonderful world of literature. I
consider myself a girl full of dreams, and wished that my world was stuffed with
fairy tales. I am a helpless
romantic, how I loved to read sappy romance novels. I am the puffy eyed girl, who loves
crying over a tragdy.
I once read from
a book that love is the exact feeling of horror. I never experienced it, so I
believed it to be true. As I
observed Darien the next day, all I could see in front of my eyes was my
plain,or rather handsome best friend.
Except some occasional blushing, he’s definitely not "horrible". Therefore, I set our relationship to
friends, best friends. To me, a
girl isn’t suppose to fall for her best friend, because if she does, who’s going
to pick up the falling pieces after? Who’s going to be here to comfort her when
she’s heart broken?
A year quickly
went by and it’s my birthday again.
Only this time, it was somewhat different. It was the 20th one which marked my
birth. I invited my friends in
school and decided to have a major celebration over the event. Darien didn’t
attend our little party though, I remembered that he had some very important
school work to get over with and he was extremely busy. So I excused him and promised to tell
him every detail of our fun day.
I joined my
friends in my room and had an afternoon full of fun. Cakes, laughter and music, I was
completely drowning with happiness.
Someone knocked on our door and a young boy showed up with a dozen red
roses. I received that bouquet with
great hesitation. So perfect were
those red petals, I couldn’t help put keep on blushing, matching up the flash on
my cheek with those exquisite red.
With the roses, there was a very beautiful card printed with silver roses
and written in gold.
"I hope you like
these roses, have a happy and memorable 20th."
From a boy who admires you
The card wasn’t
signed and there was no name attached to it. It left me with wonderment and great
curiosity. My friends soon engaged
themselves in deep conversation about the person who sent these roses. Finally they came up with a decision,
they concluded that he must be my prince on the white horse. All this time, I was sitting dazed,
fingering those soft and tender petals.
I went to the
flower shop which delivered the roses the following morning, hoping to get some
information about the mysterious admirer.
The lady who was in charge of the shop smiled mischievously at my
presence and declared that she promised to keep her customer’s name in
secret. She told me, he was a very
tall, handsome and young boy. I
blushed all the way back to my room in school. My heart beating at a feverish
rate, thinking about that "handsome boy".
I rushed to
Darien and told him all about the party, and of course, including that dozen of
red roses. He was wearing a dark
shirt that day, looking irresistably dashing and intriguing. I finished my story in one breath. Looking up respectively, I asked for his
judgment and opinion. He smiled.
That dashing and handsome look I never forgot.
"First, answer me
two questions. Who do you rather
think that sent you these roses? Who would you rather want to believe that sent
you these roses? Now, you must
speak honestly."
I drew in a deep
breath, quickly searching for a real answer.
"First question,
I don’t know. Second, I wish
William sent them."
William was a guy
who I fell in love with when I first met him, a great leader and friend.
"What?! William?
You love him?..." Darien’s face suddenly turned pale, his eyes unbelieving.
"What’s the
matter?...Is he that bad?..." I was confused by his strange action; I thought he
considered William unsuitable for me.
"no...no...It’s
just that I never thought of it...hmm..."
He soon made an excuse about having a headache and left me alone.
I was rather
confused by his odd behavior. But I remained happy, because to my belief, no
girl could be sad on her own birthday.
A week later, I
was stressed out about William because he already had a girlfriend. So he’s out of the list. But who sent me those red roses? That "handsome boy" never showed up
again in my life, I never got to know who he really is. I was stressed to conclude that I will
never find him, but those roses, they’re really beautiful
flowers.
Graduation
followed quickly, there ending my 4 years of university life. I parted with Darien in tears, not
wanting to let go of our friendship which I treasured so much. He comforted me
and held me close like he had done numerous times before. Sobbing into his warm chest as I
clutched his arm, never even realizing that he was also in
tears.
2 years
later. I found myself a job and
lived my life normally in Boston. I
soon forgot about Darien, my one and only best friend in college.We never
contacted much after our departure, time loosened our
friendship.
One day, I
received a letter from Australia.
It was from Darien Cindton. That familiar curly writing brought back my
memory from the past once more. In
the letter, he talked plainly as if nothing had changed between us during those
years of separation. He’s still
that teasing and cheerful man. He
went to Australia after college and began his education at a higher level. He got married, to a very beautiful
woman who’s in the wedding picture he attached to the letter.
I read on, catching up our youthful days
from his words. Suddenly, a line of
writing burned my eyes.
"You’re a very
special girl, and very important to me.
I once sent you a dozen of red roses, but I guess I am not what you
wanted, maybe fate decided that we should never be together. As a best friend, I wish you good luck
as always."
I stared at his
beautiful writing and that line of
black ink. Those roses! I read the line 10 times until tears fell out of my
eyes. It was HIM!
Regret, longing,
recognition, and millions more jumped out of my heart, forming a bitter taste
mixture. How foolish was I to cast away true love, how much I now regret over
what could have belonged to me is now mine no more, how...
I treasured that
letter in-between my dairy pages. I
never wrote back, I wouldn’t let him know. Perhaps past is always the
past...
The
End.
Neo-Queen Serenity's Crystal Tokyo was originally established on August 18th, 1998.
It is owned and operated by Neo-Queen Serenity
