From the Creator of The Rice Balls of Death
comes ...
A Kenshin Detergent Commercial!!!
Random commercial by:Lichey
*********************************************************
Kenshin was doing the laundry. He liked to do the laundry. It was a simple task
that didn't require special techniques or god speed. It also didn't attract any enemies or
challengers. Kenshin hummed to himself as his mind drifted.
"Hmm. I wonder what a laundry challenge would be like?" he mumbled.
A slight breeze blew some leaves across the grass area by the river. A few birds
soared by overhead. None of these things were noticed by Kenshin or his opponent. Kenshin
stood behind his washing tub, both feet firmly planted. A dozen feet away stood a tall, lithe
figure swathed head to toe in bandages. Both opponents stared at each other with hard,
measuring glares. A silence descended upon the clearing and the breeze stopped..
"Shishio!" Kenshin's voice sliced through the tension-laced silence, "you would
use your secret laundry techniques to herald a new domestic era, thus shattering the Meiji
government's organization. As long as I have breath in my body I must stop you!"
Shishio, standing behind his own washing tub threw back his head and laughed
maniacally, "You fool! The Meiji government is weak and deserves to be replaced by my
ideal new order. If I have to burn the whole country with bleach- then SO BE IT!! In this
world there's only one law- The clean live and the dirty die MWAHAHAHAHAHAHa!!!"
Kenshin reaches into his shirt and draws out a box of special Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu
detergentT. "Then let us fight.", he says in a low whisper.
Shishio reaches down behind his washing bin and brings up and special box. Kenshin
felt his heart leap into his mouth at the sight of the box's label - Tide!!
Suddenly, by some unseen signal, both Kenshin and Shishio whip out piles of clothing.
Shishio hurls a massive heap of bloody bandages into his washing tub and Kenshin dumps in a
load of Kaoru's nasty workout clothing. The ripping of box tops fills the air as both opponents
dump in perfectly prepared portions of detergent.
Shishio, having whipped out a washboard, starts laughing maniacally again, "HAHAHA.
Now. behold my raging fire laundry technique!!" Shishio began to scrub the bandages, faster and
faster, until they burst into flames! Kenshin, working furiously, noticed that only the blood on the
bandages was burning away, leaving the bandages clean! "Hmm.time for some serious laundering."
Kenshin thought.
"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu special technique - Cheer with Color Guard!!"
Shishio looked at Kenshin dumping straight bleach on blue clothing with suspicion. Surely
the famous laundry-sai knew that he just ruined the colors of Kaoru's pants. Then the meaning of what
Kenshin just did sunk in. Cheer, with color guard! By using cold water, Kenshin could bleach the
white shirt but not have to worry about the pants. Shishiho suddenly realized that at this rate,
he would lose.
Kenshin saw the barrage of SOS pads barely in time to raise his washboard to deflect the
lethal fusillade. However, he paid a dear price. After the last SOS pad ricocheted of his wash board
the board itself suddenly cracked and shattered. Shishio's laughter beat at Kenshin.
"Ah ha! I have won. Die, laundry-sai! What??", Shishio's triumph suddenly turned to alarm
as Kenshin drew from his saya an extremely shiny, sword-like object.
Kenshin drew the specially shaped mirror-sword he kept in his saya. With this mirror he
could perform the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu's laundry succession technique. He grabbed the clothing from
his wash tub and hurled it into the air in front of him. The mirror flashed as it seemed to touch every
thread of the fabric at once. The perfectly clean clothing landed into the now dry wash tube. The
colors seemed to glow and the whites were blindingly white.
Shishio couldn't believe the technique. Kenshin was using his sword skill to literally pick off
the dirt from the garments. At the same time this secret technique also infused the garments with light
to the point where they glowed! Then Shishio looked down at his own laundry and saw something,
his hands. Shishio gasped in horror. How could he have gone over the 15 minute time limit! It wasn't
possible! With panic making him shake, Shishio gazed down at his hands. The bandages were
coming loose and he could see the...
Wrinkled fingers...like prunes.
Screaming, Shishio fled -
WHAP!!
The flying form of Yahiko suddenly filled Kenshin's vision, snapping him out of the daydream
in time to be drenched by wash water as Yahiko landed IN his wash tub.
Yahiko rubbed his eyes and said, "Ouch! Kaoru!! Did ya' hafta throw me so far?!"
THE END
Send any comments/money to stevbach@mindspring.com
(
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine) (
geocities.com/tokyo)