FY Lunatics
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Fushigi Yuugi is the property of Watase Yuu, Bandai, Flower Comics,
Tokyo Television, and others. Animaniacs is the property of Warner Bros
and Steven Speilberg. No infringement was intended with the writing of
the fic.
[Scene: B&W footage of an Anime Studio somewhere in Japan.]
Voice Over: Long ago, Watase Yuu created Fushigi Yuugi. [Footage of
Watase-sama drawing pictures of Chichiri, Nuriko, and Miaka in SD form.]
But the characters got loose and wreaked havoc on the Studio. [Chichiri
and Nuriko jump off the drawing and into Watase-sama's arms, saying,
"Hellooooo, Nurse!!" The SD trio run off through the Studio Lot.] They
were apprehended and locked away, [Tomo, in his makeup, catches them in
a net and throws them into the water tower] where they were never seen
again...until.
[The SD trio pop out of the water tower and begin singing]:
"It's time for FYLunatics!
And we're here to sell our schtick.
And we really get our kicks,
[The SD trio, ala chorus line, are doing kicks. Pan down, during the
next line, to show them standing on the rest of the cast. They are piled
one on top of the other. At the very bottom is Nuriko holding them all
up with one hand.]
doing stupid human tricks.
[Miaka and Chichiri join him.]
We're FYLunatics!"
Chichiri: "I'm Chichiri!"
Nuriko: "I'm Nuriko!"
Both: "And there's Miaka too."
[The two point to Miaka, who is busy eating, but stops long enough to
smile and give a "victory sign".]
All: "We run all over Konan trying to summon Suzaku.
And Tomo tries to catch us, while we run around this zoo.
[Tomo in a security guard suit runs after them, but they reappear a
moment later.]
But we get free, and so you see,
That's all we really do
We're FYLunatics!
We love to play with 'pick up sticks'(tm)'
Chichiri does magic tricks.
While we watch some rented flicks.
We're FYLunatics!
Amiboshi, Suboshi and Yui, with her song.
Mitsukake. The Goodfeathers, who never get along.
Ashitare, Miboshi. Soi and Nakago.
[Quick glimpses of the cast as they are sung about.]
You've met the cast. And now at last.
Let's get on with the show!
We're FYLunatics!
We've taken hostage of 'The Tick'.
[They dance around a bound 'Tick', who's holding a "help me, Arthur'
sign.]
And we gulp down pixie stix(tm),
While she writes this silly fic.
[Cind-chan sits at the computer, while the SD trio, dance and jump
around as well as on her.]
We're FYLoony!
Totally Goony!"
Miaka and Yui: "We love George Clooney! [He's tied to a chair as Miaka
and Yui stand on either side, staring at him with hearts in their eyes.]
We're FYLunatics!!
We'll make you sick!"
[Scene: Cage inside a lab. In the cage are a very small Nakago and Soi
dressed in mouse outfits]
Soi: So, what are we going to do tonight, Nakago?
Nakago: The same thing we do every night, Soi. Try to take over the
world!
[voiced-over singing]
"They're Soi and the Blond!
Soi and the Blond!
One is sadistic, the other too fond!
To prove their Seishi worth,
They'll overthrow the Earth!
They're Soi. Soi and the Blond
blond, blond, blond, blond."
[The SD trio run across the screen. Not too far behind is Tomo carrying
a huge net. They pass by Miboshi dressed in a toddler clothes. He
watches the three run by then calls out to Tomo]
Miboshi: Hello Mr. Man. Whatcha doin'?
Tomo(not too happy to be stopped): I'm trying to catch that trio of
lunatics.
Miboshi: Why?
Tomo(annoyed): Because they escaped from the water tower where they were
locked away.
Miboshi: Why?
Tomo(angry): Because they are lunatics!!
Miboshi: Okay! Love you! Bye bye!
[Tomo continues to chase the trio. Miboshi wanders off. A moment later a
panicked Ashitare runs across, looking for Miboshi. Scene goes to
someplace. Yui, dressed as a cat is being followed by Suboshi dressed as
a dog]
Suboshi (sounding like "Rain Man"): Where are we going, Yui?
Yui: We've got to find the Shinhazo, Suboshi.
Suboshi: Oh, yeah. Shinhazo. Got to find. Definitely. Definitely got to
find.
[The SD trio run across the screen, followed still by Tomo. Yui and
Suboshi watch them pass]
Suboshi: Why are we going after the Shinhazo?
Yui (breaking into song):
"For home, I long to go.
So I must find the Shinhazo.
To summon Seiryuu.
It's simply what I must do."
Suboshi: That's a lovely song, Yui. You're a good dog. Definitely.
Definitely a good dog.
Yui: I'm a cat.
Suboshi: Cat! Cat! Where's the cat??
Yui(sighs): Nevermind, Suboshi. Let's go.
[Goes to the interior of a psychiatrist's office. Mitsukake is sitting
in a chair. The SD trio sit on a couch.]
Mitsukake (with a German accent): Okay. I vant you to tell me how you
are feeling. Ve'll start vith you, Miaka. Miaka?
[Pan to see Miaka in the corner stuffing her face. She looks at him with
a "huh?" expression on her face]
Mitsukake: Miaka, I vant to tell me how you are feeling.
Miaka: Hungry.
Mitsukake: No! No! No! I vant you to...Oh nevermind. Nuriko. Tell me how
you feel.
Nuriko: I feel great, Doc. See? [Starts posing, showing off his physique.
Mitsukake: No! No! I vant to know how you are feeling in the head. I vant
to get in your head.
Nuriko: I don't think you'll fit, Doc. I mean, my head is so small and
you are very tall. I don't think you could fit in there.
[Mitsukake starts pulling his hair and suppressing a scream of
frustration.]
Chichiri: I think he want to know what's going on in your head, no da.
That's what shrinks like to do, no da.
Mitsukake: Thank you, Chichiri. But please don't call me a shrink. I'm a
psychiatrist.
Miaka (around a mouthful of food: A what?
Mitsukake: A psychiatrist! Psychiatrist!! P-S-Y-C-H-I-A-T-R-I-S-T!!
Nuriko: Shouldn't that be pronounced p-sychiatrist?
Mitsukake (on the verge of a nervous breakdown): NOOOOO!! "P" is silent!
Chichiri (looking straight into the camera): Daaaaaa. I would comment,
but this is a family show, no da.
[Goes onto a city street. Miniature versions of Hotohori, Tamahome, and
Tasuki in pigeon suits are seen walking, or rather waddling, down the
street.]
Tamahome (voice-over): As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted
to protect the miko. The only problem is...where is she?? The best I can
figure, she's somewhere eating.
[The three continue down the road. As they pass a window, Hotohori
catches a glimpse of himself.]
Hotohori: Even as a pigeon, I'm beautiful. Coo.
[Tamahome and Tasuki grimace. The SD trio run by stepping on the two
birds. Hotohori, still looking at his reflection, doesn't see it. Tomo
runs by, also stepping on the two.]
Tasuki: That does it!! [reaches into his pigeon suit and takes out a
tiny fan] Rekka Shiiiiiiiiiinen!!
[Tomo is fried. His net disintegrates. He breathes out a puff of smoke
then falls to the ground]
Tamahome: Wow! That was great! Tasuki, you're cool!
Tasuki: What did you call me??
Tamahome: Nothing. I said, you're cool.
Tasuki: What. You think I'm an icecube? Are you saying that I'm some
kind of small snowman here for your amusement??
Tamahome: No, no! That's not what I meant!
Tasuki: I'm cool. [Tamahome nods, enthusiastically] That does it!!
[Tasuki jumps on Tamahome and starts beating the snot out of him.
Hotohori continues to preen in front of the window.]
Announcer: Once again, it's "Rhyme Time".
[Amiboshi is shown in a mime costume.]
Announcer: First. Climbing a ladder.
[Amiboshi goes through the motions on climbing a ladder.]
Announcer: Next. Walking against the wind.
[Amiboshi goes through the movements.]
Announcer: Finally. Catching a football.
[Amiboshi mimes catching a football. A moment later he is buried under
several burly football players]
Announcer: The end.
[The SD trio run towards to water tower. A recovered Tomo still chases
with a huge net. The trio get to the water tower. Chichiri takes his
kasa off and places it upside down on the ground. A ladder comes up from
the kasa. They climb up the ladder, reach the top and look down. Tomo
begins to climb the ladder as it quickly goes back down into the kasa.
He gets to the top rung as it disappears into the kasa. Tomo falls flat
on his face. The SD trio look at each other and shrug. They open the
door to the water tower and leap in, closing it behind them.]
[Slow zoom back to show that the scene is being watched on a TV. Pan to
see Taiitsu-kun, in a squirrel outfit, sitting in a chair. Chiriko, also
in a squirrel outfit sits on the floor beside her.]
Taiitsu-kun(laughing): Now that's comedy!
Chiriko: What comes on now, Auntie Taiitsu-kun?
Taiitsu-kun: I don't know. Some fight between a woman in minimal
clothing and a guy with a lot of make-up on.
Chiriko: Hurray!!
[Goes back to the lab. Nakago stares out of the bars as Soi runs on an
exercise wheel.]
Soi: So, what are we going to do tonight, Nakago? [Nakago turns around
and gives her a look. She stops running a moment.] Right, Nakago. Try to
take over the world. Narf!
[Voiced-over singing]
They're Soi. Soi and the Blond
blond, blond, blond, blond.
[Closing credits. The last shot is of the Water tower. the door opens to
show Miaka.]
Miaka: Tamahomeeeeeee!
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Written by Cind-chan.
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THE END
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