Only her - chapter five
By Henra
HenraM@tuxedomask.com
PG rated
So...here’s chapter 5. Yeah, it took me quite a long time...^^
Chapter five
**************
“I...”
I stared at Serena, feeling as if I had been slapped in the face.
Serena’s blue eyes stared at me, then glanced at the spot where she
said ‘Raye’ had gone. I didn’t know what to say, or to do. I just plain gaped at her.
“Darien...that...that was...” Serena swallowed, “Raye.”
I nodded. Numbly, it felt like. “Yeah. You--you already said that.”
“Yeah...and...I need to.” Serena looked at me, her eyes a swirl of confusion.
“I think I need to go to her.” And with one last look at me, she started to walk away.
Frantic, I grabbed her wrist. She turned around. “Serena!!” I called
her name in disbelief, not believing that she could just walk way like that.
She lowered her gaze. “She likes you, Darien. A lot. And the other day
she told me about it...and now she saw us...kissing...she’ll think I’m, I’m heartless.”
She glanced up at me again. “You have to understand. She’s the first friend that I
ever had in this school.”
“You...you’re just going to go like that?” I asked, my eyes wide.
“Darien!” By now I could see a tear glistening in the corner of her eye.
“Please! What would you do if you saw one of your friends kiss the girl YOU like?”
I dropped my hand from her wrist abruptly. “Fine. Go,” I said stiffly,
looking away.
She seemed to notice it. She put a hand on my arm. “Darien...”
I glanced back at her. At the girl that I had practically fell in love
at first sight, the girl that I had agonized over talking to, the girl that I had
saved from a bastard, the girl that I then pained over thinking that she liked
someone else, the girl that...that I had fallen for...hard. I glanced at Serena,
feeling a million emotions running through me. “Go.”
She looked at me closely, as if to make sure that I was being serious.
Then, she nodded. “You have to understand...” And then, she ran away.
I watched her.
Damn. Why was it so hard for her to be in my arms?
Serena stopped in her tracks, and looked around. She didn’t see Raye.
She couldn’t forget the look on Darien’s face when she told him that
she had to go to Raye. And she did have to...didn’t she?
Serena groaned. She felt like crying.
What could she do, anyway? Just go on kissing Darien as if she didn’t
see the hurt on Raye’s face? But...now that she was trying to find Raye, she was
ignoring the hurt on Darien’s face.
Just then, she caught a flash of familiar long black hair. Serena ran
toward it, “Raye! Raye, stop! Please!”
Raye stopped, her back facing Serena.
Serena stepped up hesitantly, licked her lips, and spoke, “Raye...I’m--I’m
sorry you had to see that.”
Raye turned around, and to Serena’s surprise, there was a small smile
on her face. “It’s okay, Serena...I mean, I did tell you to forget what I said, right?
And it’s good...that you got with Darien.”
It was just what she wanted to hear, but Serena refused to believe it.
Not with the teary-eyed face that spoke the words. “Raye...I...I don’t know what
to say...”
“You don’t have to say anything, believe me,” Raye replied, still
smiling softly. “I’m really happy for you, you know. I was right before--a girl
as pretty as you did get a chance with him.”
Serena smiled when she remembered the words Raye spoke on the first
days of school. “Listen, Raye...I--”
“Serena, you listen. You don’t need to apologize, okay? I’m really
happy for you! I’m serious!”
“Then why did you run away like that when you saw...us kissing?”
Raye lowered her gaze. “I don’t really know. When I saw you, I just
remembered how I had really wanted Darien a long time ago...and I realized that,
that I lost the chance...to one of my friends...and it was, it was really
overwhelming that I just--just ran.”
Serena nodded. “Do you think you’re all right?”
Raye looked up and smiled. “I’m all right, Serena. I’m really glad,
though--even though you didn’t have to run after me--you still did, and I’m really
glad you had. It showed me how much you really think of our friendship.”
“Oh, Raye. I treasure our friendship sooo much,” Serena said truthfully,
smiling.
“Well...go back to Darien now, okay? I’m sure he’s a little bit annoyed
that you just ditched him like that.”
Serena bit her lip, thinking deeply. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure, Serena. It’s not like I was with Darien before...so I’m okay,
all right?”
“What about the hurt on your face?” Serena persisted.
Raye looked away, her smile slowly disappearing. “I WAS hurt, Serena,
but not because you and Darien were kissing. I was hurt because I thought Darien
liked me...but he likes you. So I guess the asking me to the party thing meant nothing
to him.”
“Raye...god, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Raye’s violet eyes met Serena’s blue ones, and she smiled.
“Go. Go find your Prince Charming.”
Serena laughed. She gave Raye a long hug. “Thanks, Raye.”
“For what?”
“For being my friend.”
“You’re welcome.”
They both smiled at each other.
I was pissed.
I admit it, I was pissed.
Maybe because I was very popular, maybe because no girl had ever did
anything similar like that...I was pissed that Serena ran away like that...even though
I had assured her that she could.
I needed to punch something.
I looked around for any kind of target...the pole? No...my knuckles would
hurt. A freshman? Definitely not...they are defenseless, and I didn’t want to be
known as the guy who easily punched people.
“Darien, hey man!”
I turned around, and found Josh several feet away, walking toward me
with his backpack over one shoulder. I nodded, acknowledging him. “Hey.”
“What’s with the long face?” He asked, straight to the point.
I stared at him. “What long face?”
“You know, the expression you have on right now. Something like this,”
Josh said, while making a face that someone who just lost a million dollars might
have.
I gave him a little punch. “I don’t look like that...do I?”
Josh laughed. “What, is the great Daren actually insecure?”
I rolled my eyes. “Shut up, Josh.”
“Anyway, what happened?” Josh walked toward the fountain, and I walked
along beside him.
“Well, I kissed Serena, and then Raye saw us, and Serena left me to
find and explain things to Raye,” I told him truthfully.
Josh’s eyes bugged out and he swallowed the water in his mouth with
one huge gulp. “You being serious, man? You kissed her, and she ditched you just
like that?” He made a snap with his fingers.
I nodded, grimacing.
“Man...what happened to you? Did your breath stink or what?”
I glared at him. “No.”
“So? What’s it got to do with Raye?”
I shrugged. “How am I supposed to know?” Well...it was partly true. I
knew that Raye liked me...Serena told me that...but it wasn’t like I really went out
with Raye before...just asked her to go to a little party...so what was the problem?
Josh shook his head. “Damn, man. Where is Serena now?”
I shrugged. “Who knows? Who cares?”
He looked at me. “Hey, man--you okay?”
“Let me ask you something, Joshie-boy,” I said, using the nickname that
I made for him in our sophomore year, “If you had just kissed the girl who you had
been thinking about forever, and just wanted to hold her in your arms...when this,
this FRIEND of that girl, who, apparently, saw you kissing, and ran away. Now, I
know that maybe the friend was hurt...but still...Anyway, the girl immediately
ran after her, saying something like ‘You have to understand’. With you, a senior,
standing there, staring after her, a sophomore, in a spot there was a whole lot
of people around, feeling like the biggest idiot on the face of Earth. How would
you feel?”
Josh stared at me. I didn’t blame him. I had never, ever, said so many
words to him at once ever since we started to hang out together. He narrowed his
eyes a bit in concentration. “Geez...when you put it that way...”
I sighed. “I don’t know, but...maybe, maybe...Serena can give me a real
reason why she had to run after Raye like that. I mean, for god’s sake, it wasn’t
like I was cheating on Raye with Serena or something, so I can’t really think of
anything THAT serious.”
Beside me, Josh sighed. “Girls.”
I knew he was thinking of Anna Maria again.
I put a hand on his shoulder.
I didn’t see Serena again yesterday. I arrived at school today, feeling
very self-conscious. Through the morning classes I had been distracted, thinking
about her. Now was lunch period. I didn’t want to make it obvious that I was looking
for Serena, so I made a point of not darting my eyes around as I walked.
“Yo, Darien!”
I turned toward the voice. And grinned. “What’s up, Andrew?”
Andrew walked closer to me, and smiled lazily. “I had a fight with Rita.”
I frowned. “What? Why?”
“No real reason. Couples fight all the time...”
I gawked at him. “Andrew...”
He shrugged, as if telling me that he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Well, when are you going to make up with her?” I asked.
“At least a few weeks or so.”
“A few weeks?” I exclaimed. “Andrew, she might think that you broke
up, and might go and date someone else!”
“No, she wouldn’t, man. We just had a fight...that doesn’t meant our
relationship is over.” He looked at his watch. “I gotta go. Later, man.” And walked
away before I could say anything more.
I felt a little bit weird. Of all my former girlfriends, when I fought
with them, and didn’t make up after a week, it usually meant that we’re over.
I shook my head, and started working my way through the crowd.
Where was Serena?
Someone almost knocked me over from behind. I turned around with a
scowl on my face. “Hey, watch--”
I stopped.
It was Serena. She was smiling sheepishly at me, her head lowered.
“Serena.”
She looked up at me, and bit her lip. “Hi, Darien. Can we...talk?”
I nodded, careful to keep on the same expression on my face. “Let’s go
over to the stairs leading to the second floor.”
She followed me silently as we headed toward the flight of stairs.
When we reached, I stayed on the same level. Serena stepped up one step,
and with that, she was practically the same height as me.
For a minute there was silence. I remembered how pissed I had been
yesterday.
“You patched things up with Raye?” I asked her, my voice
stiff.
Serena nodded, her eyes looking into mine. “Yeah. She is pretty cool
about it.”
“She’s okay?” I asked, feeling like I had to.
Serena smiled. “Yeah, she’s okay. I’m glad I have a friend like Raye,”
she said softly.
“Cool.” I looked away.
Beside me, I felt Serena shifting uncomfortably all of a sudden.
“Darien...are you mad at me?”
I looked at her, and somehow, I didn’t feel my heart pound like it
usually did before when I looked at her. I recalled how angry I had been, and spoke.
“No, Serena, why should I? Just because you left me standing there like a fool to
go after your friend who has no reason at all to be hurt like you told me? Of course
not.” I knew my voice sounded like ice, but I couldn’t help it.
But, I regretted what I said when I saw her eyes flash pain. “Darien...”
her voice cracked, “I’m sorry. I really am. But you have to understand...” Her eyes
pleaded, and I felt my heart break.
Only I was a senior. And she was a sophomore. Seniors didn’t get ditched
by sophomores. Especially a senior like me.
Clearing my throat, I spoke again. “Serena, and YOU have to understand,
too. Think about it from my angle, all right? Here I was, a popular guy who could have
any girl he wanted, who had all kinds of friends, and who totally fell for this girl
he just merely glanced at on the first day...and I...I had just kissed her, and
somehow, her friend, who I have no idea why acted that way, saw us and ran away.
“And she ran after her friend, muttering a few words of ‘understanding’
to me, leaving me standing there like a fool. I mean, come on, Serena--how embarrassing
would it be for me, huh, if one of the guys saw me got ditched by a SOPHOMORE girl?”
I blurted it all out, and looking at her change of expressions, I felt as if I
shouldn’t have.
Serena stared at me, her eyes still. “Darien, Raye is my friend! If it
weren’t for her, I won’t HAVE any friends in this school!”
“Oh, come on, Serena, you can make friends sooner or later.”
“Yeah, much, much later. Raye was my first real friend here, okay? She
was the one who helped me through my awkwardness on the first day of school. And when
she saw us...she was hurt! And I had to go find her, you do know that, don’t you?” Her
eyes seemed pleading, pleading for me to understand.
I tried to, really. But I still didn’t understand why Raye ran away like
that. I narrowed my eyes slightly. “Tell me, then, what had caused Raye to be so
‘hurt’, like you said?”
She seemed to hesitate. Then, with a deep breath, she spoke again. “Didn’t
I tell you before? She really, really likes you.”
“Yeah, she likes me. So what?” I sighed. “Serena, why are you making
this such a big deal? So she saw us kiss. It wasn’t like we were...cheating on her.
You are acting as if we were. Hell, I wasn’t even WITH her before, so there’s no
reason--at least in my right mind--that Raye should behave like she did--crying and
running away.” I stared at Serena, feeling out of breath.
“The thing is, Darien--she confessed to me her feelings for you--”
“Confessed?” I had to control the urge to snort. “My god, so what? She
confessed, and just because of that, we can’t even kiss in public because you’re
afraid that she’ll see?”
“No, Darien, I...” she trailed off, sighing, staring at the ground.
I looked at her. Still, I couldn’t shrug off the ridiculous feeling.
“Look, all I’m saying is that Raye had no real reason to do what she did--crying and
running off. And you didn’t need to run after her, ditching me behind like that.”
Her eyes suddenly flashed. She crossed her arms in front of her. “All
you care about is the fact that you got ditched by a sophomore, huh? You don’t even
care for Raye’s feelings!”
I thought about it for a moment. “I do care for Raye, okay? But I think
what she did was immature. Totally immature. She IS a sophomore, for god’s sake! If
I saw one of the girls I just LIKE, who I NEVER went out with before, kissing some
other guy, I wouldn’t go make a scene by crying and running away.”
“You said that you care for her. But it sure doesn’t look like it. She
isn’t immature, Darien, she’s just hurt.” She sounded a little mad.
“And she has no reason to be.”
Serena shook her head, looking at me with an expression of anger. “I just
can’t believe that you are so heartless.”
“Heartless?” I repeated. “Heartless. You think I’m heartless.” I stared
at her, not wanting to believe what she just said. “No, you know what--I think I’m
tasteless. Why? Because I have fallen for a girl like you!”
“Oh, so you are regretting that you ever liked me, huh?” Her voice
cracked.
I didn’t let that get to me. Heartless...I may have been called a lot of
things, but no one had ever called me cruel. “All I know is that if I even had a
moment to think about it, I wouldn’t have fallen for someone who thinks that
I’m cruel.”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have!” She exclaimed.
“I SHOULDN’T have, that’s for sure!”
“I thought you were a nice guy, Darien. But, you’re--you really are
heartless!”
“No, you know what--I am a nice guy. But if you think I’m heartless,
then I guess I have no other things to say. Why don’t you go find some other guy
that you think isn’t heartless? I’m outta here.” I started to walk away.
“Well--go!” Serena yelled after me. “Just leave!”
“I am!”
I walked blindly until I was sure that I was out of her sight. I
could feel people staring at me, but I didn’t care.
Did I just fight with Serena?
Serena, who I had thought was beautiful, sweet?
I shook my head, feeling a pain at my heart.
Serena let the tears flow down her face, not bothering to wipe them
away. Someone bumped into her from behind, and she didn’t even turn around to see
who it was. She looked distractedly at the crowd of people on the school ground,
and realized that she was still standing at the same spot where she had just had
fought with Darien. She turned and walked shakily back toward her school building.
*The restroom would be a good place to cry.*
“God!” She exclaimed to herself as she walked into the empty hallway.
“What happened to me?” She made her way around a corner, and pushed the door open to
the restroom. She walked in a stall and closed the door. She leaned against it, and
the tears automatically increased.
She had meant to talk to Darien, to erase away the awkwardness they had
felt yesterday when she had told him that she had to go after Raye. But...she had ended
up fighting with him instead.
And, boy...did she really mess it up. She saw Darien’s face before he turned
away from her...there was a mixture of emotions on it that she didn’t know...and she
was sure that it was that mixture of emotions that had did it.
She didn’t sob actually...she just sniffed here and there when the tears
were too much. A few minutes later, she heard someone coming in. She hoped it was not
a senior girl. She bit her lip to try to fight away the crying urge.
“Man...I don’t believe this...”
Hearing the person’s voice, Serena perked up. She called out, “Lita?”
There was a hesitation. Then, “Serena? Is that you in there?”
Serena unlocked the door and came out, and then winced when she caught
her reflection in the mirror. Eyes, nose, cheeks were all a shade of pink. Her hair
by her forehead was messed up, probably from the way she had been holding her head
miserably.
“Oh my god...what happened? Are you okay?” In a minute Lita was holding her
by the shoulders.
“I totally blew it, Lita...I totally blew it!” Serena cried.
“Okay, okay...” Lita gathered her in a hug, and held her. “What happened?”
she asked quietly, concerned.
“Darien...we had a fight...”
She pulled back gently to look at Serena in the face. “What happened with
Darien?”
“I said that he was heartless...right to his face!”
Lita gasped. Even she couldn’t believe it. “Damn, girl. You have guts.”
“I should’ve never said it, Lita,” Serena said sorrowfully, shaking her
head. “After I blurted out that one key word...everything between us turned... We
yelled at each other...and he walked away...I feel so awful...” She placed her hands
on her face, and sobbed again.
“You...really like this guy, huh?” Lita asked hesitantly.
Serena looked at her in the eye. “I guess so,” she said, sadly, it seemed.
“And you know what makes me feel worse? It’s the fact that Darien had saved me from
being--being...hurt,” she told Lita, “And, and I can’t believe that I made him angry!
I mean, I should be pleasing him, should be thanking him...and instead what I do? I
go ahead and make a fool out of myself! God dammit!”
“What did HE do?” Lita asked gently.
“Huh?”
“I mean, what did he do to make you say that?”
“We were...we were...” Suddenly Serena realized to tell her the answer meant
telling her about Raye, about Raye seeing she and Darien kiss...and somehow, she wasn’t
up to it. She shook her head, waving a hand in the air absently. “It doesn’t matter...
man, I just--I just wish that there was some way I can, you know, turn back the time,
and do it all over again.”
Lita nodded sadly. “Doesn’t everyone want to turn back time sometimes?”
Her voice was quiet, and it was mixed with emotions that Serena had no way of knowing
what they were. “Anyway,” Lita tried a smile, “Are you going to stay in here through
the period?”
Serena shrugged, managing a small smile. “I don’t know. Probably. Best
to get it out of my system before continuing to do something else. And...Lita, what
were you muttering about when you came in here? Something about ‘I don’t believe
this’...?”
Lita rolled her eyes. “Nothing, actually. My history teacher wants me to
do an assignment all over again just because I forgot to indent! CAN you believe that?”
Serena smiled. “How could you forget to indent, anyway?”
“Ugh! I don’t know! It was only three paragraphs!”
“Glad I don’t have the same teacher you do,” Serena commented, turning
on the water to wash her hands.
“Oh, well. Do you want to come hang out with us by the stairs? We already
finished lunch...”
Serena grabbed a paper towel to dry her hands. The stairs...where she and
Darien had talked...and fought...“No, I’m just going to stay in here...until I feel
like going outside again.”
“You sure?” Lita placed a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay, then.” She paused, and then gave Serena a hug. “See you!” She
left with a cheerful smile.
She had always thought that Lita was sort of like a tomboy, not the
huggy sort of type. She especially did not expect that Lita would be the one who
she had first told about Darien. *Well, I guess I learned something new about a
friend today...* Serena thought, smiling a little bit.
She glanced at herself in the mirror again. She sighed, and bit her lip.
*Oh, god...I don’t even want to imagine how Darien feels right now...*
She flashed back to the moment before Raye spotted them. She touched a
finger to her lips, where Darien had kissed her...when she had thought that everything
was so perfect at that moment...
“Give me a break!”
“I already gave you tons of breaks, Mina, I don’t know if I can anymore.”
Mina pressed her two palms together, and pouted. “Amy, please? Just this
one more time?”
“And how many times have you said that already?” Raye asked, smiling
innocently.
“Shut up,” Mina stuck her tongue out, and then looked back at Amy again.
“Look, Ames, just this one more time, let me off! I really HAVE to get to that
audition...you don’t understand...” She turned away suddenly, her eyes distant.
Amy looked at Mina, and touched her arm. “If it means that much to you...”
“It does,” Mina confirmed.
Amy sighed. “Just this time.” She shook her head, and threw a helpless
look toward the other three.
Mina squealed, and gave Amy a big hug. “Thank you, thank you!” She looked
at her watch, and smiled apologetically at her friends. “I have to go. I’ll see you
guys tomorrow, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, she sprinted off.
Lita sighed. “She never changes.”
“Do we actually want her to?” Raye asked, staring at the back of the
running Mina.
Amy smiled. “No, I don’t, actually.”
“Me neither,” answered Lita, arching an eyebrow.
Serena was silent. She stared at something beyond the tall green trees.
“What about you, Serena?” Raye asked, and the other two also turned to
look at her.
*I wonder what Darien’s doing right now...* Serena continued to stare
blankly.
The three girls exchanged glances of knowing and concern. Raye took a
step closer to Serena, and laid hand on Serena’s arm. “Serena?” she called out.
“Huh? What?” Serena looked at Raye, a bit alarmed.
“What were you thinking about just then?” Raye asked softly, her violet
eyes full of sympathy.
Serena shook her head, smiling sadly. She looked away again. “Nothing,
really.”
Raye looked at the others, and made a “D” with her two hands. Amy and
Lita knew immediately what Raye was telling them. They sighed, and felt helpless that
they didn’t know what to do about their friend.
“Oh, um--I forgot. Mom wanted me home early today,” Serena suddenly said,
smiling a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Something about going shopping...”
“Shopping?” Lita grinned. “Bet you love that.”
“I do.” Serena answered, without emotion.
“Well, then...I’ll see you tomorrow?” Raye asked.
Serena nodded. “Yeah.” She gave each of them a small hug, and then walked
away, slowly.
The three watched her as she stepped away from them. “What do you think
about this, guys?”
“Think about what, Raye?”
“This Serena and Darien matter.”
Lita shrugged. “They’ll somehow overcome it.”
“It’s been two weeks. And whenever they see each other in the hallway,
they’ll make eye contact for one second, and then look away, immediately finding
something else to do.”
“Still,” Amy said with a smile, “I know that in the end, Serena and Darien
will be together.”
The words brought Raye a small hint of sadness, but she quickly shrugged
it off. *They belong together...I could tell from the way they look at each other
now...their eyes full of longing and...regret.* Her lips stretched into a smile.
“Yeah, you know what? I sort of knew from the first day that Serena would be the
girl to steal Darien’s whole heart.”
Lita looked at her friend, a little surprised. “Raye...I--well, I thought
you liked Darien. Very much...before.”
Raye smiled at Lita, and the looked down at the ground. “I did. But, it
was just a crush. I can overcome a crush just as easily as Mina can.”
Amy laughed at that.
I looked at the piece of paper in my hand. 5428324.
I looked up, and caught the glimpse of the red-haired girl who had just
flirtatiously handed that to me turning at a corner. I couldn’t help but smirk. What
was her name, anyway?
“What’s up, man?” I heard Andrew’s voice behind me.
“Andrew!” I knocked fists with him, and grinned. “Not much, anyway. Are
you in need of dates right now?”
Andrew raised an eyebrow, a lopsided grin on his face. There was something
in his eyes. “Why?”
I held up the piece of paper in my hand. “Wanna go out with her?”
Andrew laughed. He got the paper and then looked at me. “You don’t want
it, huh?”
I straightened up. The smile was gone from my face. “Whoa. You really
want it? I was just joking, you know. I mean--you and Rita...are so serious and stuff.”
He looked away, the smile disappearing from his face also. “We broke up.”
My eyes widened. “You serious?”
He looked at me, and now I recognized that the ‘something’ in his eyes
was pain. “Yeah.”
“What happened?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. After a few seconds, he spoke
again. “Remember that fight I told you about a few weeks ago? We never really made
up. I’m just real sorry that I lost her. She was like...the only sane thing in my life.”
I nodded in sympathy. “I’m really sorry, too. See what I mean? You
shouldn’t have waited a few weeks. Now...you lost her.”
He sighed sadly. “Listen...there’s something I really want to talk to you
about.”
I frowned, and he rolled his eyes.
“It’s not something horrible. Come on--let’s go talk somewhere.”
I followed him out to the school front lawn, and we found a shade under
a tree to stand on. “So?” I leaned against the trunk, stuffing my hands in my khaki
pants.
“You and Serena.”
I stiffened. “What about me and Serena?”
He looked away, focusing on something behind me. “It’s been a month now,
you know, since that ‘day’. What are you going to do about it?”
“Do about what?” I asked, even though I knew what he was getting at. It
was one subject I did not want to talk about. At all. I had thought about it
practically every night before I went sleep.
“I know the looks you throw in her direction every time you see her
somewhere in school. A mixture of emotions...longing, despair, sorrow, regret,
hope--”
“Is this what you wanted to talk about?” I cut in, perhaps a bit harshly.
He looked me straight in the eye. “I lost Rita, Darien. I’m one your
best buds, and I don’t want you to lose Serena. You said it yourself. After a few
weeks, if you don’t make up, you are going to lose her.”
I looked at the ground, feeling my heart twist painfully inside me. “I
already lost her,” I said quietly, without emotion.
“Wrong.”
He said it so firmly that I had to look at him once again.
“I see your looks, and I see hers, too. Talk to her, Darien...god knows
you’ve been wanting to for a nearly a month already.”
I stared at him, silent. Truth was, I did want to make up with her...
“I know you liked her since the moment you saw her, and--” He sighed.
“Come on--just because of one stupid fight, you are not even on speaking terms
anymore?”
I sighed deeply. “You don’t get it, Andrew.”
His eyes hardened as he looked at me. “Maybe not. But, honestly, Darien--
tell me, aren’t you ever going to talk to Serena again?”
I was silent. Was I going to talk to Serena again? Could I? Should I? I
shook my head slightly, feeling confused and weird. “Look...I might be still thinking
about her right now...but as time pass by, there won’t be any thought about her in my
head.” I hoped what I said was going to be true.
Andrew shook his head, and now he looked mad. “I may be your best bud...but
honestly, Darien, sometimes I just don’t get you. You had warned me a few weeks ago
about Rita...and I didn’t listen to you. Now, we broke up. Think about it.” Then, he
walked away.
I stood where I was, staring at the floor.
I ran a hand through my hair, and exhaled deeply.
I looked at my watch. Still had some time to kill before I had to be
home. I adjusted the strap of my backpack, and then stuffed my hands into my pant
pockets.
I continued to stare at the floor as I walked straight, thinking about
Serena. I could see her beautiful blonde hair, her big blue eyes, that soft, pink
lips...In an instant, I was back to where I had been before...fantasizing about her.
I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered how hard I had fallen for her. Back then,
I had been hoping to run into her around school, try to talk to her...get her to
actually pay attention to me.
A picture of a smiling Serena appeared in front of my eyes. I didn’t
think about how awful our fight had been, how her words had angered me...instead I
thought (for the millionth time) about how beautiful she was, how angry I had been
when I found that everyone, include Serena, had thought that Rod was the hero, was
the one who had kept her from getting hurt by Brad, how I felt when our lips first
touched...
Suddenly, my mental picture of Serena was replaced by a real, live Serena
who was facing me, her eyes looking into mine, full of sorrow. I rubbed my eyes,
just to be sure that what I was seeing was real.
But she was still there. Still standing about only five feet away.
Still looking into my eyes.
I realized that we had not made eye contact and not look away
immediately in almost a month. I was frozen on my spot, and she seemed to be on
hers, too.
We continued to stare at each other.
And then, she blinked.
Immediately, I looked away.
Not wanting to look at her again, I stiffly turned around and started
to walk, not caring that it was a totally the opposite of the direction of the
front door.
“Darien...”
I was totally stunned by the sound of her voice. I hadn’t heard that
voice in so long. At the moment, it sounded so broken, so helpless, so...
I turned around.
Serena was still there, tears were streaming down her cheeks now. “I’m
sorry...” And then, with a heartbreaking sob, she turned around and ran away.
I wanted to call out to her, to ask her to come back, but my throat was
dry. And when I finally found my voice, Serena was totally gone from my sight.
I sighed, and hit a locker with my left fist.
What had brought that on? Why now, all of a sudden, Serena chose to
utter an apology? And WHAT was she apologizing for, anyway? I shook my head. I had
to talk to her soon.
I looked at my watch. And then looked at the direction where she had
ran off.
I could only talk to her tomorrow.
“I need to get a life.”
Serena groaned and rolled over on her bed. She glanced at the red digits
on her clock. 2:49, it read. She sighed, and threw the sheets off. She stared at
the ceiling in the dark, not feeling one bit sleepy.
“I need to get a life,” she said to herself again.
“Apparently, Darien is way over me. And also very obviously, I’m not
over him.” She felt like crying again.
God, had she really done what she did this afternoon?
Did she actually bawl in front of Darien? Had she totally lost it?
For nearly a month, she had kept her cool. She had managed not to look
at him more than needed, not march right up to him whenever she saw him and threw
her arms around him. But today afternoon--the moment she had made eye contact with
him…she felt something in her, and just couldn’t help it anymore.
*He must think I’m a real dork now.* Serena wrapped her arms around her,
and a tear escaped her eye.
“Are we really over? Just like that?”
Suddenly, she had a startling thought. She and Darien...never really began.
They may have kissed once...but they never really made it official that they were
‘together.’ They never went out. And after that fight...what WERE they now?
She didn’t want to think about it anymore.
I had to find Serena.
After what happened yesterday, I felt like if I didn’t talk to her soon,
I’ll never actually be able to get the chance again.
She had looked so heartbroken...so sad...it almost mirrored the feelings
I had felt in myself. I grunted and balled my left hand into a fist. Where was she?
Through the whole morning, I had been unable to concentrate in any of
the classes...all I could think about was her face...how gorgeous it could look...
and how sad it SHOULDN’T look...
Now was lunch.
I recalled Andrew’s words, and remembered my own warning to him. Now,
I could use it for myself. Those few words that Serena had said yesterday gave the
start. I had to make up with her.
God, I hoped that Serena was in the cafeteria.
I pushed open the cafeteria double doors, and stepped inside. The
noise hit me right in the face, but I didn’t care about that now. I glanced around,
hoping to catch a glimpse of a pair of ‘meatballs’ hair.
It had been way too long, and way too ridiculous, now that I thought
about it.
I had thought about what happened with Serena and me ever since I got
home yesterday, and I thought about how if another nearly a month we weren’t even
speaking to each other...what would happen after two months? Half a year?
Somehow, I did not like the thought of not able to speak to Serena for
the whole year. Thinking about her yesterday made me remember, indeed, how hard I
had fallen for her...and I knew that I wasn’t ready to give up on us.
First, I had to find her and talk to her.
Suddenly I got excited. I realized that it was something I hadn’t felt
in a very long time. It was the same feeling that I had felt when I first met Serena,
when I had been thinking about talking to her, getting her to pay attention to me...
I smiled.
“Darien! Yo, buddy!”
Josh was at a table, waving a hand in the air to me. I nodded my chin
at him, acknowledging him, but shook my head. He pulled back his hand, and shrugged.
I looked around again, more carefully this time.
I froze when my gaze landed on two people by the far corner of the
cafeteria.
What the hell...
There was Serena. Her back was to me, but I could never forget the
meatballs hair. And she had her arms around someone.
And that someone was Rod.
I recognized him, too, from that shade and style of his hair.
I looked away almost as soon as my gaze landed on them. I felt disgusted
all of a sudden.
Serena was hugging Rod?
Rod? The guy who lied to everyone, Rod? Serena? The girl who just
yesterday had been tearful and heartbroken, was now hugging some other guy? And
none other than Rod?
I shook my head, feeling sick all of a sudden.
I started walking out of the cafeteria.
Why was she hugging Rod? What “good” thing did Rod do this time?
Did she forgive him for lying to everyone? Did he some really sickening
sweet things to her? Did he lie his way through, too? Honestly, though, I didn’t
want to believe that Serena forgave him. Because that meant that she didn’t really
care how I felt. How I would feel knowing that I did something but the credit was
taken by some other guy.
Maybe, maybe...after a month, she didn’t care anymore about how I felt.
Maybe...she never did.
Maybe...that tearful face was just an act.
Maybe...that was even a goodbye. Goodbye to us...forever.
I didn’t know how that thought got into my mind. I didn’t know that
there were many maybes to what just happened.
But I knew if I could help it, I wasn’t going to talk to Serena anytime
soon.
___________________________________________________________
Chapter 6 is going to be the last part to the story!
Oh, yeah...and I’m thinking of doing an epilogue...what do you think? ^___^
Moonieround - http://www6.ewebcity.com/moonieround
(
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine/4094/henra) (
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine/4094) (
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine) (
geocities.com/tokyo)