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Sound bytes at the end of the experiment
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Sound bytes at the end of the experiment
(Title Screen: Princess Snake's Hospitality)
Goku: (as he sprints, panting) I think I'm finally back where I was when I fell!
(Perky music as the street cleaner from previous episodes shows up in his cleaning machine)
Guy: (spotting Goku heading right for him) Now what? If that guy doesn't slow down I'm going to have to clean him off the back of this baby.
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Guy: (waving frantically out the window) Hey, slow down, ya jerk!
(But Goku doesn't slow down. At the last second, he does a grand jete over the top of the cleaner)
(The driver turns to watch Goku) That's the same guy I ran into the other day! Turkey. He should get a ticket for reckless running. (Turning back, the driver screams as he sees a sharp curve ahead. The machine hits the edge, teeters, then falls off the edge of Snake Way.) Whoa, baby!
Announcer: High above the earth, at the top of Karin tower --
Announcer: --a group of select warriors have gathered at the bidding of Kami.
Yamcha: I'm glad to see you guys were called up. This is great. Am I psyched!
(Camera pans to TIEN, a tall bald guy with heavy brows and an extra eye smack dab in his forehead)
Tien: Me, too!
Tien: The training should be excellent.
Yajoribe: I bet the food's good.
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Krillin (disgusted) We're not here for a barbecue, Yajoribe.
(Everyone looks toward a white building with a gold dome. We get our first look at CHOAZU, standing next to Tien)
(Panting sounds are heard. Goku continues down Snake Way)
Goku: Man, King Yema really knows his fruit!
Goku: I may make it in time to King Kai's place! Wha--?
(He pulls up next to a purple carpet, looks at a multi-story pagoda)
Goku: Hey, check this out!
Goku: This place is fit for a King. Looks like there's no one home.
(Suddenly, the pagoda morphs into a giant snake head. The snake's mouth opens and swallows him whole. Screaming, Goku is sucked down a long hall with gold and red tapestries.)
(Goku, screaming) Whoa, man! Wow, this is crazy!
(Goku falls through a snake-shaped trap door and lands on his back. A blue-skinned girl strikes a small, hand-held gong)
Girl1: Summon the Princess! A visitor just dropped in to see her.
Goku: (looking around in a daze) Huh?
(Elsewhere, double doors open. Another woman stops in front of a throne)
Girl2: Excuse me, Princess. You have a visitor.
(A tea cup is being raised to green lips, but the Princess pauses)
Princess: What, a visitor? Are you sure? Ooooh, what fun! It's been so long...
(We see the back of the Princess as she walks to a window. She has high-piled red hair and is wearing a fur stole) He seems nice enough. Let's take a better look. (She gets a clear view of Goku's face) Oh, yes, and he's handsome, too! (There's a close up of her red eyes, in which little Goku's are reflected).
(The Princess enters the main room. Girl1 hits the gong again)
Girl1: Her Highness has arrived!
(The good look at 'Her Highness' shows she's a tall, thin, blue-skinned femme-fatale with pointy ears and high heels that click against the floor as she walks toward Goku.)
Goku (startled): Whoa, King Kai's a woman?
Goku: Sure enough! And cute, too.
Princess: (blushing) Oh, my! Aren't you bold!
Goku: Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness.
Girl2: Look at Her Highness. I haven't seen her so keen about a guest since King Yema dropped by.
Her Highness: (reminiscing) What a hunk of a man. Hard to believe a thousand years have gone by.
Goku: Oh, really? The real reason I'm here is for your special training so I can help my friends.
Princess: (surprised) Oh, training! (She hides her face in the fur stole as she blushes again.) I'm flattered.--
(The Princess grabs Goku by the hands as pseudo-tango music begins to play. Startled, Goku is dragged through the steps of the dance. He giggles nervously.)
Princess: Are you sure you haven't had any training before? You're a natural. (She looks up at him coquettishly) Next time I'll let you lead. How does that sound?
Goku: (blinking) This is so strange. So this is the famous martial art of King Kai. (He looks at her sideways during a dip). Now I get it...King Kai is testing me! She wants me to find a weak moment and try to attack. (Spinning, Goku seizes Her Highness and throws her to her back.) Wow, I didn't know King Kai was so weak.
Girl1: That's not King Kai!
Girl1: She's Princess Snake! She won the Otherworld Beauty Contest. She's known for her beauty all over the land!
Goku: Gosh, I thought you were King Kai. I'm sorry, goodbye.
Princess: (as Goku tries to sprint for the door) Oh, don't go, please! Stay a while.
Goku: I'm kinda in a hurry, ma'am.
Princess: Please stay for dinner
(Goku's stomach growls)
Goku: Dinner?
Goku: It's been so long since I've been hungry since I ate a piece of King Yema's special fruit. (He fondly recalls eating the fruit)
Goku: It's been over three months now. I'm working up a pretty good appetite. I'll stay, sure!
Princess: (clasping her hands together) Girls, I want you to prepare a banquet fit for a king!
(Cut to the kitchen, where lots of chopping is going on)
Girl1: I think the Princess is really enamored of this one.
Girl2: I hear he's just adorable!
(The Princess peeks in)
Princess: Girls, it's been so electrifying having a man around, I want him to stay just a little while longer. Get it? Our guest won't be leaving. You'll make sure of that, won't you?
Girl: Sure, no problem. I'll just grind up some sleep grass and put it in the soup. (She yawns and lays her head down on the counter) He'll sleep like a little baby.
Princess: It's crude, but it sounds like it should work. All right, good.
(On Earth: It's raining. There's a slow pan over the darkened landscape. Two lizards on a rock seem very interested in what's going on inside a lighted cave.)
(In the cave, Gohan is lying on his stomach in front of a roaring fire, kicking his bare feet)
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Gohan: (humming)
(Gohan is drawing in the dirt with a pointed rock. There's a close-up of some algebraic expressions. An echoing voice-over is heard.)
Chi-chi's voice: Solving these algebra problems is good training for solving bigger problems in real life.
(Gohan has a blurry flash-back to his home. Chi-chi is leaning over his chair as he does his homework.)
Chi-chi: It takes the same sort of ingenuity to solve all problems.
(Nearby, Goku is doing push-ups from a handstand)
Goku: That's right, son. Keep it up!
(In the cave, Gohan erases his algebra homework, yawns, and puts his head down.)
Gohan: I need to figure out a way to get back home.
(Outside, Piccolo is standing on a narrow precipice under a stormy sky. Lightning flashes, highlighting his face.)
Piccolo: (screams, and screams, and screams, then grimaces, then slimes over, then has another Piccolo pull out of him)
Piccolo2: Fancy meeting you here. We'll go for three hours, then we check on the kid.
(The two Piccolos battle. They slid down the side of a mountain in tandem)
(They sprint in circles around each other. They hop from mountain peak to mountain peak, occasionally throwing punches at each other. One Piccolo gets the drop on the other one, firing an energy blast.)
(The threatened Piccolo dodges multiple blasts, then gets off one of his own that seems to hit. Black smoke curls up from a scorched landscape.)
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(The other Piccolo is seen through the smoke. It's his turn to dodge energy blasts as he blurs in and out of sight. Leaping over a barrage, he points one finger and fires. Piccolo tilts his head to the side, contemptuously, as the blast goes over one shoulder.)
(The two stand next to each other and stare)
(Meanwhile, at Kami's place)
Kami: You all know the situation.
Kami: Each of you has been chosen because each of you has a special talent that can save the Earth.
Kami: (over a close up of Krillin training) Krillin, you've trained extensively with Goku. (Close up of Tien splitting into three) Tien, your multi-form technique is essential.
Kami: (over close-ups of Yamcha and Choazu) Yamcha, your energy manipulation techniques are admirable, as are yours, Chaozu. (Close-up of Yajoribe eating) Even you, Yajoribe, can contribute to make to this effort.
Kami: It doesn't matter which of you is the greatest.
Kami: Throw out your differences! Feel the approaching force! Know that it is greater than any you have ever encountered!
(Back at Princess Snake's place, Goku is sitting at the dining table.)
Princess: Your dinner is served.
(Girls 1 and 2 bring in several platters)
Princess: There's braised crocodile head, sauteed paw of bear, mussels gratin and roasted turkey if you have any room left.
Goku: Wow, yum!
Princess: Go ahead and get started.
Goku: Gee, thank you!
(Goku shovels food into his maw. The Princess and her servants stare)
Goku: (stuffing face) You sure you don't want any?
Princess: No, dear, we're fine.
(Goku polishes off his meal. One of the girls gives the Princess a sly look)
Princess: Won't you have mine? I'm so full.
Goku: You're full? You didn't even eat. But, thanks! (He grabs her food and chows down).
Goku: (finally finished) Wow, boy, oh boy! Hmmm. That hit the spot!
Girl1: Shall I prepare a bed? You must be sleepy after all that.
Goku: I guess I am, a little. But I have to go.
Princess: But dessert's almost ready -- isn't it, Keellie?
Keellie: Um, yes. Dessert. Right.
Goku: I really have to go.
(Goku gets grabbed by the girls)
Keellie: You haven't had your bath. You need to wash up.
Girl2: That's right. King Kai gets offended by dirty people.
(Goku sniffs at his jumpsuit)
Goku: I guess I am a little smelly. I'd better wash up.
(Cheers from the girls. The Princess smiles smugly.)
(On Earth, one of the Piccolos is floating, muttering to himself)
Piccolo: Where'd he go? I know he's around here someplace. Where would I be, if I were him?
(He whirls. On a nearby mountain peak, the other Piccolo flings an energy strike. There's a scream as the mountain vaporizes.)
Piccolo2: I think I got him...
Piccolo2: (looking up) Guess not!
Piccolo: Special beam cannon attack!
(The whirling beam of energy blows more real estate up)
Piccolo2: The bum almost got me.
(Meanwhile, Goku is relaxing in a hot lava pool.)
Goku: (sigh) This feels great.
(The Princess, heels, fur stole and all, teeters out to check on him.)
Princess: How's the bath coming, Goku?
Goku: (calling) Fine! A little hot, but nice.
Princess: Those are hot springs you're sitting in. The temperature stays at a constant 300 degrees.
Princess: A normal man would have boiled alive by now. (She waves at two of her servants, who are sitting in a glass-encased control room nearby)
Princess: But I had a feeling you can handle it.
Girl1: She's ready!
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(The girls work controls that move an elaborate piece of satellite-like apparatus into position)
(There's a rumbling noise from the equipment. The sky goes dark.)
Goku: Wow, did you see that? I just looked up and it became night all of a sudden.
Princess: Goku, look at the stars. Can you feel the excitement? I sure can. Please say you can. (Long silence) Are you still there? (The Princess steps out from behind the rocks to see an empty pool.) Goku? Where are you?
Princess: He was boiled! It was too hot after all!
(Goku shoots out of the lava, where he's been taking an underwater swim. Shrieking, the Princess turns away)
Princess: Goku! I thought your goose was cooked!
(Meanwhile, the two Piccolos have closed in close-quarters combat. Suddenly little lightning bolts cover their eyes; they pause).
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Piccolo: Time's up. Let's go.
(The two Piccolos merge with less ooze this time. Piccolo flies off.)
(Goku bursts through some double doors, stretching and grinning.)
Goku: Man, I feel great! I'm ready!
Princess: Goku, please don't go! Girls, he's leaving! Look sharp, now!
(Two servants grab his arms, one grabs him around the neck. Goku looks mildly concerned.)
Goku: But I have to go! You don't understand, my family and all my friends are counting on me to be back in time.
Girl: Then at least let us perform a sacred dance in honor of your family and friends.
(From the floor rises a round stage, decorated on the side with a snake. Two more of the Princess' servants are on the platform. They carry really, really big swords in both hands.)
Girl: It's the ritual dance of good family fortune.
Goku: (sighing as he sits down) Oh, I guess I'll watch it...
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Girl: (brightly) Goody! I'll just make you a fresh-squeezed juice!
(The girls with the swords start moving in exaggerated slow motion)
(As Goku watches, one of the servants whispers to the Princess)
Girl: We'll put in enough sleepy grass in his juice to knock out an elephant.
(The girls with the swords continue moving their swords in exaggerated slow motion. Goku watches, bored)
(One of the servants brings Goku a glass)
Girl: Here you go, fresh juice! Yum.
Goku: (suddenly eager and cheerful) Hey, thanks!
Goku: (After gulping down the juice) That was good!
(The girls with the swords continue moving their swords in exaggerated slow motion.)
(Goku shows no signs of passing out.)
Girl: Who is this guy? How can he be awake after all that sleepy grass?
(As Goku watches, the girls with the swords continue moving in exaggerated slow motion. They begin to distort. Goku blinks and rubs his eyes. His head nods once -- twice -- three times before he conks out, drooling.)
Girl: Goodness! He should be out for three days after all that!
Princess: He's extraordinary, isn't he? He's so simple, yet sweet.
Princess: I've never had a pet like him before...
Goku (muttering, still drooling): Gohan...
Princess: I think he's dreaming--
Princess: Bring the dream mirror!
(One of the servants brings a round mirror. She holds it to reflect Goku's face in the mirror.)
Princess: If you want to know about a man, just watch his dreams.
Goku: (muttering in his sleep, still drooling) Chi-chi...Gohan...
(The mirror shows Chi-chi and Gohan, laughing and waving)
Princess: Now I'm jealous. Who's this woman and kid?
Girl: It must be the family he was talking about earlier.
Princess: This one is too devoted to tame. I'll just eat him. (On the last word, her face morphs. Suddenly she has pointed teeth, diagonal eyes and very thick eyebrows)
(The camera pans over her servants, all of whom now look demonic.)
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Girl1: I'll have some, too.
Girl2: Yes, please share. I know we let King Yema get away, but that was a long time ago and he's the only one who ever did.
(Meanwhile, Goku dreams of Gohan doing his homework in the kitchen as Chi-chi watches.)
Dream Chi-chi: All right, Gohan. I'd like for you to do this next problem all by yourself, okay?
Dream Gohan: Then can I go out to play, Mom?
Dream Chi-chi: We'll see...
(The door swings open. Both Gohan and Chi-chi gape at the heavily-shadowed figures of Nappa and Vegeta)
(Laughing evilly, the heavily-shadowed figures advance on Chi-chi and Gohan.)
Gohan: Mom! Where's Dad?
(Goku snaps awake. The faces of the Princess and her servants all smooth back into pleasant masks.)
Goku: Wha--? Chi-chi! (He looks around frantically, then calms down.) Oh, I was dreaming. I don't even remember dozing off. (He wipes at his eyes)
Princess: (spitefully, to servant) You said three days!
Girl: (nervously) Oops.
Goku: Oh, man. I have to get going!
Princess: (rushing up to him) I'm sure Chi-chi and Gohan are fine!
Goku: Hey, that's strange. My wife and my son, how do you know their names?
Princess: Why--you told me, at dinner.
Goku: (brushing by her as he angrily stomps toward the exit) No, I didn't! I would have remembered!
Princess: Darn you. (She morphs back into the heavy-brows sharp-toothed form)
(As he nears the doors, Goku spins around, assuming a martial arts stance).
Goku: (warningly) Stay away from me...
Princess: You're all ready in much deeper than you think! (A forked tongue slithers out of her mouth.)
Princess: It's true I wasn't able to deceive your heart. But your eyes--what about your eyes?
Princess: Have they been deceived? (She laughs maniacally, raising one hand. Her hair fluffs as she and her attendants vanish from sight.)
(All around Goku, the large hall is warping. The walls begin to curve around him.)
Goku: Oh, no! I'm in a--
Princess' voice: (laughing) In a snake! You're in the belly of a snake. My belly! And watch out for my digestive juices! They're hot enough to melt even the toughest of men!
(Goku is, indeed, standing in a pink tunnel that is oozing yellow fluid. He begins to jump from foot to foot, yelping, as the acid works through his boots.
Goku: This is no joke! Time to vamoose!
(Goku flies through the narrow tunnel, dodging spurting acid as he goes.)
(He heads toward a pinprick of light, bursting into the pink-tinged sky)
Goku: Yessss!
(Hard on his heels, a large snake snaps at him, barely missing his feet)
Goku: Whew, that was close! (He looks over his shoulder.) Huh?!
(He is being followed by a large, willowy serpent.)
Princess: You rat!
(The snake pursues Goku, snapping at his feet and screeching in anger. The snake breathes fire, getting Goku in the seat of his pants)
Goku: YEOW! Ew, ah, ee! (He rubs his backside.) She's asking for it! Ka-me-ha-ma--
Goku: Wait, I can't. She gave me all that nice food. (He calls back to the serpent) Hey, how about we call a truce? All I really want is to get back on the road to King Kai!
Princess: You dolt! I'll chase you for all eternity!
(She breaths more fire, barely missing Goku.)
Goku: Oh.
Goku: Wait...I know...
(Looking determined, Goku flies in loops. The serpent follows his every twist and turn, realizing too late she's been tied into a knot.)
Goku: Gotcha.
Princess: (screams) You--
Goku: Well, bye! Love to stay, but it looks like you're all tied up.
(He flies away)
Princess: Call me...please!
(Meanwhile, on Kami's platform, Tien and Krillin are sparring.)
(Yamcha fights off Choazu, then spars with Yajoribe)
Kami: (watching from a distance) These men are full of fire--
Kami:--but it's not enough! Goku, we need you!
Announcer: As Goku continues to race toward King Kai's, but can he make it before the Saiyans arrive? Stay tuned for scenes from the next Dragonball-Z!
Announcer: Join us on the next Dragonball-Z as Gohan's harrowing adventures lead him back home--and a decision must be made. On the next Drabonball-Z! (Mike and the 'bots exit)
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