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Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters
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In other words - please don't sue me, I need my
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****************************************************************
Smiling Tears
Part V
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)
****************************************************************
absolute truth simply cannot be told
it's something one must seek and learn alone
carry a secret too deep
echoes in my soul voicing truths i keep
given right to know
access knowledge i hold
bring the legend to the people
let's take it slowly
do not be afraid
if you fall i'll come to your aid
there's no real hurry
we'll do it your way
do not judge your progress in days
absolute truth simply cannot be told
it's something one must seek and learn alone
break free from the foreordained destiny
take fate in hand to rewrite history
- "changing fate"
-- Fuugen Shinjin -> Taikoubou
================================================================
GYOKUIZUMISAN, KINKASUMI DOU
The warm, fragrant scent of oolong tea languidly moved through
the air.
"Couldn't sleep either?" Gyokutei Shinjin set one mug of tea
before Youzen, and settled himself down with another.
"... hai, shishou." The tenzai-doushi revived fingers numbed
with cold by putting them about his mug.
//Don't break his heart, Fuugen.//
Gyokutei watched the subdued cast of dark-violet eyes, wondering
if there was the need to ask. Wondering if he would be answered,
if he did. Wondering if he had the right to ask.
//... don't worry, I won't.//
He was afraid. Not for himself - never for himself - but for
Youzen. He was afraid for Youzen, who needed him. Youzen, the
child who /needed/ him.
No one had ever needed him like Youzen did. Not even Kanume.
/Kanume ... /
Kanume was not strong in the physical sense, but she had been
the mental pillar that he held on to when he doubted himself.
//... were you not afraid?//
//Yes. I was afraid for your life.//
//Were you not afraid for yourself?//
//No. Should I have been?//
Kanume had been the strength of his heart.
She had never been afraid for herself - only for him, and for
their child. He had loved her, everything about her, all of her,
but he had not understood her.
//... it's too dangerous. You must not follow.//
//I know that there will be danger.
I know that I may be a burden to you.
I know that there is no such thing as a 'safe' place.
So ... I would rather be in danger with you, than without.
I will follow.//
He had not understood her courage until he met Youzen. Until he
understood why she loved him. Until he understood ...
... he had been the one who needed her.
Kanume had been a strong woman, a soul as stern and unyielding
as the forged metal of the blade he wields. Kanume had never
needed anyone.
Kanume had not needed anyone, except to be needed.
Kanume had not needed anyone, but she had chosen to need him -
had chosen to answer his need of her.
/Is love only this feeling, this need?/
He understood, finally. He understood her. He understood her
need to be /needed/, the need to love and be loved in return.
He understood the need when he looked into the loneliness of
deep violet eyes - the eyes of a child who never had the luxury
of being one.
The eyes of a child with the same need, unrealized. The eyes of
a child who needed love, who needed to be loved, who needed
someone to love.
A child who needed /him./
Violet eyes, the aching need he answered. Violet eyes that had
filled his need for affection, filled the void that Kanume had
left in her passing.
Kanume, who asked him to live.
/Kanume .../
Even when dying, Kanume had not needed him with the desperation
that Youzen did.
No, Kanume had not needed him like this child.
//Don't break his heart, Fuugen.//
This child, who was - who /is/ the center of his universe, his
reason for existing. This child who he loved as if a child of
his own flesh.
This child, who now needed the kind of love which he had not.
Youzen needed the kind of love he could not and would not give.
//... don't worry, I won't.//
He could not help but worry. Despite the agreeable appearance,
Fuugen was not an easy person to love. Not for anyone, and
especially not for Youzen.
He had to know.
"What did Fuugen-shitei speak to you about?"
"I ... don't want to talk about it, shishou." Violet eyes
refused to look at him.
Gyokutei was not surprised by the reluctant answer.
/Fuugen, if you are only toying with him .../
The sennin's fingers tightened about his mug, a coldness
spreading in his bones - a coldness that the radiating heat
could not drive away.
/... if you are only toying with him .../
He was not afraid for himself. He was only afraid for Youzen.
"Shishou," Youzen felt something amiss with the silence. "Is
something wrong?"
"No." Gyokutei smiled at his student. "I just wondered if he
told you about -"
/... told me about?/ Youzen's heart leapt nervously, hoping.
"- the Houshin Keikaku." His shishou's words cut the faint
thread of hope.
"... Houshin Keikaku?" Gyokutei could see the disappointment,
and the pain in the expression bit as deeply as if it was his
own. "No, what is this ... this Houshin Project?"
The least he could do was to give the child something else to
think about - something other than a certain Jyuu Ni Sen.
"You know the situation the Ningenkai is in right now," Youzen
nodded, his interest piqued. "The Houshin Project is the project
which will remedy that situation ..."
================================================================
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - THE AFTERMATH
"I- itai..." It hurt.
He opens his eyes, knowing that it would be sunrise in another
hour. He always did have an impeccable time sense.
"... itai ..." He hurt.
He tries to move, and the soreness that permeates his body makes
itself obvious to him.
"... itai." He hurt all over.
Bound over his head, his arms were stiff and growing cramped
from the weight of his own body. His skin felt raw, red scald
marks all over pale flesh the visual confirmation.
Palpable, the salt in the air, the scent of sweat, the scent of
fluids. Sweetness hung in the air, the scent of burnt sugar, the
scent of peaches.
Apart from the aching pangs that tugged at him everywhere, he
was sticking to the bedsheets. Wincing, he makes a face at the
various stains - gold and brown and white - smelling faintly of
sugar and crushed fruit and other moisture.
They were going to be difficult to get out of the linen.
His hair were falling into his eyes, damp and plastered to his
head in many places - the tousled blue locks rebellious and
uncooperative even if he was free to attempt taming them.
He sighs, shivering, as the cool wind between dawn and night
steals into the room. Murmuring, the wind was echoed by the
sole other occupant of his bed.
Sleeping, dark brown hair spilled across a corner of untouched
white sheets, the child-like face peaceful in slumber.
If he could have, he would have ruffled the hair, running his
fingers through the rich auburn strands. If he could have, he
would have traced the shell-like edge of the ear, and come to
rest on a smooth cheek.
If he could have, he would have thrown an arm around the waist
possessively, and teased the sleeper back into wakefulness.
He could not have done any of those things, tied up as he was
at the moment. He smiled, amused by his own thoughts.
He watched as the other wrapped the blankets tighter about, and
turned over in sleep.
The wind was laughing.
The wind laughed as it roved across his nakedness and reminded
him. The wind reminded him that this was also the unscrupulous
thief who stole all the blankets, leaving him to its mercies.
He only had himself to blame, really.
Softly, Fuugen Shinjin began to laugh.
================================================================
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - IT BEGINS ...
"Get over here." Sitting on the bed, Taikoubou grinned evilly at
Fuugen.
"Hai," Fuugen sat down beside the doushi. "Bou-chan."
"Put your arms together and hold them forward." Pulling out a
coil of rope, Taikoubou ordered.
"Wait," Fuugen smiled - it seemed that Bou-chan was not as
imaginative as usual tonight. "I have something better." [1]
".... what are you up to?" Watching Fuugen rummage about the
closet, Taikoubou began to get suspicious.
"I was saving this for a special occasion." Cold steel irons,
the links of chain weighing heavy in his hands as Fuugen laid
them there. "Does Bou-chan like them?"
"... I don't even want to know WHY you have these." [2]
"I almost forgot." Something landed in the palm of his hand.
A key.
"This is the only key to these irons." Fuugen was smiling too
innocently.
"... Fuugen, is this -" Taikoubou held up the key. "Is this the
ONLY key that could open these things?"
"Yes, Bou-chan." Fuugen nodded, smiling sweetly, and allowed
Taikoubou to clap an iron on one wrist. "It is."
"... you swear?" Taikoubou jerked the chain toward the bedposts,
fastening and winding it there.
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
"Hmph." Fuugen wasn't lying. "Then ... just making sure ..."
*clink clink*
The key bounced against the closed door of the bedroom before
falling to the floor.
"You'll have to beg me to unlock you, now." Clapping the iron on
the end to Fuugen's other wrist, Taikoubou smirked.
"That's the idea, Bou-chan." Fuugen agreed. "... but why aren't
you using the leg irons?"
Did this idiot think that he wouldn't DARE do anything to him?
"Nah." Taikoubou chucked the remaining chain aside. "Too ...
restrictive, for what I have in mind."
Fuugen only smiled.
/We'll see who's smiling at the end./
/We'll see./
================================================================
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - THE AFTERMATH
Sweat beaded into his eyes as he strained against the chains.
Fingers spread, hand flexing, straining for -
Finally, his efforts were rewarded with the sound of joints
separating.
It hurt.
The right thumb dangled uselessly, dislocated at the base. The
hand slipped easily out of the irons, and he held his right arm
steady as he repeated the process with his left hand.
It hurt, the pain.
He fell to his side, body half-held up by an elbow. Using his
own weight as leverage, he pushed. He could feel the sweat crawl
over furrowed brows as he relocated the joints of both thumbs.
It hurt, the pain - but pain was a reminder of the state of
living.
Gingerly moving his fingers, he was satisfied that all was well.
Even the various aches in his body felt good - he catalogued
them, every single one. Every single one which he would exact
repayment.
It hurt, but the pain was not only a reminder, but also a pleasure.
There was a tangy sweetness in his mouth. Tongue darts out
curiously, tasting blood. Sweet, the taste of blood. He had not
noticed that before. Nor noticed when it had happened.
He gets up.
The floor was cold under his bare feet, the air cool against
his body, damp with sweat. He crossed the hard, smooth stone,
a few woven rugs lending brief warmth, and bent down.
Fingers picked up a small gleaming object.
The key to the irons.
"... a key isn't the only way to get out of chains, Bou-chan."
================================================================
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - HOT & COLD
"What are those, Bou-chan?"
"Can't you tell?"
"... it looks like you raided the pantry."
"BINGO. You get a prize."
"... what are you doing?!"
"Having dessert."
"... itai! ... it's /hot/, Bou-chan!"
"I know that. It's sugar syrup - hey, don't move!"
"... eeeah! ... you'll scald the skin! (Bou-chan - my clean
bedsheets!)"
"... not with this. HOLD STILL. (So what? Get rid of it with
Taikyokufuin or something. You can do it.)"
"... the fruit ices from the fridge?! (Do you have any idea how
much more energy doing that takes than just washing it?!)"
"You win another prize. (ehehehehhehehehehheh)"
"... yiiieeee~!"
"... better now? (yum. Just as I thought - the two of them taste
GOOD together)"
"... *pant* ... Bou-chan ... did you ... *pant* ... heat the ...
/whole/ jar?"
"Yup. AND got all the fruit ices from the fridge right /here/."
"... (it's going to be a long night ... ^^;) ...."
"... I'm not stupid enough to leave any for you. (MWAHAHAHHA)"
"... Bou-chan ..." Fuugen gave him a soulful look. "Aren't you
afraid that Mokutaku might hear me scream?"
"... blackmail, eh?" Taikoubou sneered. "If he would have, he
would have a LONG time ago."
"... Bou-chan, I think you should reconsider ..."
"... you think I didn't know that you soundproofed ALL the rooms
here?"
Fuugen wore the guilty expression of one who was found out.
"Awww, here. Have a peach fruit ice." Taikoubou popped it in
Fuugen's mouth. "Don't drop it."
"... mmmmph. (...can't refuse him anything, can't deny him
anything ...|||||bbbb)"
How did that saying go again? Revenge is a dish best eaten cold?
Perhaps.
"MWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. (You never thought I'd do something like
this, didya? Fuugen-who-only-THINKS-he-knows-me-too-well~)"
/Revenge is soooo~ sweet./
================================================================
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - THE AFTERMATH
*CLICK*
Abrupt and sudden, heavy weights about his wrists startled him
awake. Well, if not that, the cold hand tickling below his
waistline would have done the same.
"... FUUGEN?!" Taikoubou could not believe his eyes. "How did
you -"
"Oh, how did I get this?" Fuugen gave the key in his hand a
puzzled look, and shrugged.
"Don't act as if you don't know!" Taikoubou felt like exploding.
"That would be telling, ne?" Smiling, Fuugen dangled the key in
front of Bou-chan's nose.
"... is it morning already?!"
Why, oh WHY didn't he go back to his own room in Gyokukyo Kyu?
/Sometimes my practice of laziness bites me in the ass. (|||b)/
"Yes, it is." Fuugen's smile broke what little remained of
Taikoubou's hope that it was still 'night' and hence THAT
PROMISE still held. "I could just let you go ..."
Wisely, Taikoubou said nothing.
/You'd do as you please ANYWAY, you bastard!/
Unfortuneately, his expression spoke volumes to Fuugen.
"... but you're leaving soon." Fuugen cupped chin into hands,
sighing dramatically. "And who knows when I'd be able to enjoy a
repeat of last night's performance again?"
"You -" Taikoubou was flabbergasted. "- you PERVERT. You ENJOYED
that and you're still taking it out of my hide - what kind of a
masochistic bastard are you?!"
"A sadistic one." The smiling reply was prompt.
Taikoubou did not know whether to laugh of cry.
"Relax, Bou-chan." Fuugen laughed. "I only said that because you
have the most /interesting/ expressions when you think I'm about
to retaliate."
Given past experiences, the doushi knew he could breathe a sigh
of relief at those words. Fuugen usually told the truth. USUALLY
being the keyword.
Unfortuneately, to be certain of that, he had to provoke Fuugen.
/Okay, here goes nothing .../
"... relax?" Taikoubou glared ineffectually, rattling chains.
"You think I can relax in these things? And you think I don't
know that you're just trying to get me off my guard so that you
can-mmmph!"
/No, not AGAIN-/
"... that was nice." Fuugen commented, after breaking the kiss
for the necessity of air.
Strange. Fuugen should have followed up after that kiss. It was
NOT like Fuugen to taunt him so obviously, unless -
- unless Fuugen wanted him to be angry.
Well, he /was/, but that was beside the point!
"I KNEW IT." Taikoubou had never felt so righteous in his self-
justification. "YOU LIKED IT. You LIKE it when I'm tormenting
you. You LIKE to create excuses to be on the receiving end - so
you just - UGH!"
"You said that, Bou-chan, I didn't." Fuugen pointed out,
standing and pulling the linen bedsheets out from under
Taikoubou. "Besides, I really don't have the energy ..."
He trailed off, covering a yawn.
/Serves you right, you nymphomaniac./
Taikoubou felt better, but not by much.
"... unless you'd like me to."
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO!"
"I know." Fuugen bundled the miscellaneous pieces of 'damaged'
bedsheets, pillows, pillow-covers and whatnot up. "Be right
back."
He was naked, freezing his ass blue, and Fuugen was going to
leave him chained up like this without even a flimsy sheet? [3]
"Fuugen, don't you DARE leave me here like this!"
"Got to do laundry, Bou-chan. Should have thought of that before
you decided to massacre the linen, ne?'
"FUUGEN, GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE!!!"
The only answer Taikoubou got was lilting laughter, followed by
the sound of the bedroom door closing.
================================================================
GYOKUIZUMISAN, KINKASUMI DOU
Youzen did not get much sleep last night. Between Fuugen
Shinjin's words and what Gyokutei-shishou had to say about the
upcoming Houshin Project ... there was much to think about.
It was not restful when he did sleep. He had vague, half-formed
dreams which teased and tantalized him with promises of
unfulfilled desire. Dreams that he could not remember, waking.
When Youzen went to make himself breakfast, there was only a
note waiting for him in the empty kitchen.
//Youzen:
I will be over at Kengensan Kinkou Dou with Taiitsu
Shinjin should you need me.
-- Gyokutei //
His shishou must have known that he would not be in the mood for
company this morning.
"... thank you." Youzen sighed. "Gyokutei-shishou."
It was not that he did not appreciate the fact that his shishou
understood him so well. It was simply that -
Simply what?
/... simply that I am lonely./
Yes, it was true. He loved his shishou like a father, he talked
to his shishou as if a friend - but he had felt something
lacking, recently. He needed someone more than a father or a
friend. He needed ...
Youzen tried not to think past that thought. Recently, there were
subjects that he could not discuss with his shishou.
/... like Fuugen Shinjin, perhaps?/
Youzen did not want to think about the smiling sennin. Instead,
he moved to the balcony, watching the sunrise as he ate.
In the pure air of the Senninkai, there was nothing obstructing
the view as the barest hint of rose-colored light appeared in
the distance. The bright spark grew, blending violet and crimson
and warm orange hues in a spectacular display of fiery colours.
As a finale, the sun burst out of the rainbow clouds gathered at
the skyline, spilling gold over the Konronsan landscape.
/... beautiful./
It was going to be a beautiful morning. The sky was a clear
endless blue that reminded him of -
No. He would not think of /him/. He would think of something
else.
/... The Houshin Project./
What his shishou told him was ... fascinating, to say the least.
/It would be a test of my considerable abilities./
Youzen did not doubt for one moment that /he/ would be the one to
execute the project. Who else could?
/Even for me, it would not be easy. To take on powerful sendou
like Dakki, Shinkouhyou, and Bunchuu ... sennin and doushi who
are said to equal the Three Great Sennin in their own right./
Yes, it would be a difficult test to succeed, even for a prodigy
like himself.
Idly, he wondered if he should accept the Project. Such a project
would inevitably lead to warfare, and battles would not only
involve mortals, but also Immortals.
/After all, I am the only person with a chance of succeeding./
And if - no, /when/ he succeeded ...
/... it would make Fuugen Shinjin take another look at you,
perhaps?/
He told his conscience to shut up. It didn't work. He gave up,
and let his thoughts wandered where they will.
//Youzen-kun, see you tomorrow.//
Was it an invitation? And if it was, what was it an invitation
of? ... what HAD Fuugen Shinjin meant by those words?
/What should I do?/
//You know where I live, Youzen-kun.//
Shouldn't he have been angry that the sennin had sounded so
/certain/?
"What do you want me to do?" Youzen knew the answer as soon as
he asked himself out loud.
================================================================
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU
Mokutaku wondered at the stony silence at breakfast. Well, stony
silence on his susuu's part. He sneaked a look at Taikoubou,
whose face was positively BLACK as he stirred half the contents
of the sugar tin into his bowl of millet porridge.
His shishou, however, was his usual bright and cheerful self.
The doushi put a spoonful of millet porridge to his lips,
blowing on the hot porridge before eating. It seemed to him that
his susuu was sulking.
He wondered what had happened between the two last night.
"Bou-chan, would you like a bun?" Fuugen passed the dish of
steamed buns over. "There's -"
Without answering, Taikoubou grabbed for the biggest bun and
began ripping into it savagely.
/Susuu looks like he wishes that bun was shishou ... (|||bbb)/
"... Bou-chan, that one has spicy fermented bean curd spread in
it." [4]
Face red and eyes watering, Taikoubou dropped the bun after one
huge bite and ran for the kitchen sink.
"... umm, shishou?"
Mokutaku decided to ask a question while the first-ranking
student of Genshitenson-sama himself held his head under the
faucet, hastily gulping down water.
"Hai, Mokutaku?" Fuugen picked up the dropped bun, and began
finishing what Taikoubou started. "We're out of sugar syrup, so
there are ones with honey spread on them. Other ones have that
vegetarian 'pork' powder." [5]
"... er, no, I meant that ... why are you wearing a scarf today,
shishou?"
Though wearing his customary open-necked shirt, Fuugen Shinjin
had a scarf of the same deep purple colour wound about his neck
and covering the shoulders.
"This?" Fuugen set down the bun to look critically at the scarf.
"Your susuu stole the blankets last night. I seem to have
developed a sore throat because of that."
That statement drew sputtering sounds from the direction of the
kitchen sink.
/Hah. Sore throat. I'll bet all that caterwauling I 'induced'
last night helped./
"... I'm sorry to hear that, shishou." Now that Mokutaku thought
about it, his shishou /was/ sounding a bit hoarse this morning.
"Are you okay?"
"I'll live." Fuugen sipped at his portion of millet porridge.
Bou-chan must STILL be angry that he'd been left chained to the
bed for an hour before being released.
/I didn't even DO anything else to him .../
It occurred to him that it would give him the perfect excuse.
/Sorry, Bou-chan./ Fuugen smiled wistfully. /Might as well get
used to being without you, seeing as you ARE leaving soon .../
"Fuugen, you /could/ have warned me." Taikoubou's face had
regained its normal coloring. "You know I DON'T like spicy
stuff!"
"You didn't give me a chance to, Bou-chan."
"Where are the pork powder ones?" Ignoring the sennin,
Taikoubou returned his thoughts to food. "How come you never
put the spreads I like in the BIG buns?"
"That's it." Fuugen set his spoon down. "Bou-chan, you're out of
here."
Mokutaku watched, dumbfound, as his shishou pushed his susuu out
the backdoor.
"FUUGEN?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
"I've had enough. You eat in my bed. You ruin my sheets. You
don't clean up after yourself. You expect me to do your laundry.
You sleep in my bed. You expect me to wake you up and get you
dressed in time. You criticize my cooking while freeloading the
food. In short, you are inconsiderate, ungrateful, and RUDE."
The door shut in Taikoubou's face.
"Find someone else to leech off of."
Fuugen returned to the breakfast table and sat down just as the
pounding and yelling started outside.
"... shishou, did you /mean/ what you said?"
"Of course I did." Fuugen smiled. It wasn't the best reaction he
had gotten out of Bou-chan in thirty years, but it /was/ right
up there.
================================================================
KONRONSAN DOUSHI TRAINING GROUNDS
"Good morning, Monjyu-shixiong." Fuugen Shinjin smiled at his
fellow Jyuu Ni Sen.
"G'morning, Fuugen-shitei." Monjyu Kouhoutenson inhaled deeply
and spread his arms wide. "Lovely day, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is."
"Yo!" Kintaku hollered from the training ring below the two
sennin. "Shishou! Can we start now?"
"Not yet!" Monjyu hollered back. "On my count: one, two, three,
GO!"
Standing side by side, the two watched as their pupils squared
off against each other, making comments now and then on a
particularly clever maneuver on the part of one or both
students.
"Good morning, Fuugen-susuu, Monjyu-susuu." A polite greeting
interrupted a discussion on the pros & cons of defensive versus
offensive paopei.
"Good morning, Youzen." Monjyu was the first to reply. "Lovely
weather for outdoor exercise, isn't it?"
"Urm, yes, it is." Youzen agreed hastily, for Monjyu Kouhoutenson
was known to be a rather vocal nature-activist.
The last thing the tenzai-doushi wanted was to receive a
long-winded dissertation on the wonders of Mother Nature.
"Good morning, Youzen-kun - oh, look, Mokutaku's managed to
break out of the Tonryutou." Fuugen noted. "Kintaku is
surprised, but holding his position. You've taught him well,
Monjyu-shixiong."
"Really? Yes, you're right." Monjyu looked pleased. "You're a
good teacher yourself, most doushi wouldn't have thought to use
the three Tonryutou's inherent repelling force against each
other to free themselves."
"Sorry to disturb you," Youzen cut in, "but ... I am here to
speak with Fuugen-susuu. It will only be for a short while."
"Monjyu-shixiong?" Fuugen looked questioningly at the older
Jyuu Ni Sen. "Would you mind if ...?"
"No, not at all." Monjyu's attention were only on the doushi in
the practice ring. "I'll be able to handle any mischief those
two may cause. You two go ahead, we'll be fine here."
================================================================
A NAMELESS PEAK IN KONRONSAN
Now that he was alone with /him/, he found that he had lost his
voice. He had left his wits somewhere behind him, and had not
the words to say the thoughts he had forgotten.
"Youzen-kun, you wished to speak to me?" Fuugen Shinjin's
ever-present, angelic smile was not making it easier.
"I -" By the powers between Heaven and Earth, he was stuttering
like a lovesick idiot. Which he wasn't. Okay, /maybe/ the
lovesick part, but he was definitely no idiot.
"Youzen-kun?"
"What did you mean?" He could bite his tongue off, he sounded
twice the fool, speaking what just came to mind. "I meant, what
did you mean by the words you spoke last night?"
"Youzen-kun." Again, Youzen witnessed the transformation from
the Fuugen Shinjin he knew to the one he did not. He was ready
this time. He would not back away.
"What did you think I meant?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."
"I meant what I said." Unsmiling, Fuugen looked away. "You
did not hear what I said."
"I listened to what you said, but I don't understand."
"Listening and hearing are two different things, Youzen-kun."
"I don't have time for word games, Fuugen Shinjin!"
Fuugen was unmoved by his outburst. Violet eyes unreadable, the
sennin sat down abruptly.
"Sit down, Youzen-kun." The sennin looked up at him. "I think we
have some communication problems to work out."
"I believe we do, Fuugen Shinjin - or should I say,
Fuugen-SUSUU." Youzen sat down.
He did not like this feeling - this feeling that the sennin was
laughing at his expense.
"Starting with what you really meant. How can listening and
hearing be two different things? Aren't they the same?"
"No, they're not." Fuugen did not look at him. "You can listen
to someone, but at the same time hear only the sound of their
voice and not what they are trying to tell you."
"Are you implying that I don't pay attention to you?"
"You said that, I did not." Fuugen smiled. It was a cold smile,
a smile like the sharp edge of wintry ice, brittle and cold.
"Let me put this bluntly: you do not love me at all."
"How can you say that?" Youzen stared at the sennin in
disbelief. "If I don't love you - if I don't love you - what is
this emotion I feel for you? What is -"
"It isn't love." A hand on his wrist stopped his words.
"To love someone, you must know the person you love. And you do
not know me at all, do you, Youzen-kun?"
"I -" He could not refute that.
"The Fuugen you love is not the Fuugen that is." The voice
continued, merciless and relentless. "The Fuugen you love DOES
NOT EXIST. The Fuugen you love is only a mask, /my/ mask, a
person who I would like to be. A person I wish others to believe
in. A person that I am NOT.
"You have never seen the real Fuugen until last night. I had
never let you see myself as I am. Now, I ask you again, Youzen-
kun. Do you love 'me'?"
He looked into strangely familiar violet-blue eyes, eyes as deep
and as bottomless as dreams.
Strange eyes, for he had never truly looked at them before. He
had never looked, because he had been afraid to. Afraid, to look
into them and be discovered looking.
Familiar eyes, strangely familiar, something he could not put a
name to. Something that he knew he should have known, the moment
he saw those eyes. The eyes that knew exactly what it wanted,
when it wanted it, /how/ it wanted it - the eyes of a predator.
"Yes." he answered, simply. "I love 'you'."
The eyes mirrored his own.
================================================================
TAIKOUBOU'S "MEDITATION" ROCK
/Crap./ Taikoubou's stomach grumbled as he sat on the rock,
pretending to his daily meditation exercise. /I had NO idea that
Fuugen was capable of anger./
Okay, so he probably had - heck, he HAD taken his lover for
granted lately. No wonder Fuugen was angry. He supposed he
ought to apologize.
/I'm sorry, Fuugen, I really really REALLY am./
The doushi had gotten Mokutaku to sneak more buns to him,
afterwards, but that was more than six hours ago. He could feel
his stomach wrap itself about his spine, literally.
/Owie. I wonder how much groveling do I need for Fuugen to
relent?/
Taikoubou missed having his lunch delivered.
/... *sigh* ... I suppose I'll sleep it off and crawl back home
for supper./
Resigned to an empty stomach, Taikoubou decided to take his
afternoon nap.
================================================================
A NAMELESS PEAK IN KONRONSAN
"Youzen-kun ..." Blue-violet eyes were ... unhappy? "I had hoped
that would not be your answer."
"... why?" He was anything but stupid. "There is someone else,
isn't there?"
"Yes." Fuugen did not bother to hide the fact. "Why, are you
curious about his identity?"
"Of course." Whoever his 'competitor' was, Youzen was certain he
could better the other in any area. "Who is he?"
Fuugen began to laugh. A snickering laugh that was directed at
him. Youzen hated it when he was not taken seriously - when he
was laughed at.
"Don't laugh at me!" He grabbed the sennin and shook him, hard.
"Tell me who he is."
"... you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Tell me his name."
"... Bou-chan." Seeing the incomprehension on Youzen's face,
Fuugen clarified. "Taikoubou-susuu to you, Youzen-kun."
"... I don't believe you."
"You may believe what you please, Youzen-kun."
Those violet eyes were laughing at him.
"... why?" Youzen said, finally. "Why him? Why HIM of all
people?"
"Because he has something that I lack." Fuugen's answer was
simple and certain. "Because he has something no one else has.
Something that I cannot explain to you - yet."
"... what does he have that I have not?" He demanded.
"......" Fuugen did not answer. "Youzen-kun, it is possible for
me to love you."
"You did not answer my question."
"It was a question I could not answer in a way that you would
understand." Fuugen Shinjin moved close, leaning intimately
against his shoulder. "Besides, there is something else you
should know."
"... what should I know?" Youzen let it slide. He did not want
to drive away the slender figure pressed to his. He put one arm
around Fuugen's shoulders, waiting for his answer.
"If you want to love me, you must know me."
"... you have said that already."
"The opposite also holds true, Youzen-kun."
"...!!!" Did Fuugen Shinjin mean that ...
The sennin nodded.
"I won't pry into your secrets, but neither will I look the
other way should you let something slip. If you want me to love
/you/, I must know /you/."
"... I accept."
"Youzen-kun," Somehow, Fuugen had managed to wind both arms
about his neck without him noticing until after the fact. "Don't
be so quick to accept before I am done speaking."
"... what else is there to know?" He knew the risk he was
taking - the risk of exposing his very heart and soul to this
creature -
/What if he learned - what if he knew - /
The body over his was almost feverish in temperature, the body
heat burning into him, against him. He wanted Fuugen. He NEEDED
Fuugen.
/No. He will not know. I will make certain of that./
... he knew he would accept what Fuugen offered.
"I will make a deal with you, Youzen-kun." Fuugen nuzzled
against his ear. He tightened his grip on the sennin's shoulder.
"If, at any time, you find me wanting - if you find someone else
you love - you are free to go, no strings attached."
"I would never do such a -"
"Shh. Let me finish first," Fuugen's voice was husky, a purring
note that made him listen. "You will not lie to me, ever. Nor
will I lie to you. Simply do not answer the questions you do not
want to.
"I will do the same, secret for secret, truth for truth. If you
learn something I did not wish you to ... I have the right to do
the same. And I know I will, just as I know you will. These are
the terms - will you accept them?"
"You speak nothing of fidelity." The fact that Fuugen had ...
Taikoubou as a lover still rankled.
"I put no such holds upon you." Fuugen moved out of his hold,
suddenly aloof. "Do not ask the same of me."
"But -" Youzen could not get used to the sudden shifts between
this Fuugen Shinjin's mood.
He was left with the need for warmth, left cold where Fuugen
had touched him.
"I think there is something else you should see before you
accept, then."
"Wha-!?"
Youzen stared as Fuugen tugged open the dark scarf about his
neck. The deep purple fell free, and fluttered to the ground.
Red. Red and raw, livid scald marks that marred the otherwise
perfect flesh.
"Who did this to you?" He knew. He knew who did this. "Did HE
do this to you?"
"Myself." Fuugen smiled back at him. "I did this to myself."
"... you're lying."
"... I allowed it. Isn't that the same?"
" ... it isn't."
"What if I told you -" Fuugen replaced the scarf. "What if I
told you that I could have stopped it at any time I wanted to?
"What if I told you that I /wanted/ him to do this to me?"
The smile held only self-mockery.
"Do you still love 'me', Youzen-kun? Who did you love, truly?
Did you love the mask or the person behind it? Can you still
say that you love 'me'?"
/Do you still love me?/
The eyes were almost savage in their intensity.
"I love you." Without hesitation. "I love ... you, Fuugen. I
love 'you'."
"... then, you may have me."
================================================================
KONRONSAN DOUSHI TRAINING GROUNDS
"Sorry for the wait, Monjyu-shixiong." Smiling, Fuugen Shinjin
rejoined the other Jyuu Ni Sen and their two pupils.
"These things always take longer than expected." Monjyu
Kouhoutenson laughed. "Don't worry about it, Fuugen-shitei.
Everything is fine - and we're done here at any rate."
"So, how did Mokutaku do?" Fuugen smiled at his student,
mouthing a silent apology at his absence.
Mokutaku spread his hands, allowing his teacher to know that it
was okay, really, he didn't mind at all.
"Oh, I think we can safely call it a draw." Monjyu nodded, it
had been a splendid idea for the two brothers to train together.
"Give the young 'uns a few more weeks, and I think we can start
on getting them to work together as a team."
"... eh?" Kintaku looked surprised. "Shishou, who is to be our
practice opponent, then?"
"Nii-sama." Mokutaku nudged his brother. "That question has a
very obvious answer, don't you think?"
"Very good, Mokutaku." Fuugen congratulated his student.
"Once the two of you are synchronized as a team, either
Monjyu-shixiong or myself will be your opponent."
"That's still going to be months away," Monjyu rubbed his chin
and waggled a finger at the doushi. "So the two of you needn't
worry your heads about it yet - and remember to go easy on your
teacher, ne?"
"Hai." Kintaku grinned widely, elbowing his brother back. "This
is going to be fun, little brother."
"Hai, nii-sama." Mokutaku grinned back. "Shishou, would you mind
if I went over to Monjyu-susuu's place for lunch today?
Monjyu-susuu said it was okay, and I haven't been able to see
nii-sama in ages ..."
"Not at all." Fuugen smiled. "If I am not home before you are,
I'll be found at your Taiitsu-susuu's place. Enjoy yourself,
Mokutaku."
================================================================
A NAMELESS PEAK IN KONRONSAN
"... Fuugen Shinjin ..." He was breathless with need, having
pulled the sennin over and closed the distance between them.
"Sealing the bargain with a kiss, Youzen-kun?" The blue-violet
eyes teased, giving him a quick peck on the lips.
"... call me Youzen." He disliked the formality those eyes
insisted.
"Only if you call me Fuugen."
"... I already do, Fuugen." Yes, this was what he remembered,
this burning, fiery contact. He recalled what Fuugen had done
the night before, and gave as good as he received.
"... Youzen ..." Hands gently pushed him away, a minimum of
distance that kept it acceptance and not rejection. "... not
here. Not now."
"... why not?" He wanted him. And he wanted him /now/.
"... I wouldn't be a very good master if I just left my student
unsupervised for a roll in the hay, ne?" The voice was light-
hearted, "Even if it is such a ... a practice in restraint to
stop now with a gorgeous man like yourself."
"Flatterer." He growled in flushed pleasure, refusing to let go.
"Besides ... " A slow, lingering kiss against his mouth, ending
in a playful bite. "... you wouldn't desire me as much if I was
this easy."
"When, then?" Youzen had to smile at that.
"Tonight at moonrise." Fuugen wriggled out from beneath him.
"How does the Umesekkai sound?"
"... perfect."
Fuugen wasn't listening. Or at least, wasn't listening to him.
The sennin's head was tilted to one side, in a listening pose.
"What is it?"
"Seems like Genshitenson-sama is looking for you." Hands on his
halo, Fuugen Shinjin replied. "I've set the receiving frequency
on this mobile sensor so that I can hear any announcement
G-sama makes. Useful knack to have. It got Bou-chan and myself
out of trouble more than once."
"The Houshin Keikaku?" Youzen's face had darkened at the mention
of Taikoubou's nickname. So he /was/ jealous.
/... he refers to HIM so ... intimately .../
"Probably." Fuugen was busy setting his clothing to rights. "We
should both be going to our various appointments."
"... you're right." But that didn't mean he had to like it.
"If you keep scowling like that, your face will freeze that way,
Youzen-kun."
"Don't call me -"
Fuugen kissed him.
"Mmm."
"See you tonight, Youzen-/kun/."
================================================================
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU
"... so, you see, I really don't know how to deal with problem
pupils either, being saddled with one of my own," Taiitsu
Shinjin put the laser down to adjust his protective goggles. "I
didn't like leaving my baby like that, but he believes he is
happy with his current situation - and well, as long as he's
happy, I thought, why not?" [6]
"... I see." Gyokutei Shinjin watched as Taiitsu resumed
'improving' whatever gadget he was working on. "At least you can
fix anything wrong with your pupil with your tools. I ... I have
not the tools to mend a broken heart."
"Piffle." Taiitsu gestured toward Gyokutei, and exclaimed an
apology as the other sennin ducked quickly beneath the emitted
laser beam. "Oops. Good thing you have excellent reflexes. Sorry
about that - what were we talking about again?"
Gyokutei sighed. Taiitsu was a good friend to confide to, an
intelligent person to converse with, if a tad scatter-brained.
"You were about to say something about Youzen, I think."
"Youzen? No, I wasn't." Taiitsu was finally satisfied with his
work. "Now I remember, I was going to say something about
Fuugen."
"... what about Fuugen-shitei?"
"You're worried that the kid's going to hurt Youzen, right?"
"Well, yes."
"Trust my judgement on this, he won't." Taiitsu patted what
looked to Gyokutei like nothing other than a mash of wires and
metal protrusions. "You might think that I'm not a good judge of
character - and it would be true - but I /know/ Fuugen."
"It's impossible to know everything about anyone, Taiitsu."
"I didn't say that I knew everything about Fuugen," the cobalt
eyes were intent, a serious expression that Taiitsu usually wore
when focused on a project. "But I do /know/ him.
"Fuugen's the kind of person who would never break his word.
From what you've just told me, sounds to me like he promised you
that he wouldn't hurt Youzen."
"I see."
Taiitsu could have said more, but even he knew that those words
were far from comforting to the mind of a worried parent.
/Fuugen is also the kind of person who would never 'damage' what
he could use. From what you have told me, it seems to me that he
has some use in mind of Youzen.
/I know Fuugen, because at a certain level, we are alike.
/Like me, he would go to great lengths to 'improve' that which
he could use. It may seem like that he is not doing Youzen any
favours ... but he has Youzen's best interest at heart.
/That is the Fuugen I know./
"Taiitsu-shixiong, may I come in? If you are finished with it,
I've come to pick up my Taikyokufuin."
================================================================
IN THE AIR
Side-seated atop Koutenken, Youzen sniffed in disdain at the
sleeping doushi. Did that slacker ever actually do ANY work at
all? [7]
/What does Fuugen Shinjin see in him?/
For the past twenty years, he had never witnessed the doushi
do one, singular activity that could be misconstrued as work.
/Unless you count eating and sleeping .../
Well, therein lies the difference between himself and that
useless lump he had to call 'susuu.'
/I might be called 'tenzai-doushi', but the title did NOT come
without honest work./
Secure in the knowledge of his superiority, morally or else,
Youzen directed Koutenken on his way to Gyokukyo Kyu, the
residence of Genshitenson-sama.
================================================================
~tbc~
================================================================
[1] Don't tell me that you two do this on a regular basis ...^^;
[2] Shi doesn't wanna know either. *runs*
[3] Fuugen: ...well, revenge is a dish best served cold, ne? ^_^
[4] fermented bean curd = tofu milk = ¨§»G¨Å
[5] It's a traditional oriental food - usually made with pork
that's been marinated with a barbeque flavor, shredded
into powder-like clumps, then fried for long-term
storage. The vegetarian version is made with Soya beans.
Both kinds are very good.
[6] One word: Nataku.
[7] Koutenken = a biological paopei of Youzen's. It takes the
form of a large, furry white dog, and with high
destructive power.
================================================================
Shin no Freetalk:
THIS IS A LONG PART. <- reminder to self as shi writes. ^O^;
THIS WILL BE A LONG PART. <- shi to self a LOT while shi writes
.... it seems to be working.
At 45K, it /is/ the 2nd biggest chapter so far.
The first half is "Taikoubou's Revenge", and there shi had
planned for Fuugen to give as good as he gets, but he claimed he
hadn't the mood for it. Shi sez "Feh." -_-;
The second half is "psychotic dialogue between Fuugen & Youzen"
of which shi had a brief outline style DONE thorough parts 2-4
but didn't get to use until now.
Hmmm. dark mood is prevalent, and about to get darker when
Gyokutei-shishou demands to know exactly WHAT Fuugen is up to.
Stay tuned for the next part sometime past the 15th of October,
2000. Shi's workload should be somewhat easier then. (ARRRGGGH
but the midterms are only 2 weeks away then!)
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^
================================================================
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:
Youzen has what he wants - or does he?
Taikoubou gets his ass kicked. (aka the Houshin Keikaku begins!)
... Gyokutei Shinjin has a long talk with one Fuugen Shinjin.
[not necessarily in that order!]
================================================================
First Edition: September 30th, 2000 at 11:19 PM
Last Revised: October 2st, 2000 at 11:44 AM
================================================================
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