(12-96) A popular psychology book published in Taiwan named "Teacher Zhang" discussed a phenomenon that seems unique in Chinese culture. The book called it "The Game of Breaking the Wing." Many Chinese believe that in order to achieve a common goal, an individual has to break one of his or her wings in order to fly with the others. Thus, a woman sacrifices her desire to have a career and stays home for her husband and children. A man gives up the idea of becoming an artist and finds a mundane job to support his family. Parents work hard for their children; children in turn have to sacrifice their own desires and fulfill their parents' expectations. The book concentrates on the word "sacrifice" and calls for people to stop sacrificing and start fulfilling their own desires.

It seems to me that sacrifice is not the problem. The problem is the demand that one person forces on another. Think about it. It is not uncommon for a woman to give up her career for children in the West. It happens all the time that a man has to give up the idea of becoming an artist to make a living. People rarely whine about their sacrifice in the west, why do we do it so easily in China. It's all in the disguise of self-righteousness. I sacrifice so much for you, so I have the right to demand the same back from you. We, as common Chinese, think it is so right that we never doubted that the logic does not necessarily work this way. One's own sacrifice does not entail the right of his demand on others. The logic is wrong, not the idea of sacrifice. Sacrifice is a virtue for the right reasons and motives. Without sacrifice, we are nothing but selfish beings.