(11-96) I have the pleasure to watch the movie "Sense and Sensibility" recently. What struck me most is how these men and women relate to each other under such strict rules and restraint. There was no dating, kissing, nor going to the movies. There were a few social occasions and accidental encounters; and everything is determined with the exchange of a few words, looks and gestures.

I'd like to think I belong to modern times, but come to think of it, I wasn't any better off. I was sort of thrown into the mating game without any preparation. All of a sudden boys were turning their heads when I walked into the cafeteria. What? What did I do? I remember the distinct feeling of being very animalistic. My first reaction is "run..." But I was twenty years old. I have seen Hollywood movies. I kind of know what's going on between the sexes. So, I played the game, kept everyone at arm's length. But they kept attacking, and I kept wanting to run away. I started to wonder if there's something wrong with me. Quickly, I had to choose whom I want to be serious with. Judgments were quickly made within one or two dates. As it turned out, the first person I allowed to hold my hand became my husband.

I don't know if there is such a thing as cultural memory. However, it is a well known Chinese phrase that "Men and women are not supposed to touch when giving and taking." The rule is set at Chou Dynasty, around 1000 BC. Ancestral ceremonies and funerals are the only occasions when boys and girls are allowed to be in the same room. Food and ceremonial tools are passed by girls putting them on the floor first, then boys pick them up later. The custom is not lifted till 1930's. Could we really wipe out a three thousand year old custom in a few decades?