My Adoption Story

Hi! My name is Janeen Gillespie. At the tender "young" age of 41, I am about to become a first time mother to a little girl from China. Let me share my story with you!

Adopting a daughter from China is the most wonderful thing I can imaging doing in my lifetime. But it wasn't so long ago when I wouldn't have imagined myself doing such a thing. What, me? A single woman adopting a baby? Wasn't that a crazy idea? No, not really.

For most of my life I knew that I wanted to adopt children. For many years I had imagined that I would adopt older children or special needs children. There are so many children in this world who need loving homes and I wanted to bring one or more of them into my home and heart. Circumstances never seemed quite right when I was married to bring a child into our home, however. We never seemed settled, finances were always tight, and I kept waiting for my husband to get with the plan. Eventually he decided that he wasn't happy, found someone else, and that was that.

When I suddenly found myself divorced four years ago, I thought I would have to face life on my own. At first that didn't bother me too much. I spent a lot of time writing, going out with friends, keeping myself busy. I traveled a lot, came and went as I pleased. Despite this, I felt a growing void in my life.

As it would happen, several years ago I happened to discover the wonderful movies from Hong Kong during a local Hong Kong film festival. This spurred my interest in the Chinese people and their wonderful culture. Eventually I began studying the language and listening to Chinese music.

In the Dallas-Fort Worth area there are several growing Asian neighborhoods. These include two "Chinatown" districts. From shopping and dining frequently in the Chinese stores and restaurants, I have made several friends in the local Chinese Community.

Among my Chinese friends are the Ten family. They immigrated to the USA from Taipei, Taiwan. Over the past years they have become my "foster family" as my parents and only sister live out of state. Through thick and thin, they've been very supportive. They've included me in their family celebrations of both Chinese and American holidays and family events.

In the spring of 1997 I had the fortunate opportunity to travel to Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong and Taiwan. It was a wonderful trip. Though the countries were exotic, there was a very familiar sense that I had found a second home. When I left, I hoped that I would some day have the chance to return.

Back home, again a growing sense of change kept nagging at my thoughts. I knew my life was ready for a change in direction, but I didn't know where that change might be leading me. I kept myself occupied, even dated for awhile, but knew there was something very important missing.

One day, when I took one of my kitties in to visit "Aunt Carol" Cass, my veterinarian and good friend, I told her how much I enjoyed my trip to Asia. She mentioned that she knew another single woman who had just returned from China, with her adopted daughter. My heart took a leap. I'd never imagined that a single woman could adopt from China. And so a seed was planted.

It took a few more weeks for that little seed to germinate and sprout. One Saturday I went to a small, local beauty shop to have my hair cut. I'd made friends with Debbie, the owner, and that day she had brought her month-old niece, Amber, in to work with her. My heart took another leap. Amber is a beautiful little girl and was just as precious as could be. Again I wondered if I could ever be a mommy to such a sweet little girl.

Before the end of that day, despite a lot of doubts, somehow I knew that there would be a daughter out there for me someday.

I called Carol and had her put me in touch with the woman who had adopted from China. Her name is JoAnne and she was sweet enough to meet me for brunch one Sunday morning where she answered a good number of my questions about adopting. It was then that I learned that, while it was rather expensive, it was still in the range of "possible".

I got onto the Internet and started researching Chinese adoption. Along the way I found the APC Adoptive Parents from China news list and subscribed. What a godsend! It has been a wealth of information and support.

Through the APC I got into contact with Sue, another single woman in my area who was working on her paperwork. We met at a Families with Children from China (FCC) picnic where I barraged her with questions. I learned so much from Sue that day and set off to pick an agency and social worker.

After reading up on agencies and going to an orientation meeting, I came to decide on CCAI. Based out of Colorado, CCAI has one of the best records for Chinese adoptions. They seemed very friendly and have been great on answering all of my questions.

In mid July, 1998, I started the "paperchase". I sent in my application to CCAI and filled out my I-600A. I took a day off from work and drove around, getting my paperwork together.

Much unlike what I've heard is typical with the INS, I had wonderful luck with them. I was called in to be fingerprinted about 10 days after I sent in the I-600A. About 10 days later I got a call from the INS worker at 7:00 am on a Monday morning - My fingerprints had cleared and I was ready to go on with my paperwork.

I scheduled my physical and started looking for an "animal-friendly" social worker. Again the APC list came through for me. Brenda Echols, social worker and adoptive mother of a darling little girl from China, contacted me. She send me an application and I got right to work on it.

Brenda was wonderful and assigned my homestudy to Linda Knight. My homestudy was done on Friday, August 28. Linda made the whole process very easy, comfortable, and was fantastic. Fortunately, she loves cats and was gracious to hold Rufus, my 22 pound "Buddha Cat" on her lap through most of the interview.

The next Tuesday Linda called me to tell me that she had written up the "long form" of my homestudy report for the INS and was currently working on the "short form" which China preferred. Thursday morning she hand delivered a copy of both reports to me and said that a copy had already been sent to the INS.

The upcoming weekend was Labor Day weekend so the INS office was closed on Monday. On Wednesday I talked to Brenda who informed me that the sweet lady at the INS told her that she had already processed my I-171H form!

The I-171 arrived on Thursday. I took the next day off, intending to drive to Austin for Certification at the Secretary of State's office and then go to Houston to hand deliver my dossier to the Consulate for Authentification. I only made it half way.

That Friday all of Texas was besieged by torrential rainfall due to a tropical storm front. I made it to Austin and took care of the paperwork there. I tried to press on to Houston but had to turn back after driving about 100 miles as the highway was closed. I later learned that Houston was experiencing record flooding.

The following Monday I tried again and succeeded. I had gone down to Houston Sunday afternoon and stayed over so that I could get to the Chinese consulate when they opened and then drive home in time to work the second shift. I had a wonderful trip, getting the chance to visit some of my Chinese friends in Houston, shopping in the Chinatown section of Bellaire, Texas. The people at the Consulate were very sweet and very nice. I was tickled as one of the gentlemen there was very handsome and reminded me a lot of Leung Kar Fai, one of my favorite Chinese actors.

The completed, authenticated dossier was delivered back to me on Wednesday and I frantically raced to the post office to send it on to CCAI for translation. It was officially logged in at CCAI on 9/18/98 and I was later notified that it was logged in at CCAA, the Chinese government adoption department, on 9/24/98. I was officially on my way to being a mommy!

It's been several long months since then. To fill the time while waiting for the referral of my daughter, I started working on putting together her room, buying toys and clothes and all of those other essentials one needs when you have a small child. I've also been gathering all the supplies, luggage, etc. that I will need for the trip to China in the heat of the summer.

I was overjoyed to see the September referrals start to come in in late April. I'd already been advised by my agency that, since there were so many more for the September group than usual, the batch would probably be split up. I knew that mine would be at the tail end. That didn't make the waiting any easier, though.

I watched with eager anticipation as the first and second batches came in. Finally, I was up to bat. But fate would not allow it to be that easy.

On Friday, May 7th, a horrible catastrophe occurred. As part of the NATO military action in Belgrade, Ugoslavia, a U.S. plane "accidentally" bombed the Chinese embassy, killing 3 journalists and wounding 20 others. The U.S. promptly admitted their tragic error, stating that their "intelligence" was outdated, that their maps showed a military site where the new Chinese embassy was located.

In Beijing and Guangzhou there were angry protests in front of the U.S. Consulate. Initially it was assumed by the Chinese press that the bombing was intentional. With the hostility toward the U.S. growing, all adoption activity ceased temporarily. Heroic staff members at the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou were able to contact all of the adopting families in China at that time, process their paperwork in the safety of their hotels, and allow them to return home without delay.

Here in the U.S. all of the adoption agencies were scrambling, not certain what the consequences of the bombing would have on the referral process and future travel to China. I contacted CCAI who stated that they had been informed that the Beijing office was doing "business as usual", however taking a few days off for mourning their fallen countrymen.

While I was encouraged, my heart was torn by the tragedy and with wondering how much longer I would have to wait to be united with my daughter. It was a very long, tense week.

On Saturday, May 15th, I received an email notice that brought tears of joy to my eyes. CCAI had learned that my referral was en route from China. They expected it by mid week.

On Monday morning, May 17th, I had a feeling that it was going to be a special day. I spent the morning finishing up my adoption announcements for the Net, having everything ready so that I could just put in my daughter's birthday and picture. With that done, I headed off for work.

Despite it being a cloudy, dismal day, my heart was light as I drove to work. When I got there I sat down to work and waited. It didn't take long. Just thirty minutes later the phone rang. I knew - I just knew it was the Call. A second later my intuition was confirmed.

Kat LaMons called from CCAI to give me the good news. My daughter's name is Yan Xiao Yu, meaning "twilight jade". It took a couple seconds to sink in. Xiao Yu? I had planned on calling my daughter JinYu (the words for gold and jade) meaning "most precious treasure" and nicknaming her Xiao Yu, meaning "little Jade". My goodness, this WAS my daughter, my Xiao Yu!

I was so excited that I could barely stay on the phone. Kat went on to tell me that my daughter was born on 8/18/98. She said that she was a very beautiful little girl and she was emailing her picture to me as we spoke.

Not thinking of anything other than getting a first glimpse of my daughter, I thanked Kat, hung up and grabbed my purse and keys. I had to get home to see my daughter!

On the drive home I realized that I didn't know where she was from, how big she was, or how much she weighed. As I drove home, I knew that everything was going to be okay. No, better than that. Perfect!

My hands were shaking by the time I was able to download the picture. As it came up on the screen I drew in my breath. It took all of 0.1 second to fall hopelessly in love with the little darling. Chubby Chinese cheeks! She had the most magnificent Chinese features! A full, beautiful face. Large, sparking eyes! The sweetest little mouth! I couldn't believe my luck! I had been referred the most beautiful Chinese baby I had ever seen!

Once I got my whits about me, I called my best friend, Charla, to come over and keep me company while I called my family and notified my email friends of the great news. It was so exciting to be able to share her picture with everyone immediately, especially my parents as JinYu will be their first granddaughter.

Somehow I made it back to work that day. I don't recall working, just staring at the printout of the picture of my daughter! It was just too wonderful to believe, but there she was!

The next day I received the actual photo of Yan Xiao Yu and her medical report dated 1/15/99. Oh my, she's such a tiny thing! In the bottom 3% on the Chinese growth charts, but healthy none the less.

JinYu was residing at the Nanping Children's Welfare Home, in Fujian province. Nanping is a small town, about a 3 hour drive north of Fuzhou, where I was to be united with JinYu in early July. I read that this is a beautiful part of China, full of mountains and lush valleys, known for it's jade, lacquer ware and stone carving.

In the last weeks before I left for China to get JinYu, I worked on the final preparations for her room. With my nephew's help, we painted the room in clouds - on the walls and ceiling. I planned on buying several Chinese Kites to hang around the room. I wanted something bright, cheerful and uplifting. That seems to fill the bill pretty well.

Time went by quickly and soon it was time to travel to China to meet my daughter.

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