Gah.

When this first came out last year, I immediately saw that it was a rip-off of 'Magical Drama Queen Roxy.' ('Magical Drama Queen Roxy' is a comic that was written by Adam Warren and featured the characters from another comic called 'Gen13.') The title was a dead giveaway to what it, at what I first thought, was based off of. After reading this fic, I saw that it was not based off of it; it was a blatant rip-off of it. I am disgusted.

The original story follows the adventures of a girl who is very outgoing, normally very cheerful, and loves to party. Rei is... not.

Howwever, this did not stop one Kaoru Nagisa, who just took all the lines from the comic and replaced the speaking people with characters from Eva. And the substitutions are horribly mismatched. Rei, described as apathetic, gets Roxy's lines. In short, she sounds like a Valley Girl.

Hikari is the dominatrix queen of Political Correctness. Touji is her whipped and witless minion.

...

Touji, I can see. Hikari... no. It's hard to explain unless you've read the comic, but the original characters who were in it fitted it to a 'T.' Putting the Eva characters in their places does not work.

The main plot is for Rei to get through the 'Mall of Doom' (that was also the main plot element in MDQR) and restore Prince Shinji's real form. Best not to ask about Shinji.

All the same jokes from the comic are here, except the ones that the author did not understand. Those were replaced with the author's nigh-everpresent love of clothes (as seen throughout Evaless) and fascination with sex. (As also seen throughout Evaless) Also, much of the re-used dialogue the author did not understand, or even bother trying to fit it into the characters, resulting in the pre-stated horrible mismatching of characters.

Plus, there's very minimal description that doesn't involve the heroine's clothes. And for a rip-off, it manages to skip entire scenes from the source material.

While a rip-off, the author did try to take some incentive into originality. Unfortunately, the incentives truly do blow, and only extend to changing characters and a few location's names to fit the story. The worst of it, hoewever, is when the author breaks out into rants that primarily deal with the fact that Rei's pissed that she doesn't get Shinji in all that many fics, or that she isn't the center of attention in other fics.

The whole thing culminates in the poorest piece of plagiarism I have ever witnessed. The ending scene, taken (again) directly from the comic (but replaces Leonardo DiCaprio with a Cliffs' Notes version the 'talk' Rei had with the 16th Angel) is severely hacked. It may as well be this:

Rei lands in a pool. Talks with a version of her self. Gains new clothing and incentive. Flies into air and screams out attack.

Lands on Hikari's head.

Wins fight, if one could call it that.

After that, the author takes the time to rip-off the ending of the comic even more.

The summary? My opening 'statement' still stands: Gah. Adam Warren's original is the way to go. If you can find it, it's worth at least one read. This fic is best left untouched, though.

Until Instrumentality is need again...