I Don't Know How to Love Him
A Soi and Tomo Filk
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Disclaimer. Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu, Bandai, Flower Comics,
Tokyo Television, and others. The song belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber.
No infringement was intended on either part.
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Author's Note: I just wanted to clarify some things to make it easier
on me and you. Tomo is without his makeup and costume, but his hair is
still up in a ponytail. He's wearing ordinary clothes. When you see
Image, that means the person is seeing it in their mind (ie, it's not
actually happening). I'm using their real names, Kaen (Soi) and Chuin
(Tomo), just to add a personal touch. Enjoy!
I Don't Know How to Love Him
(Jesus Christ Superstar-Andrew Lloyd Webber)
I don't know how to love him.
Chuin leans against the walkway rail by his chambers, watching Nakago
walk across the courtyard.
What to do, how to move him.
He watches Nagako disappear into his own chambers.
I have changed. Yes, really changed.
Chuin turns and slowly walks into his chambers.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else
Chuin walks to his dressing table. He picks up a hand mirror and
studies his face in the mirror.
I don't know how to take this.
Kaen is getting dressed. Behind her is Nakago, still lying on the bed.
I don't know why he moves me.
She finishes dressing and looks over her shoulder at Nakago, who has
rolled over onto his side away from her.
He's a man. He's just a man.
She fully turns and watches him.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways.
Image: A younger Kaen staring emotionlessly at the ceiling while a
customer has his way with her.
He's just one more.
She turns and leaves the chambers.
Refrain:
Should I bring him down?
Image: Kaen stands with her finger pointed at a kneeling Nakago, who
has his face in his hands. Kaen's mouth is moving, clearly rebuking
him.
Should I scream and shout?
Image: Chuin stands, hands clenched by his sides, yelling at Nakago,
who has a stunned and hurt expression on his face.
Should I speak of love?
Image: Nakago's arms are around Kaen, her hands on his face. They gaze
into each other's eyes.
Let my feelings out?
Image: Nakago has his arm around Chuin. Chuin has his head against
Nakago's chest, his hands lightly holding the front of his shirt.
I never thought I'd come to this!
What's it all about?
Split screen. Chuin is in the right frame, Kaen in the left. Chuin and
Kaen are both outside (on opposite sides of the courtyard), each
leaning against the walkway railing. They both stare up at the stars.
Don't you think it's rather funny?
Chuin and Kaen each have an ironic and bitter smile.
I should be in this position.
The smile disappears from their lips.
I'm the one who's always been.
Returns to one screen.They look across the courtyard at each other,
but not seeing each other. Returns to split screen
So calm, so cool.
Image: Chuin is seen in full costume, his hands are folding in front
of his chest
No lover's fool.
Image: Kaen sits, unmoved, as a man caresses her.
Running every show.
Chuin and Kaen, heads raised, have a confident look on their faces.
He scares me so.
They both lower their heads,a look of fear is in their eyes. they
shudder.
Instrumental music, playing the first half of the refrain.
Chuin and Kaen move away from the railing and begin walking. Each lost
in thought.
I never thought I'd come to this!
What's it all about?
Still walking, both are looking at the stars. Pain is visable in their
eyes.
Yet, if he said he loved me.
Image: Nakago, holding his arms out. His lips are saying, "I love you."
I'd be lost, I'd be frightened.
Image: Chuin and Kaen, in their own screen frames, react in shock.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
Image: A tear rolls down each of their faces.
I'd turn my head.
I'd back away.
Image: Each turn their head away from Nakago and begin to back away
from him, their hands out in front of them, as if to keep the words
away.
I wouldn't want to know.
Image: Kaen drops to her knees, hands over her ears. Chuin turns and
runs.
He scares me so.
The split screens disappear. Both Kaen and Chuin are seen on one
screen. They walk past each other.
I want him so.
They turn and look sadly at each other.
I love him so.
A superimposed image of Nakago appears between them.
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Written by Cind-chan (
geocities.com/tokyo/garden) (
geocities.com/tokyo)