Icy rain pelted the weary travelers like needles, stinging against the skin. The troops had been successful in pushing back the Suzaku Seishi, but at a very high cost. Too many soldiers had been killed or so badly wounded their services could no longer be counted upon. Why, then, did this victory seem so bitter to Nakago as he made his way back to the encampment?
Steadying his steed as he approached his tent, Nakago dismounted in a gracefully fluid motion. Several guards wrestled with the agitated horse, trying to calm it. The normally obedient animal seemed to sense something as well. Every flash of lightening startled the otherwise well-disciplined equine. When they were about a mile from camp, a particularly close bolt had caused the horse to rear up violently. The animal brushed Nakago awkwardly against some vines with enough force to knock off his helmet. One brave solider found the courage to stop and retrieve it. He was rewarded with a angry glare as the Shogun snatched the muddy helmet from the soldier's trembling hands.
Nakago began to peel the wet layers of clothing from his tired body, brushing off all offers of assistance from his attendants with a growl. The two attendants bowed nervously as they left the tent, bumping into Soi as she entered. Her glare expressed that their continued existence on the Earth depended on how fast they could get out of her sight. They understood her message clearly and disappeared. Gathering herself, she quietly walked over to the Shogun. Perhaps her talents would 'soothe the savage breast' of her Lord and Master.
Nakago glanced at Soi, acknowledging her presence and allowed her to stay. She, along with her contingent of troops, had remained behind at camp during this last siege. They were to be used for the following morning's invasion, or would be called upon if unexpectedly needed during the evening's battle. As she helped Nakago remove his scarf, they both noticed the back of his left earring fall to the ground. He lifted his hand and felt his lobe. With a muttered curse, he patted the material of his shirt, and glanced around at the pile of wet clothing gathered near his feet. Frustrated and visibly shaken, Nakago quickly grabbed his soaking wet cloak and strode swiftly out of the tent. Soi's attempts to detain him were futile.
His attendants had just removed the saddle from Nakago's horse when the Shogun snatched the bridle from one man's hand. He lifted himself onto the horse's bare back and rode off in a hail of mud towards the spot where his helmet had dislodged earlier that evening. Throughout the miserable ride, every flash of lightening scared the horse more and more, and it was all Nakago could do to stay on board the massive animal's back.
It was dark now and pouring, as Nakago dismounted and secured the horse's reins to a tree trunk. Lightening illuminated the forest path, causing the horse rear in fright. The Hin looked up to see what he thought was a shadow pass very near to him. He squinted in the dim light trying to make out who, or what, was out there. What he thought he heard took his breath away...
Trying to calm the animal, Nakageo grabbed his horse's reins and pulled the creature's massive head closer to him. Nakago blinked and turned his head to the side to listen more intently. The steady patter of rain on the leaves, mingled with the light wind played tricks with his senses, and made sounds seem to come from different directions at once. He looked into the darkness of the forest, searching for anything familiar.
The wind-driven rain, which had soaked Nakago clear through to the skin, suddenly subsided. An eerie calm crept through the forest, quieting his horse. The moon suddenly shone through the parting clouds, making everything in the forest sparkle and shimmer. There was a soft rustle of sound, then silence. Insects, who usually begin to sing to each other the moment a storm passes, remained quiet. Nakago's breathing was very shallow, as if any sound he made would disturb the stillness around him. Even the horse's breathing was quiet. A glint of colored crystal caught his eye. Looking down, Nakago saw his earring sparkling at his feet in the moonlight. As he held the small object up to the nocturnal light, Nakago noticed the color of the stone reminded him of his mother's eyes.
The clouds crept back over the silver orb, blocking out its light. At that moment, the cold rain and wind resumed its assault on the Shogun's body and spirit. Pocketing the ornament, Nakago climbed onto his steed's back, encouraging it to move with a stern press of his heels. But instead of the break-neck gallop that brought the two to this spot in the woods, Nakago let the animal set the pace for their return trip. Nakago looked back once more into the forest and, with a deep sigh, headed towards camp.
The Shogun began to tremble slightly at the cold, his body completely soaked and feeling raw. As the rain trickled down the sides of his face, his hair became matted and tangled. The horse's steady rhythm began to rock Nakago into a weary stupor, and his thoughts began to wander back to his childhood. Back to a simpler time. Back to a time when he and his mother were caught by surprise in a sudden summer downpour. Her laughter filled his mind. How two people could become so wet so quickly amused her. How they'd have to hang the laundry back out when the storm was over. How she had hugged him and rubbed his arms and little body in an effort dry him. And how she had kissed him, knowing a mother's love would keep the chill away. And how he had kissed her back, knowing that it would.
A brilliant bolt of lightening snapped Nakago out of his trance, and he listened as the thunder crackled and exploded around him. Somehow his horse hadn't noticed; instead, it kept on its steady, silent pace. Nakago closed his eyes and let his head fall back, allowing the rain to wash over him. A soft murmur from his horse alerted Nakago to open his eyes. The fires of the camp were barely visible through the mist. They reminded him of the fires of...no...no. He wouldn't allow himself to remember that night. Not again. He would dream of that night over and over, but he didn't want to remember it right now.
Nakago had convinced himself that a soldier never regrets any action. All activities are meticulously planned and then carried through to the end. No distractions would be tolerated, or else the success of the mission would be in jeopardy. As his body moved in sinc with the horse, gently rocking forward and back, Nakago's thoughts blurred. He imagined himself as a teenager, introducing his mother to the young woman in their village that he fancied. He thought he saw himself bringing his young family for a visit to their obaasan. Her welcoming them with hugs and kisses, rubbing her son's back proudly as they entered her small home. Nakago shuddered and hung his head with a slight whimper.
Approaching the encampment, Nakago saw Soi and his attendants waiting anxiously for him near his tent. One soldier took the horse's reins while the other assisted Nakago off the animal. The storm had nearly subsided by the time he had returned. He could hear the sound of rumbling thunder echo in the far distance. He gave his horse a gentle pat on the neck, and as if in recognition the creature whinnied softly as it was led away. Soi held open the tent flaps for her lover and he quietly entered the candle-lit shelter. She had decided to make up Nakago's bedding herself, figuring he would exhausted. However, she still remained close by so that she would be able to offer comfort if desired.
After helping remove his soaked cloak, she opened her hand to reveal the earring back. Nakago reached into his pocket and held the crystal earring in his palm. She took the earring and gently put it into Nakago's lobe. He looked down at her beautiful heart-shaped face but said nothing. She frowned at his somewhat bleak expression, and reached to brush away some of the moisture that remained on his face. He grabbed her hand before she could touch him and held it for a moment. Soi studied his eyes, searching for a clue to his more solemn than usual behavior. She felt her heart ache when she saw only sadness. He brought her delicate hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. He then led her to the entrance of his tent, picked up her cloak and handed it to her.
Soi stood on tiptoe and kissed Nakago's damp cheek. This time he allowed her to gently caress it. His tired blue eyes told her what she needed to know. While she didn't understand his need to be alone, she accepted it as she had so many times before. She then left her Shogun's side for the night. Nakago stood facing the tent's entrance for what seemed an eternity. Then, he slowly bent to pick up the towel Soi had left him. He dried his hair, and ignored the steaming soup she had laid out for him at his table. Instead he chose to take a large gulp of warm wine from the goblet next to it. After he removed all of his saturated clothing, he slipped silently beneath the quilts of his bedding, and wrapped his naked body in a cocoon of warmth. The single candle flame flickered and danced at the movement his body had made, reflecting against the tent wall. Nakago stared at the shadows and silhouettes the light created, and sighed deeply.
The source of the moisture that glistened off Nakago's cheeks as he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, was not from the rain.
The End
Copyright 1998 Julie Farel
Fushigi Yuugi is the property of Watase Yuu.