The subtle scent the earth makes just before it rains filled Nakago's nostrils as a soft breeze gently played with the tent flaps, letting in the pre-dawn light. He had been somewhat awake for several minutes before the breeze's intrusion made him open his eyes and look down at the sleeping figure snuggled next to him. He had been thinking about and planning the day's activities in his mind, as he always did before rising. Something in this breeze caused him to look down at Soi and then notice her shiver in the coolness of the morning air. He gathered up the material and gently covered her bare arm and shoulder to keep her warm. She snuggled a little closer, and sighed a whispered "arigatou..."

Soi lay in Nakago's arms, her head just on the left side of his chest close to his shoulder as his left arm wrapped itself around her smaller, delicate ones. Her naked body was molded against his and her right arm rested lightly across his stomach as he held her right hand in his, their fingers laced together. He absentmindedly let his thumb rub against the softness of her hand as he became more and more awake. He inhaled the sweet fragrance of her hair as it mixed with the musky smell of rain, and sighed. As he moved again to stretch weary muscles into submission, Soi released his hand and rolled partially onto her back, the quilt falling just off her shoulder. He moved ever so slightly away and propped himself up on his left elbow, resting his head on his hand. With his right hand, he went to retrieve the stubborn quilt when he brushed against her breast.

Soi moaned in her sleep as her hands took hold of Nakago's strong arm and placed it across her body, bringing his hand up to caress her face. Nakago smiled at the sensuous way the golden hairs on his arm tickled her nipple and made it rise against him. He let his thumb stroke back and forth against Soi's lips and smiled again when they puckered every so slightly to kiss it. He tilted his head to get a better look at Soi, her lovely heart-shape face silhouetted by her long, silky red hair that fell over her eyes and across her pale neck. When did he notice how beautiful she was? And why hadn't he notice it sooner, he wondered to himself as his fingers moved a few stray strands of red from her forehead.

He was a soldier, he reminded himself, and soldiers don't care for beautiful things, at least not the way most people do. Soldiers may find beauty in victory; soldiers may find beauty in a well-planned battle; but soldiers don't have time to find women beautiful.

But Nakago had found Soi beautiful. And desirable. As he caressed the incredibly soft skin of Soi's cheek, he wondered when it was that he wanted to please her as much as she seemed to want to please him. When did it become important to him that her needs were met first; that she enjoy their lovemaking as much if not more than himself. "A soldier must think about his own needs first if he is to survive" he had often told himself. Yet, why was he suddenly feeling this way about the woman who had shared his bed for the past few years. Why was it getting harder and harder for him to leave camp and not see her everyday, even if it was just to share the day's events with her and the other Seishi. Why did he find himself thinking about her when he was supposed to be mapping out a new route to follow, or when he caught the scent of flowers as he road through a meadow on his way to a battle? When did she take hold of his heart? He closed his eyes and felt himself sigh. A soldier doesn't think such thoughts.

As he pulled himself out of Soi's embrace, he heard her moan a sleepy protest. "Nakago-sama?" Soi whispered as her eyes fluttered open. "Shhh," Nakago said quietly back. "It's just dawn. Go back to sleep." He pulled the quilt back up around her and she snuggled into its softness as she drifted back to sleep. As he sat on the edge of the futon looking down at her sleeping form he felt his left hand reach out and lightly stroke her hair. He slowly stood and began to put on his clothes, all the time watching Soi. When he was completely dressed, he silently knelt down and, leaning forward, softly kissed her lips trying not to wake her. Soi smiled in her sleep and sighed "Nakago-sama..."

When he reached the entrance to his tent, he suddenly found himself unable to move. He felt a thump in his throat that he didn't recognize. He turned and looked back at Soi and for a moment wished he could rush back and take her in his arms, cover her with kisses, and tell her just how he felt about her. But a soldier wouldn't do that. He managed to composed himself as he adjusted his cape and armor. With a deep breath, the soldier left the tent. But the burning in the soldier's chest meant that he had left behind his heart.

Copyright 1998 Nakago-sama/ Story Copyright 1998