A Shrine for a Friend

once i knew this friend...
he used to filled my junior high school days...
with much love and care.
he was a big brother to me.
he was there to show me the way
of growing up...
of learning...
of being mature...
of being a happy girl.

before him, i had no idea about love...
about the idea of two people being together
he laughed at me but then told me
about all the joys and sorrows...
and i thank him always
for the chance
of being his little sister.

we lost contact afterwards.
he went on with his own circle of friends,
and i went with mine.
but once in a while he wrote to me
told me in his own adult ways
for me to behave...
to watch where i went...

no one told me before...
but he did teach me about
the pain of growing up
of how to be strong.

now i lost him.
forever...
a big brother...
a mentor...
a good friend...

and i have not even told him...
how much he means to me
how thankful i am for his guidance.

no matter what others said about him.
about the way he passed away.
i want to always remember him
as a dear friend...
who had the whole world in front of him.
as a brother...
who showed me the meaning of surviving.
as a mentor...
who taught me about growing up.

farewell my friend...
i'll miss having you around.
with you gone, i lost part of...
my childhood with you.
i'll remember what you always told me...
that life goes on...
no matter what
so i will always have my dignity
i will move forward
i will believe in myself
i will reach up for my dream and
i will make you proud.

thank you for everything.
 

In memory of Johan (d. July 1999)

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