How To Be A Cool Asian
1) BE RACIST!
2) Dye your hair...reddish brown for best results (but then again, blonde turns out to be reddish-brown anyway)
3) You must drive an Acura Integra or Honda Civic (stick shift for tha fellows--it's a testosterone thang)
4) Never wear glasses out of class--only FOBS can do so (colored contacts are required)
5) BE RACIST!!
6) Girls, wear dark lipstick (the browner the cooler--no matter if you end up lookin like you stuffed your face in chocolate)
7) To achieve the NATURAL look, apply layers and layers of make-up on...if it starts to look unnatural (heaven forbid) just apply another layer.
8) Curl your eyelashes till they touch your eyelids.
9) Never be caught dead in a group of less than 10.
10) BE RACIST!!!
11) Only associate w/ fellow yellows.
12) When you want to speak about a non-Asian infront of their face, speak your own language very loudly and rudely.
13) Interpret every little thing as a racial issue.
14) Never be on time when meeting friends.
15) Be RACIST!!!!
16) Dog on inter-racial couples.
17) A pager is a life necessity. (Or a cell phone...or both)
18) Only wear clothes in the exciting shades of black and white
(occasionally cream, brown, gray allowed)
19) Girls must stare at each other more than guys stare at them.
20) BE RACIST!!!!!
21) Always dress like you're goin to a party...even when your goin to Walmart.
22) Hang out in coffee shops when there's nothin to do.
23) Girls must be masters of Bust-a-move
24) Guys must be masters of Killer Instinct or Mortal Kombat III
25) BE RACIST!!!!!!
26) Make every event a social one--church, school, funerals...!
27) Guys are not allowed to leave the mall w/out at least one set of digits...that means a phone number for you morons who didn't know.
28) Girls--dress skimpy on a cold day so that a guy has to lend you his coat.
29) Guys must wear their choice of: Eternity, Escape, Cool Water.
30) BE RACIST!!!!!!!
31) Always change your pager greeting at least 3 times a day...sometimes add cheesy music for the full 30 seconds to piss the caller off
32) Carry at least 1000 pictures around w/ you wherever you go--pictures only of Asians of course...
33) Take pictures everywhere you go...even in your own driveway
Guys--always look ruff & all hard-core, lifting your chin up to the lens Girls--fake smile, or no smile.
34) Guys--never say hi verbally back to a girl...either lift one eyebrow, nod your chin (very cocky), or wink (the most annoying one)
35) BE RACIST!!!!!!!!
36) Fit 9 people in a car, when the limit is 5.
37) Wear a jade necklace, even if your not into Buddha.
38) There must be a stringy, Oriental-looking ornament dangling from the mirror of your souped-up car.
39) Girls--be abnormally obssessed w/ Sanrio (Keroppe, Hello Kitty, Pochacco, Pekkle, etc...)
40) BE RACIST!!!!!!!!!!
Back to Tha 
