You Know You're A REAL Asian When...

1) You carry a pager in your right pocket, flipped inward, whether its activated or not.
2) Your bangs are either long enough for you to touch with your tongue, or your hair is gelled up in spikes hard enough to impale small mammals.
3) You're so caught up in name brand shit, your pocket lint is labeled Calvin Klein.
4) Your vocabulary consists of "pimp, mack, wack" and as much as you can remember from the ebonics dictionary.
5) You go to asian parties, and you can't find your car since it looks like every other civic or integra.
6) Your screen name consists of Azn, and every word in the profile is written in alternating lower case/capital letters.
7) You can never address a friend without calling them "foo."
8) You use the letter "z" in every other word when chatting.
9) Your girlfriend has enough make-up to be accepted into Clown College.
10) You never fit that old asian stereotype of "all yellow skinned slant eyes are smart."
11) You enter chatrooms with "representin Westsiiiiiiide," or "any foin ladees in da house?"
12) You pick up chicks who wear shoes 2 inches away from stilts. (see #9)
13) You call people "peepz" since two syllables is too complex for you.
14) You don't know the names of cities; only area codes.
15) Instead of getting real education, you learn a plethora of nonsensical pager codes. (for god sakes, buy a message pager...if you even need one.)
16) You've never heard of any other sporting wear then Nike. (Reebok? What's that?)
17) You can't buy a shirt unless it's priced over $ 50 and has a collossal sized Tommy Hillfiger, or Polo label.
18) You're not a basketball player; you're a baller.
19) You've never bought a pair of pants that were less than 5 sizes bigger than your real waist.
20) You're an exact carbon-copy of your friends. (for their traits, see 1-19)
21) You claim asian pride wherever you go

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