2. your dad is some sort of engineer
3. your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
4. you ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing
5. you have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
6. you shop 99 Ranch
7. everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from
8. you've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
9. your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
10. you've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
11. your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
12. you drive mostly Japanese cars.
13. you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
14. you've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
15. at least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say . . . "
16. you know what bok choy is.
17. you've ever gotten little red envelopes around February.
18. piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
19. you hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you. (e.g., Jean- ee - yah! or Mary - yah!).
20. you have NO eyelashes.
21. idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc . . .
22. your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
23. the Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
24. your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
25. at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses.
26. your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
27. your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any give area as long as they are Asian.
28. an Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
29. your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
30. your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
31. everyone thinks you're good at math.
32. your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's"
33. you like $1.75 movies
34. you like $1.50 movies even more.
35. your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.
36. your parents insist you marry within your race.
37. you never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
38. you either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
39. your parents have never kissed you
40. your parents have never kissed each other.
41. you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents
42. "You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
43. people see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
44. you have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
45. you have 12+ aunts and uncles
46. at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
47. your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
48. the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
49. you will most likely be taller than your parents.
50. your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.
51. you get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don't
52. when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
53. your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
54. your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both.
55. your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e., Michael Chang)
56. the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
57. you have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
58. you own a rice cooker or two
59. you buy soy sauce by the gallon.
60. your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
61. your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
62. your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."
63. 5'7" is considered tall
64. You actually understand the message in a fortune cookie
65. You hate those sell out, whitewashed asians........ hey is there such thang as black washed?
66. Your parents tell you to turn off all the lights in your house in order to save money
67. You laugh at those idiots who pick anyone but Ryu or Ken in Street Fighter
68. you pass by your Asian friends in the hall, you nod heads, call each others names, or give each other fives
69. You don't consider anyone from India, Asian, you consider them Middle East
70. You have your freinds call you by a nickname, or by your last name
71. Your mom wants to know everything you're doing
72. In one point of your life, you'll wear glasses. Then switch to contacts
73. You're part of the Asian mafia in your school
74. some body part of your parents aches, they ask you to rub some sort of chinese Ben Gay, Tiger Balm
75. you're at McDonalds or some other fast food restaurant, you're parents tell you to take as many napkins as possible
76. your parents tell you to be careful crossing the street and you're 15
77. your parents drive around to find the cheapest gas station
78. your dad goes crazy when there is no rice
79. Your mom thinks that all forms of martial arts will make you shorter and swimming will make you taller
80. your mom/grandma owns any jade jewelry, most likely the jade bracelets, or if you own any jade jewelry
81. at a party if you play pin the tail on the donkey with asian friends,you use dental floss for the blindfold
82. your parents threathen to disown you if you date a non-asian
83. You were eating tofu before tofu became fashionable
84. Your mom/dad sees some food on sale, then buys much more than is practical, then it sits there 'til it rots and then she has to throw it away. Then she does it again.
85. today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice
86. your dad thinks he can fix anythng
87. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas when they're 50% off
88. your non-asian friends flee your apartment in horror when they smell the preserved fish you are steaming in the kitchen
89. you practically die of disgust when your non-asian friends insist on pouring sugar in tea at a chinese restaurant
90. You're actually sorry that Margaret Cho's sitcom was canceled.
91. You still remember wearing shirts w/the little alligators on them
92. You have incense in your house
93. You like to go fishing
94. You watch those Ancient Asian Tapes with your GrandParents
95. You have those little ketchup bags from McDonalds in your Fridge
96. You have a statue or a Asian God somewhere sitting in your house
97. While you are eating rice, little peices of it stick on your clothing.
98. While eating rice you always drop little peices of rice on the table and your parents or grandparents tell you to eat it up
99. Desert comes you find in your bowl some kind of red soup with beans in them
100. The only 2 sports you play are, Handball, and Chinese Handball
101. The only place you eat with your friends is Mcdonalds
102. You love to eat with your family at the resturant known as..... you guessed it MCDONALDS!
103. Your last name is one of the following, Lee, Leung, Lam, Chan, Chen, Wong, or Park
104. You have one of those cool pictures of birds with Asian writing or something like that
105. You've had one of those piggy banks shaped like a red pig
106. You go to your grandmothers house she always has to offer you watered down apple juice or left overs from yesterdays dinner
107. If you drive a car and inside you have a Oriental stringy ornament
108. If you're a girl and you are a guru at Bust A Move
109. When the only clothes you where are those with a name brand
110. Your remote control has some kind of plastic covering
111. You support Michael Chang and Michelle Kwan more than their non-Asian competitors.
112. Somehow teachers expect you to be smart
113. Your family owns some kind of hi-fi system with a karaoke machine
114. Your family owns an Asian brand of telephone. (Panasonic, Sony)
115. You or a relative owns a slammed Honda or Acura with a fat exhaust pipe
116. Your parents still have the same car as they had 15 years ago
117. Your parents have fruit trees
118. You feel attracted only to Asian girls, (or guys) not those of another race
119. Your Parents talk about u behind your back in some asian language so u dont undstand what you're saying...
120. On New Years People shout out to u Gong Hee Fat Choy
121. Your relatives/friends try to give u stuff but your parents refuse for u to take it...
122. You have reddish brown highlights in your hair to look cool
123. Your friends come over to sing a little Kareoke when they realize all your Laserdisks are in Korean...
124. On occasion your mother packs fish and rice in your lunch
125. The kids at school tease u about the fish and rice in your lunch
126. You try to be either white, or black, mainly black
127. Swear in your language to some white friends, and say it was a compliment
128. Your fridge is filled with things such as, roosters cock, pig's tail, rabbits nails, and some moldy red stuff your non-asian friends stare at
129. Your mom shops only at outlet stores
130. (If you're a girl)and u date and marry men at least 10 years older than you)
131. Your whole meal consumtion is made of MSG
132. Your parents embarass u (they are actually trying to be nice)by singing Kareoke, and offering some wired food to your non-asian friends
133. You never buy clothes marked..."Made in Indonesia", "Made In China" or "Made in Korea"
134. You find this page offensive
135. You are jealous of the white males taking away our Asian Women
136. Your Grandparents OR your Parents Never take of the plastic over New Chairs and Sofa Beds
137. You go out with friends, there's at least a big group of ten which are your friends
138. Your parents especially your mum keeps all kinds of junk in the house, as they always say could come in handy oneday
139. You have a friend over your house and then when he/she leaves your parents or family member would make a comment about them
140. You are talking on the phone your mom would say who are you talking to? Is he/she Asian? Is he/she doing good in school?
142. you got a big asian super market calendar in ur kitchen
143. All your non-asian friends (if you have any) love chinese food, while you're sick of it (some of us)
144. There is a free balloon or cookies you intend to take as many as possible
145, Your parents love free things
146. You have one of those one by one peal off calendars
147. Your parents are racist against black people even though they deny it
148. You take your shoes off before you walk into a house
149. You always have a pager in public veiw
150. You and you're parents are talking normally, you're friend's say why is your mom screaming at you?
151. You/your family owns/had owned/will own one of those fiber optic lights
152. people automatically think you know some form of martial arts
153. You over use the word Yo, Mad, and Son. (ex: Yo that music is Mad Loud Son)
154. Your ceiling's paint is falling off
155. You have soy sauce stains on your carpet or place mats
156. Your parents think there is a international Jewish conspiracy
157. "Ay yah!" comes up at least once in conversation
158. You're addicted to that black medicinal cough syrup
159. The Spanish Inquisition is nice and friendly compared to your parents asking you about your friends, or asking them about themselves
160. If your parents have bad feelings about all of your non-Asian friends
161. your Caucasian friends say, "Hey, you're as white as I am!" and they mean it as a compliment
162. a guy says, "You remind me of all the women I bought in the Philippines" and means it as a compliment
163. World War II veterans have flashbacks when they see you walking down the street
164. complete strangers ask, "Do you speak English?"
165. people ask you to translate the menu in Chinese restaurants
166. Your vocab is filled with Wei and AH
167. Your mother never shops unless there is a sale!
168. Your parents talk to eachother your friends ask "why are they fighting?"
169. You have 500 family members, and you don't know half of them
170. You hang out at the video arcades 3 times a week
171. you're half the size of most of your friends
172. People think you're related to Bruce Lee
173. People think you're related to Mao
174. People think you're a communist
175. People think you're related to Mao
176. teachers ask you if that's your REAL name on the first day of school
177. you wake up in the morning to your parents, seeing them singing kareoke
178. Your pops or mom blasts the TV early in the morning
178. when you have one of those little brooms that you bend over to use
179. you're at a restaurant, white people ask "how do you use this chop stick?"
180. teachers mispronounce your name from the first day of school till the last day of school
181. you spend 70 bucks on new shoes, then you wear pants that are so baggy that they cover the shoes completely
182. you borrow all your friends stuff and have it loaned out to someone else within five minutes
183. You have a bottle of Tiger Balm somewhere in your house
184. someone asian calls you your name is ended with "ahh" or"iee"
185. Your parents, after dinner, put their dessert directly on their dinner plate. (somehow, they don't seem to mind the flavors of chocolate ice cream and fish sauce mixed together!) (This might apply to Filipinos only, but if not, even better!)
186. Your yard is the best in the neighborhood
187. You divide your hair in the middle
188. If your childhood bed time stories consisted of demons and death. (sometimes it included tigers, rice and a maiden)
189. You put left over food in the oven, once you've had enough
190. the chinese waiter looks EXETREMELY disappointed when you said you'd rather have a fork
191. You think you're all that because you're Asian but really you're not because you don't know anything about your culture
192. Your grandma or grandpa has a white Salonpas strip stuck to an aching part of their body
193. Your parents buy tons of Vitamin E whenever they are going back to Taiwan, China
194. Your breasts are never going to fit a B cup and above
195. You have to take your parents to all appointments because you have to translate every English words into Chinese
196. You try to hit on all the asian chicks at the mall and they all turn you down =(
197. You're actually sorry that Margaret Cho's sitcom was canceled
198. you were watching Mulan with your non asian friends, they'd say... "hey look! It's your mother!"
199. your name means something
200. ur parents wont let u sleeps at otherz friendz house coz "ur a girl"(coz u'll b rape by ur friends bro or dad or kidnapped or whatsoever..)
201. ur dog mostly eat the leftoverz(or anything else beside "real" dog fOod..)
202. people who has never seen a asian before, think you're some sort of strange monkey
203. white people think you can break bricks with your head
204. you actually know what the yin-yang symbol means
205. you think it would be ok to eat your neighbor's dog
206. everyone still calls you Bruce
207. you wait till midnight to make a long distance call
208. You have to read all the mail to your parents because it's in English