First of all I must tell you that a lot of my views are what you could call a bit unpupolar, sorry, i kinda have some Punk ideals inside of me, first of all I must quote a friend of mine:
I'd also like to argue about the idea of popularity which has destroyed lot's of my friends, and made them messed up individuals, it's ok if you get along with lots of people, but you must never forget your old friends which have been with you all your life, 'cause "A handfull of true friends is better than lot's of 'known people'", these people whcih boast about their popularity and how many people they know (and go out to the Zona Rosa, saying hi, to everyone they KNOW, just boasting about their popularity, and thinking "look at me, I know all these people, I'm sooo cool"), an example of this are those crummy people that boast "I've got 300 contacts on my ICQ list", they should shut their mouth, 'cause all they're achieving is lying to themselves about having lots of friends, they're just another one of the contacts on their list, just like all the people on his list, they're nobody special, hence if you've got 300 real friends on your ICQ list it's ok, but if you have 300'names' on your ICQ list you're nothing but a fool.
Rich kids suck, they don't have to worry about their future because mommy and daddy will leave all their inheritance to them, whilst us, we have to work in order to survive in this harsh world in the future, it's just not fair, inheritance should be prohibited, hence providing better equity, and better wealth distribution (yeah I do economics, jejejee).
prejudices on people arent nice either, which around my school and my society seem to be very high, people around here just can't see a different person, because the idea of people around here is that different is bad, that's jut not true man, that's just no true,it's just...different, and I've seen the case of a friend which since he was different in his way of being, and his way of thinking , that he was rejected by the society whcih I sometimes hate so much, people stopped talking to him, people started ignoring, him, no one took the time to understand his pain and his suffering, this constant rejection, and disappointment in life made him frequently think about suicide, and the going to a better world; finally he took the best decision he could ever take, he got away from all these troubles (he went away to Canada), and forgot about his past starting a new life, now he's a new happy man, but the scars on him will never heal, nor will the scars on me ever heel, for this society has cost me the loss of a friend, one of my best friends, and I will never forget what society did to him, why they did it?, not because he was evil, just becasue he was different.
People around me also seem to be very racist, and discriminating, they can't see a chinese or black guy, or girl without saying "yuck!! chinos (yuck!!chinese)", or "mira ese negro (look at that black)" and staring at them like if they were some kind of alien species,I just hate it when people discriminate people just becasue of their differences; sadly a few people I know are racists (they seldom joke about it), and I just cant stand it, not even as a joke, God made us equal we all have the same rights, you're no better than me just because you're whiter than me, nor am I any better than you or anybody else just because my skin color's any different than your, I hate those prjudices, which hang all around me, we are all just equal, and no one around here seems to get it.
Now I'd like to tell you about me and my friends, no we're not totally social outcasts, and we kind-of get along with most people but we just don't agree with everyones sterotypical ideas, and stereotypes, about popularity, and hanging out, the majority of my few friends (the only ones I really need) don't drink so there's no point in us going to drinking parties, we once in a while go, to show some class unity, but it's seldom, and we don't like dancing, maybe i'ts not that we don't like dancing, it's just that we haven't found the right girl to dance with, for at least I take dancing very seriously, I just can't dance with a girl I just don't love, I just can't, I feel like...ammm...guilty, so we seldom do go where you think people of our age go, like dischotheques, bars, etc. and while we find a special girl for each one of us, we will be hangin out around the arcades and the cinema, where we are every saturday night...we are just a bit different upon our ideals.
Dammit I also hate these people who just wont accept guilt, and they always have to blame someone else for their actions, they always blame their guilt on the others, I hate them so much...Like I hate it when someone, scratches a CD of mine, or whne he/she stepson a Drawing which has taken me months to finish and then leaves a stinking footprint on it, and ughhhh...I hate it, he can't say, "I'm sorry", "or sorry it was an accident", no, he has to say it was YOUR fault for being so disorganized, it was YOUR fault for having this disorder in your room, I just hate that, why won't he accepta that he did wrong, why won't anyone accept that they've done wrong, this probably leads to the quote at the begining, no one accepts that they've done wrong 'cause they're all so proud of themselves, they think they're perfect I hate 'em...it's not that dificult, just accept your errors, and learn from them, I hate that, I hope you're not one of those people, they make me son mad...You probably think by now that I whine about everything, well you're correct I do, and why because all I whine about is worth whinning about, so many things are wrong with our society.
Yes I believe in God, I was raised in a Roman-catholic family, and my Grandfather (by my mother's side) was Italian, and my Grandparents (on my father's side) are devoted catholics, so that quite explains it. Anyhow, I sometimes do not agree with the church in certain areas, or topics, and I certainly do not agree in the disection, segregation/separation of the Christian religion, why are there baptists, protestants, evengelists, and catholics??? don't they all believe in the same god? Then there are these church youth groups, hey if you believe in God and go to these groups sessions for your belief, it's ok, but I've seen that most people join these youth groups in order to meet girls or guys!!!, and that is just so hollow, and above all fake!, if you want to meet people go to bars, but don't hide your search for people behind the church, please, don't be so shallow. Finally, I'm not too fond of these groups trying to make people join them, respect other people's beliefs, if they don't want to join, so be it, if they want to believe in Buddha, so be it, if they want to believe in Ala, so be it, if they don't want to believe in anything or anyone, so be it, it's their own decision, so just let it be. I seldom go to church but I like it that way, I don't like going to mass too much as well, (too many people),I always go to church alone when there's no one there, and it's quiet, I like going to the gardens and the "wishing well" at the church I usually go to, where Monseñor Romero was killed during the civil war, I was a child when that happened, but I have read about his life, and believe in him, he died at the hands of the fascist right, he died protecting his people, a true martir. However in a war, there are no good sides only bad, so I will not go to deep into that, but politically I am much more leftist than I am right, but political extremes are never good, I like the middle (yellow/green party)... Go yellow and Green, some day we'll win!!!
well, what should I tell you about???, let's see, ammmmm..ok I've already told you how I like girls, I just go crazy for Punk Rock and/or anime girls!!! they're the best!!!, but those are oh so hard to find!. OK, now I'll tell you about how I would feel about a girl I'd love, firts of all I must say that I don't care at all how she looks, it's just another part of being punk, and I don't believe in the word discrimination, or freak, or ugly, for it's all a matter of perspective, nobody's uggly, they're just different, and if for you different is ugly then you're a fool, you see some people might find some fat people extremely beautiful, whilst you despice fat people, maybe they like brunnette hair, whilst you like blonde hair,nobody is correct or wrong, they just have DIFFERENT opinions...going back to how I would feel, and my attitude towards a girl I'd love, first of all, I have this huge emotions "emotion's my middle name" which come upon me when I'm in love wiht a girl, first of all there's this indecision thing about what I should do first?, what should I do next?, and what about after?...ammmm this is because what I least wan't to do to this girl make her unhappy, I wan't to keep her happy, always, then there's this thing about how it's so bloody hard to approach a girl and get to know her beyond the "friend stage"; then I have this thing that when I fall in love, whcih seldom occurs due to this thing I'm gonna tell you about, 'cause I don't believe in this crummy thing, that seems to be a common syndrome around my school, and my society in whcih a girl and a guy are lovers for about a week, and then bum! it's all over, and then it's all like normal again, I just can't do that, 'cause when I love a girl I really mean that I love her, that's why I've probably seldom fallen in love with girls, to tell you the truth i'm writing this 'cause right now I think I'm in love with a girl, and ughh I just can't seem to find the right way to make her love me..ughh God please help me...then there' this thing whcih occurs to me when I'm in love, it's this stupid thing of getting depressed so easily, and by the most stupid things, such as when I phone her, and she's not around, or we have to hang-up quickly due to reasons such as her going to have to eat, or her mum telling her to hang up, but even though I know that she wishes to keep on talking with me, my sub-concious mind thinks that she want's to hang up, so I get like depressed, and it's just so confusing, love I mean it's just so bloddy confusing, but it's so nice...then I've got this indecission about calling her, like, "should I call her right now? no she's probably eating, she's probably sleeping, she's probbably ocupied, etc", or the question "should I call her a lot to show her how much I love her, or call her every once in while, so that she doesn't get bothered, or bored of my constant calling, it's so confusing, ughhh...then I have to arm myself of courage and call her, and while the phone's ringing I feel a tickling feeling going all the way through my spine...ahhh it makes me shiver, and then when her mum answers the phone I go nuts, like uhh, uhh..what if her mom doesn't like me calling her daughter, and ughhh...well all those things, and then trying to arrang e adate, that' just so difficult, about, like where to go?, when to go? and you take months preparing it, and then boom!!!, she'll be occupied at that time and at that moment...and there go all your plans for a wonderfull date, all down the drain, i think it's maybe just bad luck but anyway it's just so depresing...but then I say to myself "If i don't call her NOW, i'll NEVER call her, hence I call her, and by then saying to myself "you never know until you try", or "You don't loose anything by trying", and it's just so cool when everything goes well...you feel so great...well that's about it...those are my thoughts and the way I feel abot love, by the way I've never had a grilfriend,(I've only been in love seriously about one or 2 times before in my life, and it's never worked out)...I'm probably just waiting for the right girl to come around
sorry if you don't agree with my ideals, but that's just my opinion, you have your own way of seeing things, just as I have my own...and it doesn't mean that I'm right and you're wrong or vice-versa, it's just different...It's all just about perspective, everyone has their own opinions ...and you have to learn to accept and cope with differences...that's all thanx, if you have anythoughts e-mail me at krilin_182@hotmail.com
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