Hey beautiful people! It's meeh JLaLa! Well
you've reached Part Five of my story. First
I wanted to say that this is a very mini
fanfic. In fact it might two or three more
chapters before I end it. It's not because
I'm LAZY, it's just that I feel that the
story is ending and I should start on a
new one. Also school is making me crazy
and VERY busy. I'd like to say HELLO to
Meriellen5 whose support keeps me sane.
Also to all the people on my e-mail list
THANK YOU! Much love to all of you. To
everyone whose written me thank you so
much.
JLaLa does NOT own Sailormoon.
< >=thinking
PG-13
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless
and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the
endlessness that you feel
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel;
may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line,
and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on
building the lies
That make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the
endlessness that you feel
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some
comfort here
In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
-Sarah McLachlan
LESSONS TO LEARN
BY:JLALA (jlynpinay@aol.com)
Part Five: The Past Catches Up, Serena's Story
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Serena's knees buckled and she knew now that it was all over. Oh God
was she looking as weak as she felt? Serena felt Darien's arm hold her
up but all she could focus on was the young man in front of her.
"Julian..."she said weakly. His grin grew wider and she knew he could
see her weaknesses. The past had caught up with her and she felt herself
closing in. Julian's dark black eyes glinted at her with malice and she
remembered the pain so vividly it drew tears to her eyes. He ran his
fingers through his short, curly locks and walked towards her.
"It's nice to see you again", he said and took her hand. She whipped it
away and he couldn't help but chuckle at her lightly. "I see you've
grown an attitude. Perhaps coming back home helped. Or should I say
*running* back"
"What are you doing here?"She asked swallowing her tears. Darien
watched her straighten her back and look at the boy square in the eyes.
Who was he? "Why don't you go back where you came from? Leave me alone"
"Now why would I do that to my FAVORITE dancer?"He asked maliciously
and touched the side of her cheek with his finger. Julian flicked his
eyes at Darien quickly. "I see you've found a new flavor of the month.
I knew a girl like you would have no problem finding a guy"
"I'm not like that. I was NEVER like that", she said. "Now GO AWAY"
Julian move his mouth to her ear.
"I know you didn't tell him about what happened. Do what I say and I
won't. Remember I tell the story much better than you. After all didn't
your own friends not believe you?"He whispered. Serena pulled back
slowly and look him in the eyes. What he said was true. She was
trapped.
*********************************************************************
"What is going on?"Raye asked demandingly with a glare as they sat in
studio. There was definite pall over the studio and she had the
suspicion that it had something to do with the blond haired sullen
looking boy who was stretching in the corner. A few other dancers were
there, some looked new but Serena was no where to be found. "I feel
some weird vibes around here"
"Ditto", Mina said looking around. Looking at the others she saw that
Darien looked somewhat confused, sad also. "Hey what's wrong?"
"You see that guy? Two days ago when I was here with Serena, he came
and started to talk to Serena. They was something threatening in his
voice and after he whispered something in her ear. When he left she
refused to talk about it and left the studio."
"Maybe she really needed to get out of here", Lita suggested trying to
find the best of the situation.
"I don't think so", Darien said with a sigh. "You think if she was late
for something she'd at least remember to get her coat. She walked out of
here with ballet shoes on and a leotard" Now that was WEIRD. They all
silenced when they saw Serena come toward them. The change in her was
evident. Dark circles were around her eyes and her lips were as pale
as fresh snow. Her skin was even whiter, not even a bit of red on it
but her eyes were noticeably dull. She even looked thinner though they
had only seen her two days ago. Some of the other dancers had began to
laugh at her appearance.
"Okay let's get started", she said wearily. "Everyone begin stretches"
"HEY SERENA!"Someone yelled. Serena turned and a piece of white cloth
hit her straight in her face. Darien felt his anger rise. He saw that
many of the dancers were looking cynically at her and laughing. Serena
held the cloth out and saw that it was a ripped leotard. A beautiful
silk one; her father had given it to her for sixteenth birthday. Her
eyes filled with crystalline tears. Miss Yoshio put a hand to her mouth
and went over to a group of giggling girls.
"WHO DID THAT?!"Raye yelled angrily. "If you have enough guts come out
here!" The young man who had been stretching came over to them and put
a hand on Serena's shoulder.
"That was a beautiful leotard" He shook his head and smily cynically.
"You see what people can do to you when they learn the truth. I just
had a talk to a few of those girls a day ago and now LOOK what
happened"
"Leave her alone", Darien said suddenly. He stood next to Serena whose
shoulders had begun to slumped.
"You don't know her", Julian said with venom in his voice. "Maybe I
SHOULD tell you. A story. How about the one of a girl named Serena-"
"STOP", Serena said with defeat in her voice. She put a hand on his
shoulder and looked down. "Don't worry yourself Darien. I'm alright"
**********************************************************************
Two weeks passed and Serena could barely lift her head to acknowledge
whether it was day or night. She didn't care. She didn't care if no
one noticed she was alive. When she had went to the studio a week
earlier to collect her things she had found no need to. Someone had
ransacked her locker. They had thrown her leotards outside in the mud,
Miss Yoshio had found them and mournfully gave them to her. They had
also thrown everything she had in there including...her locket. When
she had left the studio the night before in shame she had forgotten it.
It tore her heart when she had found it crushed and no longer playing
it's melody. As she walked out of the locker room someone had decided
to torture her even more and tripped her. She heard the sickening thud not
realizing it was her. To her shock there stood Darien and the others.
She had forgotten they had lessons that day. Serena ran all the way
home and her head throbbed with pain. The doctors said that the
concussion would heal soon. Tears filled her eyes and she drew her
blanket closer to her. Her bed was the safest place she had now.
"Serena?"Ilene said as Ken followed her in. "Baby do you need
anything?" She shook her head and they both sat on her bed.
"No mama", she softly, her voice filled with sadness.
"Serena I wish you would get up. You've been in bed for almost
two weeks. You don't wanna die in this bed do you?"Her father said
jokingly.
"I don't care whether I live or die", she answered back and they were
taken aback by her answer. Ilene put a hand on her mouth to suppress
her cries. How her child suffered. She wished that Serena was still
a child so that she could rock her in her lap and assure that things
would be okay.
"Don't say that", Ken said and took her hand. "Don't you EVER say that"
He felt his own heart break. "Fight back Serena." It seemed so simple
to everyone but her. She was weak. She knew it and suddenly the decision
was clear. This was for her family, her friends and Darien...oh how she'd
missed him. But Serena knew deep in her heart it was for her. She
was selfish. She was also fleeing.
"Momma, Dad I've made a decision"
**********************************************************************
Looking through the department store Raye and the others tried to lead
a normal day. However deep inside they knew that all they could do was
worry about Serena. It flashed painfully in their minds as they relive
the sight of Serena on the ground in obvious pain. Raye had almost
killed the girl who did it but she stopped when she saw the pain in
Darien's eyes. He felt Serena's pain like fresh wound. Serena had been
avoiding him since that Julian person had come to the studio. Raye felt
however that Serena was in trouble, more trouble than they thought.
"Is anyone having fun yet?" Raye asked sadly and sat on a displayed
couch.
"What do YOU think?"Mina responded and sat next to her. Oh God she
couldn't get Serena's face out of her mind. The pain in her eyes was
so evident. It brought tears to her own eyes, which she wiped quickly
away. "Guys I think it's time we tried to talk to Serena"
"She's right. Giving a few days off isn't helping", Ami said quietly.
"Plus I miss her"
"Me too. She's one of us. It's like we're missing a piece", Lita said
agreeing. "Hey isn't that her brother?" They turned to see Sammy
walking out of the store with a new piece of luggage. "HEY SAMMY!" He
turned to see four REALLY cute girls running towards him. Was this his
lucky day or what? Or what. "Is Serena with you?"
"No, actually she's at home...packing", He said hesitantly. They looked
at him in shock.
"Packing? What are you talking about?", Ami asked. Obviously his sister
had not told them. He fully understood. The pain his sister endured
hurt him though he hated to admit. Sometimes he wanted to rush over
to the studio and mangle that guy Julian.
"My sister is leaving Tokyo. A school in New York has been scouting
her and she decided to accept", Sammy explained. He wished he could
tell Serena not to go but if she stayed here it might kill her. She
suffered enough.
"WHEN?"Raye demanded to know.
"Tommorrow"
************************************************************************
Darien sat on his couch and lazily lifted the bottle to his lips. He
never drank before or even got as loaded as he was now but well the
last time he even got near a bottle he wasn't miserably in love.
Looking at his coffee table he saw that he had drunk more than he had
expected or maybe he was having one of those illusions-
"DARIEN! ARE YOU IN THERE?!"Raye bellowed from outside. Awkwardly he
got up and crookedly walked to the door. Opening the girls gasped at
his haggard sight. Darien's face looked haggard because of the facial
hair that he neglected to shave and the dark circles under his eyes
which were also VERY bloodshot. He wore only his boxers and a tank top
which were very dirty looking. "What the hell happened to you?"
"I'm SO wasted", Darien said with a grin.
"I read of a recipe to sober people up maybe I should try it", Ami
suggested.
"Go ahead", Mina said and stepped aside. Ami walked up to him and-
*SMACK! * She delivered a hard slap to Darien's face. "That
should wake him up"
"What the hell was that for?!", Darien demanded and rubbed his face.
"Why are you guys here? Can't a guy just be miserable by HIMSELF?!"
"Darien, Serena's leaving", Lita said bluntly. That woke him up.
"She's what?!"He said loudly. "Where?"
"New York", Mina informed him. "And she's leaving TOMMORROW"
"I've gotta stop her!"He said and ran to get his coat when Mina
grabbed him from the back of his shirt.
"Wait a minute. Not like THAT. You didn't even brush your teeth. You
won't even get pass her lawn looking like that", Mina told him. "Go
take a shower"
"Shave", Raye added.
"Change your clothes", Lita said.
"And think of something that's not incredibly stupid to say to her", Ami
told him. "Now GO" Without another word Darien ran to his bathroom.
"You think he'll convince her?"Raye asked Mina. Crossing her fingers
she nodded.
"Yeah he will. I HOPE he will", Mina answered with a sigh.
**********************************************************************
Serena closed the suitcase with one last push and sat down next to it
with a sigh. Taking her ticket from the top of the dresser she stuffed
it in her purse along with her passport. She tried to hold back her sobs
when suddenly she heard the sound of someone running up the stairs. With
a BANG Darien opened the door and then closed it. The feeling that she
was falling came over Serena and she put a hand on the bed to support
herself.
"D-Darien, what are you doing here?"She asked shakily. He took a look
around her room and saw that it was in disarray. The room was silent,
all that was heard was the sound of their breathing.
"It's true. You're leaving", Darien said with a sad look in his eyes.
It was melancholy and she saw that deep in the corners of his eyes were
tears. "Why? Is it because of Julian?"
"Yes", Serena answered slowly. "It's something you wouldn't understand"
She heard the rain begin to pelt the window. She dreaded this day.
"Then by all means please explain to me", Darien said softly. Getting up
she walked up to her window and watch the rain fall. It was inevitable.
"When I was young dancing was my world. I ate it, I drank it, I was in
love with it. So when I turned fourteen I went to England to study
dancing, that's where I met Julian" She stopped and tears filled her
eyes remembering the feeling she once had. The joy she felt with her
life in England. "He was the best dancer and I was the best so it was
automatic that we would get together." The tears fell streaking her
cheeks. "It was nice at first. And I was very much in love with him
and I trusted him but once I said NO he betrayed me. He told everyone
in school that I slept with people to get the leads in ballets. That
I couldn't get a part without being easy" Serena leaned against the
alcove of the window. "I WASN'T EASY! " Crying she turned to look at
him. "And no one. Not even my friends believed me. Julian made sure
my life was a living hell. People would pull pranks on me like
tearing up my leotards or throwing all the things in my room out the
window. And then it got worse until no one was talking to me and I was
alone. Sometimes I'd be on stage and they'd throw things at me. I hung
around only because I loved to dance and it was the best school. Until
one day when I was dancing someone slipped water on the stage and I
fell" She paused and look back at the rain. "I broke a part of my hip
and the doctors said I'd never dance again. Julian of course visited
with my so called friends and they were nice enough to spend a day
making fun of me calling me a cripple" She closed her eyes and the
tears that filled her eyes cascaded down her sad face. "I've proved
them wrong. I spent half of my fourteen-year-old life trying to dance
again. I couldn't face them so I came home and I was lucky to get a
job at Miss Yoshio's studio" The rain stopped and Serena saw that
above the clouds a bit of the night sky was revealing itself. "I
promise myself that I'd never trust anyone but my family again. And I
didn't care if I ever fell in love or made another friend in my life.
I wouldn't be hurt again." She turned to look at him and a soft smile
came to her lips. "Until I met you" She walked up to him and look into
his eyes which were also wet. "You and your friends had decided to take
lessons. And you had no coordination and I insulted you and I teased
but after the lessons were over I found myself watching you from the
studio window. You'd practice for hours just for me. And I couldn't
help but let you into my heart and let your friends in too. And I
fell in love with you when I told myself not too. You made
me love you in spite of the fact I didn't want to. That must mean
something"
"Then don't leave. You have to be strong", he said determinedly. "I
know you can"
"But I'M NOT STRONG!"She sobbed. "I'm weak and I know it. If I stay
here I won't survive!"
"HE PUT THAT IN YOUR HEAD! YOU'RE ONLY LETTING YOURSELF THINK THAT AND
IF YOU KEEP THINKING THAT THAN YOU ARE WEAK!"Darien screamed at her.
"I won't stand here and let that happen"
"I'm leaving and there's nothing you can do about it", she responded.
"I can't fight and though I'm ashamed of it under the circumstances
there's no other thing to do but run. You'll find someone else I'm
sure of it" Her heart was breaking.
"There is always another way besides running", Darien said. "I can't
watch you walk out of my life" He kissed her forehead. "The girl I
love is a crybaby, rude and sometimes down right arrogant. She is
also very scared to face the things that she thinks are too strong for
her" He lifted her chin. "But when she smiles at me everything is okay
again. You're stronger than you think Serena" He walked towards the
door.
"No matter where I am I won't stop loving you", she said to him and he
turned to her with tear-filled eyes. "It's a funny thing you know. If
I hadn't run off I might have never met you" She put his hand to her
hand and she swallowed the sobs in her throat. "Sometimes I think that
the pain I suffered was worth it just to find you. I don't regret
anything but I wish things were different"
"I may not know much about love but I know that inside my heart we
belong together", he said with passion in his voice but he had a final
tone to it. "Once you learn how to fight for yourself you'll find your
way back to me" With that he left.
"And what if I can't learn?"She whispered quietly and suddenly she
burst into loud sobs. Outside the rain began to fall again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know this chapter is bad but please don't kill me! Just keep in mind
I'm half-crazy! :) J/P Ja!
(
geocities.com/tokyo/lights) (
geocities.com/tokyo)