Hiyee! It's meeh again! I know all of you are
getting sick and tired of me but oh well! It's
meeh JLaLa presenting you, my esteem readers
with the seventh part of my story! First of all
my apologies on all the people who scolded me for
making them cry! Gomen nasai! *JLaLa bows repeatedly*
I didn't mean too! Alrighty then, To Violet Ice and
Twilight who have been with meeh since the beginning,
thank you very, very much! To Meriellen5 who helps
me and supports meeh like any sister would do, props
to you girl! To all the people who wrote meeh, a big
hug and kiss to you from me. Your everlasting support
to me pushes me to keep on doing my thang! Love to
all of you!
I have a mailing list now! YEA! If you wanna join
e-mail meeh and I'll give you an invatation! It's
just to inform you on all my updates and where you
can find my fics! Also if you wanna recommend a fic
to anyone on the list or tell everyone bout yours
then go ahead!
I don't own SailorMoon, that for you to know.
< >=thinking
PG-13= Kids GET OUT! Juss playin!
"Where there is love there is life."
-Mahatma Gandhi
"Love has no limits and no regrets."
-Writer Unknown
"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient
unto love."
-Kahlil Gibran
Here's the little part I like to call the
"Tears In Heaven" Soundtrack. If you have
any of the songs I put in each chapter
then listen to them:
Tears In Heaven Sung by Eric Clapton
Look at Me Sung by Geri Halliwell
Last Dance Sung by Allure
Wind Beneath My Wings Sung by Bette Midler
How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.
I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I don't know where this road
Is going to lead.
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Sung by Boyz II Men
TEARS IN HEAVEN (Part Seven)
BY: JLALA (jlynpinay@aol.com)
Sitting in the booth Minako checked her watch to see how late everyone
else was. It was weird, you know. Actually being early. Well but things
change, a lot can change over a year. Since Motoki's death a shadow had
fallen over Usagi, she was no longer the same girl who had eaten
sundaes and played video games. Outside she was as beautiful as ever,
her eyes were still the luminous blue they always were but the happy
spark was gone, replace with a bittersweet melancholy that made her
look that she would burst into tears at any time. Her hair was still
long and a shiny sapphron but she no longer wore her odangos. They
were a sign of her innocence and childhood. That was gone now. Her
loveliness was at a natural high but she never noticed nor cared.
It just didn't matter anymore, Motoki was gone. Minako wiped the
solitary tear that had fallen from her face. How she missed the old
Usagi, the one laughed and smiled. When Usagi smiled it seemed
so forced now. She wished that somehow her friend would come out
of her depression. Minako did not blame her for feeling down
sometimes, since last year Usagi had more than her share of
problems. She had been kicked out of college because of her
grades. Usagi had lost her apartment, the one she had worked
her butt off for. She just couldn't pay the rent since she lost
her job. Usagi had cried the day she moved out, another lost
on her part. They were there for her though, her friend and
family. And Mamoru...
When she had been kicked out of college, he went to the dean and
begged her to keep Usagi's place in the university, he had promise
that by next year she would have grades up. He would tutor her. The
dean agreed feeling sympathy for Usagi hearing of the events that
had taken place. When she lost her apartment Mamoru moved everything
she had to her parents' house all by himself. When she lost her job
he immediately began to look for any available jobs for her. His
intentions looked brotherly but sometimes Minako would see him gazing
at Usagi with such utter devotion that it was to her undeniably love.
The others saw glimpses of it too and agreed. None of them had any
problems with it but Usagi was loyal to Motoki even in death. She
kept his picture on her dresser and everyday would visit his grave.
Usagi didn't tell anyone but Rei had saw her last week at the cemetary
and she admitted that she still visited him. They didn't know what to
do anymore. A tap on her shoulder made Minako turn to see Rei, Ami,
and Makoto.
"Hey you guys", Minako greeted them and they squeezed into the booth.
"You looked kinda distracted, anything wrong?" Makoto asked worriedly.
"Just thinking of Usagi again", she responded. "It's been a year and
she's not getting any better" Her eyes glimmered with worried tears.
"We've got to do something" Everyone nodded and tried to not let out
the tears that burned their eyelids. They wanted so badly to have to
have the old Usa back, even if it was for just a moment.
**********************************************************************
Usagi laid in bed; it was only in the late afternoon but her nights
were sleepless. Full of dreams of Motoki. Everyone of them ended up with her waking and not finding
him in her arms. She ached just to hold him. Getting up she went to
dresser and held his portrait. She was so happy back then, what
happened? In her head the thoughts whirled around in little hurricanes
makng her feel lost, confused. Tears fell from her eyes. Where was
her life going? A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and Ikuko
Tsukino walked in. Her mom gazed at her with such love and care.
"Hey baby", Ikuko said gently and they both sat on her bed. She saw
the weariness in Usagi's eyes. Kenji and her had often heard their
daughter crying to herself at night. They thought it would fade but
it didn't. "You okay? You look so tired."
"I'm fine mama", She answered and gave her a soft smile. It was a lie
and her mother knew it. Ikuko gathered her daughter in her arms.
"Usagi, I want you to go on. I cannot stand to see you so sad or to
hear you cry in your room at night." Tears fell from her eyes. "It
hurts to see you like this, please try to go on. Don't give up on
life, there's still hope. This is all I ask of you. You have to
realize, Motoki's gone." Usagi was crying fully now, she hated to
make everyone worry but she couldn't help it.
"I'm trying, I'm trying so hard", She said and hugged her mom. "But
now I'll try even harder for you"
***********************************************************************
Mamoru walked into the small clothing store that Usagi worked in.
Seeing her petite figure behind the counter, he waved to her. As she
walked to him he frowned at how thin she had gotten. Her skin was pale
and dark circles were around her eyes. Usagi must have been working
hard since it was her first job since she was fired. She looked beat.
"Hey Usako", he said calling her by his petname for her. The two had
developed a sort of kinship. But to everyone else except for Usagi
it was obvious that he had fallen in love. He never mentioned it,
there was a thin line between love and loyalty.
"Mamo-chan, what are you doing here?" She gave him a soft smile and
he felt his heart pounding out of his chest. Her smile even if it was
small was immaculate. Usagi looked weak though.
"I wanted to take to lunch...Usako are you alright?" In her head the
room was spinning. She couldn't walk. Suddenly she stumbled to the
ground and Mamoru rushed to her. "What's wrong?"
"I-I-I don't know", She cried. "Something's wrong with me! I'm just so
dizzy." She shook her head. "Don't worry I'll be alright."
"No, I'm taking you to a doctor", Mamoru argued.
"But I'm fine", she said indignantly.
"We're going and we're going NOW" Without another word Mamoru took
Usagi into his arms.
"Well...okay", she agreed and then closed her eyes falling into a
faint.
************************************************************************
Waking up in a hospital bed was something Usagi didn't expect. Opening
her heavy eyelids she looked around. The room was empty and it was
already nighttime. Goodness grief when did she get herself into this
mess, she heard the door open and Ami entered the room. Her turquoise
eyes were filled with worry for Usagi.
"I'm so glad you're okay", Ami said after a moment of silence. "The
doctor said that you're suffering from exhaustion, he said that you
were dehydrated and that he thinks you haven't been eating well"
She took her friend's hand. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?", Usagi asked and sat up.
"You're tired all the time, you hardly go out anymore and now you're in
the hospital", Ami explained. "Usagi, I understand that you're still sad
about Motoki but getting yourself sick is not the answer, it won't help
ease any of your pain. The others are worried; your family is worried,
Mamoru is worried, I'm worried. Motoki is gone, Usagi" Ami didn't mean
to say these things but she was scared, Usagi was hanging by a thread.
Their eyes met and Usagi's eyes were filled with tears. She immediately
regretted everything she said.
"I know he's gone Ami", She said in a hush voice. "I of all people know
that."
************************************************************************
She ran through the woods pushing the branches and leaves the hit her
face. As she got to her destination, Usagi sat on the ground. Tears
stained her face.
"Motoki, where are you?", She asked. "You said you'd be here."
She began to cry, she missed him more than ever and every day without
him was like a stab to the heart. Usagi felt a warm hand on her
shoulder and she turned to see Mamoru. He gave her a comforting
smile. "What are you doing here?"
"Something told me that I should come here", He answered. "What's
wrong?" She stood up and began to pace wildly.
"Everyone keeps telling the Motoki's gone!", She sobbed. "BUT HE'S NOT
GONE! HE'S RIGHT HERE!" She put her hand to her heart. Usagi looked
into Mamoru's eyes. "I can't forget him. I forget him, I lose him."
Mamoru touched her smooth face and wiped her tears.
"Just because he's gone, it doesn't mean you have to stop living. You
won't forget him Usako, he's in your heart. You never lose the people
you love", He said in a caring voice. "There's still a life for you
out there"
"How do you stop the pain?" She asked in a broken voice. They sat down
and he put an arm around her.
"You don't. But you don't welcome it. I loved Motoki as much as you
did. I know he wouldn't want you to be like this. Have fun for once."
"Fun?",She asked and raised you eyebrows. "Like what?"
"Well we can go fishing, I teach how to get a real fish instead
of a tadpole like last time", He said with a comical face.
"It was NOT a tadpole!", She argued and punched him on the arm.
"Okay more like a sardine!", He said and jumped when she prepared
to strangle him.
"Come here so I can kick your butt!", Usagi yelled and a huge grin
spread on her face. Mamoru was bedazzled; it had been awhile since
he had seen her smile.
"I surrender!", Mamoru said finally and then held out his hand.
"Congratulations you just had fun" She shook his hand and grinned.
**********************************************************************
"That over there is the Big Dipper" Mamoru pointed into the dark night
sky as he and Usagi laid on the ground. She look so beautiful, her hair
was spread out on the ground like a fan and her sweet scent lingering
the air. A bonfire blazed near them warming their toes.
"I've forgotten how beautiful the sky was or how beautiful life was.
I took everything granted, Motoki would be so ashamed of me", Usagi
said sadly and turned to look at him.
"No, he wouldn't, he'd understand why you were so sad but he wouldn't
want you to suffer, Motoki always put your happiness before his"
"I know", She answered and suddenly Usagi noticed how handsome Mamoru
was. How his hair fell over his eyes or when he smiled at her his face
lit up. She shook her head. "Mamo-chan, don't ever leave
me."
"Never", He promised and took her hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forgiveness please! *JLaLa dodges the tomato thrown at her* I know
this was a horrible chapter but I'm trying to get better! Anyways
you get just e-mail meeh and yell at me privately! Bye!
(
geocities.com/tokyo/lights) (
geocities.com/tokyo)