RPG: The Yellow Pepper
Started: By Michiru on Aug. 13, 2000
Players: Nephrite, Michiru, Duncian, Zoisite, Alexandrite, Melvin, Kunzite, Guardian, Bentaris, and Minako

Nephrite looked down at his attire and make a sour face. "You're kidding me, right? You actually expect me to cook!" He turned to face Zoisite and Kunzite and shook his head. "Why not let the youma take care of this and not go through this humiliation.

Michiru sat up in the press box excited. "Can you believe I actually won tickets to see the Iron Chefs LIVE!" she said to Minako sitting next to her. "Oh I hope the ingrident is good today. I can't wait!"

Minako eyes danced around the Kitchen Stadium excitedly, a large smile plastered on her face. "This is the BEST! I can't wait for the Challenger to pick one of the Iron Chefs. I hope he chooses Iron Chef Kobe Masahiko, I love his Italian dishes!" she exclaimed.

Jeremy remained calm and kept himself composed in the dark silent corner of the set. He stood away from anyone else, his single unscarred eye watching to make sure that nothing happened. He glanced down at his chest, for whatever reason the Heartstone had prodded him here, and for now that was enough.

"You have got to be kidding," Kunzite said with a shake of his head. "Send a youma in to face off against an experienced chef? Youma are not known for their cooking expertise. You shouldn't worry too much, Zoisite and myself both think you are an excelent cook."

"maybe if the ingredient is Peanut Butter." he muttered. "I hope you two know you will be helping and not off on the side smooching!"

Michiru nodded. "Oh but that Japanese chef, Morimoto...what a dream-boat!" she said with excitement. "I just can't wait to see what the ingredent is. I hope its something good this time."

Melvin flashed the backstage pass he'd gotten in the mail from Fuji TV. After giving it a once over, the security guard thumbed him in. "Iron Chef's two corridors down, turn right, and take the second door left." "Thanks," Melvin said. He dashed down the halls with his "kit" in a big breadbox-sized cooler. "I just hope they don't kill me for being late!" he huffed. "Hacking those passes was tougher than I thought!"

Zoisite nodded seriously as he peered up at Nephrite. "You're a much better cook than me or Kunzite, Neffy-chan! Last time I tried to make popcorn, I almost burnt down the kitchen, and you banned me from it. You have to enter and preserve our heritage. Besides," he added with a sly grin and a lecherious wink, "seeing you on the tele will be fun to watch. I've never slept with a tele star before..."

Alexandrite looked ill as he slumped into a chair. Putting his feet up before him, he stared at the Kitchen Stadium. People actually watched this clap-trap? Disgusting. Yawning softly, he dug through his pockets for some of his crystals. At last he could collect some energy while he was here.

"Glad to know I have such great support behind me." Nephrite muttered.

"And now entering kitchen stadium are the challenegers. Reigning from High Okau Resturant are the three main chefs. Each chef has his own special skill in the kitchen and has issued a challenge to three of our four Iron Chefs. An interesting battle indeed. In the Brown is Chef Neph-o-ri, head chef of Japanese. In the Green is Chef Zoi, a favorite of all the ladies with his delicate hands in the field of pasteries. And finally in the White is Chef Malzite, who is the head coach to all the chefs at High Okau." the announcer said as the current opened to reveil the three, very nervous challengers.

Nephrite turned on heel and looked dead at Kunzite. "What the hell did you tell these people!?" he demanded.

Zoisite blinked as they were thrust into the spotlight, staring blankly at the entire crowd. Stagefright snared him up in icy hands. Clad in sparkling emerald green, all he could do was try not to whimper under the glare of the stagelights and the people staring at him. Pastry chef? Who were they kidding? Zoisite couldn't make Pop Tarts without setting the toaster on fire.

Shaking his head, Kunzite grabbed Nephrite by the arm and pulled him out into the spotlight. "What they wanted to hear," he hissed. "Don't worry I have a plan." Smiling coldly, he snagged Zoisite's hand and gave it a squeeze before bowing before the people, hoping that the other two would follow suit.

Minako watched the challengers curiously, looking slightly puzzled. "Those three don't look like master chefs at all... and they're awfully familiar..." she said to Michiru, wondering if this was some kind of joke.

Following Kunzite's example, Zoisite bowed as well, trying a weak smile. Of course, the crowd loved it. With someone as angelic as him and as small dressed up in a green chef's uniform, he looked like a little kid playing. At least they were amused. Clutching the ice king's hand for encouragement, he glanced up at the other two kings to see just what was going on.

Michiru was on her feet cheering. "Wow, what a hottie!" she cried looking on. "I never knew chefs could be so cute... well there is Morimoto-sama." she said and went off on a tagent about cute chefs, not even paying attention to what Minako had just said.

Nephrite bowed as the Chairman of Iron Chef's came foward with his greeting. he didn't even hear half of what was said.

"I summon.. Iron Chefs." was called out. A choir of angelic singers started and three chefs started to rise from the floor into the kitchen. each one had the look of death on his face. The first, Iron Chef French held a yellow pepper in his hand. the second, Iron Chef Japanese held only his belt with a look of determination. And finally Iron Chef Chinese held a very large clever in his hands. The Iron Chefs took their side of the stadium without a word and waited.

"Because of such a unique challenge I figured a very unique ingredient should be used. A very expensive ingredient that I'm sure you all would enjoy. And now..we Unviel the Ingredient!" the chairmen shouted. A puff of smoke lifted from the ground and a table holding the ingredient assended into the kitchen.

Nephrite's mouth went down in shock. "I don't believe it." Raising a bored eyebrow at the special ingredient, Kunzite refrained from laughing his head off. The look on Nephrite's face was esquiste, he almost wished he could have recorded it to play over and over when feeling depressed. ~Nephrite and Zoisite, listen up. Your cooking instruments have been enchanted to cook, all you have to do is follow their lead and look like you know what you are doing. We'll strike as soon as their guard is down. You've got that?~

The chairman smiled at the chef and announced for all to hear. "Belgium Chocolate."

Michiru looked at the chocolate and her mouth started to water. "oh wow... Chocolate. I can't believe it! I need to take notes, Darien Loves Chocolate!"

Nephrite nodded to Kunzite. "I'm no good at desserts, but we'll see what we can do. Zoe, go get me a large ham and then also a few good looking fish." he ordered. The first gong sounded and he rushed up to the platform to get his share of the chocolate, the other three Iron Chef's hot on his heels.

Minako yanked Michiru back down with her into their seats, being that they were the only ones left standing. She stared down at all the chocolate, smacking her lips. " That's all well and good Michiru, but how are they going to cook dinners with chocolate?" she asked, watching the Iron Chefs pile their trays full of the ingredient.

Michiru sat back adn let the question sink in. "I have no clue." she muttered.

Nephrite started barking orders to the sue chefs around him. He took the chocolate and started melting it in a pot. "Zoe, when this is finished, baste the ham with it and stick it in the oven." he said and moved to another part of the stove. Looking at Kunzite he said. "Get some truffles and something green. I don't care what, garnish or something and make a plate look pretty."

Kunzite rolled his eyes. "Already got it," he huffled, holding up a platter of ingrediants grabbed from the shelf. "Just relax, will you. We are suppose to act like professionals here." Picking up a green apple, he started craving it into a rose with delicate, precise cuts of a paring knife. "We'll strike at the third gong."

Nephrite nodded. "I know, but this is harder than it looks." he replied.

The announcer came over the PA system. "And that's the first gong, fifteen minutes has passed. And lets take a look at what the Iron Chefs are doing. it seems that iron Chef Japanese has taken all the chocolate and put it into a large stewing pot. We don't know what this will be used for, but we're certain it will come out great. Iron Chef Italian has started on a beef dish with fresh vegtables and pasta. I think the chocolate will be a dip served on the side, seasoned with other elements to make it not so sweet. And finally Iron Chef French is working on what looks to be a giuantic cake. WOW..would you look at that. The entire cake is Chocolate, I mean he's just carving it out of the side." "And now to the challenger's side. It seems we have one challenger that's lost. Another one taking his time cuting apples and the final... wow what a wreck he must be, trying to keep up with three things at once."

Melvin took a deep breath. Time for the first wave. "Lice, get ready. Under their hats!" Pretty soon after, the lice crept out from under the counters, up the sleeves of the Iron Chefs, and worked their way up to the backs of their necks to the hairline scalps.

Last apple rose done, Kunzite walked casually up to the chocolate and took as much as he needed before returning to his little area. Ignoring the frantic Nephrite's mutterings, he nudged Zoisite to get moving, then concentrated on what he was doing. Nephrite had choosen to make the main dish, so he'll make the side. The apples were coated with the chocolate and set in the oven for a quick warming up while he started ont he rest of the dish, a hot sour soup that would contrast nicely with the sweet apples.

The Iron Chefs each started taking off their hats, but didn't scratch their heads... even though it was obvious they wanted it.

Nephrite started on the next dish..a sweet and sour soup with chicken and pork. he added chocolate to the broth to give it the sweet taste and looked for somethiing for the sour.

A streak of chocolate was on Zoi's cheeck as his magic tools were beginning to piss him off. "No," he said through clenched teeth, "I want to make a mousse, not a pie! Stop rolling!" he whispered, trying to grab his tools and make them behave. After a few seconds, he whipped up some eggs and chocolate, and threw what he hoped to be sugar into the mixing bowl. After that, he began beating it with a spoon and a whisk with a ferocity that was usually reserved for other sweet pleasures.

Melvin nodded, wishing the Iron Chefs' discomfort was a little more visble. He decided to make it so. "Okay, wave two! Fire ants, up the pants!" Little red fire ants then crawled out from under the appliances and worked their way up the shoes from the side and up the legs of their slacks, taking care to stay on the fabric, not the flesh, so they weren't felt. But once they made it up to the beltline, they hopped on and started biting.

A loud gong sounded through the audience. "And there's the halfway gong. Let take a look at the challenger's side first. "It seems that the candied apples came out great, but the mousse and souffe aren't turning out as planned. Maybe too much sugar? And the Ham, still cooking. I'm thinking the chef is going to put some chocolate on top of that. And on the Iron Chef's side...oh my. The Iron Chefs are stripping. Time to cut to a commerical!" the announcer said.

The Iron Chefs ran quickly out of the arena taking off their pants as they went.

Nephrite watched in amazement. "Does that mean we win by default?" he asked.

Michiru smiled brightly. "Wow...I didn't know they were THAT well hung!"

Zoisite's green eyes widened as the Iron Chefs made their quick exit off-stage. Distracted from his cooking, the little sakura poured soy milk that was meant for a measuring cup onto Kunzite's soup.

" Is that all you think about?!" Minako asked Michiru, shaking her head. But she couldn't deny that her friend had a point.

Sighing slightly, Kunzite took the soy milk from Zoisite, and put it down on the counter. While everyone was still looking with shock at the retreating Iron Chefs, he cupped his hands and threw a energy blast at a small globe fixed in the ceiling. It pulsated once before glowing brightly, shorting out all the electricity in the building and turning off the cameras. "Youma Crockery and Spice, gather energy from the crowd!" he snapped, ripping off his disguise. "Nephrite, prevent the senshi from following us if any show up! Zoisite and myself are going for the crystal!" The utensials that they were using shuddered to a halt then snapped together, forming two large female forms. One was mostly made up of sharp objects, the other canisters of ingredants. With dark laughs, they headed for oposite sites of the stadium.

Melvin kept a natural shocked look as the Iron Chefs whipped past. "I guess I did my part," he said quietly to himself. Then when the power went out, he said, "Dismissed, guys." Right after he snapped the cooler shut, he then saw Crockery and Spice come to life as they took position. Totally frozen in astonishment, all he could utter wa, "Youma Spice? Where's Baby, Sporty and Scary?"

Jeremy fell into the shadows and into the halls following the Iron Chefs as soon as they left. Some may have thought him a gay pervert by doing it but he was more worried that someone was behind the strange behavior. When he was clear of everyone's view he whispered the two words that turned him into the Guardian and remained sunk in the shadows in pursuit of the fleeing cooks.

Zoisite blinked at the sudden darkness, but one word from Kunzite was enough. In a spring of cherry blossoms, his apron and clothes melted away to the comfortable dark gray and green trim he was used to. "Keep an eye out for that guardian idiot as well," he said to Nephrite. "I've felt an unusual energy around here besides the one were after." A moment later, Zoisite rematerialized outside the set, dead center in front of the cooks. His pink thin lips curved into a sneer. "Leaving so soon? And I thought you were supposed to be a challenge!" he laughed, sending a dark pink blast at the group.

Nephrite smiled and took off his chef's outfit. "Alright, ladies and gentleman, now its time to do some real cooking, but first I need a boost of energy!" he shouted and sent Dark Energy into the audience. "Go and collect a few lucky members of our audience to give there lives to the good of the Dark Kingdom." he said to the youma and sent them into the audience.

Michiru ducked under her chair. "I don't ever remember this happening in the show." she said, slowly getting weaker. "Minako...?"

Minako slowly sank down to the ground with Michiru, her head hanging heavily on her shoulders. " I feel so tired..." she mumbled, holding her forehead in her right hand. She knew what was going on, but she didn't have any strength to do anything.

Michiru grabbed Minako's arm. "Come on we have to get out of here.. I don't think this is going by the script anymore." she said.

Nephrite watched as the youma brought three humans to him. They were already mostly drained. He took the rest of their energy and made them into living zombies.

A single blue rose flew from the shadows and in front of the blast of energy as Guardian stepped from the shadows, "That is enough, Zoisite."

Zoisite growled as the blast was dispersed by Guardian's floral arrangement. The cooks were caught between the two, and cowered on the floor. The sakura stood his ground, and said lightly, "I could assume what you're after. If it's the same thing as us, we both have a 3 in 3 chance. But I have an idea, Guardian," said Zoisite, a smile playing on his pink slender lips. "You take one, I'll take another, and if neither have what we're looking for, we'll fight for the last one." Of course, Zoisite had no intention to fight him alone. ~Kunzite, I've cornered the iron chefs in the hallways next to the set... but that damn guardian of the senshi is here as well.~

Underneath his unnatural mask of darkness Guardian's eye narrowed, "I do not think so, Zoisite."

~I'm right behind him,~ Kunzite replied, stepping from the shadows. Hands curving into a cup, a black energy dome formed around the Guardian. "It's so nice when the enemy goes right where you want them too. Now, let's see which chef holds what we seek."

"Perfect timing, love, as always." Zoisite giggled as he advanced towards the chefs. "First, let's knock them out a bit," he said simply, holding out his gloved hands and stealing a slow wave of energy from them.

Michiur was able to slowly drag Minako out of the auditorium. "Come on.. wake up, blondie!" she said shaking her friend. "Come on I know you didn't pass out on me, we have to get some help!"

Nephrite chuckled a very evil laugh as he sent his zombies out into the audience. "Come on Senshi. Come out and fight the Dark Kingdom." he taunted.

"Aaaaaaah, that's immensely better," sighed Zoisite, and giggling like a maniac. The chefs laid prostate on the ground as Zoisite reached into his uniform jacket and pulled out a dark red stone. "My Bloodstone crystal will tell me which is which, but in the end, we can turn all three into youma." The bloodstone crystal 'pinged' and sent out a soft hum as Zoisite kneeled down and passes it over the backs of each chef quietly, stopping on the one in yellow. He let the crystal go and it began to spin in mid-air. "I think we have a winner, Kunzite," grinned Zoisite evily.

Melvin peered out the hallway towards the studio, as Nephrite and the youma rounded up and leeched away the poor audience's energy. From what he saw, all the horrors he'd endured from a schoolyard bullying seemed threatening as a Beanie Baby spider. What exactly had he gotten himself into?!

Minako blinked, her head bobbing back and forth as Michiru shook her. After a few seconds she grabbed Michi's hands and pulled them off of her shoulders. " Ok ok! I'm awake..." she said, jumping up to her feet, "Now, what's the hell is going on?"

"Good," Kunzite replied with a grin. He placed a hand palm down on the chef's back and concentrated. Dark energy surrounded his hand and premenated the flesh, pulling back the layers until a pale yellow stone could be seen. Grabbing it with his free hand, Kunzite jumped backand watched the humna twist into a new form. "Finally, the first step towards victory," he said softly, levitating to near the ceiling. "Let's give our new pet a little exercise while we take this stone to our queen."

"Right behind you," said the sakura, as he flicked a wrist at the other two prone forms. Soon, each chef was a fork, a knife, and a spoon youma. "Get rid of Guardian, there," said Zoisite, laughing, "but try to stay alive for for than a minute." With that, the sakura pressed close to Kunzite, as a swirl of cherry blossoms began to surround them.

Michiru shook her head. "I don't know some weird guy started spraying the audience with black stuff, and we almost passed out. Minako, maybe you should get out of here and try to get some help." she suggested fingering her henshin in her pocket slowly.

Minako nodded slowly, about to agree with Michiru. But then she realized that she should be the one staying, especially since she was a senshi. She shook her head stubbornly, pointing towards the door. "I can handle it, I think you should go and get some help, you're a faster runner then me anyway," Minako said, trying to convince Michiru to go so she could transform.

Michiru was about to argue, but knew that arguing was taking away precious time that she needed to fight. "Alright, take care." she said and sprinted off down the hallway. "PeaceKeeper Power, Make-UP!" she cried once she was away from the rest of the audience and other prying eyes.

Nephrite completed his gathering of energy. ~The audience is comepletely drained dry. Do you need any help, or should I just meet you back in the Dark Kingdom?~ he asked Kunzite.

~Meet us at the Dark Kingdom,~ Kunzite replied, making sure that both generals could hear him. ~We can report our sucess and have a victory celebration in my abode afterwards. We'll leave the youma to take care of any senshi that'll show up.~ Tightening his arms around Zoisite as the teleportation took them away, he let the shield around the Guardian drop. ~I do hope that Beryl enjoys the rest of the show.~ he added lazily, as the youma moved towards the Guardian hacking away at the stone floor.

Nephrite smiled and teleported away with his porition of the days treasure. Enough energy to summon a hord of youma from the Dark kingdom and a crystal. This was a very good day.

Sailor PeaceKeeper ran back to the set at top speed. She stopped when she saw the youma in front of her. "PeaceKeeper Blast!" she cried. The pulsing light headed stright for the youma and caged him. "Excellent. Now, what do I do to him ow that he's in the cage?" she wondered.

Nerve broken, resolve shattered, and bowels released, Melvin ran for the exit as hard as his little legs could take him. "I don't want to do this anymore!" he shrieked. He realized that Argocite's bosses were no improvement; in fact in some ways they were worse than his immediate leader. He fled, counting his part done, whether it was or not.

Inside the Dark Kingdom, Zoisite couldn't help but leap in the air and give a loud laugh. "We practically took candy from those senshi babies! This is too rich, Kunzite!" giggled the younger general as he slowed himself down and sat in the air, crossing his legs. "If all the crystals are this easy to catch from now on," said Zoisite, spinning his Bloodstone on one finger, "the Dark Kingdom will overrun Japan by the end of the month!"

Guardian held his ground, his eye leveling on the youma as he drew his blade and whispered, "Imperium Spirit Cut." The blade glowed a faint blue as he thrusted the blade for the youma's head.

Peace Keeper heard a commotion behind the stage. "This one's not going anywhere, lets go check it out." she said softly. She rounded the corner just in time to see the Guardian send his sword into the youma's head. She sighed with relief until the youma turned back into the Iron Chef and fell to the floor in a bloodied pulp. Peace Keeper brought her hands to her mouth trying to refrain from screaming. Tears streamed down her face as she looked back at the Guardian with fear in her eyes.

Guardian tuned towards the scream as he wiped the blood from his blade on the wall. He did nothing and simply turned and started to walk away. He hadn't wanted them to learn the horrors the Dark Kingdom could do to humans by turning them into youma. He hadn't wanted them to see the end of this fight, yet just the same it was too late for regrets. *They need to learn anyway,* was all he thought as he headed for the door.