She paced outside the door. She knew she should not pace. It had been a bad habit of hers in her younger days when she had not been able to control her emotions, just another sign of her present turbulent emotional state. She remembered very clearly standing in the office of her mentor on vulcan, an elderly priestess named T'Lar, and being scolded for pacing outside the door. She made her feet stop there erratic movement and stepped up to the door. It still took her a few seconds to press the chime.
Seconds later the door opened and Captain Archer stood there, still in his uniform. He smiled when he saw her, his best diplomatic smile. Not showing emotions herself she could better analyse the emotions of those around her and this was the smile he used when he didn't particularly want to see the person he was smiling at.
"May I speak with you?" she asked formally.
"Sure, come in."
He stepped back into his private quarters. She followed slowly. She did not like being in other peoples personal space. It made her nervous. The reason she was here mad her even more apprehensive.
Archer sat down on the bed and gestured for her to sit at the desk. She did, trying not to show emotion. It was becoming increasingly difficult. She wondered absentmindedly what the captain would have thought had he seen her pacing outside a few minutes ago.
Talking about this was very awkward for her. Vulcans did not easily discus personal matters with none vulcans. However her current circumstances made it inevitable that she should have to.
"It is a personal problem," she informed him.
"Go on."
"Vulcans mate once every seven years. We call this pon far. During this period we must either mate of die. My pon far will soon be upon me."
She didn't know how to continue. She watched his face. He looked shocked, then slightly embarrassed.
"How soon?"
"Most likely within the week."
He seemed to contemplate this. She hopped her meaning was clear to him. She did not have much experience with vulcan mating rituals.
"You'll need to find someone on the ship?"
She nodded.
"How about Trip?"
Three simple words. In any other circumstance at any other time they would mean nothing to her but now in her delicate emotional state she came very close to loosing control. She didn't doubt he knew what she was asking. He had refused her.
"I know he has a thing for you." Archer continued. "You seem to have something going on between the two of you."
"I will consult with him about it."
Without another word she rose and left, leaving a very confused Jonathan Archer in her wake.
~*~*~*~
That night she lay sprawled out on her bed looking at the ceiling. She couldn't focus her thoughts and her mediation session had needed to be very intense just to create her normal level of control over her emotions.
She had followed the Captains advice and spoken to Commander Tucker about the Pon Far. He had seemed thrilled at the prospect of mating with her. She didn't know why. She presumed it had something to do with the rumours he had heard. She knew there were many untrue rumours of humans told on vulcan so she guessed there must be equally exaggerated ones on earth about Vulcan.
He should surface for her needs during her urges. She wished she could return to vulcan to her chosen mate but when she had chosen to remain on Enterprise she had been aware of the closeness of her pon far and that she may not be able to return to Vulcan. Of course she had misread the Captains actions.
In a Vulcan his way of acting towards her would mean he was interested in mating with her when instead, it seemed, it was commander Tucker who was interested. She would not have anticipated this as he seemed to spend a great amount of time yelling at her. Maybe humans were more primitive then she had come to expect if that was how he communicated his desire to mate. She rolled onto her side and tried to sleep. Under normal circumstances sleep came easily to her but tonight it didn't.
~*~*~*~
Trip approached Jon's quarters nervously. He badly needed to talk to the Captain. He might just have made a mistake. T'Pol had asked him to mate with her. He'd said yes. He didn't know why. Sure she had a nice body but he shouldn't chose who he was going to have sex with, and from what he knew about Vulcans she would expect more then sex. He didn't even like her that much. She was stuck up and the whole no-emotions thing gave him a headache.
He rang his friends door and it opened immediately.
"Let me guess," Jon said. "This is about T'Pol."
"How did you know?"
"She told me all about it."
Trip was a bit shocked. He knew Vulcans liked to keep things like this secret, it wasn't the sort of thing she would go telling around.
"Are you ok with it?"
"I think so.... I'm not sure. I don't know what to do Jon. She's sexy and all but..."
"Don't think you can keep up?" Jon teased gently, smiling. This made Trip smile to. He was uncertain about mating with T'Pol, at least he probably couldn't knock her up, even though judging from his past experiences with aliens he should be more worried about getting knocked up himself. And he'd already promised her. If she'd picked him out of all the men on the ship she must really want him.
~*~*~*~
They were in Jon's ready room when she summoned him. She sounded desperate. THey had already arranged for him to be able to leave his post at any time she needed him. In a way Jon envied his young friend, T'Pol was certainly one hell of a woman. He wondered if Trip realised that. He wondered if Trip would respect her and treat her right. He knew women came and went in Trip's life very fast, he didn't want T'Pol to be just another notch on his belt.
~*~*~*~
My god she's good. I was barely in the door and she jumped me. I didn't even get to kiss her, she just pulled of my uniform and was on me. It was actually quite frightening, what if I didn't perform? I think I did though. Pretty well to, she's asleep. I wonder how long this will go one. I don't really want to miss out on time with Jon...
Jon, my best friend. Best friends. Bestfriend. Bstfriend. Bsyfreind. Boyfriend. From best friend to boyfriend in 5 easy stages. Not that I'd ever let Jon in on thoughts like that.
Shit, I've just had the best sex in my life and all I can think of is Jon. Not that he isn't nice to think about, his boyish smile and enthusiasm, his lean muscular body, his ass...
But I cant think like that. I'm Trip Tucker, the epitome of manlyhood. Women galore all around. Never had a less then straight thought in my life.
Then why am I so attracted to Jon?
~*~*~*~
I burn. I held myself as long as I could as my mother explained to me when I was young that it is best to hold it in for a long as possible then fewer sessions are necessary. I held it in, I let it go. Why am I still on fire. The fires should have been quenched for a while. Maybe I just need it a few more times. Maybe it is me. Maybe there is something wrong with me.
I will ask him again and see if he can quell the fire, if not it will be clear I have made a bad choice. I attempted a mind meld with him a few days ago but he wasn't able to maintain the link. Mind melds help us to calm our thoughts during the frenzy of mating. Maybe it is the lack of mental contact that leaves me burning.
~*~*~*~
Three days passed for the crew of the Enterprise. T'Pol continued to call on Commander Tucker frequently and more and move often he found his thought turning to Jon. Jon, meanwhile, seemed to spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about T'Pol. THat was why, just after Trip returned to the bridge, he decided to visit her.
He paused for a second outside her door, wondering if he was doing the right thing. He was relatively sure it was safe to be around a vulcan in Pon Far but you never knew until you put it to the test.
He sounded the chime and a few seconds later the door opened. T'Pol was dressed in her off duty clothes, he had seen them a few times before and they made her look very exotic. She stepped aside and he entered.
"I was wondering how you were." he said. She just stared at him, here eyes were like deep pools, drawing him in.
"There is a problem."
"What?"
"My mating with Commander Tucker is....unsatisfying." He noticed she was breathing heavily. She took a step closer to him.
"He has been unable to forfill my physical or mental needs."
"HAve you spoken to him about it?"
"There is no time. I BURN." She said the last word with such force he was surprised. THere must be real problems if she was that angry.
"I need you, Jon."
He caught her meaning straight away. But he couldn't...he wouldn't. He couldn't betray his best friend like that. But she was so intoxicating. He felt like he was drowning in her eyes.
Slowly she reached out and took his hand. He felt like he couldn't resist her, even though he knew in reality he just didn't want to. He wanted her to lead him over to the bed, he wanted to have sex with her.
"We must attempt to establish a mental link."
He nodded and she reached out and lay her fingers on his face. She began to speak but her words grew distant as he opened his mind to her.
Then he could fell him in his thoughts. It was strange, it wasn't as if he could see her in his mind, he just knew she was there. There was no tingling or any other sensation that authors liked to associate with mind to mind communication, he just knew she was there.
*Can you hear me?*
*Perfectly*
*Try to relax. The link will help me focus my emotions, to maintain control for longer*
Quite abruptly he opened his eyes and they were both back in the really world, even though he could still feel her. THen they began to mate.
~*~*~*~
I was correct about mating with Commander Tucker being a mistake. My bond with Jon is much more satisfying. He was able to maintain the mind meld. I can still feel him which is a good sign. I no longer burn. I may now have the time to explain to the Commander why he was not suitable. I hope he is not to greatly offended.
~*~*~*~
Trip was rather surprise when Jon contacted him, asking to meet him and T'Pol in her quarters. He wondered what Jon was doing in there. From what he knew no-one should be around T'Pol when she was experiencing her Pon Far but him.
He didn't let it worry him to much as he approached the door. He rang and Jon let him in. T'Pol was there, sat at her desk chair, she looked rested and almost in control. Jon looked a lot better then he had for the past few days to, but both of them had very seriously looks on there faces. Trip immediately began to worry, not for himself but for Jon.
None of them said anything for a moment. It was clear T'Pol and Jon didn't really know how to say what it was that was bothering then and he didn't know so he couldn't help them out. It must be something really big if they were having this much trouble talking about it.
"There have been some unforeseen problems," T'Pol began. "With our mating. You were unable to sustain the mind meld, you thought are to erratic and I needed a more stable companion."
She was looking at Archer. It clicked into place. He couldn't stay. He turned and walked out the door.
He heard someone following him. He kept his head down but it didn't help, he was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be anywhere but here. He slowly turned and looked into his friends eyes.
"I'm sorry Trip, if I'd known you cared about her that much I would have said no, pushed her away. You my best friend and I don't want to hurt..."
"It wasn't her that was the problem, I don't really lover her. Hell, sometimes I don't even like her. I love YOU Jon."
Jon really didn't know what to say about that. His hand fell of Trip's shoulder. He had been friends with Trip for as long as he could remember, the had been to school together.
"How long?" he asked.
"Pretty much since we were 21, when we went to starfleet and you were the only person I knew. I probably loved you before then but that was when I realised it."
Jon just stood there. How could he let his friend down nicely. He loved Trip as a friend, but that was all. He'd never even thought of Trip as anything more then that. And now this thing with T'Pol, it was unlike anything he had ever felt before, she made him feel so alive. And he could still feel her in his mind. A soft reassuring presence. It was like when you knew someone was stood behind you even when you didn't turn around to see them.
"Apparently Trip didn't expect an answer. He looked at Jon and knew it wasn't going to happen. He turned and walked of down the corridor and this time Jon made no attempt to stop him.
~*~*~*~
Jon slowly made his way back to T'Pol's quarters. Thoughts were buzzing around in his mind. How could Trip love him. TRIP? Trip was about the straightest person he knew. The guy was always with one woman or another.
He stepped into her quarters and she was waiting. She was still in his mind and had sensed his confusion. She wrapped her arms around him and he lent his head on her shoulder.
Gently she reached out for his mind and he let her in. THey stood there silently feeling each others thought for a long time. Finally Jon drew away and the link fell to the back of his mind, ready to be activated again should it be needed.
He gently lent down and kissed her on the lips. She parted her lips for him and he deepened the kiss.
"I should go and talk to Trip."
"Maybe, maybe it would only make it worse."
"Maybe," he agreed, smiling. "Maybe I should stay here."
"Maybe you should."
He let thought of Trip drift from his mind and concentrated on T'Pol instead.
~*~*~*~
Three hours later Jon lay on the bed, T'Pol sleeping in his arms. He was happy, there was just a trickle of indecision over what to do about Trip. He knew he had to do something. He had to make it clear to his friend that he wasn't interested. He still wanted his friend, as a friend. He knew that couldn't happen now.
T'Pol stirred lazily in his arms and he reached out and stroked her hair softly. She murmured something then drifted back to sleep. Maybe his relationship with Trip would fall apart. Suddenly it didn't matter. He was happy.
~*~*~*~
Trip lay on his back staring at the ceiling. He had known when he had confessed to Jon that his feelings were one sided. He wasn't quite sure where the confession came from. He hadn't even really admitted it to himself before he found himself blurting it out to Jon.
It was so messed up. He loved Jon but Jon loved T'Pol who loved him back. He knew Jon could never love him and that T'Pol was good from him and they would be happy together, and in the end that was all that mattered ... but still he found a tear trickling down his cheek.
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