Spike walked slowly through the graveyard contemplating the mess that was his life. He had never believed he could be so happy and so sad at the same time.
“So foul and fair a day I have not seen,” he mumbled, quoting his favourite Shakespeare play, Macbeth. It was to true of his life. So fair: Buffy had been returned to him. Yet so foul: he had lost all purpose and direction in after life.
When Buffy had died he had been devastated. At first he hadn't been able to move, he had just stared at her. Then he had been overcome with rage. He wanted to run to her. To die at the merciless hands of the sun holding ‘his life’ in his arms, but Xander had held him back. Then Dawn had come running up to him in tears and begged him not to and suddenly he couldn't anymore. He couldn't hurt the nibblet. He'd promised Buffy he would protect her and he would do just that.
From that point on, Dawn had been his life. Every night he had been there with her. They'd talked or watched TV or played board games. She had moved in with Giles after Hank Summers hadn't resurfaced. Giles had been more than happy to let Spike see Dawn. He thought it was good that she had him.
Some nights they had talked about Buffy. It did make the pain worse but in a strange way it also made it better. To remember her. Often they would walk to Buffy's grave with flowers and just sit there talking to her.
When Buffy had come back he had been deliriously happy. The scoobies hadn't told him anything about there plans because they didn't want to disappoint him.
He slowly exited the graveyard and started towards Buffy's house. She and nibblet had moved back in there, trying to get back to normal. He'd expected Buffy to get mad at him when he came round to her house on the first night she had been there but instead she'd been happy to see him.
He approached her door, knocked, then let himself in. Buffy appeared at the living room door to check that it was him then nodded at him and went back into the living room. Just that one small action from her made his day. Just seeing her and knowing she was still alive made him unbearably happy.
But there was still a great sadness in him. The entire no direction thing. He didn't even know who, or what, he was anymore. First he had been William. Polite and caring. His goal in life to be a poet. Then Spike. As Spike he had put terror in the hearts of thousands. Then he had been some type of happy medium, a cross between the two. He'd existed for Buffy, then Dawn. Now neither of them needed him. He was nothing.
He stood just inside the living room, gazing into oblivion. He was nothing.
“Spike, come and sit down,” Buffy said. He turned his empty eyes to her. She was sat on the couch practically glowing. He looked around but he couldn't see Dawn.
“Dawn went to bed,” Buffy told him, as if reading his mind. “She was tired.”
She doesn't want to see me anymore, he thought. Before Dawn had always stayed up to see him no matter how tired she was.
“I’de better go,” he whispered, backing towards the door.
“Actually I need to talk to you,” she replied, moving towards him.
Alarm bells went of in his head. Why did she want to talk to him? Surely this was it. 'Thanks and all Spike but get out of my life’. He was ready for it though. His final semblance of purpose was over. It was time to end it all. Time to take a big walk out into the sun.
“I've been doing a lot of thinking lately,” she told him. “thinking about how lucky I am. How lucky I've been lately. To have Dawn and Xander and Willow and Tara and Anya and you. I'm so glad I have all of you.
“I'm so grateful to you for taking care of Dawn for me. She really cares about you, you know. She thought I was going to get stressed at you and not let her see you anymore.
“You're not?” he asked.
“Of course not,” she replied, smiling. She walked over to him and took his hand. He looked down at there joined hands uncertainly.
“I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I've realised something.”
He continued staring at there joined hands. Slowly she reached out and lay her hand on the side of his face, turning him so she could look into his eyes. Then she kissed him. He didn't know what to think. Her arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer, then he didn't think. He reached down and grabbed her ass, pulling her closer. He was sure she would hit him but she didn't. Se leaned into the kiss, parting her lips and deepening it.
Eventually she had to come up for breath and when she did she clung onto him, digging her hands into him as if she was afraid he might leave her if she her go.
“I love you Spike,” she whispered.
“I love you to Buffy.”
*****
Spike lent quietly against the kitchen counter, watching the early morning activities of the summers household. THe kitchen seemed so full of life. Buffy was hurrying about trying to get breakfast made and Dawn was rushing in and out trying to get ready for school and Buffy had to work in about 1/2 an hour, she had a job as a waitress in a small cafe on the outskirts of sunnydale.
He watched as the two people he loved most in the world rushed around him like miniature whirlwinds. His part in this morning ritual was to keep well out of the way. He was waking up more and more often at Buffy's nowadays. THey would ho out and patrol and then come home and snuggle up in bed and screw a little. Life was perfect. Of course no-one but Dawn knew about there relationship, but at least there was a relationship for them not to know about.
Dawn kissed his cheek and ran out the door shouting goodbye then Buffy kissed him firmly on the lips and followed her little sister. He sighed and set to cleaning up. Normally he wasn't much for cleaning but Buffy was always so rushed and he got yelled at if he just sat around all day and did nothing.
THe phone rang and Spike moved quickly to answer it.
“Hello, Summers residence,” he said in his best phone operating voice. Buffy told him of for it. He still did it anyway.
“Who is that?” a very familiar voice came from down the phone. Spike froze.
“Angle?” he asked.
“Spike?” the older vampire asked. There was a long silence.
“What are you doing there?” Angel asked. Spike could hear the anger in his voice.
“None of your business. What do you want?”
“If you've hurt them...”
“There fine,” Spike interrupted. “Did you just call to threaten me or is there a deeper meaning to this call?”
“Tell Buffy I'm coming and I’ll see her tonight.”
Angle slammed the phone down. Spike stood there looking at it for a moment.
“Shit.”
*****
When the door rang he tensed in his seat. Buffy smiled at him then went and opened the door.
“Buffy,” Spike heard Angel say. He tensed in his seat. Dawn looked at him from where she was sat on the floor but they both remained silent.
“Angel,” Buffy replied.
“I have some great news. Cordelia was looking through some old volumes and we came across this spell and I managed to get rid of the moment of true happiness clause.” THere was a long silence. Spike stood and went through. Buffy and Angel both looked up as he entered.
THe two vampires glared at each other then they both reached protectively towards Buffy but she side-stepped both of them.
“I think I need to be alone,” Buffy whispered.
Both vampires nodded and without saying a word left. Dawn came up to her sister.
“Buffy?” Dawn whispered. Are you all right?
“I don't know,” she replied.
*****
A few days ago it had all been so clear. She was Buffy. She killed Vampires. Her sister was the key to an interdimensional hell mouth type thing and her boyfriend was Spike. A vampire who had been a menace to millions all through his after life.
Nothing ever stayed that simple though. Angel just had to come, didn't he? Just when she was happy and getting her life together he had to come back and change everything again. No ‘moment of happiness’ clause. Well, I don't really know what to think about that. We both know it was the reason he left me. But now I can have a ‘normal’ life with him. As normal as anything is for Buffy Summers anyway. As normal as Spike, if not more so.
I should be so happy. Things could go back to how they were. I could be with the man I love.
But then again I am already with the man I love, aren't I. I love Spike. He is always good to me and treats me right. He is friendly and fun to be around and he knows exactly how to turn me into a quivering pile of Buffy jelly.
But now I might be able to have that with Angel. My first love. The man I’de said I’de love forever.
It's all so confusing. I love Angel, I really do. But I also love Spike, just in a different way. I must love one of them more that the other. I just can't figure out who I really love. Maybe I should just become a nun. Things would be a lot simpler then. I wouldn't have to worry about stupid boyfriends.
I mean, who does Angel think he is anyway, just walking back into my life like this and expecting me to welcome him with open arms. Hello. Not happening.
But anyway, I need to rest now. No way I'm going to sort this out if I don't get some rest.
*****
So, the big poofter got rid of his ‘moment of true orgasm’ clause did he? Thinks he can just waltz in here and nick mi girl. Well, he can't. Buffy’s better then that. She's not Dru. Am I forever cursed to live in that mans shadow. First were ‘touring’ Europe, and he makes me feel like I'm not part of the group. He alone knows why. Then with Dru I was always living in his shadow. He was her shire. The most important person in the world to her. I did everything in the world for her but she would have staked me in a second to make Angelus happy.
And now Buffy. My Buffy. I know he'll always be her first. The one she loves most but why must he always do this to me. Come along, just when it was so good, just when I was feeling so real, like a genuinely loved and cherished human, he comes and steals her away to.
I mean, she's going to pick Angel. No competition. Who am I anyway compared to that great poofter.
He's just what she needs anyway. Someone strong and stable. Someone who can help her with Dawn, be a big man. Not a wuss like me.
I'm gonna loose her. I'm going to loose them both. The two most beautiful and bright things in my unholy existence. Just like he took Dru from me. Damn I hate that poofter.
*****
I'm scared. This is just so not fair. I know I should be more worried about Buffy but I just keep thinking about myself and Spike. I love Buffy and everything, it's just that I love Spike to.
Since Buffy died Spike's been like a brother to me. I was so happy when they got together. I was also so glad I was the only one to find out. I know they couldn't exactly hide it but still it's fun to know a great and exciting secret that no-one else does. But now I might not anymore. That big idiot Angel might spoil it for us all.
I've always hated Angel. Had to be nice to him like ‘cause he was Buffy’s guy but I never liked him. He always seemed so miserable. He hardly ever smiled, and when he did he had a really bad smile.
Not like Spike. Spike has a lovely smile, and he's just what Buffy needs, a normal guy. Well, normalish. He's trying though. He really does love her.
I'm scared. I don't want Angel to be my big brother, I want Spike. I know it's selfish, wanting my sis to change her life just for me, but hey, I'm selfish. And if she doesn't like it then tough luck.
Oh I hate Angel so much!!!!
It's not like he ever did anything for Buffy anyway. Spike did everything for her but Angel didn't. He's just soft.
When things got hard Angel ran of, giving her some phoney excuse about a normal life. Like a slayer's ever going to have a normal life! Spike would never do that. He'll stick with us through everything.
I don't know what Spike will do if she picks Angel. She's his life. I don't know if he could stand to loose her again. I'm afraid. I'm afraid for him, I'm afraid for her. I just want this all to work out.
Please Buffy, don't kill our little family.
*****
I can't believe this. Spike and Buffy in a relationship. What happened to them hating each other? That's what's natural for an evil vampire and a slayer.
It was suppose to be so good. I’de come and tell her the good news and she'd hug me and cry and come with me to LA and we could be happy. Things are never that simple are they?
I don't know what I’ll do if she chooses Spike. I’ll kill him but I think I’ll do that anyway. I just need to calm down here. Put it all into perspective.
Spike doesn't love Buffy. Of course he doesn't. He can't love. He doesn't have a soul. This must all be one of his plans. And I bet Buffy knows. That's why she's dating him. To let him think he's won.
Or am I just delusional.
In any case I know she'll pick me in the end. She might have a thing for Spike but she truly loves me, and true love lasts forever!
*****
Buffy wandered down the street. She was going to be late but she didn't really care. There was a scoobie meeting at the magic shop she had to attend but she didn't really want to. When she got there she'd have to tell them everything.
She hadn't told them about her and Spike. Not because she was ashamed but because they wouldn't understand.
She wanted to be able to tell them. She wanted to so much but she was scared they'd hate her for it. Now she didn't have a choice. They deserved to know what was going on. The magic shop loomed in front of her. It had never seemed daunting before.
Slowly she pushed open the door and entered.
Things all seemed to be operating as usual at the magic shop. Anya was dealing with a customer while Willow, Tara, Xander and Giles sat round the table waiting for her. “Thank you for your custom, please call again,” Anya chirped happily as the customer left. She made her way over and joined the others at the table.
Buffy silently sat. They all said hi to her but she pretty much ignored them.
The meeting was conducted as all there meetings were. Nothing was happening. No big evil. There had been very few Vampires since the whole thing with Glory. Buffy couldn't help but think this was the calm before yet another storm.
“Buffy, are you ok?” Willow whispered to her. She looked at her best friend and managed a small smile.
“Not really,” she admitted.
“Wanner share?” Willow asked.
“Later,” she whispered. She was going to tell them all about what was wrong. She was. “There's something I need to tell you all,” she said suddenly, interrupting Giles in the middle of whatever he was telling them about.
“What is it Buff?” Xander questioned her. She smiled at him then sat up in her chair.
“Angel's back,” she told them, “and he's found a way to get rid of the moment of happiness clause.”
“Oh wow!” exclaimed Willow. “That's brilliant, isn't it.”
Buffy's expression remained glum. She knew she should think like Willow did. She knew she should think that this was great. She just couldn't see it that way though.
“It's more complicated then that,” she told them. “I'm kinder in a relationship.”
“Who with?” Xander asked, a concerned look on his face.
“Spike,” she whispered.
“Spike,” almost everyone around the table exploded at once. Then everyone tried to talk. Xander was yelling about how it was against the way of nature and Willow and Tara were chatting excitedly. Giles looked stunned and had collapsed in his chair and Anya was trying to get Xander to calm down.
“Can we just be quiet for a second?” she yelled. Everyone froze and looked at her.
“Look,” she whispered. “I understand you're all upset I didn't tell you or mad that it's Spike but you just need to see past this for now. I'm having such a hard time with this. Part of me wants to stay with Spike and part of me wants to go to Angel but mostly I just don't know what to think.”
There was silence over the room. They all looked at each other, trying to find the right words to say.
“You need to follow your heart,” Tara whispered. Willow nodded and took Tara’s hand. “At the end of it all it's you who's going to have to live with this decision. If you make the wrong decision then the other might not have you. You just need to think this out.”
“Yeah Buffy,” Anya perked up, “you just need to think.”
“And if you need Dawn out of your way for a few days she can come and stay with us,” Willow added.
A look of horror came over Buffy's face. “Where's Dawn?” she asked.
“We presumed she went home,” Giles told her.
“You mean she hasn't been here?” Buffy asked, panic rising.
“No,” Anya replied, helpfully.
“Don't worry Buffy,” Xander said, calmly. “We'll help you look for her. Me and Anya will go to your house. Will and Tara can check her school and there room and my house. You go to Spikes crypt.”
****
“Spike,” Dawn yelled, pushing open the crypt door.
“Hi there Nibblet,” the blond vampire responded from in front of his TV. She mad her way in, dropping her bag on the floor and went over and sat by him.
Buffy had told her to go to the magic shop after school today. She'd got into the habit of going to Spikes. She liked it more here. And besides, she needed him for a history report. “Will you help me with my History?” she asked him, flopping down on the floor.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I need to do a report on world war two. Can you help?”
“Sure Nibblet,” he told her. She pulled out a notebook and sat down next to him and he began to tell her all about it. This was exactly how they were when the door swung open an hour later.
“Dawn,” Buffy yelled.
“What?” Dawn asked, looking up from her notes.
“Why are you here?” Buffy asked, furious.
“I come her after school?” she guessed, by now having completely forgotten she was meant to go to the magic shop.
“I told you to go to the magic shop today,” she yelled.
“Sorry Buffy,” Dawn replied, remembering that she had said she'd do that.
“No, don't even think about apologising. Get out,” Dawn grabbed her books and ran out, an angry look on her face. Buffy started towards the door but Spike quickly moved to block her.
“What's wrong love?” he whispered in her ear. “You look tired. Come lay down for a minuet,” he began pulling her towards his crypt. For a second she almost went. It would be so easy. To sleep with him. To accept his love and comfort. But it'd be wrong.
“I can't,” she whispered.
“Why not?” he wined. “Dawn’ll get home all right. She's a big girl.”
“It's not that,” she whispered. She knew full well he understood, he was just pretending he didn't, as though that would make her stay with him.
“It wouldn't be fair,” she whispered, “To you, to me, to Angel.”
“Please love,” he interjected, silencing her with a kiss. “I need you.”
“I have to think,” she told him, trying to push him away. He tightened his arms around her. She looked up into his eyes and was surprised to see how much pain there was there.
“I have to go,” she whispered. His arms dropped limply to his side and she stepped away. She knew she had to say something. Something to make him believe she truly didn't know.
“It's not you, why I'm going away. I’de do the same if it was Angel. I just need to think before I do anything.
“I understand love,” he told her. Without another word she turned and walked out the door and inside Spike slumped in his chair, all hope gone.
*****
Dawn stormed through the graveyard. How could she. How could Buffy do something like that to her, to Spike? It didn't make any sense. One minute she was all like ‘oh I love Spike more then anyone’ then Angel turns up and she's all like ‘I don't know’.
Yeah, Angel was her ‘first love’. But she is so over him. She wished he would just fuck of and let them get on with it.
“Dawn,” Buffy yelled, sprinting after her.
“No,” Dawn spat. “Shut up and leave me alone!”
“Shut up and leave you alone!” Buffy yelled. “I told you not to go to Spikes. You just had to didn't you. Just ‘cause I told you not to.”
“It had nothing to do with that,” Dawn replied angrily. “I had a history paper to write. And anyway just ‘cause you can't decide who you like it doesn't mean I should just stop being around him.”
“You should do what I say!” Buffy yelled.
“Why?” Dawn asked. “You're not making any sense!”
Buffy stopped and stared at her. Why should she say that. She was her sister.
“Why do you hate me?” Dawn asked suddenly, spinning around.
“What,” Buffy asked, confused.
“For the first time since Mom and Dad started arguing I was starting to feel like a proper family. Why did you have to spoil it.”
“We were not a family,” Buffy exclaimed. “How could we be a family?”
“Well, maybe not the stereotypical little ‘white fence, two kids and a dog’ family that's all that qualifies in Buffy's world. We were a family though. And now were not. You should know I’ll never accept Angel. Spike will always be my big brother.”
“Dawn grow up,” she exclaimed. “This isn't about you. This is about me and Spike and Angel. It has nothing at all to do with you!”
Dawn just stared at her, a sad look on her face.
“You're wrong Buffy, what you do now will effect everyone you know. If you pick Angel I’ll go to LA like a good girl and not complain and be a good girl, but I wont like it. I will never think of Angel like I think of Spike.”
With that Dawn turned and staked of across the graveyard. Buffy just stood there, trying to put Dawns words out of her mind. This was her life and it was her decision and she wasn't going to let anyone influence it.
*****
It had been 3 days since Spike had seen anyone. He just sat in his crypt. He drank but only because he kept thinking of Dawn. If he let himself end here then she would probably be the one to find him.
Slowly he stirred from his chair and slunk over to the fridge. It took him a few seconds to be alert enough to realise there was no blood there.
“Shit,” he hissed. He turned and headed for the door grabbing his coat. He'd have to get some.
*****
Angel strolled leisurely through the graveyard. He always liked this graveyard for some reason. It seemed like home. Maybe this wasn't going just liked he'd planned but he was sure things would go his way soon.
He really hated Spike. That man took everyone from him. Dru and Buffy. But he would win. He held the key to Buffy's heart, just like he held the key to Dru’s.
“Speak of the devil” he whispered, for just then Buffy appeared from behind a gravestone.
“Oh, Angel,” she said, surprised. “I gotta go,” she started backing of but he stepped up in front of her.
“We need to talk,” he told her. She shook her head.
“No!” she exclaimed. “Talking is a very bad idea! We shouldn't talk at all.”
“You're right,” he replied, and with that he grabbed her and pressed his lips against hers.
“What the fuck!” Spike exclaimed, stepping into the clearing.
“It's not what you think,” Buffy exclaimed, trying to push Angel away from her.
“Like hell it's not,” the blond vampire exclaimed in rage. “What happened to ‘I’de do the same if it was Angel?”
“He just grabbed me,” she yelled.
“Yeah right,” he spat. “I don't believe you Buffy. I know I'm not perfect but still. You'd just go and throw me aside like that. You BITCH.”
“Hey,” Angel put in, shoving Spike, who had got very close to Buffy during his ranting, back. “Leave her alone.”
“Oh just shut up you big poofter,” he yelled at Angel. “But out of my life. Whenever I have something good going on for me you come and take it away.”
“I take it away? What exactly do you think you keep doing,” Angel bellowed. Just keep your filthy hands of my Buffy.”
“Your Buffy,” the blond exploded. “She hasn't been yours in a long time mate. She's mine.”
“In your dreams,” The souled vampire yelled. “We have true love, and true love conquers all.”
“Never seen true love, puppy love mate,” Spike laughed. “Anyway you hurt her to much.”
“And I suppose you'll never hurt her,” Angel mocked him, hurling him of the floor by his collar. “You're a soulless vampire, all you ever do is hurt people.”
“You're one to talk,” Spike spat.
Angel slammed him into the wall. Spike winced in pain and he smiled demonically.
“Both of you stop it,” Buffy screamed. “Don't you get it. I don't belong to either of you. I'm my own person and I’ll live my way. I’ll be with who I want to be with and at the moment it's neither of you.”
Angel dropped Spike, uncomfortable after Buffy's rage. Spike however was on the attack, he stepped right up into Buffy’s face.
“Oh just shut up. You're no bloody saint. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? You can't just keep changing your mind. One minuet you're all ‘I hate you Spike’ then it's ‘I love you Spike’ but now suddenly it's ‘I'm sorry Spike but I got a better offer and I don't love you anymore’. Do you have any idea what that does to a man? If it was me bloody messing you around then you'd stake me.”
“What I've done to you? You've done more things to me over the years than I can count!”
“Yeah, it's always you. You have it so hard. Your life is so bad. Well, I've got news for you. it isn't. The world doesn't revolve around you, I don't care if you're the slayer or not. Have you thought of anyone else when making this decision? Nibblet? Me? The great poof here? Get over yourself!”
He threw up his hands and stormed of. Buffy stood there for a second. He wasn't right. He couldn't be.
*****
The sun was beginning to set on the horizon. Buffy sat outside in the graveyard, watching it. Not exactly the most romantic place but then again Spike wasn't exactly the most romantic person. It had never bothered her. Even if he wasn't perfect he was hers. He loved her and she loved him, that had always been enough.
Now she didn't know who she was meant to like. There was Angel. Her first love, then there was Spike, her boyfriend now.
She'd been missing Spike so much since the big argument a week ago. She'd tried to tell herself she was just angry at him but she wasn't.
She'd have to come to a decision soon. She owed it to both of them. She wouldn't leave them hanging like this. The second she figured it out she'd tell them.
“What ya thinking?” Willow asked, stepping up behind her.
Buffy smiled. Willow would help her sort this out. Willow was smart, she always seemed to know what to do.
“Trying to figure out what to do about this Angel/Spike thing,” she said, sighing. “Any words of wisdom?”
“Well, I’de say follow your heart but that's a little to cliché,”
Buffy smiled. However cliché it was good advice, probably just what her mom would say, she just wished her heart would make up it's mind.
“I just don't know!” she exclaimed. “Angel abandoned me but now he's come back. How will I know he wont go again. I know Spike would never leave me. The thing with Spike might just be lust. With Angel at least I know there's goner be some sort of feeling there, there has been for so long.
“And just when I’de stopped worrying about Angel and tried to be happy again. Being with someone ‘cause I loved them, not ‘cause everyone said it's what I should do. Now Angel's back just throwing me again.
“I don't even know if Spike would have me. We had this big fight and I said a lot of really awful things to him.”
She started to cry and Willow wrapped her arms around her. Buffy was just overextended. She was having a hard time with this and it was wearing her down.
“Spike will always take you back Buffy,” Willow told her kindly. “He loves you.”
“I know,” she whispered. “Thank you Will. I think I know what I have to do. I’ll go now.”
Willow smiled then hugged her again quickly and walked of. Buffy sighed then straightened up and headed of towards Angels place.
*****
He opened the door slowly. The weight of years of horror on his shoulders. Then smiled when he realised his visitor was Buffy.
“How are you?” he asked her.
“Better,” she told him, smiling. “I've made my decision.”
“I'm glad,” he mumbled, stepping forward and wrapping his arms round her. She stood straight in his arms. Every muscle in her body tensed.
“What's wrong?” he asked her, puzzled. She had just chosen him ... hadn't she.
“I chose Spike.”
They both stood there silently. His arms dropped to his side. They looked at each other.
“I'm sorry Angel, I just don't feel that way about you any more. I love Spike.” He stood there looking at her.
“Have you told him?” Angel asked. She shook her head.
“I thought I should come here first,” she whispered. “I’de better go.”
She started to move towards the door but he grabbed her arm, stopping her.
“I'm sorry Buffy. Is it something I've done? Didn't I love you enough? Care for you?”
“Nothing like that,” she whispered. “I just love Spike.”
*****
The crypt was silent. It's only occupant sat alone in his chair, staring at a stake in his hand. It would be so easy to end it all now. So easy to plunge that stake into his heart and just get it all over with. He knew what Buffy's choice would be. He should just get it over with now.
There was no way she could love him after what he had done to her. The fighting, the arguments, everything. Everyone would probably be a lot happier if he just got it over with.
He lifted the point to his heart and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think. Didn't want to hurt anymore.
“Spike,” he heard a voice scream. It must just be his imagination. He pushed his arm closer.
The stake was knocked violently out of his hand and he felt something land in his lap. He opened his eyes and found himself looking straight into Buffy's eyes. She was sat in his lap, almost in tears.
“What were you doing?” she asked him, tears starting to flow.
“I was trying to get it all over with,” he said, in a monotone voice, trying to push her of him but he just didn't have the strength. “Lets face it, It'll make everyone a lot happier.”
“It wont make me happier,” she whispered, pushing up to him and locking lips with him. She kissed him passionately but he just couldn't respond.
“What about Angel?” he whispered. “You'd be a lot happier with him.”
“I don't want him,” she exclaimed. “I want you, I love you.”
They were both silent for a moment then she kissed him again and he kissed her back and somehow he knew it was going to be all right.
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