Malcolm slowly woke up. His head was pounding and he still felt tired. He glanced around in a daze and realised he wasn't in his own quarters. It took him a few seconds to associate with clothing and personal items thrown around the room as Travis'.
It took a few more seconds for the events of last night to come back. He'd broken down. Completely. He'd never lost control as badly as that before. Especially not in front of anyone. He wondered if Travis was ok, if they could be ok after this.
Then he realised he was alone. Shit.
He must have scared Travis of by breaking down. He should have expected something like this. Life had taught him time and time again that if you let someone in they tear you apart from the inside instead of just doing it from the outside. Everyone hurt you, it was how close you let them in that determined how badly.
Travis probably didn't even mean to hurt him. Probably. He had kissed Lauren but this was in an entire other league. But still. It was essentially Malcolm's fault.
He let himself fall back on the bed, throwing his arms over his head in defeat and fighting of tears. Then the door opened.
Travis entered with a tray and Malcolm swore at himself for not seeing it coming. Damn clichés, of course Travis had just gone to get breakfast. Travis was beaming at him now but all he could manage was a small smile.
"You ok?" Travis asked, the smile disappearing from his face. Malcolm wished very much that Travis would smile again. He loved that smile.
"I'll be fine," Malcolm whispered. He forced himself to relax but Travis just stood their watching him. He finally opened his eyes again and looked up into Travis' chocolate brown ones.
"I love you," Travis said. Loudly and clearly so there could be no mistaking it. Malcolm lay there for a second, trying to digest it. Travis loved him.
"Then why did you kiss Lauren?"
"Why didn't you say yes?"
They fell into silence. Neither knew what to say. Malcolm sure as hell didn't. He didn't want to go into all that again. In truth all he wanted to do was reach out and pull Travis to him and never let go. He wanted to tell Travis he loved him, he wanted to tell everyone. He just didn't know how.
"Let's jut agree we're both idiots," Travis said quietly. "And let's try and get on with our lives."
"Works for me," Malcolm agreed, giving in and reaching forward to pull Travis into a hug. Travis reached round and held Malcolm tightly. It was all going to be ok. Neither of them could believe it was all going to be ok.
Malcolm finally relaxed, held in Travis' strong arms. Why the hell had he given this up? He vowed then and there he would never give Travis up again for anything.
"We should get up," Malcolm mumbled finally. "I need to be on duty soon and my quarters are a mess..."
"Don't worry about it," Travis whispered, stroking Malcolm's back. "I've already been to see the Captain. We get the day of to sort out your room and...make up."
"Aren't we efficient today?"
"I try," Travis replied, grinning. He kinder liked being the responsible one now and again. It could be fun.
For his part Malcolm was coming to a realisation. Travis could keep an eye out for himself. He didn't need someone constantly looking out for him, not that Malcolm could stop, but he should trust Travis when the younger man says he's taking it to far.
Idiot.
But it's all behind them now. They can get on with life again.
Travis found himself being kissed again. He sighed and opened his mouth a little so Travis could deepen the kiss. Looked like Travis was taking over in the bedroom to.
Malcolm relaxed as Travis began to rub his hands over Malcolm's back, calmingly. He reciprocated, feeling Travis relax into his arms. He could have happily stayed like that all day, kissing and touching. It seemed Travis had other ideas though.
The younger man slid his arms around Malcolm and began to rub the bulge in his pants. Malcolm moaned softly. It felt damn good. Travis had very skilled hands.
He reached out and pulled Travis' sweater of. Travis had pulled on a sweater and some loose jeans to go get breakfast and speak to the Captain apparently. Malcolm didn't care, he wouldn't be wearing anything for long.
As soon as Travis' sweater was gone Malcolm began running his hands over the strong chest. You had to be healthy to get into Starfleet but Travis was so beyond what was required. Malcolm knew Travis liked to do a lot of physical things in his spare time, hiking, climbing. It was probably something to do with growing up in space and never seeing the outdoors but Travis had spent ages climbing and walking while attending the academy. He had dragged Malcolm along a few times, and the hikes were ok. He just wasn't much for climbing.
Malcolm's thoughts were pulled back to the present as Travis unzipped his uniform and pulled it down. Malcolm quickly stood up to help and Travis stripped him naked, then proceeded to remove his own pants and underwear to.
THen Travis was on him again, kissing and touching. Strong hands running over his chest and stomach and legs and back. Malcolm was pushed back onto the bed and he went willingly.
Travis' mouth left Malcolm's, causing the older man to moan in protest, but a second later it found his left nipped and he felt the moan turning into a moan of pleasure. He threw his head back as Travis expertly nipped at his nipped and laved it with his tongue until it was hard, then he did the same to the other nipple.
Malcolm quickly decided that letting Travis be in change was ok, but there was nothing like being on top yourself. He wrapped a leg around Travis, then rolled them over so he was on top.
Travis tried to roll them again but there really wasn't room and they both ended up on the floor, that didn't stop there little power struggle though. Malcolm gained the top again and managed to pin Travis to stop him moving, he then kissed Travis firmly on the lips.
He then did as Travis had done for him, tracing his way dow to the younger mans nipple and licking and nipping until it was hard. Travis pushed up against him but Malcolm pushed him back down.
"Please Malcolm," Travis whispered. "Let me go on top."
Malcolm couldn't resist Travis like that. He rolled onto back over onto his back. Travis pulled up grinning.
"Don't worry Malcolm, I'll give you the time of your life..."
Travis lowered his mouth and gently kissed the head of Malcolm's cock. Malcolm gasped the playful mood grew serious as Travis ran his tongue up malcolm's length. Malcolm moaned and thrust up.
"Come on," Travis whispered. "This will be much easier on the bed."
"Don't think I can move."
"Hurry up, get on the bed. I need you Malcolm. I want to be in you." Malcolm froze then looked into Malcolm's eyes and saw how serious Travis was. Travis had always been more then a little afraid of entering Malcolm. Afraid it would hurt. Afraid he would do something wrong. Malcolm had decided not to push. Travis was normally so outgoing, if there was this one thing that scared him it was best not to push it.
Malcolm moved onto the bed quickly. Travis was determined, he knew that without even having to ask. Travis moved into the bedroom while he made himself comfortable. Laying on his stomach and placing a pillow under his hips to make it easier for Travis.
Travis came back from the bathroom and knelt behind Malcolm on the bed. For a moment he didn't move.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Malcolm asked softly. Travis nodded. Malcolm reached round and took Travis' hand gently. There was so much uncertainty in the other mans eyes. It was one thing saying he was going to do this, it was quite another to actually do it. But once Travis decided to do something he would see it through.
Malcolm relaxed, trusting himself completely to Travis. He knew the other man would never hurt him. Not intentionally or without just cause anyway...
But they were past that. Now was what mattered. Now when he loved Travis and travis was gently easing one lubed up finger into him.
He moaned and pushed himself back onto Travis. It had been a while since he'd had anything inside him and it felt so good. Travis moved the one finger for a moment, then added a second. Malcolm moaned and trust back, which made Travis smile. Malcolm hadn't felt this good in forever. Even thought he'd never pushed Travis to take him, he had wanted it so badly.
Travis began to scissors his fingers slowly. It was very frustrating for MAlcolm. He wanted Travis in him so badly but at the same time he was aware he wasn't ready. He found his frustration was distracting him from Travis' hands and he tried to push it down but it was hard.
Then a third finger was added and he couldn't help but concentrate on the physical. The wonderful feelings inside of him. The feeling of Travis loving him, opening him. Then the fingers were gone and his anticipation began to rise but nothing happened.
He looked back over his shoulder and Travis was sat there, looking uncertain.
"Please Travis," Malcolm whispered. "I need you in me. You wont hurt me, it'll be good."
"Are you sure it wont hurt you?"
Malcolm didn't reply with words. He reached round and grabbed Travis' hand. There eyes met for a moment then Travis lent over and kissed Malcolm, softly and lovingly.
THen he moved back slightly and positioned himself, not letting go of Malcolm's hand. It was a little awkward to get into the right position while still holding hands but they managed it. Malcolm relaxed back onto the bed and waited.
Travis pushed into him, slowly and gently. MAlcolm moaned as he felt Travis enter him, making him so full. Travis pushed forward, exploring the feeling of being inside his lover, being surrounded and loved in the best possible way by the man under him.
He started to move, slowly at first, and he felt himself beginning to be consumed by the feelings of desire. It felt so good, moving inside Malcolm. If he felt half this tight and wonderful it was no wonder Malcolm wanted sex so often, not that he was complaining.
He began to slip over the edge, but he was vaguely aware that Malcolm wasn't close enough. He slipped him hand under Malcolm and gently rubbed the other mans cock. Malcolm gasped and thrust back and Travis lots his control, coming inside Malcolm. The older Man followed him soon after, covering the sheets with cum.
THey just lay there for a while, basking in the afterglow. It felt so good for a while, then a little sticky and uncomfortable. Travis pulled back and moved over to lay next to Malcolm. THe other man rolled over and they kissed each other softly.
"I love you," MAlcolm whispered, kissing Travis on the forehead. Travis smile and relaxed, then snuggled into Malcolm's side. A part of him was ware that he should get up and go sort out Malcolm's quarters, but a bigger part of here wanted to just curl up and sleep. He'd been to bust worrying last night to get any real sleep.
Malcolm watched Travis drift of, then soon after he let himself follow. After all, after the emotional rolercoaster he'd been through that morning he deserved a bit more sleep.
~*~*~*~
Glen was absolutely desperate for a clean uniform and a shave. When Travis had asked for the room to himself, Glen had just left, not thinking to grab a clean uniform. He didn't care what girl Travis had in there. As much as he might deny it Glen knew Travis had to have a girl going on.
He stepped into the quarters without knocking, grabbed his wash kit and a clean uniform and left again.
"What do you know, looks like Travis doesn't have a girl after all.
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