Plumber: Looks like you got a leak.
Marge: Could you start fixing it pretty soon? The basement is getting awfully flooded. And I think the cat's down there. (Snowball II meows from underwater)
Plumber: Yeah, I probably won't be able to get the parts I need for two, three weeks and that's if I order them today -- which I won't.
Marge: Oh, dear.
(his pager beeps; he looks, it shows "Low Battery")
Plumber: Hmm, emergency call. Gotta go.
Homer: What should we do until you get back?
Plumber: Ehh, put a pan down there.
(Homer puts pan down; it floats away)
Homer: Aw, it didn't work!
Homer: So anyway, Lenny and Carl are never around on Wednesdays and they don't tell me where they go. It's like a conspiracy.
Bart: A conspiracy, eh? You think they might be involved in the Kennedy assassination in some way?
Homer: I do...now. Anyway, I'm going to follow them tonight and see where they go.
Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so _illegal_. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?
Homer: Well, something did!
Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight.
Homer: Oh, OK, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm...(sly) going outside. To..._stalk_...Lenny and Carl. (realizes) D'oh!
Marge: Kids can be so cruel.
Bart: (walking by) We can? Thanks, Mom!
Lisa: (from another room) Ow! Cut it out, Bart!
Homer: I'd give anything to get into the Stonecutters.
Lisa: What do they do there, Dad?
Abe: I'm a member --
Homer: What do they do? What _don't_ they do? Oh, they do so many things they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars.
Lisa: You don't know what they do there, do you?
Homer: Not as such, no.
Abe: I'm a Stonecutter --
Bart: Dad, remember those self-hypnosis courses we took to help us ignore Grampa?
Homer: Do I ever! It's five years later and I _still_ think I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken, Marge!
Marge: I know, I know.
Bart: Maybe we should be listening to him now.
Abe: I'm a member!
Homer: Huh?
Abe: What?
Homer: What?
Abe: Huh?
Lisa: You're a member of the Stonecutters, Grampa?
Abe: Oh, sure. Let's see... (pulls out wallet, starts going through it) I'm an elk, a Mason, a communist. I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason...ah, here it is. The Stonecutters.
Marge: Homer, a man who called himself You-Know-Who just invited you to a secret wink-wink at the you-know-what. You certainly are popular now that you're a Stonecutter.
Homer: Oh, yeah. "Beer busts, beer blasts, keggers, stein hoists, A.A. meetings, beer nights..." It's wonderful, Marge! I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined. (sniffs tearily)
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