The Quotable Quotations!


"God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."
Angelina Jolie, Kate Libby
HACKERS

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."
Janeane Garofalo

"I've wanted to act since I was five years old. When I was in Kindergarden, all of the other girls brought in dolls for show and tell, but I sang songs from Oklahoma and South Pacific. I just knew it was what I wanted to do. Whatever your dream is, whether you want to be an actress, or a astronaut, or a doctor, or a great parent, someone will say you can't do it- and you have to know that you can. But it's hard. About 99% of the actors in this country have no acting jobs. My advice is to finish school, and go to college, because nobody wants a dumb actress. Once you graduate, if you still want to act, that's the time to pursue it. Besides, when you're 21 and you have a degree, you'll know how to get a good agent."
Rosie O'Donnell

God Bless Television!
John Lithgow, Dick Soloman
Third Rock From the Sun

Remember, the journey is the destination.
Jon Lindstrom,
AOL Chat Transcript

"Many people walking through my head, one of them's got a gun, shoots the other one!"
SEAL
Survive

"We are not who we are!"
Unknown
The X-Files

"Enemies are just friends who are trying to kill you!"
Unknown
Project Geeker

"Ultimately, it's other people's reactions to us that make us who were are."
David Duchovny, Fox Mulder
The X-Files

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave!"
Dennis Christopher, J A C K
The Profiler

"Acting is one percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration! You've gotta put a little sweat into it!"
Unknown
All My Children

(On the Pretender, Brutes hands Miss Parker a screw driver as a makeshift weapon against Brigitte...) "I wanna kill her, not screw her!"
Andrea Parker, Miss Parker
The Pretender

"When you look in the mirror, and no one's there, how come that is?"
Paul Reiser, Paul Buchman
Mad About You

"May ye live single and prosper!"
Nolan North, Chris Ramsey
Port Charles

"When (two people) come together, they become something greater than either one alone. I think that's what we all long to have in our lives, and why it works so well with us. Because people would love to have that. I would love to have that in my life."
Peter Reckell
DAYS Family Album

"Sometimes I'm tempted to become a street-person, cut off from society. But then I wouldn't get to wear my outfits."
Calista Flockhart, Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

"I think people that talk in metaphores outta shampoo my crotch."
Jack Nicholson, Melvin Udall
As Good As It Gets

"Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausable."
"I think it's remotely plausable that someone might think you're hot."
David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson, Fox Mulder + Dana Scully
The X-Files

"I got a little dick, it's pathetic."
Bill Paxton, Simon
True Lies

"Love's a bitch."
Maurice Bernard, Sonny Corinthos
General Hospital

"The prime reason I love television is because I am able to communicate a great message to millions of people, like, in an instant."
Jenna Elfmen, Dharma
Dharma and Gregg

"You know, love scenes are like fight scenes. You can throw the greatest punch in the world, but if the guy can't take it right, it's not gonna look right. And the same thing goes for a kiss, or a look. I can rev up every ounce of romantic, Valentine I can find in myself, and it won't matter if the person can't take it right. Ms. Francis takes a hit better than anyone I've ever, ever known."
Tony Geary
General Hospital 35th Anniversary

"She thinks I'm in a spaceship!"
Deidra Hall, Marlena
Days Of Our Lives

"Great minds think for themselves!"
Robin Williams
One Saturday Morning

"There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world, and each one deserves a closer look."
Rosie O'Donnell, Katherine Gully
Harriet The Spy

"Women, can't live with 'em, can't have heterosexual sex with out them."
John Lithgow, Dick Soloman
Third Rock From The Sun

(David Duchovny talks about the X-Files) "It has the power of a soap opera now, and I think that's a huge power!"
David Duchovny
The X-Files Interview on Primetime Live

"I know I've got it great, really. Good job, good friends, loving family. Total freedom, and long bubble baths. What else could there be?"
Calista Flockhart, Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

"What ever tape you found in that VCR, it's not mine."
"Good because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."
David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson, Mulder + Scully
The X-Files

"It's like something crawled up my nose and then died!"
Michelle Trachenburg, Harriet Welch
Harriet The Spy

"Kiss me, fat boy!"
Tim Curry, Pennywise
It

"Holy Testicle Tuesday!"
Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

"I thought downsizing was a good thing. Like going from a size six, to a size four."
Sharon Lawrence, Gwen Leonard
Fired Up

"Shit on me!"
Johnny Lee Miller, Dade Murphy
Hackers

"As a kid, I read an average of ten books a week. Flashlight under the covers, the whole deal. I continue to be passionately in love with reading."
Geena Davis

"I want a chocolate monkey!"
Unknown
Project Geeker

"Liver alone!"
Matthew Lillard
Scream

"What the hell kinda TV show is this?"
Rider Strong, Sean
Boy Meets World

"It's not the dress that makes you look big, it's your hips!"
An MCI Commercial

"Do you smell like moldy cheese? Does moldy cheese smell just like you?"
Woody + Bona of GOAT TALK
Greedy Stench

"Suck me sideways!"
Jim Carrey, Floyd Christmas
Dumb and Dumber

"When asked why he was coming to America, he said, 'Well this is the land of opportunity.'"
"A fine, patriotic idea, but not one you wanna hear from a serial killer."
Ally Walker & Roma Maffia, Samantha Waters + Grace Alverez
The Profiler

"So, are you gonna make like a baby and head out?"
Jay Pickett, Frank Scanlon
Port Charles

"...But I do know music, I've managed to stay more current than you think, thanks mainly to my 14 year old daughter, Spencer. Who's exposed me to the likes of Radiohead, Veruca Salt, and the subtle artistry of Marilyn Manson. Speaking of Manson, you have my word as a gentleman, you will not be seeing his bony, white ass on stage tonight."
Kelsy Grammar
1998 Grammy Awards

"I just- ate a bug!"
Goldie Hawn, Annie
Overboard

"Love is creating something in your head out of nothing."
Janeane Garofalo
People Magazine

"He's been lickin' his asshole for the last three straight hours! I submitt to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever it is he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay!"
Brian Cox, Nathan Waldman
The Long Kiss Goodnight

"You know... Life isn't a fairytale. I mean, the prince doesn't always come along and wake us up. You have to have faith in yourself. That is what gets you through all of the hard times."
Ally Walker, Sam
The Profiler

"Oh, love... It's being two and yet being only one. A man and a woman fused into an angel. It's heaven!"
La Esmerelda
Victor Hugo's The HunchBack of Notre Dame

(At the 1998 Emmy Awards, Rosie & Oprah tied for Best Talk Show Host. This was what Rosie said:) "This is really too much. I just wanna say to every kid out there, who has a life that might not be great right now, Hold on! Hold on, because it gets better, I promise you it gets better! And I am honored and humbled in your presence, Oprah."
Rosie O'Donnell
1998 Emmy Awards

"Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul."
William Hazlin

"I've seen men pass kidney stones with more entusiasm."
Unknown
ABC's Timecop

"Nothing is as strong as gentleness, and nothing is as gentle as real strength."
Ralph W. Sockman
New York Mirror

"Wonderful stuff, you know? Little things like that. Yeah, but those are the things I miss the most. The idiosyncrosies that only I know about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too. She knew all my little peckadillos. People call these imperfections, but they're not. Oh, that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about."
Robin Williams, Professer Sean
Good Will Hunting

(This is a whole poem:) "Many people wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute, or built to suit a fashion model's size. When I try to tell them, they think I'm telling lies. I say it's in the reach of my arms, the span of my hips, the stride of my step, the curl of my lips. I'm a woman. Phenomanally. Now please understand, just by my head's bowed. I don't shout or jump about, or talk too loud. When you see me walking, it ought to make you proud. I say it's in the click of my heals, it's in the bend of my hair. It's in the palms of my hands, it's in the need of my care. Cause I'm a woman. Phenomanally."
Maya Angelou
Phenomanal Woman

"She felt consumed by a great void. A dark and silent abyss. As terrifying as the grand palace around her. But somewhere in the chilling blackness, she caught a glimps of a light. She remembered a time. The precocious little girl with a heart full of fire and soul enflamed by passion. And a smile that could melt winter into spring. But the light was gone. The flame had died. Her past was taken from her by the soldiers of the great palace. She would continue searching. Hoping to rekindle the fire. Until then, she would always be 'the Saddest Little Valentine'"
Read Aloud by Michael T. Weiss, Jarod
The Pretender


(This was a scene from Ally McBeal where she was on trial for insanity:) "Ms McBeal, if you have any anger, feel free to express it."
"But you would judge me for it, your honor. It would be wiser for me to sit here politely and privately pray that you should happen by me doing groceries. Now, now, now imagine, young lawyer. Her future lying in your hands. Who would say such a thing? She would either have to be enormously crazy or your would have to be enough of an ass to deserve the remark. No matter what the risk. And since you're the judge, I'm going to let you deside, but not until I've finished. And I haven't finished! That woman abused me in that super market. Now yes, I overreacted, but there was a context. And as for all of the other evidence against me, that, that, that stuff about me being emotional! Falling in love with men whose bottoms I've smelled. Submitting X-rays to a judge who has a tooth fetish and sleeps with hookers. Snapping at pedestrians who think that a square shoulder can be midigated by 'I'm sorry!' I am human, I am temperamentle, I am guilty! Now I'm finished!
Calista Flockhart, Ally
Ally McBeal


more later!