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	Well, it's Christmas, so I though it appropriate to repost this
little fic I wrote last July.  Enjoy!

Disclaimer:  I don't own the Jonny Quest, or any of the characters
mentioned or who make cameo appearances in this fic.  I'm not making
money from it.  The songs aren't mine, either.  They belong to Warner
Brothers and come from the Holiday episode of Animaniacs

Copyright: The plot belongs to me and was thought up after someone
mentioned that Jonny Quest and Jonny Bravo look alike.  You have been
warned! *grin*

Archivers: It's yours

Categories: H


"A Jonny Carol"
By Pam "Spam" Sawyer

	Jonny sat and flipped through his little black book.  He was
looking for someone whose heart he hadn't recently broken to ask to the
Christmas dance.  
	"Let's see... Princess Allura?  No, I broke up with her just last
week.  Wilma Flintstone?  No wait, she had an attack of conscience and
told Fred about 'us.'  Serena?  Nah, she got back together with Darien. 
Besides, she bawls too much anyway..."  After hours of fruitless
searching he fell asleep drooling on his desk.

	"Jooooooonnnnnnyyyyyyy," came a ghostly voice, "Joooonnnnyyyyy
Quuuuuueeeeeessssstttttt"
	"Huh, what?" Jonny snapped his head up, a trickle of drool
hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Who's there?"
	He looked around and saw a translucent Daphne from Scooby Doo
floating in front of him.
	"Daph, is that you?"
	"Yeeessss Joooonnnnyyyyy, it's meeeee..."
	"Daphne! How's it going?' he asked nervously. "You look really,
uh, different! Did you do something with your hair?"
	"You broke my heeeaaarrrtttt Jonny Quuueeesstttt...."
	"Look Daphne, I was going to call you back, honest I was, but
well, things came up.  I had to save the world from Rage again, then Surd
popped up and..."
	"I saawwww you at the movies with Cheetara, Joooonnnyyyy, but
that doesn't matter nooowww.  This night you will be visited by
thrrrreeeee ghooooosssts......"
	"Three ghosts? What do you mean Daphne? Wait, where are you
going? Daphne!"
	"You have been waaaaarrrrrnnnnnnneeedddd," she said as she
dropped through the floor of Jonny's room,
"waaaaarrrrrrnnnneeeeddddd........"

***	***	***

	Jonny woke with a start, that trickle of drool still hanging from
the corner of his mouth.
	"Woah, what a strange dream," he thought to himself.  Just then
the phone rang.  When he picked it up Wakko Warner popped out of the
receiver.
	"Hiya, Jonny!"  He said.
	"What are you doing here Wakko?" Jonny asked.
	"Oh, Pam brought us Warners in because we've done this sort of
thing before," Wakko replied.
	"What do you want?"
	"I want you!"  With that Wakko gave Jonny a big kiss.  Then the
music started, and Wakko began to sing.

	"I'm the ghost of Jonny past, 
	And all the girls that you've harassed 
	Are glad that I am here at last
	'Cause Mr. Jonny-O
	I't movie time,
	Relax and see
	As we climb up your family tree
	And look at how you used to be
	Many years ago!"

	Wakko plopped Jonny down in a huge armchair and set up a movie
projector.
	"What's this," Jonny asked when Wakko got the film rolling.
	"The day you were born.  That's you as an itty bitty baby."

	The projector showed a tiny baby Jonny Quest in the hospital
nursery.  He was rolled on his side staring at a blond newborn girl to
his left.
	"Hey babe," he said, "what's your name?"
	"Stephanie," she said with a giggle.
	"Well Stephanie, how'd you like to go out with a stud like me."
	The projector skipped forward to the Jonny we knew from the
classic adventures of Jonny Quest.  The new scene showed Jonny at the
mall sharing an ice cream soda with a cute brunette.  Just then a blond
girl stormed up to him.
	"Jonny Quest!" she yelled. "Of all the low-down, despicable,
cruel, evil, nasty things you could do!  You told me you were going with
you father to Africa this weekend!  We've been going out since the day we
were born, and now you turn on me!"
	"Stephanie, wait, I can explain..."
	The brunette chose that moment to cut in.
	"Since you were born!  Jonny Quest, you said you didn't have
anyone before me, and now I find out you've had a girlfriend all this
time, how dare you!"
	With that the brunette picked up the soda and dumped it onto
Jonny's head.  Then she and Stephanie stormed away.  

***	***	***

	"I didn't stalk them, that was nice, wasn't it?"  Jonny said to
Wakko.  But Wakko wasn't there anymore.
	"Huh, what?  It must have been a hallucination," he thought.
"I've got to lay off Jessie's cooking."
	Suddenly a box wrapped in colorful paper and decorated with
ribbons materialized on his desk.  The tag read, "JONNY'S PRESENT."
	"Probably a fruitcake," he said.
	"Hey, who you callin' a fruitcake," said Dot Warner as she popped
out of the box.  "I'm the ghost of Jonny Present.  It's a pun, get it?" 
Then the music started and, like Wakko before her, she broke out into
song.

	"Thadius Plotz, you mean old man
	Causing pain wherever you...  No wait, that's not right.  Oh,
wait!  These are the old words to the song, not the new ones Pam gave me!
 Just a minute..."  Dot rifled around in the box for a moment, then
pulled out some paper.  "Let's see... uh-huh... uh-huh... yeah... Jonny
Quest...  yeah... okay!  I'm ready now!"  
	The music started back up.

	"Jonny Quest, you rotten man,
	Casing pain wherever you can.
	It's all about to hit the pan,
	You womanizing beau.
	You're guilty in the first degree
	Of causing pain and misery.
	Now it's time for you to see
	So hang on, here we go!"

	Dot grabbed his arm and jumped into the box.  When they landed
they were on the Warner Brothers' lot.  They were also colored blue.  Dot
dragged Jonny to one of the buildings, where Hello Nurse sat by the phone
holding a picture of him and crying.  Wakko and Dr. Scratchnsnif  were
there trying to console her.
	"Dere dere, Mizz Nurse, dere are plenty of fish in ze ocean, ya?"
said the Doctor.
	"Do you want me to hit him with my mallet?" asked Wakko.
	"*sniff sniff* That's okay, Wakko.  I'm sure he's just busy and
he'll call me later," Hello Nurse replied.
	"See what you've done, Jonny?" said Dot.  "You've broken her
heart just like every girl you've ever dated.
	"Hey, Nurse, baby!" Jonny started in, but Dot stopped him.
	"She can't see or hear you, Jonny.  C'mon, I've got something
else to show you."
	The scene blurred for a moment, then came back into focus by a
blond girl in a white sweater with a pink stripe across the middle.  She
was eating a sno-cone with Freakazoid!
	"Recognize her, Jonny?" asked Dot.
	"Stephanie!" he exclaimed.  "But... but what's wrong with her? 
That vacant expression, that ponytail, the pink stripe on her sweater...
NO!  She's... she's turned into a.. turned into a....."
	"A ditz, Jonny, a ditz dating one of the weirdest superheroes
known to man."
	"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

***	***	***

	"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Jonny sat up with a start, that trickle of
drool _still_ hanging from he corner of his mouth.  "I've got to get out
of here before that third ghost shows up," he thought to himself.  Just
then the clock struck midnight.  A strange mist surrounded the room. 
Jonny watched in horror as a person in a hooded robe entered and came
towards him carrying a sickle.
	"Jonny Quest," came the spectral voice, "hello!" said Yakko as he
popped out of the robe.  "I'll be your ghost of Jonny future this
evening."
	The music started again and the background of Jonny's room opened
like a curtain revealing a huge staircase and dancing girls.  Yakko burst
into song.

	"Relax, chill out, forget about your cares.
This is a kid who knows what he wants! He's also a kid nobody wants.
	Come on, it's time for you to climb these stairs
You got a good head on your shoulders, Jonny, too bad it's covered in
bleach.
	Show 'em what you can do"
	"This is stupid!" said Jonny
	"The future's waiting for you"
	"Leave me alone!"
	"Come on Quest, 'cause you've got lot's to see before we're
through."

	The dancing girls start in their routine.  They surround Jonny
and start singing.

	"He's a dream, hear us scream his name...
	JONNY!
	Had a son, and he's the one to blame"
	"Helloooo Nurses!" yelled Yakko. "Say, why don't you stop the
water tower and I'll show you my stamp collection."
	"But Yakko, you don't have a stamp collection," said one of the
girls
	"All right then, you can open my mail."
	"There's nothing he can't do," the girls started in again.
	"They're crazy about me!" screamed Yakko.
	"He's handsome, yes it's true."
	"Hey girls, let me know when those costumes get heavy," said
Jonny, enjoying himself immensely.
	"Come on Quest, 'cause you got lot's to.. see.. be..fore..
we're...."
	"You know what I like about you, Jonny?" asked Yakko. 
"Absolutely nothing."  he answered himself as he pushed Jonny over the
edge of the stairs.
	"THRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

	"Nice of you to drop by," said Yakko as Jonny landed.  "Welcome
to your future."
	"This looks like my room," Jonny replied, looking around.
	"Not anymore. See?"
	The desk chair spun around to show an adult Hadji, a pleased
smile on his face.
	"Finally," he said, "I get the big room.  Always Jonny got the
biggest room, even when we traveled, but not anymore!"
	"What's Hadji doing in my chair?"
	"Oh, this isn't your room anymore, it's his.  Your dad disowned
you when he found out about all your illegitimate children."
	"But, where am I?" asked Jonny.
	"There," said Yakko, pointing out the window.
	"The cemetery?" said Jonny with a gulp.
	"No, not there... _there_"  Yakko replied, pointing to a house
across the street.  Out of the house appeared... Jonny Bravo!  He spotted
a cute woman across the street and was over there in a second, posing and
flexing all the while.
	"Hey, hot sexy momma.  How's about I make your dreams come true
by letting you be my number one main squeeze."
	"Get lost, creep," the girl replied, smacking Jonny so hard he
flipped over and landed on his head.
	"Ohhh, she wants me bad," Jonny Bravo said.

	"Th-that's me?" asked Jonny-still-Quest.
	"It sure is, Jonny.  When your dad kicked you out of the house
the lady across the street adopted you.  You changed your last name to
Bravo, and haven't had a date since."
	"NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!"

***	***	***

	"Jonny, Jonny! Wake up Jonny!"
	"Huh?" asked Jonny, picking his head up off his desk, that
trickle of drool still hanging there.
	"Jonny, you were having a nightmare," said Benton Quest, looking
down at his son.
	"What? Oh, dad, you wouldn't believe the dream I just had!  I'll
tell you about it in a second, but I gotta make a phone call first.

***	***	***

	"Hello Nurse?  Hey babe!  Sorry I haven't called, but things came
up... No, I'm not seeing anyone else!  Of course not honey!  Yes.  Aww
c'mon, you know you're my first girlfriend, baby!  Hey, you wanna go to
the Christmas dance tonight..."

	And the moral of this story is... ummm... well.... gee, I don't
think this story has a moral.  Oh well.

The End

Merry Christmas!
Pam "Spam" Sawyer
Toon Encyclopedia In Training
Quote: "I've _seen_ this one!"
~~~
spamelot@juno.com
--------------------------------
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