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423 The One With Ross' Wedding
Joey: What's in it?Waiter: Goat cheese, watercrest and panchetta
Joey: That's not food!
422 The One With The Worst Best Man Ever
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I don’t have any brothers; I’ll never get to be a best man!Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Joey: I’ll never get to be a best man!
421 The One With The Invitation
Joey: It’s better! You can’t go to a museum in your underwear!Chandler: Well, You could, but... probably just the one time.
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
420 The One With The Wedding Dresses
Chandler: Oh, she’s got you running errands, y’know, picking up wedding dresses...Wah-pah! Ross: What’s wah-pah?Chandler: Y’know, whipped! Wah-pah!
Joey: That’s not whipped! Whipped is whi-tcssh!
Chandler: That’s what I did. Wah-pah!
Joey: You can’t do anything!
419 The One With All The Haste
Ross: I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?! Chandler: Because you’ve only known her for six weeks! Okay, I’ve got a carton of milk in my fridge I’ve had a longer relationship with!Ross: Look guys, when I’m with her it’s-it’s-it’s like she brings this-this this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y’know?
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, I’m not gonna some British girl to move in with me! Joey, you say things now.
418 The One With Rachel's New Dress
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joey’s. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
417 The One With The Free Porn
Ross: What do I do now?Joey: You play hard to get.
Ross: She already lives in London.
Joey: Then you go to Tokyo.
416 The One With The Fake Party
Ross: Yeah, she’s got to go back to London. But you know what? I’ve been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and that’s it. Y’know.Joey: Hey that’s what all my relationships are like. Chandler: Yes, but in Ross’s case, they both know in two weeks that’s it.
415 The One With All The Rugby
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personality. Well, they’re all back! Y’know? And she’s picked up like nine new ones!
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! There’s people here!
414 The One With Joey's Dirty Day
Chandler: Y’know, I can’t believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on I’m never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!Ross: Come on, man! Just-just take the sweats off. Okay? Just take ‘em off and we’ll have some fun.
413 The One With Rachel's Crush
Chandler: Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the no heat.Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There’s a lot of theories that didn’t pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Chandler: Oh my God!!
412 The One With The Embryos
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey’s apartment. What name appears on the address label?Rachel: Chandler gets it! It’s Chandler Bing!
Monica: No!!
Ross: I’m afraid the TV Guide comes to Chanandler Bong.
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use you’re head!
Chandler: Actually, it’s Miss Chanandler Bong.
408 Chandler in a Box
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richard’s son, you’d be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!
406 One With The Dirty Girl
Rachel: Well, maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.Ross: Fine by me, hope she wins.
321 One With A Chick And A Duck
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? Nooo.
319 One With The Lousy T-Shirt
Joey: Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie!Ross: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
316 The Morning After
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.Chandler: Wax the door shut, we're never leaving, ever
312 The One With All The Jealousy
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.Ross: I don't know you guys.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
308 The One With The Giant Poking Device
Phoebe: He’s alive! He’s a-live!!!Monica: And yet, we’re still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey-hey, now he’s showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that’s never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
306 The One With The Flashback
Janice: I’m sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica and Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no time!
Joey: Okay, but let’s say there was. How might that go?
305 The One With Frank Jr.
Joey: No. Y'know how we’re always saying we need a place for the mail.Chandler: Yeah!
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You’re building a post office?
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. It’s a one day job, max.
Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valente’s.
304 The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know
Chandler: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.Joey: What if we have to pee?
Chandler: I'll cancel the sodas.
214 The One With The Prom Video
Ross: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?Chandler: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance... ya know, make a little love... Well, pretty much get down tonight.
Joey: Some girl ate Monica.
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
210 The One With Russ
Russ: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.Ross: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
208 The One With The List
Chandler: All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
206 One With The Baby on the Bus
Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it.201 One With Ross's New Girlfriend
Chandler: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite--Ross: what?
Chandler: Cupping
Joey: That's how they do pants. First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Joey: What? That's not? Oh my god.
122 The One With the Ick Factor
Ross: [on phone] Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. [pause] No, André is not here. [to Joey] Third time today. [on phone] Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don´t perform those kind of services.Joey: Services? Oh, services.
Ross: [on phone] Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. [pause] No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. [pause] All rightie, bye bye.