TOP 10 MOTHER'S DAY CARDS (2000 edition)
10. I know you, Dad and I are always disagreeing
And embroiled in some family spat
How about we pledge to be nicer to each other?
Does that sound good? Hey, I’ll drink to that!
— A.J.
9. I haven’t been the same son since I returned,
I’m sorry if you’re bothered by my presence,
It’s just that Helena’s done terrible things to my mind,
Like, for starters, making me watch “Bare Essence.”
— Happy Mother’s Day… Lucky
8. I hate you!
You left us, you snot!
All for Luke Spencer!
I hate you more than my braces!
— Maxie
7. Rae, I’ve been trying to locate you as well
So we finally can come face-to-face.
But I must say it’d be a whole lot easier
If you could manage to stay in one place!
— Your long-lost daughter
6. I’m just a toddler
So I think it’s funny
That I talk more clearly
Than your mumbling pal Sonny
— Happy Mom’s Day… Michael
5. Mother, I am appalled by your duplicity
And your malicious, ill-conceived stunts.
Yet the fact remains, that in our recent scenes,
I’ve had my best dialogue in months
— Stefan
4. Maxie said I should hate you for leaving,
But I refuse to play her game.
The truth is that I’ve always despised you
Ever since you chose “Georgie” for my name
3. After my rape and near-bombing, my beau returned from the dead
(Is that enough to make you say “Wow”?)
So don’t worry about me here, I guess you’re busy
(But, like, isn’t that Bosnia thing over by now?)
— Elizabeth
2. It may seem like you’re missing my childhood
Ever since you reunited with your Roy,
But don’t worry because, since I never age,
I will always ALWAYS be your little boy!
— Lucas
1. Although you’ve been gone eight years now, Mom,
I still think of you every day.
To escape these sad memories I now seek a new home.
I was thinking Pine Valley — What do you say?
— Robin
