MAXIE'S TOP 10 BEEFS
10. “My dad, Frisco, chose work over his family.”
9. “My mom is having an affair with Luke Spencer.”
8. “Justin Timberlake of ‘N SYNC is dating Britney Spears. What a jerk.”
7. “90210 didn’t get renewed. And it’s probably mom’s fault.”
6. “Mom won’t take me to New York City to see Total Request Live, probably because she’s too busy running around with that Luke Spencer.”
5. “Mac won’t let me and Georgie see the Backstreet Boys concert at the Port Charles Coliseum, probably because he’s cranky about Mom doing the wild thing with that Luke Spencer guy.”
4. “Lucky is like SO cute, and is like totally dissing Elizabeth, but he doesn’t even notice me. He’s probably mad at me because my mom, Fel-bimbo-a, is shagging his dad.”
3. “That Mac doesn’t simply arrest Mom for what she is: a no-good, street-walking, bottom-shelf whore. Oh, and the Magic Dunkers Oreos barely turn the milk blue.”
2. “Donny Westminster called me ‘Maxi Pad’ again, right in front of Joey Tanducci at recess.”
1. “Although this whole Microsoft break-up will assuredly increase competition in the industry, it will also likely result in higher-priced software. And its all happening because Little Miss Mom-By-Day-Common-Slut-By-Night can’t keep her panties on around that Luke Spencer guy. Like what a dork!”
