TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE AN
ACTOR IN A BAD STORYLINE
(10) When you get your script, the margins are filled with little heart doodles that say "Richard Culliton + Yasmine Bleeth 4-Ever".
(9) Instead of "ACTION!", the director starts each scene by yelling "IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL "HELL"!"
(8) Most of the stagehands are there to fulfill community service court sentences.
(7) You occasionally slip and call your co-star "Sweetness".
(6) Instead of bothering with the expense and time to build a set, all your scenes seem to take place "backstage at the taping of a TV program."
(5) Your first scene of the day typically begins with, "I'm sorry, V, what did you say? I was busy worrying about Brender...".
(4) You can hear the cameramen guessing out loud what other programs the viewers will be flipping to at that moment.
(3) Your fan mail consists mainly of sympathy cards, course guides for vocational schools, and misdirected letters to Peter Jennings.
(2) That role as a boardwalk hot dog vendor on "Sunset Beach" is looking better and better.
(1) You're carrying high school textbooks in the next scene.
