Why It's Great To Be A Guy
by Nigel Wick
Your rear is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are always real.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can wear a whilte shirt to a waterpark.
Foreplay is optional.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Gray hair adds character.
You don't have to leave the room to make crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2,000; Tux rental $100.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, all the time.
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Last updated 01/17/00.