Reminiscense and Reflections


snow2.JPG - 14.4 K Meeting ChungChung (cc) in person had always been one of my greatest wishes, yet never thought at all possible. Watching her through the impersonal glass TV screen, hearing her voice from the speakers, and listening to people speak of their unforgettable encounters with cc, has all become part of what I eventually got used to, yet still enjoyed.
My Nov'97 trip to singapore (purpose which was to watch and support cc in the musical Snow*Wolf*Lake: SWL), had marked a turning point in what I thought would have otherwise been a dreaming desire to meet such an incredible and talented star in person . Immediately after my arrival to singapore that night (25th Nov), I had no time to prepare myself before Jen took me straight to the hotel (Hilton) where cc stayed. We waited impatiently and anxiously (esp. me), for cc's return from her 5th night's perfo rmance of SWL. As we continued waiting, my nerves did not spare me- I felt a deep shivering-like sensation coming from within; my breathing adapted a short and rapid pace. I continually attempted to assess my situation right there, but just couldn't accep t the fact that cc had soon to appear right before me in a few moments time. I was confused with my emotions at that time, more like an immiscible mixture of excitement, anxiety, disbelief and joy, which anyone could have easily detected from the revealin g expression I carried on my face. We waited no longer before a dark green van strolled in front of the hotel main entrance. Although I had never seen it before, I had this indescribable instinct that this was the one. I had no chance to consult Jen about it as she had already shot herself out to greet cc stepping out of the van. I followed nervously but did not have the courage to stand myself right next to the vehicle, but merely witnessed the glamorous star's appearance from a few feet back. I was abso lutely in awe of her beauty and classy temperament. First thing after seeing cc coming out from the van, was hearing her sweet and tender voice making polite and cordial greetings to the eagerly awaiting crowd- I was quite taken back by the contrast betwe en the voice I heard right there to that I was so long used to hearing on the TV screen and speakers: it was comparably more higher in pitch and less strong in transmission; I later learnt that this was a result of cc too into her character she portrayed in SWL. At that instant, the feeling of confusion attacked my mind again, I wasn't sure if this was all happening in reality or was it just a figure of my imagination: I felt as though I was watching all this through a TV screen! I couldn't grasp the noti on that the person I have seen all these years in 2 -D is now right before my eyes in 3-D!! My struggle to shift my mind back to reality soon ended when cc was pacing towards me with the guidance of Jen. As Jen introduced me as William to cc and hearing c c say ever so gracefully (and surprisingly) : "You must be William from Australia!", I knew it was too good to be true! She remembers me from the line of communication we had established via email. I had to deal with the 2 joys at that moment: as I shook her hand, all was confirmed of the reality of her present existence by the tangibility of our shake; she further inquired about how my exams were, which reassured me of my degree of significance (which I never dared to aspire for), and that I was not a me re "background" figure in her picture of fans. I was overwhelmed also be her liveliness (knowing that she had gone through and is still persevering such tremendous pressure and stress from the musical), and was overjoyed not only because of seeing cc per se but having the opportunity to make verbal contact with her. Another thing that surprised, yet flattered me, was when she was autographing the pictures I brought: she designated them to the name "Willz", which was an alias I used on the internet - I kep t thinking at that instant "she knows me! She knows me!!".
It wasn't long however, after cc having to attend to the other people, that it was time for her to go to her room. We watched as she and her sisters slowly made their way to the elevators, at times turning back to wave to us. I looked forward to our n ext encounter.
The very next day, we again waited for cc but this time outside the stadium about 1-2 hours prior the show. When the familiar green vehicle appeared in sight and moved towards its parking, I had more confidence and courage this time to speed towards t he van, before the eager crowd had the opportunity to make their move also. When the door slid open, I was more at ease and relaxed to greet cc and she was delighted to see us again. As expected, we didn't get much before the crowd began their ruthless a ttack; with constant camera flashes and demands for autographs, we were "pushed aside" to only gaze on what we could struggle to see of cc through the surrounding lot: her hair, her eyes, her arms etc. It was good though, as I had time to readjust my min d back to reality again because again I had this constant propensity to have myself viewing all this through a TV screen! I continually reassure myself that "yes, this figure is standing in 3-D right before me!" . kind and caring as she is, not long after acknowledging our isolation, did cc generously ask to take a picture with her. Soon she had to enter the stadium...........
That night of the very same day we did our rituals by waiting for cc's return to the hotel. This time we had a stuffed bear to proudly present to her. The tinge of delight radiated from our toes up not to see cc being so grateful for our gift but to s ee her so enchanted by the gift itself. But it was not long before our hearts sunk when we learnt that cc had gone through an emotional episode that night (just before that night's show) after hearing about some ruthless magazine article making some irres ponsible and nonsense reports. Compounded by the fact that she sprained her ankle during the show, cc had yet to provide the waiting crowd with the laughter and vibrance they wanted to see..................
28th Nov: at the airport.
The day has come for cc to fly back to HK. All of us awaited eagerly, something we have done seemingly for the past week or so, for cc's appearance. However when she did arrive at the airport, we were too slow in terms of beating the crowd to it: by t he time we raced to where cc was, she was already swamped with a swarm of people unwilling to spare cc for our last encounter. All we could do was to follow cc and the crowd as she made her way towards the gate urged by the relentless bodyguards next to h er. As the gate approached, cc made a last attempt to summon us club members to her to take a final shot. Although some had the chance, most were unsuccessful with trying the fight through the crowd. The moment she stepped passed the gate and stared a "fa rewell" look at us, I felt that everything was coming to a close, a finale. What seemed like a dream which started about 5 days or so ago, is finally coming to an end. We persisted at the gate by seeing cc walk off. At times she would turn back and give u s a big wave which most of us felt was something that made the situation al the more melancholic and heart-piercing. She then turned around again and strikes a pose to us which we interpreted as "You're still there!" ; we laughed bitterly at cc's attempt to make such a depressing occasion slightly comical.
As I watched cc walk further and further away, through the glass window, I could feel it in me: the feeling that every step cc takes, a greater distance is established between us. I could sense that familiar scenario again: watching cc pace slowly awa y through the glass window, offered me that recognisable similarity of watching cc through a TV screen. And as she made a final glance back at us and gesturing that this time she was really going (as she makes a turn in the direction out of our reachable sight), I again was hit by that confusion, but this time of sadness, happiness and sense of fulfilment that all was over................

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