The Kiss - 17&18

by: CJ

The Kiss -17 (PG)

Sunday late morning - Hana - - -

"Jax," Brenda said as she followed him down the lush, winding ravine, "You have NO idea where you’re taking us do you? We’re lost aren’t we?"

"No, we are not lost," Jax responded. "Why would you say that?’ he glanced back and smiled at her, the smile she loved the most.

"Because I thought we were following that tour group. And they went the opposite direction from us," Brenda reminded him.

"Well maybe YOU were following them," Jax said, "But I wasn’t. Where I’m taking you, they can only dream about going," he promised, guiding her down the steep ravine until they were on level ground again.

She heard the rushing water. "Is this a back way entrance to the seven sacred pools?" she inquired.

"Nope."

"Why do they call it the seven sacred pools anyway, Jax?" she queried. "I mean, there were like 24 pools there. I counted."

He laughed. " I know. Neither are they sacred. Some misguided explorer named it and they don’t have the heart to change it for accuracy’s sake." He held onto her hand as they walked across rocks and stepped over a very narrow stream.

"God, we are so lost!" Brenda laughed.

"No, really. We aren’t," Jax assured her.

"But it’s so secluded out here," she observed.

"That’s the best part," he promised as they continued on. "Okay stop," he said as they reached a gorgeous secluded waterfall that emanated from so high above in the lava mountain rocks, that Brenda could not see it. The water tumbled over steep lava cliffs above, running through a lush valley. "Now look over there," Jax whispered into her ear, as he gently turned her head and pointed to the point where the sunlight hit the water, and Brenda

gasped in astonishment as she saw the most vivid, vibrant, enormous rainbow she had ever seen in her life. The colors were bold and stunning. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.

Jax smiled at Brenda’s wide-eyed gaze. "Oh my god," she murmured in an awe-stuck voice that all at once made her seem very young and innocent, and made all sorts of protective feelings surge within Jax.

"The most beautiful rainbows on earth," Jax told her, "are right here."

"Wow!" Brenda breathed as she raced, laughing, over to the waterfall, watching the rainbow colors spill over her clothing and her skin, kissing everything it touched with it’s colorful, vibrant beauty. Wow!" she repeated. She walked into the water of the falls, leaning against the cool rock and laughing some more as the sweet, clean water drenched her and the colors of the rainbow swirled around her. "Jax, this is - - - -" she struggled to

find the right word - - - "spectacular!"

"Shall I make it even more spectacular?" he asked her, a decidedly seductive look in his aquamarine eyes.

"Can you do that?" she teased. " Because I REALLY don’t think that’s possible. I REALLY don’t think you can make it any better than this."

"You don’t? Well then it will be my pleasure to umm - - rise to your challenge, Miss Barrett, and to prove you extremely incorrect," he said as he began to unbutton his shirt. Then to Brenda’s shock he also began to unbuckle his belt and take off his black shorts.

"JAX!" she whispered, her voice stunned, her eyes as wide and glittering with anticipation as when she had first laid eyes on the rainbow. "What are you doing?!" she asked with soft peals of laughter.

"Think you, think me, think spectacular," he told her as he continued to remove his clothing. Then he walked into the cascading water of the falls where she stood watching him in fascination, the colors of the rainbow spread gloriously over his equally glorious body. The way she was looking at him made Jax feel pleasantly lightheaded, a true first for him.

There’s no chill

And yet I shiver

There’s no flame

And yet I burn

I’m not sure what I’m afraid of

And yet I’m trembling

Brenda smiled up at him, her eyes still wide with wonder her heart wild with excitement. "Jax you can’t be serious!" she laughed. "It’s 11 o’clock in the morning. Anybody could come down here!"

"Quite possibly," he agreed with a gorgeous, sly smile that indicated he was intrigued by that risky possibility. "Now will you stop protesting and just - - -", his fingers touched her wet lips, "kiss me?" he requested.

"Wait," Brenda whispered with a smile as alluring as his own. She slowly began to unbutton the white lace vest she wore as Jax watched her, his turn to be fascinated. She peeled out of her wet, blue shorts, all other clothing, and her sandals, and then stood before him, the water running down her body.

Jax swallowed, thinking he had died and gone to heaven. Again. It had to be again, since this was usually the way he felt with her. It was not a one time thing. It was an every time thing.

There’s no storm yet I hear thunder

and I’m breathless

Why? I wonder

Weak one moment

And the next I’m fine

She took his hands and pulled him toward her so that the water was pouring down on them both. Jax didn’t need any more of an invitation. Muscular arms slid around her and warm, wet lips brushed over hers before covering them in a slow, burning passion.

His hands explored Brenda’s wet body as her own hands slid down along his wet chest and then back up where she curved her arms around his neck, pulling her body closer to his. He kisses were insistent, delectable. His touch like flames to her skin. And her touch - what it did to him was nearly inexplicable.

I feel as if I’m falling every time I close my eyes

And flowing through my body is a river of surprise

Feelings are awakening I hardly recognize as mine

Passion was raging inside of Brenda’s entire being as the sunlight shifted and the rainbows covered their bodies in a spectacular play of colors and light. Water and rainbows entwined around them as they entwined within each other. Passion burned in their kisses. Need and desire and an unspoken love fueled them, plunging them headlong into the world of brilliant ecstasy known only to them.

When Brenda began to shift restlessly against him and urgent soft moans began to echo from lips he could kiss forever, Jax gave them both what they wanted and made love to her in the midst of cool, clear waters cascading down on them and beautiful rainbows surrounding them. Soon they felt the fist tremors of the oncoming earthquake that was going to rock them straight to nirvana. They both felt the warning tremors. They both knew the blissfull

bodyquake was imminent and excitement sparked in their eyes.

He smiled at her and she smiled right back, her heart in her eyes. And then she closed her eyes to savor every moment of what was to come. He closed his eyes too.

Why is it that every time I close my eyes she’s there

The water shining on her skin the sunlight in her hair

And all the while I’m thinking things that I can’t wait to share

With her

I’m a bundle of confusion

Yet it has a strange appeal

Did it all being with her

And the way she makes me feel?

And then they were at that place as the earthquake hit and sensual explosions rocked them, thrilled them, sent them soaring out of control in shimmering waves of earth-shattering, breathless, timeless ecstasy. The waterfalls spilled over them, the rainbows showered them in splendid beauty and the earth swirled with mad wonder about them until the earthquake beagn to subside and they were at last allowed to leave their rapturous heaven and return to

the sweet calm of the real world.

"Did I make it even more spectacular?" Jax asked her, still barely able to breathe as he kissed her eyelashes with a sweetness that made her tremble.

"The spectacularest," a blissfully exhausted Brenda sighed and then she laughed as Jax’s own soft laughter drifted into her ear.

# # #

Several hours later Jax and Brenda were sitting on the gorgeous docks of Lahaina Harbor watching the placid Pacific ocean and the boats sailing by as the music of the singer performing at The Pioneer Inn restaurant behind them drifted out to them.

Winner take all

Winner take all

I’m playing a game

Called winner take all.

Your kiss is the bet

My heart is the stake

And love is the gamble

I’m willing to take.

"Wow, look at that one," Brenda said pointing to a passing luxury schooner full of tourists. The boat was reminiscent of the fascinating pirate ships in stories like Peter Pan.

"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum," Jax said, his hands, which where resting on her waist, tickling her a bit. She wore a midriff baring, off the shoulder black and white Batik-print top and a matching, flirty, short wrap skirt with sexy white, ankle-tie sandals. Jax was dressed in a fabulous looking teal, short sleeved silk polo shirt, a pair of black jeans and black combat style boots. She was sitting in between his legs, both of their legs dangling

off of the pier, her head resting against his chest, his chin resting atop her head, her hands resting on his thighs, his hands encircling her waist.

"You know when I was little, I wanted to be a pirate every Halloween," she told him with a self-conscious laugh. "All the other girls on my block wanted to be princesses and fairies and ballerinas. And I just wanted to tuck my hair under my paper, skull & bones hat, put on my eye-patch, draw on my fake mustache, tie my blue bandanna around my head and pick up my little plastic sword. My mother, needless to say, was mortified."

"Well I’m sure you would have made an incredible little swashbuckler, although, I have to tell you, you’d be far more convincing as the pirate’s treasure than the pirate himself."

"Did you guys do the Halloween thing in Australia? Or in Alaska?" Brenda asked.

Jax shook his head. "That’s not really a custom we have in Australia, and when we moved to Alaska - - well if you were to ever see the size of the homestead there you would understand the futility of going door to door saying trick or treat," he said. "It would take an hour just to get to the next closest house."

"An hour?!" she repeated in disbelief. "So you had no friends nearby?"

"All my friends were at school, and my school, as you know, was in England. I came home for the summers and holidays though. My parents missed me all the time."

"Your father is a corporate raider too, right?"

"Not really. That’s sort of my specialty," he told her.

"Because you’re the impulsive one," Brenda said with a smile. "The risk taker."

"I think it has more to do with the fact that I don’t take foolish risks. The risks I take, I study fairly closely. And by the time I’m entangled in them, I pretty much know that I’ll win," he disclosed with that heart-fluttering smile of his.

Oh maybe I’ll win

and maybe I’ll lose

But this is the chance

This heart can’t refuse

So spin the wheel around

and round

and round

and let the chips begin to fall

Winner take all

Winner take all

"Does it ever get boring Jax? Raiding other companies and selling them off? Wouldn’t it be more fun to create companies of your own?"

"We occasionally do that too," he told her. "But honestly, it’s a LOT more fun raiding. I suppose you have to be player in the game to understand the thrill of it. It’s just the most awesome game one can play, Brenda, – any raider worth his salt will tell you that it’s the challenge of getting what you want that’s really the thrill, moreso than actually getting it in the end."

"So that’s why when you get it, you just sell it off?" she figured out.

Jax nodded. "And make a truckload of money in the process."

"That’s fascinating – what you do," she told him.

"What’s fascinating to me is that you’re interested in it," Jax told her. "What I do, I mean."

"I’m interested in everything about you," she told him. "I told you before I want to know you better than anyone knows you," she reminded him.

"Do you always set such impossible goals for yourself?" he asked her, and she did not even have to see his face to know he was grinning at her.

"Are you telling me I’ll never know you the way I want to?"

He hesitated a moment. "I have learned never to say never when it comes to you," he responded, recalling their initial meeting at the Quartermaine mansion and his many vows never to think about her again, never to kiss her again. All broken almost within moments of the vow being made.

"Smart man," she said tilting her head back and smiling at him. He bent his head and touched his lips to hers.

"Did you still want to go to that Luau?" he asked her. Brenda went to check her watch to see what time it was and laughed at this habit. She kept forgetting that she had lost her watch on Catalina Island. Jax watched her with a contemplative smile.

"Sure!" she said. "As long as you don’t stare at those hula girls when they’re swiveling their hips like crazy in front of you."

Jax helped her to her feet. "Ah, if only I could," he said as she slid her hand into his and they began to walk away from the harbor. "But alas, when I’m with you, I can’t seem to focus on anything else," he told her. "An annoying little dilemma I’m having a hard time solving."

She smiled in delight and kissed him as they headed for the fun, food, music and dancing of Maui’s most popular Luau.

When Jax got Brenda back to the villa much later that night, she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, tired out by the days activities. As she slept he reached into his pocket and pulled out a long black velvet box, opened it, and took out what was inside. It was a Movado tennis bracelet-style watch with an iridescent mother of pearl face surrounded by tiny diamond sparklers, and the bracelet part of the watch also was scattered with

two rows of the glittering white gems. He took her left hand in his and gently slid the watch onto her wrist, fastening the elegant jewel-clasp. He then turned out the lights, got into bed next to her, curled his arms around her, and fell asleep.

Early the next morning Brenda awoke, stretched, smiled over at the sleeping Jax next to her, and padded out of bed and into the bathroom. She then grabbed a cold glass of orange juice from the kitchen and went back into the bedroom where Jax was still sleeping (or so she thought. He had actually been up before her, had taken a shower and then climbed back into the bed pretending he was asleep until she woke up). Brenda sipped some of her juice

and then got back into the bed, delighting in being able to look at him this way while he was asleep. She resumed her position cuddled in his arms and watched the sun rising through the glass doors of the bedroom terrace. As was her cute little routine since she had gotten there, she wanted to check the time of the sunrise to see if the paper was right, so she pulled Jax’s hand from her belly to glance at his watch and was stunned to see that her

hand, which was holding his, had a watch on it as well. The most beautiful watch she had ever seen.

She gasped and sat up in the bed, her eyes amber-brown orbs of excited delight.

"Like it?" his voice whispered in her ear, and she spun around to see that he had not been asleep at all.

"Oh Jax, I LOVE it!" she said, her pleasure unchecked and positively contagious. "I love it!" she repeated, throwing her arms about him and then kissing him several times. "I love it, I love it! Thank you so much."

"You’re welcome," he said.

"I’ve never had anything so pretty!" she said, still stunned by this surprise.

He cradled her face in his hands. "Neither have I."

Her heart swayed within her at his compliment.

"I have a meeting that I have to go to in few hours," he told her. "The last one," he added. "I thought we could have a leisurely gourmet breakfast on the terrace before I go. And then later, if you’re feeling adventurous we could do the Maui Downhill - that’s riding a mountain bike down the panoramic winding paths of a dormant volcano. Or if you’re feeling philanthropic we could go to the Wyland Gallery. A little birdie told me that Mary

Baxter St. Clair is going to be there and we’ll be able to actually watch her working on one of her famous, enchanting little fairy sprite paintings. So - - -what’s your preference?" Jax asked.

She looked at him the way Stefan had observed she did – as if the sun could rise and set at Jax’s will.

"My preference," she said, "is this." She gave him a sweet, lingering kiss. And then another far more provocative kiss. And Jax knew that breakfast would just have to wait.

# # #

Later that Monday afternoon, Jax was at his meeting, leaving Brenda to her own devices for a few hours. Wearing a flattering violet tank-dress, Brenda took the camcorder Jax had sitting in the living room, and went outside, enjoying the beautiful day and recording memories of this Hawaiian paradise for herself to have when she and Jax would be returning home in a few days. She went to the Westin Maui shopping center and sat by the waterfall pond

watching the storks and the gorgeous exotic birds, videotaping them, and then just sitting back and watching them. The waterfalls reminded her of her wet and wild and infinitely wonderful adventure with Jax yesterday in Hana.

"God, I love that man," she sighed leaning back on her elbows on the bench, pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes and soaking in the beauty surrounding her.

Her heavenly peace was disturbed by someone sidling up next to her on the bench.

"Well hello pretty lady!" Rob Hanson said in his loud Texan accent.

"Oh, hello." Brenda said, doing her best to be polite to this man that Jax could not stand. He was dressed far too warmly for the weather and wore his big ten gallon hat too.

"I can’t believe that a smart boy like young Jasper would let you out of his sight for a minute," Rob Hasnon said, eyeing her meaningfully. "Especially lookin’ like that," he added with a long whistle as his eyes roved over her bare legs and the short violet summer dress she wore. "You know that old sayin’, finders keepers," he said silkily.

"Well I’m not lost," Brenda assured him, rolling her eyes behind the privacy of her sunglasses.

Hanson moved closer to her.

"Mr. Hanson," she said. "How is your wife?"

Hanson made a face. "Oh that old windbag? Who cares," he said, stunning Brenda.

Ever the clever one, Brenda immediately, inconspicuously moved her hand over to the red record button of her camcorder and set it in motion, unbeknownst to him.

"Wow, sounds like love," she joked, crossing her legs and folding both hands over her knee.

"Lord, she’s got a face a mother could love," he groaned, his eyes filling with distaste. "Nothin’ like that delicious thing you call a face," he said, giving her a wide smile. "Lord girl, your skin looks like satin. I bet it feels like to too, huh? And I tastes like strawberries, or peaches or somethin’ sweet and yummy like that," he said, licking his trembling lips as he gazed at her countenance with hungry, bloodshot eyes.

"Well, actually, Jax says I taste like honey," she said, and he looked quite irritated at the mention of Jax.

"Yeah well the old windbag tastes like sawdust. But even that beats the way she looks," he said with a cringe. "When that woman takes her clothes off it’s best to have a puke bucket near by."

Brenda was appalled at his unhidden disgust and complete disrespect for his own wife.

"Why did you marry her if you find her so - - -er - - - -"

"Repulsive?" he supplied. "Well it’s all about the money, darlin’. You’d be amazed at how easy it is to overlook those saddle bags and saggin’ boobs and varicose veins and that helluva ugly mug when the woman’s got a big ole bank account. It’s all about the money. I just keep the pitiful hag satisfied and I go out and get my own satisfaction elsewhere. You know, I’m a rich man, little lady. Not as rich as Jax, but I can give you things he can’t.

I’ve got experience, for one thing. I can show you things that boy couldn’t dream of doin’ to you in his wildest imagination."

"Mr. Hanson, I know this is hard for you to believe, but I am so not interested in you. And I really don’t see how you can even sit her and boldly proposition me like this when you’re married. Don’t you vows mean anything at all? I mean don’t you at least love her a little bit?"

Hanson laughed out loud. "Girl, how old are you anyway? Are you still readin’ fairy tales? You couldn’t pay me enough to love that hideous sack of misery. And there ain’t no such thing as lovin’ a person a little bit. You either love ‘em with every damn thing you’ve got or you don’t love ‘em a all. Ain’t no middle ground on that emotion. Sure I say the words and give her a little ten minutes of lovin’ every few weeks when I’m drunk enough to

stomach the sight of her in bed, but it’s all a show. Now YOU," he said, smiling at her, "Honey, you should steal a man’s heart right out from under him. Yep, I could fall in love with you, all right."

"Well I’m sorry to say it would NEVER be mutual," Brenda said, getting up. "You know I really should just go tell your poor wife what kind of a man you really are. The way you’re using her is disgusting," she said.

Hanson laughed. " Go right ahead, my pretty. Tell her. I’ll deny every damn word and tell her that you’re a lyin’ little slut makin’ moves on me, itchin’ to get to my bank account. Guess who she will believe?" he laughed again, his smile cocky, indicating he had pulled this before and Mrs. Hanson always believed his stories of being the pursued and not the pursuer.

"Well I wish I could say it was a pleasure running into you," Brenda said, packing up her camcorder and placing it casually over her shoulder. "But it wasn’t. And hopefully, Mr., Hasnon, you’ll soon get everything you deserve," she said with a sardonic smile as she went back to the villa, giddy with the explosive things she had gotten the man to confess to!

Back at the villa, she immediately popped the tape in the VCR to make sure it had recorded, crossing her fingers and then clapping in delight when it came out perfectly. Incriminating as hell!

"Oh Jax is going to be SO proud of me," she sang to herself as she dialed up his cell phone.

Jax was out of his meeting on his way back to the villa when the cell phone rang.

"This is Jax."

"And this is Brenda who you are going to absolutely LOVE after today," she bragged, laughter in her voice.

"Ahh - - - got something to tell me, do you?" he guessed, loving just hearing her voice.

"Yes!!!! Please tell me you’re on your way here."

"I am."

"Great! I’ll see you in a little while! Don’t stop off anywhere okay? Bye!" she said hanging up and then happily searching the kitchen for a bottle of champagne. She was SO incredibly proud of herself and the fact that she had done something that would help Jax SO much! This was going to be a night to celebrate!

As she placed the champagne in ice and searched for glasses, her head whipped around as she heard something on the news that blew her mind.

"This just in, picked up from the Associated Press. 25 year old Billionaire corporate raider Jasper Jacks is reportedly engaged to be married to Brenda Barrett, a nineteen year old college student at PCU - - -" the CNN anchor was saying.

"What?!" Brenda said in disbelief as she went to the living room, staring at the TV.

Jax entered the villa a few moments later with a paper in his hand while Brenda was inside still watching the TV, amazed at what she was hearing.

"Jax, you have to HEAR this!"

"Brenda, did you see this?"

They both realized they were talking about the same thing, the fast spreading word that the two of them were engaged to be married. Jax sat down next to her, picked up the remote control and rose the volume of the TV while Brenda took the paper from him and glanced at the page he had it on where the gossip section was talking about the engagement of Jasper Jacks and Brenda Barrett as told to the paper by a reliable source who was a "very close

friend of the couple."

"So who was it?" Jax said, crossing one ankle over his knee and glancing away from the TV and over at her. "Lois? Or Carly?"

Brenda laughed, still amazed by the rumor. "Well, excuse me, why does it have to automatically be blamed on one of MY friends? You have friends too, Jax. It could have been Ned or Stefan," she countered.

Jax just rose a perfect, questioning eyebrow that said ‘do you REALLY believe that’ and looked at her.

She sighed. "Okay, okay. IF one of my friends said this, they had to have a really good reason," Brenda defended, wishing she knew WHO she was defending and whether she had to be defending anyone at all.

"Well there’s one way to find out," Jax said, handing her the telephone and then glancing back at the TV which now had some reporter asking people on the street how they felt about Jasper Jacks getting taken off the market by a 19 year old college student.

Brenda called the cottage. It was close to ten p.m. there, so she knew both Calry and Lois had to be home and she needed answers. The last thing she wanted Jax to think was that SHE somehow had gotten her friends to orchestrate this little mess.

Carly was sitting in front of the TV watching CNN for any more reports on the engagement and she was knocking her fist on her head in agitation when she heard the phone ring. She knew who it was before she even picked it up.

"Brenda I can explain everything!" she said.

Brenda groaned inwardly. "Oh god, Carly, please tell me you did NOT do this!" she whispered frantically into the phone.

CJ

songs used: "The Way He Makes Me Feel" by Barbra Streisand and "Winner Take All" by The Platters.

The Kiss - 18

Jax watched Brenda as she spent twenty minutes on the phone getting the story from her friend and then hung up the phone.

He waited expectantly for her to explain this to him.

"Carly did it," she said.

Jax did not even whisper an ‘I told you so.’

"BUT she absolutely didn’t mean to do it," Brenda clarified quickly. "I mean, she didn’t actually DO it at all. Tracy Quartermaine did. But Carly’s the one who gave her the ammunition to go to the press with this." When Jax said nothing, Brenda sighed and stared at her hands. "Carly was at the Quartermaine’s waiting for Jason, and Tracy picked a fight with her. Apparently Tracy started to say a lot of really insulting things about me,

inferring that you -- uh -- only wanted me to --- well for physical reasons and -- well Carly got really upset over that and she just -- she wasn’t even thinking. She just wanted to - - " Brenda sighed again. "She told Tracy that you sent for me to come here so that you could ask me to marry you, Jax. She didn’t mean it, and she certainly NEVER thought Tracy would go to the press with it and make it blow up into this current situation, but it did

and she’s so sorry, and me too. I’m sorry."

Jax nodded. "Apologies accepted. Okay, well we’re going to have to leave here a little earlier than scheduled so that I can take care of this. We should probably leave tomorrow morning. Then I’ll just set up a press conference once we get back, and we’ll just nip this in the bud."

Brenda looked at him. "A press conference? What are you going to say?"

She looked somewhat alarmed, which puzzled him.

"Just the truth," he explained with a shrug. "That we are not planning any wedding, we’re not engaged," He paused, "We’re not in love - - "

She rose defiant eyes to him in protest of that last part, but at the last minute she held her tongue and glanced away from him.

"The sooner this is dealt with the better, Brenda. I deal with this kind of wild speculation all the time and, you know, and it’s really true that people believe whatever they read or see on TV," he said.

"I didn’t realize that the thought of people believing you wanted to marry me was so abhorrent to you, Jax," Brenda said. Her voice was cool and she seemed to be refusing to look at him.

"I didn’t say it was, and it isn’t," he told her. "But we’re not getting married, Brenda. Carly lied about it and those are the facts."

"I know that. I know we’re not engaged, I know Carly lied. But do you know what Tracy will do when you deny it so quickly on national television? I won’t be able to show my face anywhere in Port Charles without people laughing at me, Jax."

"That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?"

"No, it isn’t. Can’t we just - - -wait?" she asked, glancing at him endearingly.

Jax was perplexed by this whole thing and her not wanting to just set the record straight immediately, the way he did. "What exactly is waiting supposed to accomplish?" he asked her, trying to understand her logic.

"Well if we wait a while before telling people the truth, then Tracy won’t be able to make a fool of me the way she wants to," she said. "Because she’ll think it’s true!" she laughed, beautiful excitement in her eyes. "Only for a few months of course," she amended quickly when she saw his curious gaze. "Then we can say we had this big fight and that we realize that we’re not ready to get married. This way, you see, Tracy can’t use anything against

me, I’m not humiliated, and in the end we’re not married. Isn’t that the perfect solution? For everybody?"

"It’s convoluted is what it is. It’s just compounding one lie with another."

Brenda sighed at his practicality. Why were men like this?! "Jax, I am NOT going to let Tracy Quartermaine make me the laughing stock of the town!" she insisted with defiant, flashing eyes. Just the mere thought of Tracy Quartermaine cackling away while watching Brenda eat a crow sandwich was enough to make Brenda see red. No way on god’s green earth would she let that happen.

"So that’s what this is really about? This feud between you and Ned’s cousin? Look, Brenda, I would never phrase my denial of this in any way that would insult or humiliate you," Jax promised.

"But Jax, ANY denial at this point will humiliate me. Tracy will make sure of it. All you have to do is say it’s not true and you’ve given her exactly what she wants."

"No, it won’t happen that way. You’ll see, this will all be water under the bridge in a few days. I’ve dealt with these ridiculous situations before. Of course normally they ask me about it BEFORE they print it, but I suppose this time they actually thought this was true. Although I can’t imagine why," he murmured as a peculiar feeling of panic unexpectedly shot through him. Were his feelings for Brenda more visible than he thought they were?

Is that why this particular rumor was so easily believed and spreading like wildfire?

{Ridiculous situations?! He couldn’t imagine WHY anyone would believe it? Was the mere prospect of marrying her so ridiculous to him? Something he wanted to deny as soon as humanly possible on national television?!} She felt the blood boiling in her veins. How big of a fool was she? That she had actually held onto the hope that Jax was different from the Quartermaines of the world. But apparently when it came right down to the almighty

state of matrimony, he played by the same elitist rules as all of the other millionaires and billionaires. There were the women who you bedded and adored but would never marry, and then there were the women who you married but did not love and obviously, for Jax, Brenda was not the latter. She knew he loved her, she KNEW it with all of her heart despite the fact that he had never once said any such thing. But was love just a luxury to him?

Something he felt he could not afford to fall into with a woman who he would never marry? Was he just going to bury and ignore those feelings until they no longer existed and he could be free of them? Free to pursue a perfect little debutante wife whom he would never love? Suddenly she resented him thoroughly, the fact that he could bury those feelings while she could do nothing of the sort. Even now, as a part of her hated him, the greater part of

her still loved him madly.

"So that’s settled. I’ll handle the press in Port Charles tomorrow and this will blow over by the weekend, so let’s forget about it. Why don’t you tell me what you were you so excited to tell me about before when you called me?" he asked curiously, walking into the kitchen and preparing one of his famous tropical drink concoctions.

Brenda glanced at the camcorder on the table with the Rob Hanson tape in it as she leaned on the kitchen counter and a thought came to her. "Ummmm - - you know what? If we’re leaving tomorrow, I think I should pack. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be late for your big CNN press conference that’s going to ruin my life," she added.

"Oh come on, Brenda, you know I would never do anything to hurt you. Don’t you think you’re being just a tad melodramatic? When you think about it, this whole thing is Carly’s fault for stirring this silliness up in the first place. Apparently impulsiveness runs rampant through the women in your little cottage," he muttered.

"Don’t you dare blame this all on Carly, Jax. And by the way, I thought you LIKED impulsiveness," she reminded him, her tone cool, the physical distance between them growing as she took another step back. She thought that perhaps distance would help her to bury how much she loved him. Why should he be such a chameleon with his feelings while hers were so naked as to have been visible to Stefan on sight? No, she was determined not to let him see

it, know it, feel it. She wanted to bury it the way he could. If only she knew how to do that - - - -

"I like my impulsiveness in small doses," he responded. "Small, brown eyed, brunette doses," he added with a devastating smile that stopped her breathing for a moment. But she tried, and was successful, in not returning that smile or letting him see how much it affected her.

"Carly was only trying to defend me against the vicious lies of someone who would just as soon see me dead in the street somewhere," Brenda reminded him, feeling an irrational hostility towards him and the love she felt for him which refused to allow her to control it. She felt as if the love was her enemy at the moment. "She feels terrible enough as it is, Jax, and if you think I’m going to leave her out to dry in this whole mess you are so

wrong. You can go right ahead and humiliate me at your little press conference tomorrow if you wish, but I don’t want it revealed that Carly was the source of the rumor. You can just say it was me. It’s not as if I can be humiliated any more than I will be already once you deny the rumor."

"I’m not going to say it was you. Why would I do that?" Jax felt as if they were speaking two different languages suddenly. He could clearly see that she was struggling to downplay the love she felt for him which, unfortunately for her, was still evident despite her coolness towards him. But yes, those icicles were practically flying from her whenever she spoke to him now and her eyes baffled him because aside from the love, he could also see

what appeared to be hurt and disappointment, and he could not for the life of him figure out why she would look that way?

"If you blame Carly I will never speak to you again!" she declared.

"You seem on the verge of never speaking to me again, anyway," he observed, realizing just how upset over all of this she truly was becoming. "No one will be hung out to dry or humiliated, Brenda. It will just be a simple denial of the rumor on my part and I won’t even address the source issue, all right? And then life will go on. We don’t need to be on opposing sides about this."

She nodded in thanks of his sparing Carly, but she remained aloof and physically distant from him. He did not like it one bit. They were all about togetherness and warmth and incredible intimacy. This cool distance thing was not them and it was really bothering him.

"Brenda, it’s not like we’re breaking up or anything," he pointed out to her, thinking that perhaps she was thinking this was the case. "We’re still going to be together, it’s just -- this rumor will be squashed that’s all. As it SHOULD be, Brenda, it’s not the truth."

But she didn’t answer him as he watched her take her camcorder and go to the bedroom, presumably to pack.

The villa phone was ringing, Jax’s cell phone was ringing and the noise was driving him nuts, but he knew the calls were probably from reporters or friends trying to get confirmation or denial of this engagement rumor, so he let the phones ring unanswered.

Maybe Brenda was right. Maybe his denying it with such speed would cause embarrassment to her no matter how he phrased it. He wasn’t about to wait two months as Brenda had requested, but maybe he’d just announce it on Friday at the scheduled press conference about the Railroad. This would give Brenda a week of "being engaged to him" without his denying it to anyone, which baffled him as to how she felt it would make any difference once he finally

did deny it, but since it seemed important to her for some reason, he would do it.

He went to tell Brenda his decision and found that the bedroom was empty, the bedroom terrace doors were open, and Brenda was gone.

# # #

It was dark and raining when Brenda came back to the villa three hours later. The place was in darkness so Brenda assumed that Jax was asleep, or more likely out since it was only nine thirty. She walked through the terrace doors and into the dark bedroom, closing the terrace doors behind her to keep the rain out. As she shut the doors, she turned towards the bathroom and was startled to see Jax there, sitting in the chair by the phone, his

stunning features illuminated by nothing but the faint light given off by the terrace lights outside. She could see that his hair was wet. In fact, his whole body was wet as if he had been outside. His eyes were an unreadable mask of blue-green-teal. Deceptively calm.

She was about to open her mouth to say something when he spoke first. "Please don’t make a habit of this," he said into the darkness, and she heard the forced, controlled calmness in his voice belying the fury beneath.

"Don’t make a habit of what?" she asked, her voice as quiet as his.

"Disappearing without a word. Making me have to track you down," he responded. "In the rain," he added, recalling the time she had vanished from the party at his house on the fourth of July and how it had ended up raining then too. Then all at once he lost his cool and shot up from the chair, startling her. "Where the hell have you been, Brenda? I’ve been half out of my mind scouring the area for your for hours! I’ve got ten men

looking for you as we speak!"

Increasing his anger was the sight of her in the drenched, violet tank dress which so fueled his desire for her. Even in the semi-darkness of the room he could see the way the wet fabric of her clothing hugged her body and the way her dark hair clung to her beautiful face, her amber-brown eyes luminous and hypnotic, her dark lashes thick and defined. Everything within him wanted her, his body, his mind, his soul, his heart. He was furious at all

of them for making her the center of his universe. And he was furious at her disappearing act that had him looking all over for her like an idiot, and he was furious at his complete lack of emotional control when it came to her.

"I’m sorry," she apologized sincerely, seeing how truly upset he was and mortified that he’d actually set up a search party for her. "I just -- I didn’t think you’d be worried. I had some things I had to take care of and - - -"

"What did you say?" he asked in a such a calm, soft voice that she knew the explosion had to be mere seconds away. "You didn’t think I’d be WORRIED?" he erupted.

"No, Jax, I didn’t!" she erupted right back. "I’m out of my fantasy fog, now, okay? I had a lot of time to think by myself and I know the truth about us," she informed him hotly.

"What do you think you know, Brenda?" he asked quietly, visibly trying to clam down and get a hold of himself. But he was still aware enough to block her path out of the bedroom so that she could not scoot past him.

"That we don’t and will never FIT Jax. No -- correction. I don’t fit. Me. I don’t fit in your life or in your world or in your realm of the universe for that matter. I’m not the kind of woman that the members of the billionaire boys club would ever even THINK about proposing marriage to or god forbid making heirs with, right? So it’s no wonder you would find it so ridiculous and appalling that anyone would believe that you would ever want

to marry ME. See, I really get it now. But don’t worry, Jax, I’m sure your reputation will still be in tact as soon as you issue your denial of any such "lunacy" as a marriage proposal to the likes of me. I’m sure that tomorrow, once everyone realizes it’s not true and how ridiculous you even found the rumor, then they’ll just believe what Tracy has been saying all along. That I am nothing to you except your latest thrill in bed and - - -"

"Stop it," he said. "Don’t say those things ever again, Brenda" he said his eyes dark and serious like emerald blue storm clouds.

"This is America! I do still think I am allowed to say whatever I please!" she said almost hysterically, as her heart ached with an agonizing sorrow and she felt her dream just crashing around her like a glass building imploding. What good was knowing that he was in love with her if he would never in a million years marry her due to some asinine rules of those in the society he was a part of? She could never stand to be his mistress, his lover,

the ‘other woman’, the one he loved but could never be with. She could never stand to watch him get married to anyone but her and to raise a family with some perfect little rich girl who could not possibly love him or make him happy the way she did.

She felt that her hysterical unhappiness and self-pity, especially in the face of his maddening calmness, was just the last straw of embarrassment and she wanted to get away from him before she poured her heart out and made a complete and irreversible fool of herself. Her eyes flashed with her own anger and she tried to barge past him, but was stopped by his arm curving around her waist, stopping her forward movement. Once he was touching her he

attempted to take her into his arms.

She looked at him, how clam he was. The strength exuding from him so effortlessly, so magnetically. How sinfully attractive, he was. How she longed more than anything to make him hers and hers alone forever, and how she wished he had not so quickly laughed off as ridiculous, this entire marriage rumor. She stomped her foot in frustration as her heart raced in confusion and love surged within her despite her anger.

She was rattled by his nearness, by his eyes focused on her lips, and his head lowering and coming towards her.

"No!" she said in alarm. "I don’t want you to kiss me," she protested frantically, pushing her hands against his chest. "I - -don’t -- I don’t want to feel this way right now," she murmured, referring to the pulsation of wild pleasure and thrilling happiness that was pushing her angry, self-pitying melancholy aside like a bulldozer the moment he had touched her.

"What way?" he asked her with a hint of a smile, brushing his lips against her forehead.

"Jax, I mean it. I - - -"

His arms encircled her drawing her softness against his muscular frame and robbing her of the rest of her sentence by treating her to a kiss that was achingly delicious and soon became wildly exciting.

Trying desperately to keep her wits about her and keep her fading anger alive, Brenda dragged her lips from the sweet captivity of his and backed away from him as fast as she could, her traitorous body showing all visible signs of having intensely enjoyed what had just happened.

"I told you I don’t want to feel this way right now," she repeated somewhat breathlessly, staring anywhere but at those lips that she longed for or those arms that she wanted to be held by again, or those eyes that captivated her soul. She had to look away from him altogehter to prevent herself from rushing, happily back into this embrace, into his kisses. She sighed in irritation. "I need to be away from you right now," she decided making a move

to pass him.

He gently took hold of her arm to stop her. "Do you mind telling me where you were when I couldn’t find you for the past three hours?" he asked her softly.

"Yes I do mind!" she said, trying to kick-start her anger towards him again.

"I can find out, you know," he told her and his braggadocio both annoyed and thrilled her at the same time. She adored his confidence, she just didn’t want him to know that.So she said nothing in response to his claim.

Jax sighed and set her firmly down on the love seat in the bedroom, sitting directly across from her on the coffee table with her legs tucked in between his so that he could easily detain her if she decided to make a dash out of the room. "What is it that you expect me to do about this rumor, Brenda?" he asked her, trying to be logical and rational and get the same from her. "Do you expect me to marry you?"

She shook her head. "No. I know you’d never do that. You’ve made that perfectly clear."

The way she said that made Jax feel a strange, oddly sad discomfort deep inside of his heart.

"But can you at least wait before rushing to tell everyone it’s not true, Jax?" Brenda continued. "Can you at least not make it seem like the idea of marrying me is so undesirable to you that you need to deny it as soon as possible in as public a way as possible? Can you just please give me some time to figure out what Tracy will do once you deny it? And what I can do to stop her?"

"Yes, I can do that," Jax said, one hand reaching forward to touch her wet hair. "I’ll wait, Brenda. That’s what I was going to tell you before you disappeared to god knows where. I had decided not to address the engagement rumors until Friday when I have the Railroad press conference with Hanson. That’s four days away."

Brenda nodded. "Thank you."

"As to your absurd notion that I find the thought of marrying you appalling or feel that you are unworthy of me or any other silly excuses you came up with," Jax said, "you are completely wrong about that. My haste in wanting to put this rumor to rest has nothing to do with US or how I feel about YOU or whether or not I do, would, or will ever want to marry you. It merely has to do with the fact that this rumor is not true and I simply wanted to

set the record straight before the whole world takes it as fact. I really don’t see the point of putting this off for four days, but I’m willing to do it since you seem so convinced that it will make some sort of difference."

"So then this has nothing to do with you being embarrassed that they would believe you’d marry someone like me?"

"Embarrassing me has got to be the most impossible thing that anyone can do to me," he confided in her. "Because I don’t generally care what people think of me -- most people. Certain people do matter, of course, you being one of them, now. Brenda, if I was ever going to marry anybody, it would be someone exactly like you. And if that ever comes to pass I’ll shout it from every mountain on the planet and leak the bloody rumors myself. But

I don’t like lies, Brenda. And this rumor about us, no matter how it got started, is a lie. So I want to clear it up as soon as possible, and that was my only motivation for wanting to call the press conference tomorrow. It had nothing to do with not wanting to ever marry you or not thinking you were good enough to be linked in a marriage rumor with me. So please don’t be insulted, don’t be hurt, don’t be disillusioned, and don’t be angry with

me. There is no need for any of that overly emotional kind of reaction to something as simple as this."

She smiled a little, the first smile from her he had seen in hours and it was like sunlight after an ominous stretch of darkness. His heart did funny, pleasant things. He shifted his eyes away from her momentarily and then back.

Before either of them knew what was happening a mutual, and profoundly powerful surge of rapturous passion overtook them. In less than a second Jax had her in his arms kissing her passionately as desire, and the blossoming love they both were trying to keep a lid on, swept through them like a swirling tornado. It was so wild and infinitely beautiful and nothing could stop it as they ignored the bed and tumbled onto the soft, expensive rug. Brenda

looked into his mesmerizing eyes one second before he once again took her lips in a kiss so deeply erotic that it had her world reeling off its axis in a searing pleasure too good to be real.

Love is real

Real is love

Love is feeling

Feeling love

Love is wanting

To be loved

He kissed her again, and again, and again, his hands shifting along her body, undressing, her, arousing her, seducing her into that perfect place where only he could take her. Her parted lips moved with wild sensuality over his as her tongue did a slow provocative tango with his, her hands curling into his blonde hair as she moaned helplessly in surrender.

Love is touch

Touch is love

Love is reaching

Reaching love

Love is asking

To be loved

Jax’s heart lost as much control as his body did as he felt both giving themselves to her in a way he had never envisioned he would give himself to a woman, let alone a girl. A nineteen year old girl. His eyes locked with hers and she saw the startled fascination within them swirling about hypnotically, beautifully. He took her breath away. He set her body on fire. He made her heart sing, He made her soul fly.

Love is you

You and me

Love is knowing

You can be

Wrapping his arms around her, Jax rolled onto his back, taking her with him, his hands eloquent of his urgency as they raced over her satiny skin, his legs tangling with hers.

Love is free

Free is love

Love is living

Living within love

Love is needing

To be loved

Somewhere in the fiery splendor of his mind Jax told himself to slow down, to control himself, she was only a woman, she was only a girl. She was only human even if she did look like she was part goddess. He should not feel this way. She should not be able to make him feel this way. But his body laughed at the commands of his will and his heart laughed even louder, as feelings and need flooded them like never before. He felt Brenda’s insistent

kisses running down his chest. Shuddering with a need that refused to bend to the will of his control, Jax rolled her onto her back, his hand sliding down along her thigh as he kissed her lips, alternating between an otherworldly tenderness, and a startling, riotous passion.

"I’m sorry sweetie," he whispered hoarsely, realizing that his control was now non-existent. "I can’t wait - - - -" He slid tan fingers into her luxuriant, wet hair imprisoning her face in his hands as he kissed her all over. "I want you," he whispered urgently, his eyes blazing with an intense, smoky beauty into hers.

"I want you too," she echoed

"I need you," he said.

"I need you too," she echoed once more.

He felt Brenda’s arms wrapping around him, her body moving against his in stormy desire as she gave herself to him completely.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she said in quick fevered whispers, her eyes closed, her body in heaven.

"I love you too," he echoed. But his echo was a silent one said only to himself. Had Brenda had her eyes open at that precise moment, however, she would have seen that love with a shocking clarity that would have made her tremble with disbelief.

Love is you

You and me

Love is wanting

To be free

Love is knowing

We will be

As soon as they could both breathe again, Jax turned to her, eyes full of things that made her tingle all over. "I’m sorry," he said with a boyish grin. "I wanted you so much. I just – I couldn’t wait."

Brenda smiled at him. "I didn’t want you to wait."

"I don’t usually lose control that way," he said, more to himself than to her. "In fact, I never have."

"Well I’m flattered that I was the one who made it happen," she whispered.

He turned to her, the look of fascination back in his eyes. "You are," he said, touching her in that reverent way as if he was not sure she was really there. "You’re the only one who ever has," he confessed as he placed one arm beneath her knees and lifted her into his arms, carrying her over to the bed. His desire for her surged through him with renewed force and he kissed her belly slowly, moving upwards, eager to get to her soft lips. He took

her lips in a sweet kiss that grew deeper and deeper and deeper until she was moaning with pleasure against his mouth and they were once again making love. And this time, when Jax made love to her he lingered over her for hours, lavishing his lovemaking expertise upon her blissful body, making up for his urgent, wild, passion-crazed haste of before. He took Brenda to peak after peak of trembling ecstasy, joining her there as they spent the night

making incredible love.

As the purple streaks of the pre-sunrise dawn rose like mystical mists in the perfect Maui sky, Jax gazed down at the sleeping woman in his arms. He wondered if she would remember telling him she loved him? Three times. He almost regretted not saying it back to her. He knew his silent admission did not count.

He bent down and kissed the ear of his sleeping beauty. "I love you," he whispered to her. He never intended to say it again. But at least he had said it out loud, he rationalized with a slick smile. It was not his fault that she was such a sound sleeper.

He shut his eyes then, his chin resting atop her head.

Just as she, a gleeful, dimpled smile on her face, opened hers.

Love is you

You and me

Love is wanting

To be free

Love is knowing

We will be

CJ