Date: 	Sunday, November 15, 1998 9:05:51am
Subj: 	 Re: Fran

One summer day in 1997, I woke up early, and for lack of anything better
to do, I decided to bite the bullet and go see "Batman and Robin." Two
and a half hours later, I walked out of the AMC-309 with two thoughts
buzzing in my head: firstly, whoever wrote that screenplay should be
flogged, severely. Secondly, boy, did they ever rip off "Swamp Thing"! I
trotted back to my computer and posted a message to that effect to
alt.tv.swamp-thing, and, well... you know the rest. In many ways, that
gawdawful movie was a total waste of celluloid. But because of it, I got
to meet (cyberspacially speaking) many really cool people, and for that
alone, it was worth Arnie's salary.  

One of those people was Fran. And damn, she was cool. She dug Arcane and
Red Dwarf and Cthulhu and Hellblazer and Army of Darkness. She
commiserated with me about our crappy computers and gimpy ISP's. She
listened to me gripe about the misery of life in Lansdale, without once
getting the acute urge to bitch-slap me. And she kept my contribution to
'Houma Files' from being a totally cocked-up mess of misspellings and
continuity gaffes. She was a great fanfic-critic. Even though I didn't
always take her suggestions, they always made me think about what I was
doing. I'm glad my all-too-infrequent efforts made her smile. And I'm
sorry I didn't get part 3 of 'Temporary Insanity' finished in time for
her to see it. 

I would have gotten all this rambling done sooner, but every time I sat
down at my computer, I'd end up slogging through my old Hotmail folders
looking for Fran's messages. One of the things we were always
speculating about was a group get-together in Vegas. She was going to
visit me at our new place in California. I was going to take a European
vacation so she could show me the scenic sights of Leeds. Things didn't
pan out. Now they never will... Damn it. I know Fran didn't want us to
mope over this, but I guess moping just comes naturally to me. Moping,
and procrastinating. I wish I would have taken time out from my own
self-pity-fest to answer her emails sooner, to make that really boss
get-well card I was going to send her, to take that vacation... before
it was too late. 

I didn't even know she had cancer. I mean, I knew she had something
nasty and chronic, but I didn't press for details. Maybe I didn't *want*
to know, didn't want it gnawing at me that every email might be the last
one. I don't know if it would have been better or worse if I hadn't had
the idea that this would pass, she'd get better, and we'd soon be
ad-libbing loopy Arcane-meets-Nyarlathotep scenarios again. Now I just
wish I'd done something. Sent that card. Finished 'Temporary Insanity'.
Raged at God for allowing Fran to suffer while Jesse Helms walks around
scot free. Something. Anything. 

JJ, feel free to use this on your page. And I hope you're right about
the afterlife. 

-Dara