Title: 'Twas the Night Before New Year
Author: Helen Boyle
DISCLAIMER ETC.
The following script was drafted to fit into Series Two or Three of BallyK.
The assumption has been made that Assumpta 1) didn't die, and 2) didn't
marry Leo. For the purpose of this script, Peter and Assumpta have not
revealed their affection for one another.
I make no pretence about following correct script writing procedure, nor
about the contents of this script being particularly plausible or true to
prior characterisation (I tried my best, however). Please do not attempt to
discover a plot in this tale, as there is unfortunately none.
I also make no claim to originality, and freely confess that I have stolen
ideas both directly and indirectly from film, television, novels, real life,
and the demented visions within my mind. I do, however, claim copyright
over the way I have pieced together that which I have stolen.
Above all, please enjoy, or at least tolerate.
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEAR
SCENE: Interior Fitzgeralds. Day.
Assumpta is busily pulling down Christmas decorations.
Brendan, Siobhan and Padraig are sitting at the end of the bar.
They become aware of what Assumpta is doing.
Brendan: You're taking them down already?
Assumpta: Well Christmas is over afterall
Brendan: Sure, but the turkey's not even cold
Padraig: We don't want to be having too much fun now, do we Assumpta?!
Assumpta: Not on my time we don't
Siobhan: We have to start thinking about ringing in the New Year now I
suppose
Assumpta: (without stopping) A bottle of red and a nice long sleep I say
Brendan: (overly Irish) Ah, your community spirit warms the very cockles
of me heart Assumpta
Assumpta: That's nice for ya
Peter enters Fitzgeralds. There is a chorus of welcome.
Peter: You're taking them down already?
Assumpta: (spins around to face him) Oh for the love of God, you'd think
I'd committed a crime! How many days of Christmas are there
anyway!
Siobhan: I believe that's twelve Assumpta
Assumpta: About eleven too many if you ask me
Brendan looks to Padraig
Brendan: Did we ask her?
Padraig: No, I don't believe we did
Brendan: (to Assumpta) We didn't ask you!
Assumpta: (sardonically) Cute!
They all chuckle. Assumpta isn't amused.
Ambrose and Niamh enter Fitzgeralds.
Niamh: You're taking them down already?
Assumpta: Argh!
Assumpta storms into the kitchen.
The others laugh heartily.
Niamh is confused.
Niamh: What did I say!?
ROLL OPENING CREDITS
SCENE: Interior Fitzgeralds. Day cont.
Ambrose, Niamh, Peter, Brendan, Siobhan, and Padraig are all at the
bar. Assumpta is returning from the kitchen.
Ambrose: How was the trip home Peter?
Peter: Full of the usual joys and tribulations associated with a full
family Christmas. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Assumpta looks at him and scoffs. Peter decides to ignore it.
Peter: (looking at Assumpta but addressing Ambrose) And how was Christmas
here?
Assumpta: Challenging as always.
Brendan: Don't worry Peter, we didn't let anything exciting happen without
you
Siobhan: We were just about to hatch schemes for New Years Eve. Any ideas?
Assumpta: (acidicly) A round of the Rosary perhaps?!
Peter: (glares at Assumpta then turns to Siobhan) Well...we used to have
a tradition in Manchester...
Assumpta: This should be good
Peter: (casting a raised eyebrow of disapproval in Assumpta's direction)
...as I was saying, we used to have a tradition in Manchester that
each New Years Eve we'd have a formal sit down dinner. (Impressed
with himself) Not quite black tie, but cutlery and everything
Assumpta: Nice change from having the feed bag strapped around your neck,
then drinking till you throw up I'll bet
Siobhan: (Ignoring Assumpta) Looks like we have our plan then...
Assumpta: Yeah, but where are we going to find that many feed bags?
Siobhan: That'll be great thanks Father
Assumpta: I guess Eamonn might have a few
Peter: (Anxiously) Oh no, I couldn't do it!
Siobhan: Why not then?!
Peter: I don't have the room for starters
Niamh: Sure you could host it here
Assumpta: (with a laugh) You'd be hopeful!
Padraig: Aw come on Assumpta
Brendan: What do you think Peter?
Assumpta: Hang on a second!
Peter: (hesitant given Assumpta's objections) I don't know
Ambrose: Sure it'd be perfect!
Assumpta: (looking for an out, to Peter) Don't you have to say mass that
night, or something?!
Peter: We do get the occasional reprieve Assumpta
Niamh: We'd all pitch in, make some fancy dishes
Siobhan: Absolutely. Peter can be our co-ordinator and Assumpta can act as
host, lending us this fine establishment
Assumpta: Me? Host?
Siobhan: Yeah, why not?!
Peter: (mock thoughfulness) You're intelligent...presentable...
responsible...of course, you realise you will have to make a
sincere effort to mitigate some of the more off-putting, not to
mention obnoxious, aspects of your personality
Assumpta: (unable to help smiling) Well if you sweet talk me like that how
could I possibly refuse
Brendan: That's settled then. Decorum and sophistication shall be the order
of the day
Assumpta: Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it!
Peter: Oh ye of little faith!
Assumpta: You know me.
SCENE: Exterior. Evening falls over Ballykissangel.
Peter is in St Joseph's blowing out candles.
Ambrose and Niamh are clearing up in their kitchen.
Assumpta is shutting up Fitzgeralds.
Liam and Donal are in a shed looking intently into a cardboard box.
Darkness falls.
SCENE: Exterior. Morning has broken over Ballykissangel.
Peter is walking from the church towards Fitzgeralds. He suddenly
stops as a group of cockroaches run across his path. He dashes out
of their ways and pulls a disgusted face.
SCENE: Inside Hendley's, Kathleen is scurrying about with a broom, swiping
at the floor, mumbling "Get out, dirty vermin!" She lifts the broom
to reveal a squished cockroach.
SCENE: Interior Fitzgeralds. Assumpta has a rolled up magazine. She whacks
it down on the bar and glances around to see if anyone has noticed.
She raises the magazine to reveal a squished cockroach.
Siobhan, Brendan, Padraig, Liam and Donal are all at the bar.
Siobhan: Another one?
Assumpta: Yeah. They're out of control. I'm just waiting for the health
inspector to pay a surprise visit, and just top this whole festive
season off!
Donal: Mr Quigley says it's one of the seven signs of the second coming
Brendan: (amused) Of the Lord?
Liam: The man himself!
So it can't be that bad
Liam and Donal nod enthusiastically.
Assumpta: Are you both mental!?
Donal: Not at all. (Seriously) It's the plague
Padraig: I think you'll find a plague of locust would be more likely Donal
Donal: Mr Quigley said he was going to get some reporters to come and
cover the event. Says it'll do wonders for the tourist trade
Brian appears at the door of Fitzgeralds unbeknown to the others
Assumpta: Well that's just typical of his type isn't it?!
Brian: My type?
Assumpta looks around, obviously surprised by Brian's presence.
Brian: My type? What does that mean, my type?
Assumpta: (shrugs) Narcissistic pseudo intellectual entrepreneurs who believe
everyone else in the world is merely there to act as extras in
their star vehicle
Peter arrives and listens in interestedly. He catches Brendan's eye and
raises a questioning eyebrow. Brendon smiles and shrugs. They all look on
with curious amusement.
Brian: How long have you been practising that little speech?
Assumpta: The Lord himself has merely a guest role in the self-promotional
life and times of Brian Quigley
Brian: Let's hear you complain like that when this place is on the
international map and you're so busy you have to turn people away
Assumpta: You're too right I'd turn them away. Hoards of religious phoneys
is the last thing I'd want. I'd sooner have Kathleen to tea.
Padraig: What do you think Father? Is there a chance Jesus will be coming
to BallyK?
Peter: I think there's a greater chance of seeing Assumpta at church on
Sunday!
Brendan: We wont expect him anytime soon then hey Peter?!
Assumpta: The chance would be a fine thing
Brian: Well now that I've been well and truly insulted, might I
straighten out a few facts?
Assumpta: (sarcastically) Oh please, indulge us
Brian: Firstly, I did not say that I would get the press here (glares at
Donal), I said I'd get a professional exterminator. And secondly,
I said this plague could kill off our already dead tourist trade
Donal: (obviously caught out) Oh right. My mistake.
The others exchange amused glances.
SCENE: Dusk in Ballykissangel.
Eamonn is at a trough of pig swill, waving his arms frantically. It
is swarming with cockroaches
Eamonn: Get outta here, the lotta ya
SCENE: Liam and Donal are in the same shed staring into the same box.
Donal: Do you think it's worth it
Liam: Winners aren't just born overnight
SCENE: Late evening. Fitzgeralds.
Assumpta is clearing up. Everyone is leaving except Peter. The
gentle rumble of thunder can be heard in the distance. Assumpta
notices Peter is making no move to leave.
Assumpta: I'm closing. Do I have to throw you out?
Peter: I'd like to see you try
Assumpta: Alright then
Assumpta moves to the front of the bar. She smiles at Peter and sits at the
bar with him. They are alone.
Peter: I just thought we should go over the arrangements for Friday
night
Assumpta: Friday night?
Peter: New Years Eve! Our dinner party!
Assumpta: Oh right - the screaming farce
Peter: Nice!
Assumpta: What's it got to do with me? I thought I was just supplying the
venue?
Peter: Well yeah, I just thought...
Assumpta: Thought what?
Peter: (obviously a bit shy about asking) thought you might like to help
me out a little
Assumpta: Help you?
Peter gets up to leave
Peter: Forget it! Sorry I asked
Assumpta: No, no. Come back. I was only joking. I'll help you
Peter: (relieved) Thanks
Assumpta: I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing at midnight than
trying to figure out how to entertain the deity, and I use the
term *very* loosely, of Ballykissangel for hours on end on one of
the most over-rated evenings of the year
Peter: (deliberately misunderstanding her) Yeah I'm looking forward to it
too
Assumpta grabs a notebook and pen
Assumpta: So who's coming?
Peter: Well, obviously me and you
Assumpta: Obviously
Peter: (counting on his fingers) Brendan, Siobhan, Padraig, Ambrose and
Niamh. I guess Liam and Donal
Assumpta: Dumb and dumber
Peter: Michael hopes to make it, and if Brian's managed to successfully
drive every cockroach out of Ireland he should be here
Assumpta: That's it?
Peter: And Father Mac said he'd be delighted to attend
Assumpta: (horrified) No way! Not in my pub he isn't. Deals off. Find
yourself another party place. You must be dreaming
Peter: Assumpta! Assumpta I was kidding
Assumpta: Oh. (Regaining her composure) I knew that
Peter: Ah huh!
Assumpta: (with a relieved laugh) Thank God! I mean how much fun could New
Years Eve be with a priest around
Peter: Ah hem?
Assumpta: Oh, sorry!
SCENE: Exterior. Night. Fitzgeralds
Pan out to a shot including the night sky and moon. It begins to
rain. Lightening brightens the sky. Slowly zoom back to the lighted
windows of Fitzgeralds.
SCENE: Interior. Fitzgeralds. Same evening but later.
Both Peter and Assumpta look worn out. They are surrounded by bits
of paper and empty glasses.
Peter: There sure is a lot to organise
Assumpta: You're not wrong
Peter: I hope we haven't overcommitted
Assumpta: (cheekily) Perhaps we could conjure up some divine help with your
religious abilities and get some poor soul stuck in purgatory to
work their way into heaven by giving us a hand here. I'll set up
a little seance shall I?
Peter: (jovially) That's not religion you heathen, that's voodoo!
I'm sure we can manage
Assumpta is visibly tired. She yawns and rubs her eyes.
Assumpta: Yeah, well, you're welcome to work your heart out, but I'm not
the one who took some vow based on some parochial idea of selfless
servitude. I'm going to bed. You should go before this storm gets
any worse.
Assumpta gets up.
Peter: (tentatively) Assumpta?
Assumpta: (she flops back down in her chair) Yes
Peter: (knowing he's treading on thin ice) Why do you hate the church so
much?
Assumpta: (with a shocked gasp) What?
Peter: Why do you hate the church so much? I mean you've been pretty acidic
lately, even for you
Assumpta: (taken aback) Why do you love it so much?
Peter: I asked you first
Assumpta: I asked you second
Peter: I'm serious
Assumpta: So am I
Peter is thoughtful for a moment, then continues in a slightly dismissive
tone so as not to make the conversation too heavy.
Peter: I guess, because it gives my life meaning and reason; shows
there's something bigger than just me. Don't you ever wonder just
what it is that gives your life meaning?
Assumpta: I get plenty of meaning right here. What greater reason could
there be in life than to serve copious amounts of alcohol to those
who arrive at my door. I don't need the church telling me how to
live my life to get meaning and reason
Peter: No one's saying you do
Assumpta: Oh really?!
Peter: Yes really!
Assumpta: I'd like to see what your boss has to say about that
Peter: The church is there to merely act as a facilitator
Assumpta: Oh here we go!
So what? You're like some sort of spiritual conduit? Is that it?
What makes your religion more powerful than any other religion?
More powerful than Buddism, or music, poetry, science, or
mysticism? Or voodoo for that matter?
Peter: (shrugs) My faith
Assumpta suddenly becomes irritable and deadly serious.
Assumpta: Yeah well it's easy to have faith when life's just peachy keen
isn't it
She gets up annoyed
Peter: What does that mean?
Assumpta: Nothing
Peter: No. I want to know
Assumpta: (she stops and comes back to him) Fine! It just means that maybe
if you spent a little less time blindly following your faith you'd
realise that the world isn't all sweetness and light. Things don't
always work out the way you planned. Life's hard Peter. You can't
just go to church on Sunday and expect all your problems to go
away. People spend their lives running into one obstacle after
another. And just as soon as things start going your way you can
bet there's something waiting around the corner to kick you in the
guts. When everything you care about...
Assumpta stops herself, obviously changing her mind about what she's saying,
then continues
Assumpta: ...I've spent my life picking myself up and I don't need you, or
your church, telling me how to live. I've coped up till now by
myself and I'll continue to cope without your help
Peter: (caringly) Assumpta
Assumpta shrugs off his concern
Assumpta: Oh open your eyes Peter
Peter: My eyes are wide open, but what is faith if not blind. A belief in
something that can't be proven. I can't just opt out at the first
thing that goes wrong
Assumpta: What do you know about things going wrong? Your life's mapped out
for you. The biggest trauma you face each day is what to eat for
breakfast
Peter: You know that's not true
Assumpta: (tiredly) Yeah well
Peter: You want a guarantee. You can't get that
Assumpta: I don't want anything
Peter: No I didn't mean...
Assumpta: ...especially from you.
(She shakes her head disappointedly)
I thought you were different Peter, but I guess it was only a
matter of time before we got around to the old conversion lecture
Peter: That's ridiculous
Assumpta: Is it
Peter: So I can't even ask you a question
Assumpta: Apparently not
There is silence for a moment as they look at each other, realising they've
both said too much.
Assumpta: Go on, clear off!
Peter: What?
Assumpta: Leave!
Peter: No!
Assumpta: No?
Peter: That's right, no. I won't leave you like this
Assumpta: (loosing patience) Get out of here...now!
Peter: Assumpta, please don't do this
Assumpta: I'm not doing anything. You're trespassing, so unless you want me
to call Ambrose you'd better get out of my pub
Assumpta glares at Peter but he remains motionless.
Assumpta: Right. Then I'll leave
She gets up and heads to the door.
Peter: Huh? What are you doing? Where are you going?
She opens the door and steps out into the pouring rain and calls over her
shoulder
Assumpta: Away from you!
Peter gets up, chasing after her out into the rain.
Peter: (calls to her back) Are you going to spend your whole life doing
this? Constantly shutting people out? Maintaining this bravado -
strong, independent, and alone?
Assumpta stops in her tracks, spins around and gives a disbelieving laugh
Assumpta: Oh that's rich coming from you!
Peter: Maybe if you spent a little less time being bitter and angry,
you'd realise just how many people there are who care about you
Assumpta
She takes a menacing step towards him
Assumpta: Who gave you the right...
Peter: (more gently) You're not alone
Assumpta: (seething) Do not presume to think that I am not acutely aware of
what is happening to me
She pushes back past Peter and runs into the pub, slamming the door behind
her. She turns and collapses against it, sopping wet, drawing in a deep
breath.
Outside Fitzgeralds Peter stands staring up into the night sky. Suddenly the
door to Fitzgeralds opens again and Assumpta flings Peter's coat to him. It
lands on the wet ground at his feet. A momentary look of regret flashes
across Assumpta's face. However, she again slams the door. Peter stands for a
moment then picks up his coat and puts it on, pulling it tight around
himself and heads of towards St Josephs, kicking the ground as he goes.
SCENE: Morning. Ambrose and Niamh's kitchen. Ambrose is clearing dishes
and Niamh is feeding Kieran.
Niamh: You've got to do something Ambrose. They're out of control
Ambrose: What can I do?!
Niamh: Well you're the Guard aren't you?!
Ambrose: I can't order them out of town Niamh, they're cockroaches.
Or perhaps you'd like me to shoot them all, is that it?
Niamh: I don't know! But something has to be done. Where did they all
come from anyway?!
SCENE: Liam and Donal are in the same shed as previously. They are looking
into the same box. Liam pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and
reads it while Donal picks up a stick and starts poking around in the box.
SCENE: Exterior. Fitzgeralds. Same morning. Assumpta is cleaning the
outside windows. Niamh is walking across the road toward her.
Niamh: Getting all spic and span for tonight then hey?
Assumpta: (slightly startled) Huh? Oh, yeah.
Niamh: So is it all ready then?
Assumpta: What?
Niamh: Everything for tonight
Assumpta: How should I know
Niamh: (confused) Aren't you organising things?
Assumpta: No. Not me. That's Peter's little brain-child
Niamh: (concerned) Aren't you helping?
Assumpta: (pleading) Niamh
Niamh: Ok then, so is Peter all organised?
Assumpta: I'm not his keeper Niamh. Why not ask him
Niamh: I just thought since it was being held here, you'd...
Assumpta: Well you thought wrong then
Niamh: But...
Assumpta: Niamh! I haven't seen Peter, alright. I assume he's got everything
under control. Didn't he ask you to make a dish?
Niamh: (catching on to the fact that they had a fight) Oh I see. Yeah he
did. (Soothingly) I'm sure it'll all be fine
Assumpta: I'm glad you're sure
Niamh: I'll see you tonight then
Assumpta: See ya
Niamh heads off up the road and passes Peter on his way towards Fitzgeralds.
Niamh smiles reassuringly.
Niamh: Morning Father
Peter: Niamh
Niamh: How are you?
Peter: All the better for seeing you Niamh
Niamh smiles and walks on. Peter reaches Fitzgeralds. Assumpta is still
busily cleaning. She doesn't stop and doesn't look up.
Peter: Hey!
Assumpta: (without looking at him) Hey
Peter: (deciding to cut to the chase) Look I know you hate me right now,
but no more than I hate myself. I had no right to say the things
I said. If I could take it all back I would...
Assumpta: (she finally stops and looks at him) I don't hate you Peter
Peter: Loath?
Despise?
Intensely dislike?
Assumpta: There are just certain things (she takes an exhausted breath)...
things that I'm not ready to deal with, that I don't have the
strength to deal with, and you seem to have a unique talent of
making me think about them
Assumpta pauses and looks at Peter to see if he understands. He is listening
intently.
Assumpta: And possibly I over-reacted, just a little, the other night
Peter: I'm sorry I upset you
Assumpta: Yeah, well you're forgiven I guess
Peter: (meaning more than the fight) I *am* sorry
Assumpta: (to break the slightly uncomfortable intensity of the moment) You
can drop the pure-of-heart act, I don't buy it for a minute
Peter: Let us be friends and quarrel no more
Assumpta smiles at Peter and he smiles back with relief. Suddenly Peter
looks down at his feet, jumps and lets out a girly scream.
Assumpta: (concerned) What?
Peter: (ashamed) Cockroach
Assumpta: (rolls her eyes) Real scary!
Peter: Well, I guess I've got a dish to make before tonight
Assumpta: Do I need to do anything?
Peter: Just show up
Assumpta: I live here
Peter: Indeed you do. Easy then! I'll see you around six so we can add
some festive touches?
Assumpta: I'll be waiting
Peter: Bye
Assumpta: See ya
Peter starts walking back towards St Josephs, but then turns back and calls
out
Peter: You could arrange pens and paper for everyone
Assumpta: What?
Peter: You know - pens and paper. Pre the information technology
revolution
Assumpta: What did your last slave die of?!
Peter: Insolence!
Assumpta laughs and Peter once again heads off up the road. She watches him
go.
SCENE: New Years Eve. Interior Fitzgeralds. The pub is completely empty.
There is no sound or movement anywhere. The outside door opens
slowly and Peter pops his head in. He looks around and calls out
Peter: Assumpta?
There is no response. He walks inside and shuts the door, then calls again
Peter: Assumpta?
Again no response. So he looks in the kitchen and call again
Peter: Assumpta?
From upstairs Assumpta calls down
Assumpta: Yeah yeah, I'm coming
Assumpta appears at the top of the stairs making final adjustments to her
outfit. She walks down the stairs without looking up. She stops short of the
bottom of the stairs as she looks up at Peter. They both stand stunned with
mouths agape for a moment. Assumpta is in a black evening dress and Peter is
dressed in suit and tie.
Assumpta lets out a nervous laugh
Assumpta: Are you allowed to wear that Peter?
Peter: No, no I'm not. Breaking the slightly less-known 11th Commandment
actually
Assumpta: Ha ha
Peter: (looking at Assumpta with admiration) Are you allowed to wear
that?!
Assumpta: What's wrong with it?
Peter: (smiling) Nothing. It's just you could lead many a man to a sinful
thought in an outfit like that
Assumpta: Oh bog off Peter. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
(With a grin) I should know!
They both look at each other, trying to conceal their mutual admiration
SCENE: Donal's house. Early Evening. Donal is in the kitchen. Liam enters
from the living room carrying a plastic bag. They are both in suits.
Liam: Come on Donal, we'll be late
Donal: Right. I'm just getting my dish
Liam: What did you make?
Donal: Lasangna
Liam: Beef or vegetable?
Donal: I'm not sure
Liam: You're not sure?
Donal: I'll check
Donal goes to the freezer and removes a frozen instant dinner packet
Donal: Beef
Liam: Oh for pities sake Donal!
Donal: What!?
Liam pulls the exact same packet out of his plastic bag. It's dripping.
Liam: You could have at least defrosted it first!
SCENE: Fitzgeralds. Interior. Peter and Assumpta are setting a long table.
Peter takes some chips from the middle of the table.
Assumpta: Drop it!
Peter hurriedly stuffs the chips in his mouth and then speaks with it full
Peter: Ooops! Too late
The door to Fitzgeralds opens and Niamh and Ambrose enter. Ambrose is
carrying a dish.
Niamh: Happy almost New Year
Peter: Welcome, welcome
Ambrose: We come bearing food
Assumpta: Great! What have you got there then?
Ambrose: Beef lasagna
Assumpta: Mmm, perfect!
Peter: So where's little Kieran?
Niamh: Who?
Ambrose: Our son
Niamh: Oh right! Ambrose's mother decided to stay on till after the New
Year - she's got him
Assumpta: Oh, (dubiously) how nice
Niamh: (with little enthusiasm) Yes, isn't it swell
The door to Fitzgeralds bursts open and Brendan, Siobhan and Padraig enter
full of cheer.
Brendan: Happy New Year all!
They all respond in kind. Siobhan offers her dish to Assumpta.
Siobhan: Beef lasagna
Brendan: Mines the same, but we figured two wouldn't go astray
Padraig: And I've made vegetable lasagna
Assumpta spins to look at Peter who is cowering at the end of the table
Assumpta: Did you not *tell* them what to make Peter?!
Peter: I didn't know they'd all come up with the same thing!
Assumpta: (to the others) We'd have been better to have a baboon in charge
Peter smiles back sarcastically.
Niamh: Sure it'll be fine. Liam and Donal are bound to bring something to
add a bit of variety
Assumpta: We'll be lucky if they bring anything. Do us a favour Brendan, walk across to Hendleys and see if you can't rustle up
something to spice things up a little
Brendan: For you Assumpta, I would walk 500 miles
Padraig: And I would walk 500 more
Peter: Just to be the man that walked 1000 miles...
Assumpta: Oh pull your head in!
They all cackle
SCENE: Exterior Fitzgeralds. Brendan is walking across to Hendleys. A van
labelled Michael Rawson-Daly Exterminator zooms past towards St
Josephs
SCENE: Exterior Brian Quigley's home. The same van is parked outside.
SCENE: Interior Brian Quigley's Home. Brian is handing over a cheque to the
exterminator
SCENE: Exterior Fitzgeralds. Music and laughter are emanating from inside.
SCENE: Interior Fitzgeralds. Assumpta, Peter, Siobhan, Doc Ryan, Brendan,
Padraig, Niamh, Ambrose, Liam and Donal are all sitting around one
long table covered with food and drink.
Padraig: So Brendan, what's your resolution this year?
Brendan: What's the point of making a resolution when you're perfect
already
Assumpta: But surely the assumption of perfection is, in itself, a fatal
flaw?
Brendan looks questioningly at Assumpta, shrugs and turns back to Padraig
Brendan: What about you old friend?
Padraig: I've resolved to no longer make hollow resolutions and therefore
was unable to make any resolution given that any that I did make
was bound to be hollow
Peter: Say that again, but a lot slower
Donal: My resolution is to no longer be taken advantage of, and I won't
stand for being the butt of everyone's jokes anymore
Padraig: Just most people's jokes hey Donal?!
Dr Ryan: Good luck with that Donal
Assumpta: So where's your Dad Niamh? Well be finished before he gets here
Niamh: He's meeting with Michael Rawson-Daly
Brendan: Who?
Niamh: Michael Rawson-Daly
Donal: What?
Niamh: Michael Rawson-Daly, it's hyphenated
Assumpta: Maybe he took his wife's name
Donal: Oh
Ambrose: The exterminator
Liam: Oh no!
Dr Ryan: What?
Liam: Oh no...thing
The door to Fitzgeralds swings open and Brian strides in
Brian: I have arrived. The beasts have been slayed and the party may now
commence
Donal: Oh no
Donal and Liam drop their heads
SCENE: Exterior Fitzgeralds. Michael Rawson-Daly's Exterminator van zooms
past Fitzgeralds and over the bridge.
SCENE: Various exteriors of evening in Ballykissangel, ending with an
exterior shot of Fitzgeralds
SCENE: Interior Fitzgeralds. A clock on the wall reads 10:30pm.
A cockroach runs across the clock face.
Everyone is sitting around the table. Peter has just sat down with
a pile of note paper, pens and two bowls.
Dr Ryan: What's all this then Peter?
Peter: This is the part of the evening people love to hate, or is that
hate to love? I'm never sure
Niamh: What is it?
Peter: It's time for the painful truth
Siobhan: The what?
Peter: The painful truth
Assumpta: Or the most convincing lie
Peter: No. The truth. Everyone gets a piece of paper which you rip in
half. On one half write your name, on the other half write a
question. We then put all the names in one bowl and questions in
the other. We'll go around the table taking turns to pull out a
name and a question. Who evers name is picked has to answer the
question as truthfully as possible
Niamh: Oh my word!
Assumpta: Come on, how old are we? I haven't done something like that since
school
Peter: And try to keep it decent, we don't want to offend anyone
Assumpta: Oh and who would it be that we'd offend then Peter?
Peter: I have no secrets
Assumpta: Well see
Brendan: Let the games begin!
They each take pen and paper and begin to write. Many a cheeky grin can be
seen. Niamh is thoughtful. She tries to sneak a peek at what Ambrose is
writing but he hurriedly shields it from her view. Dr Ryan is first finished
and puts his two bits of paper in the bowls.
Brendan drops his paper in the bowls and winks in Siobhan's direction. She
puts her paper in the bowls while looking rather proud of her effort.
Assumpta glances up from under her brow at Peter and hurriedly looks away
when he looks in her direction. One by one they each put their paper in the
bowls. A nervous excitement fills the room.
Donal: So who's first?
**The following scenes fade into one another in a continuous time lapse
sequence**
Ambrose reaches into each bowl and takes a piece of paper
Ambrose: Ok, contestant number one...it's Brendan!
A cheer goes up
Siobhan: Something tough please Ambrose
Ambrose: I'll do my best. The question. Alright Brendan, the painful truth,
which of the Ten Commandments have you broken?
Assumpta: Oh please! Surely it'd be quicker to ask which he hasn't broken,
there's bound to be fewer
Brendan: You're making the big assumption with that question that I
actually know what the Ten Commandments are
Donal: A lot of guff about donkeys and neighbours wives I believe
Brendan: Thanks Donal
Everyone looks intently at Brendan awaiting a response. Brendan begins to
feel the pressure
Brendan: Now surely that'd be a better question for Peter. Clean slate hey
Father?
Peter: Oh you'd be suprised
Siobhan: Please, do tell!?
Peter: Unfortunately Siobhan, that was not my question and I'd hate to
break the rules of the game. Brendan?
Peter looks to Brendon with a raised eyebrow which beckons a response
Brendan: Alright then. Ok. Mmm. Well. Let's see. Ten Commandments. I'm
drawing a blank. Someone help me out here
Dr Ryan: Thou shalt not kill
Brendan: Right! Thanks Doc. Never broken that one. Although there's
probably a couple of cockroaches who'd dispute that...if they
could
Both Liam and Donals heads drop again
**Cross fade to Brian taking a name and question from the bowls**
Brian: And the next victim...my little angel Niamh
Niamh: Dad!
Liam: The question
Niamh: Oh please let it be respectable
Brian: Who was your first love?
Niamh: Oh wonderful
Brian: It's your father of course
Padraig: I don't think the question means that sort of love Brian
Siobhan: (flatly) What is love anyway?
Peter: (absently) Something akin to nausea
Everyone stops and looks at Peter. He quickly adds...
Peter: (smiling sheepishly) So I've been told
Assumpta: (while looking at Peter) Niamh?! Story time
Niamh: There's no story. It's boring really. It was Ambrose of course
Ambrose: Well thank you very much
Niamh: No, I didn't mean it like that
Ambrose: No, really, that's fine. Dull as dishwater, I understand
Niamh: Oh don't be a child. From the moment I met Ambrose I knew he was
the one for me. I felt safe
Ambrose: From the moment I met Niamh I was afraid
Niamh: (swiping at Ambrose) Go on with ya
Brendon: There's one about adultery isn't there?
Niamh: Your point?
Brendan: A commandment
Niamh: Oh
Brendan: Since I've never been married, and never had an affair with anyone
who was married, I'm in the clear on that one too!
Padraig: So far so good old friend
**Cross fade to Dr Ryan plucking a name from the bowl**
Dr Ryan: Padraig!
The others cheer and jeer as Dr Ryan takes a question
Dr Ryan: Padraig, if you could be anyone for a day, who would it be?
Siobhan: Oh that's not probing!
Peter: Well that all depends on his answer now doesn't it?!
All eyes turn to Padraig
Padraig: (with head held high and chest puffed out) I'd be the best version
of myself that I could possibly be
There is a stunned silence as everyone looks at Padraig, mouths agape. They
look from one face to another. Simultaneously they all break into laughter
and Brendan slaps Padraig on the back..
Brendan: Ah, you nearly fooled us! Come on, who would you really be?
Padraig joins in the laughter
Padraig: Alright. If I could anyone I guess I'd be Superman for a day.
Apart from his many supernatural talents, and the obvious link to
Lois Lane, I've always wanted to be able to fly!
Assumpta: I thought you already could - I've seen you drive
Siobhan is sitting with a grin from ear to ear. Brendan notices.
Brendan: Siobhan?
Siobhan: I'm just picturing the tights
Niamh & Assumpta: Eeeww!
Brian: Thank you very much for bringing that image to my head Siobhan,
I've just eaten!
Padraig: (offended) Hey!
**Cross fade to Niamh taking a name and question**
Niamh: Liam!
Donal lets out a whahoo as Niamh continues
Niamh: With who, where, and when was your first kiss?
Liam: I'm still waiting
Assumpta: Ah go on with ya!
Liam: I'm serious - I'm still waiting!
Peter: Come on Liam, the painful truth
Liam: Trust me, the truth doesn't get much more painful than that!
They all laugh undecidedly
**Cross fade to Peter taking a question**
Peter: Siobhan, what's the worst pick up line you've ever used or had
used on you?
Peter pulls a face
Assumpta: (cheekily) Brendan?
Brendan: (feigning ignorance of her meaning) What?!
Peter: (with a look of disapproval) Assumpta!
Assumpta: Don't give me that dirty look
Brian: That's right, she doesn't need it, she's got one of her own!
Assumpta pokes her tongue out at Brian
Brian: Very mature
Niamh: The answer!
Siobhan: One day I was out wandering with a couple of girlfriends, back in
my wild youth, when we came across a dashing young man painting a
landscape by a river. One of my friends dared me to go up to him.
So I did.
In unison everyone pulls their chair a little closer to the table
Niamh: And?
Siobhan: (holding back laughter) And, I asked him if he'd like to paint me
nude
A chuckle goes around the table
Niamh: (amazed) What did he say?
Siobhan: He said sure he would, but did I mind if he left his socks on,
otherwise he wouldn't have anywhere to stick his brushes
Siobhan laughs and the others exchange amused looks
Assumpta: Was that the end of it?
Siobhan: We actually went out a couple of times and then he decided to
start stealing from me
Niamh: Oh Siobhan
Siobhan: I should have known. After all, he was an Australian and we all
know Australia was almost entirely populated by criminals
Assumpta: Yeah, but they were Irish criminals
Brendan: Thou shalt not steal. That's one. I guess until Padraig gets his
lawn mower back...and Siobhan her blender...and Peter his shovel
Brian: And my tennis racquet
Donal: And me my wrench
Brendan: Right! Until all those things are returned, I guess the jury's
out on whether I've broken that one or not
**Cross fade to Siobhan with question in hand**
Siobhan: Donal!
What's the biggest secret you have
Donal: But if I tell it wont be a secret
Brendan: Precisely
Donal: I do have one secret
Liam: (hurriedly) Ah that's a ridiculous question. Next one
Padraig: Hang on a moment Liam, we want to hear this one secret
Liam: No we don't
Donal: It's about the cockroaches
Liam: No it's not
Brian: Donal?
Donal: I know where they all came from
Liam: Yeah it's the plague, they came from the heavens
Donal: No they didn't
Liam: (with a warning stare) Donal
Donal: They came from Mr Quigley's shed
Brian: What?
Niamh: Dad!
Brian: (offended) Well I didn't put them there
Peter: Donal?
Donal: The Annual Roach Race is in Dublin next weekend
Ambrose: You're breeding cockroaches?!
Liam: We didn't have to try very hard
Donal: It sorta got out of control
Brian: You're telling me
**Cross fade to Liam taking a question**
Liam: Guard Egan!
Now you can't arrest me for this, it's not my question. I'm just
the messenger. Remember that
Brian: Get on with it
Liam: Alright then - what's the thing or person that makes you most
nervous
Ambrose: Being asked personal questions in front of a group of people on
New Years Eve ranks right up there
Siobhan: Come on now Ambrose, you can do better than that
Ambrose: I guess, to combine the two, I was pretty nervous when I first
told Brian I wanted to marry Niamh. But I gathered all my courage
and walked right up to him, look him in the eye, and said Mr
Quigley, I want to marry your daughter
Siobhan: Good for you Ambrose
Ambrose: He continued to look me straight in the eye and told me to leave
my name and number, and if nothing better came along he'd give me
a call
Assumpta: (with a smirk) Oh the cruelty
Brian: Oh Ambrose that's not true. You came and asked me for my
daughter's hand, so I told you to take the one that's always in my
pocket
Niamh: Dad!
Niamh turns to Ambrose and smiles fondly
**Cross fade to Brendan with question in hand**
Brendan: Assumpta!
Everyone cheers
Assumpta: Yeah yeah. Thank you very much. I shall reveal nothing
Brendan: Name an experience you'd most like to forget
Assumpta: What?
Niamh: (chirpily) Oh that would have to be your seventeenth birthday
Assumpta: (defensively) What!?
Niamh: (matter of fact) You were hammered
Assumpta: (indignant) I was not hammered! Who's answering this question
anyway
Assumpta turns to Peter to find support, only to find him smiling widely.
He merely shrugs.
Niamh: Oh yes you were, you were hammered. It was a party to end all
parties. No parents and Assumpta got completely toasted
Assumpta: Niamh!
Niamh: (not deterred) She was standing on tables reciting poetry, and when
she ran out of poems she started on song lyrics
Everyone is keenly interested
Assumpta: (weakly) I did no such thing
Niamh: We put her to bed, but she got up and started again where she's
left off. We heard every word from The Unforgettable Fire
Assumpta: What are you trying to do? Embarrass me to death?!
Niamh: You spent most of the night complaining that there was too much
blood in your alcohol system. You only stopped when you danced
straight into a wall
Assumpta: I was not hammered
Niamh: Yeah, you were
Assumpta: I only had a couple of drinks
Brendan: Cheap date hey Assumpta!?
Assumpta: Well how can it be an experience I'd most prefer to forget if I
have no recollection of it to start with?!
Niamh: I rest my case
Assumpta: The next day, however, was one I could have lived without
Assumpta smiles in embarrassed defeat
Brendan: If there's a commandment related to drinking in excess, I've
broken that one more times than I care to remember
Assumpta: Ah, but it keeps me in business Brendan
**Cross fade to Padraig who is holding a question**
Padraig: Doc Ryan, what event has irreversibly changed your life?
Assumtpa: (sarcastically) Bring on the easy ones
Doc Ryan: No, actually this is an easy one, for me at least. I guess I was
around about sixteen years old. A good friend of mine was killed
when he was hit by a car.
There is a thick silence
Doc Ryan: Afterwards, what I couldn't come to terms with was not that my
friend had died, but I couldn't come to terms with the fact that
within a split second life could change so much. That life could
hang so precariously by a thread, ready to snap at any moment with
one ill timed move. If he'd been just one minute earlier, or one
minute later that day, he might still be alive now
Siobhan: That must have been awful
Donal: Yeah, it's the kind of thing that makes you question your own
morality
Brian: Ah, no, not really
Peter: Mortality Donal
Assumpta smiles at Peter and Doc Ryan forces a smile
Donal: I don't think I'm ready to die just yet
Niamh: Let's pray none of us are
Donal: I wonder who'd do the urology at my funeral
Dr Ryan: It's a bit late for a urology at your funeral Donal
Liam: Eulogy Donal
Donal: Oh yeah right
Brendan: You're not making it real easy for us to help you out with that
New Years resolution Donal
Assumpta: But it's not the New Year yet
Siobhan: Almost though
Niamh: Do we have time for another question
Assumpta: Cause we do
Assumpta hurriedly reaches for a name and question. Liam gets up rubbing his
stomach and leaves the table
Liam: Too much lasagne
Assumpta: (disappointedly) Brian
Brian: (rubbing his hands together fearlessly) Bring it on
Assumpta: (with a frown of concern) Have you ever seen a ghost?
Brian: Everyday when I look in the mirror. The ghost of the man I once
was and the ghost of the man I could have been
Padraig: Ah seriously now Brian
Brian: Well legend has it that the ghost of BallyK still walks the banks
of the River Angel. But no, I myself have never seen a ghost
Peter: The ghost of BallyK?
Doc Ryan: Have you not heard the story Peter?
Peter shakes his head
Brian: Legend has it that back in the late seventeenth century a pair of
young lovers formed a pact to always be together in life and in
death. He was wanted for theft and smuggling, and as sure as he
was to be caught, he was to be put to death. He sooner wanted to
die a free man than a prisoner. Not wanting to let him go alone,
his lover took his life and then her own, supposedly along the
River Angel - true to their pact. He was unburdened of his crime
and she was damned to walk the river for ever for hers
Niamh: There's a poem isn't there? A horrid children's rhyme?
Doc Ryan: Indeed there is -
From the black tangled heart
Of lovers torn apart
Spawned the ghost of Mary Daisy
Brian: Her lover the thief
Begged for relief
Begged the ghost of Mary Daisy
Brendan: He fled from the chain
She put a pistol to his brain
Did the ghost of Mary Daisy
Siobhan: She stood high 'bove the river
For a moment did shiver
Did the ghost of Mary Daisy
Padraig: She'd not let him go alone
She fell to the stone
Did the ghost of Mary Daisy
Brian: Now she comes by night
She comes by daylight
Does the ghost of Mary Daisy
Suddenly the lights all go out, a door slams, the clash of heads and a
simultaneous moan can be heard. The lights flicker back on to reveal both
Assumpta and Peter rubbing their foreheads. Liam is returning from the
bathroom laughing wickedly
Liam: Got ya!
Assumpta: Real funny
Liam: Have you all seen the time
They all swing around to look at the clock. A floundering cockroach drops to
the ground. It is a quarter to twelve.
Peter: Let's fill our glasses and before the stroke of twelve each toast
the New Year ahead
Assumpta: (under her breath) Convenient
Peter: Assumpta, you want to start?
Assumpta: Fine. Um (raising her glass) May we all live as long as we want
and never want as long as we live
Assumpta smiles proud of her effort. Peter flashes an approving look and
continues
Peter: May we all get to heaven half an hour before the devil knows we're
dead
Assumpta: Oh very uplifting
Niamh: May we all be alive this time twelve months
Assumpta: What is this? A wake?
Padraig: May the flees of a thousand camels infest the underpants of our
enemies
Assumpta: That's more like it
Brian: To our wives and sweethearts. May they never meet
Doc Ryan: Remember the poor, it costs you nothing
Ambrose: May we drink to the thirst which is yet to come
Donal: May your luck be like the capital of Ireland, always Dublin
Brendan: May you slide down the bannister of life with nary a splinter
Liam: There's many a toast, if I could think of it. Damned if I can so
let's drink to it
Siobhan: And a special on as the midnight hour is upon us - may we kiss who
we please and please who we kiss!
There is a chorus of "Here, here" as everyone raises their glasses and
toasts the New Year. Peter and Assumpta exchange a tender look.
Brendan: Who needs a refill?
Siobhan: Yes please
Brendan takes an open bottle of wine and upturns it into Siobhan's glass.
A mere drop comes out
Brendan: I'm out. Ambrose
Brendan indicates the bottle in front of Ambrose. Ambrose picks it up and
shakes it
Ambrose: It's empty too
Brendan: Assumpta?
Assumpta: Yes
Brendan: We're out of wine
Assumpta: So?
Brendan: So...get some more!
Assumpta: There's more in the kitchen
Brendan: So?
Assumpta: So you get some more
Peter: (enthusiastically curt) I'll get some more
Peter hurriedly gets up and goes into the kitchen. He closes the door after
himself
Assumpta: (to Brendan) Are your arms painted on?!
Liam: Only a few more minutes
Niamh: Oh party hats people
Niamh hands out party hats, noise makers and streamer poppers
Siobhan: (calling out) Come on Peter!
Padraig: Perhaps he's fallen asleep
Assumpta: Not for long
Assumpta gets up and goes to the kitchen. Brian raises a bottle of wine from
beside his chair
Brian: Reserve supply
SCENE: Interior kitchen at Fitzgeralds. Peter is sitting at the kitchen
table fiddling with a tea towel. Assumpta bursts through the door
Assumpta: Peter, what on earth...(she stops on seeing him just sitting
there)...What are you doing?
Peter: Oh sorry. I got sidetracked. I, ah, couldn't find the wine
Assumpta: Well it has to be here somewhere. Did you look?
Peter: Yes I looked!
Assumpta comes into the kitchen, closing the door after herself. She
begins to fumble through piles of packets and dishes on benches.
Peter watches then clears his throat
Peter: So what's your New Year's resolution?
Assumpta: (absently) I don't have one
Peter: Oh
Assumpta: I couldn't choose. Too many things need resolving. Anyway, what's
the point. I don't believe in deluding myself
Peter: Fair enough
Assumpta: And I suppose Peter Perfect has written a list?
Peter: Mock if you wish. I'm not perfect...yet
Assumpta: Oh I know that (turning and smiling) I just wasn't sure you knew
it
Peter: Far from perfect
Assumpta: Really? How so?
Peter: Hey? Nothing, it was just a comment
Assumpta: No it wasn't. It was a statement loaded with meaning. I'm
interested to hear about your imperfections. Makes me think you
might be human after all
Peter: Well I'd hate to give you that impression, as that's a complete and
utter fallacy
Assumpta: Uh huh!
Assumpta continues to look for the wine, stacking things as she goes. Peter
sits in silence, twirling his tea towel. He is obviously lost in thought.
Assumpta's back is to him. Finally he breaks the silence
Peter: Assumpta?
She turns to look at him
Peter: I know life can be hard. It's just that sometimes in order to
survive, I need to believe in something
Assumpta: Or conversely, to survive you could believe in nothing at all
Peter: But that's not you?
Assumpta: You know it's not
Peter smiles fondly at Assumpta. She smiles back then turns away.
Suddenly she spins back as if she's going to say something, but stops.
She cocks her head thoughtfully to one side
Assumpta: Have you ever had a premonition Peter?
Peter: I knew you'd ask me that
Assumpta: Seriously
Peter: You mean like seen something that was going to happen before
it did?
Assumpta: Yeah, something like that
Peter: I don't know. I've anticipated things, but I don't know that you'd
call it a premonition. Like knowing who's on the phone before I
pick it up
Assumpta: Mmm
Assumpta turns back and continues to clean up
Peter: Why?
Assumpta: Just wondered
After stacking a couple more platters she again stops and turns to Peter
Assumpta: Do you believe in ghosts?
Peter: The ghost of Mary Daisy?
Assumpta shrugs
Peter: I believe in spirits. Is that the same thing?
Assumpta: You tell me
Peter: Well, the power of suggestion is an amazing thing. If you plant
the notion, see all the right cues, you can believe you saw
anything I guess
Assumpta: That's a very clinical point of view
Peter: What about you then. Do you believe in ghosts?
Assumpta: (dismissively) I thought I saw one once
Peter snaps to full attention
Peter: You did?!
Assumpta isn't looking at Peter
Assumpta: (starting to sound edgy) Mmm, it was while I was in Dublin,
just after I'd finished studying
Assumpta stops and doesn't look like continuing, so Peter gently prods
her
Peter: And...
Assumpta: I'd just been visiting my mother back here. She'd been quite
sick and I was feeling so high and mighty for taking time out of
my busy social schedule to come visit
Assumpta looks up at Peter and laughs nervously
Assumpta: When I left to go back to Dublin she seemed well enough.
The night I got back, I was sitting catching up on lost time
when I heard footsteps in the hallway, really light footsteps.
So I got up to have a look. I don't know why, but it never
crossed my mind to be afraid. And standing there at the end
of the hall, as clear as day, was my mother. She just stood
there, look at me, and smiled. Then the phone rang and she
was gone.
Peter is sitting spell bound
Assumpta: It was Dr Ryan on the phone, telling me my mother was
very bad. So I raced home, but she died before I got there.
Dr Ryan said she died only moments after he'd rung me.
And you know I was so mad at her for not waiting for me to
get there. But really I was angry with myself for leaving in
the first place.
Assumpta pauses and looks up at Peter
Assumpta: I just wanted to be able to say goodbye
Peter: Perhaps you did
Assumpta: Perhaps
Assumpta smiles at Peter through glazed eyes
Peter: Do you miss her alot?
Assumpta: She's my mother
Assumpta brushes a tear from her eyes and quickly changes the subject
Assumpta: We should find this wine and get back to the others. Who
knows what they'll think we're up to
Peter: The mind boggles
Assumpta spins around and opens the fridge. Peter gets up to help
her look. Peter looks in a couple of cupboards then notices that
Assumpta is staring blankly into the fridge. He goes to the fridge
behind Assumpta. She continues to stare, oblivious to the fact that
Peter is now behind her. Suddenly, without looking, she backs up into
him. She turns in suprise and is facing Peter only centimetres away
from him
Assumpta: Sorry
Peter: Sorry
Neither of them move away. Peter looks down at Assumpta then
raises his hand to the side of her face. He brushes the hair from her
forehead and then gently runs his thumb over the smallest of red
marks
Peter: (quietly) You've got a bump from earlier
Assumpta is frozen with tears in her eyes
Assumpta: (shakily) It's fine
Peter moves his hand down the side of Assumpta's face, resting it
on her cheek
Peter: (meaning her Mum but still with his finger gently brushing
her forehead) Does it hurt alot?
Assumpta: (almost inaudible) Yes
Peter raises his other hand and holds Assumpta's face gently. A
tear drops down one of her cheeks. Peter softly wipes it away.
From outside the cheers of Happy New Year rip through the silence.
Assumpta hastily pulls away from Peter.
Assumpta: (flustered) Happy New Year...Father
We should get back to the others
Assumpta rushes to the door an back out into the pub. Peter is left
standing alone. He puts his hand over his heart an breaths in deeply.
SCENE: Fitzgeralds Interior Pub. Same time.
Brendan grabs Assumpta as she emerges from the kitchen and
gives her a bear hug, lifting her off her feet. This is followed by a
hug from Niamh.
Peter returns to join the others. Niamh leaves Assumpta and goes
to Peter, kissing him on the cheek. She then giggles. Brian comes
to Peter and shakes his hand.
Peter: Happy New Year Brian
Padraig: You were in there all that time and you still didn't get any
wine?!
Peter: Happy New Year to you too Padraig
Brendan: Assumpta? How about a poem?
Assumpta: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Maybe next year
Siobhan: I feel a year of change is ahead of us
Assumpta looks at Peter an he smiles at her shyly.
Everyone continues to chatter and drink.
FADE OUT TO:
SCENE: Interior Fitzgeralds. Same evening but much later
Assumpta is clearing up. Peter is leading Brian to the door.
Brian is a little worse for wear. Everyone else has left.
Brian: Thank-you both, you make a good team, that was a lovely
evening. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and pass out
Peter: Will you be alright Brian?
Brian: Fine, fine. To all a good night
Assumpta: Goodnight Brian
Peter: Goodnight
Peter shuts the door after Brian. Peter turns back to Assumpta
Peter: I'll help you clear up
Assumpta: It's ok. I'll do it in the morning
Peter: You did a marvellous job here tonight. I think everyone
had a really good time. Good food, good drink, good
company, and a few home truths revealed
Assumpta: Some better forgotten I think
Peter: Maybe
Assumpta: Anyhow, you conveniently never got to answer your
painful truth question
Assumpta heads to the table with the bowls from behind the bar
and Peter converges from the door
Peter: Is there one left?
Assumpta: Indeed there is
Peter: Bugger
They both sit. Assumpta takes the question and reads it to
herself. She then screws up the paper and throws it back in the
bowl. She's embarrassed.
Assumpta: Oh let's just forget it
Peter: Why? What does it say?
Peter reaches across the table and grabs the paper before
Assumpta can stop him. He reads it and smiles with
embarrassment, putting the paper back in the bowl.
Peter: Yeah well just forget it
They smile embarrassed at each other. They sit for a moment
in companionable silence
Assumpta: You asked me the other night why I hate the church
so much. Truth?
Peter: Uh huh
Assumpta: I don't (she looks at Peter and adds with a grin) I
just hate it a little. Some parts more than others
Peter grins back
Peter: Thank-you
SCENE: Exterior Fitzgeralds. Same night/day. Light is breaking
through the dark. The door of Fitzgeralds opens and
Peter and Assumpta emerge from the pub
Assumpta: Wow, what time is it?
Peter: Very late, or very early
They walk out further onto the street and wander a distance
towards the bridge. They stand together for a moment.
Assumpta yawns
Assumpta: I'm gunna get some sleep.
They look at each other for a moment
Assumpta: See you later
She heads off back towards the door
Peter: (with his head titled to one side) Wait
Assumpta: (stopping) What?
Peter: Can't you feel it?
Assumpta: Feel what?
Peter: It's amazing
Assumpta: What?
Peter: The magic. In the air
Assumpta: Huh?
Assumpta starts to leave, rolling her eyes and shaking her
head.
Assumpta: You're crazy!
Peter: No wait. Just stand still for a minute
Assumpta stops. Everything is quiet except for the gentle
rustle of the trees and the faint sound of the river. Peter
looks to Assumpta who is concentrating and absorbing the
peace. She looks to Peter as he smiles at her. Unwittingly
she smiles back
Peter: (triumphantly) See. Amazing
Assumpta: (walking away but still smiling) Yeah, whatever
Assumpta goes back to the pub, but stops short of the door.
She turns back to Peter
Assumpta: Happy New Year Peter
Peter: Happy New Year Assumpta
Assumpta goes into the pub smiling broadly. Peter remains
in the middle of the street smiling
FADE OUT
ROLL CLOSING CREDITS
'Twas the night before New Year
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a cockroach?
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