Top Ten List Archive

Top Ten Ways to Prepare for BtVS Episodes
By: Sharon Ruth (LStew10263@aol.com)
Top Ten Lines Xander Wants to Hear From Buffy and Never Will
By: Lena Kotelr (Question3@webtv.net)
    10. Angel who?
    9. Let's go to the Bronze tonight. Just you and me.
    8. I've given up slaying for you Xander.
    7. Forget the Apocolypse! Think about me!
    6. Let's go somewhere a littel more private Xander.
    5. How can Cordellia resist you?!
    4. Your so good looking!
    3. I love you Xander.
    2. Kiss me Xander.
    1. Xander I love you and only you.

Top Ten Things Buffy Will Never Use As a Battle Cry
By: Michael Cole (linkun@feist.com)
    10. Wu ha we got you all in check!
    9. I am The slayer hear me roar!
    8. Hey Mr. Tallyman tally me banana!
    7. Well screw you too!
    6. What is up with Chris Rock?
    5. We're off to see the wizard...
    4. You're on Candid Camera!
    3. What is a 3 letter word for Antidisastablishmentarianism?
    2. I'll get you and your little dog too!
    1. You have 5 seconds before I open a serious can of whoop-ass... what do you do? what do you do?

Top Ten Ways To Know You're Addicted to BtVS
By: Nicole (The Insane One) (WillowGrl9@aol.com)
    10. You suddenly own a new SuperSoaker and don't complain about having to go to Sunday mass, because you're muttering something about supplies.
    9. That box of stakes under your bed....behind the book shelve......in your sock....
    8. You can quote them better than you can quote yourself!
    7. You accidently call your computer teacher Ms. Caledar!
    6. You accidently call your best guy friend Xander.
    5. You suddently decided to buy that leather jacket with the many pockets.....
    4. The new girl in school constanly arouses suspsion.
    3. Look under your name in the library references. If you see more than six.
    books on the paranormal.....
    2. Buffyisims sprout from your mouth.
    1. The Bronze _is_ and always will be uour hangout! RAZORBACKS ALL THE WAY!!!! Go Sunnydale!!

Top Ten Things That Would Ruin the Show
By: Sarah Maria Gomez
    10. If Willow became like Cordelia.
    9. If Giles dies.
    8. If Cordelia becomes Buffy's friend.
    7. If Xander got together with Buffy.
    6. If Buffy killed Xander.
    5. If Xander becomes serious.
    4. If Buffy turned into a vampire.
    3. If Buffy died.
    2. If Angel got together with Cordelia.
    1. If Buffy killed Angel.

Top Ten Things You Know Angel Has But We Will Never See
By: Janel Elfmage (JKing2511@aol.com)
    10. Suspenders (hey, they used to be kewl).
    9. A fish (you have to have some company every other century or so).
    8. A familt photo album- before he turned vamp.
    7. The world's largest collection of toothpicks.
    6. A kimono.
    5. A bad hair day.
    4. Sunglasses.
    3. A shirt that isn't white (especially a green-checkered one).
    2. A closet full of leather jackets.
    1. A special elongated toothbrush, for those easy to reach fangs.

Top Ten BtVS PickUp Lines
By: The Avatar (NjxII@aol.com)
    10. "Which gives a sense of more impending doom, me or that book?"
    9. "Is that a stake in your pocket or are you just happy to se me?"
    8. "Let's hack together."
    7. "Wanna see my hairy back?"
    6. "You think the vampires are good at the neckline. . . ."
    5. "Maybe I like following you around."
    4. "I'm less sadistic than a she-mantis."
    3. "Lets find a timne when the Watcher isn't watching."
    2. "Hey, baby, my middle name's 'Leville'."
    1. And the #1 BtVS pickup line is..."Slay me, baby."

Top Ten Things Xander Would Never Do
By: Cera (aka Blue Star (* ) (shcrowley@worldnet.att.net)
    10. Wear a suit.
    9. Actually cook dinner in thier household.
    8. Enjoy math.
    7. Be absolutely serious in a crisis.
    6. Be absolutely serious anytime.
    5. Stop skateboarding.
    4. Never stop thinking of Willow as just a friend.
    3. Get through a whole Buffy daydream without drooling.
    2. Stop resenting Angel.
    1. Kiss Buffy like she's never been kissed before.

Top Ten Ways You Know You're Really, Really Addicted To and Obsessed With BtVS
By: Keri (mpike@mail.froggernet.com)
    10. You're more worried about what's going to happen on the show than what's happening in your life.
    9. You feel lost without your weekly Buffy fix.
    8. You felt a sense of deep loss when you discovered that they won't be showing Buffy on Sundays anymore.
    7. Your BWS is so bad that you have to watch your taped episodes daily just to get through the day.
    6. You've gone fanfic- crazy, scouring the web for every little scrap of fanfic you can find.
    5. You don't allow ANYTHING to distract you from the TV when Buffy's on.
    4. You've tried desperately to convert everyone from your best friend to your dog to your supermarket clerk into a fan.
    3. More than half of the bookmarked sites on your browser are Buffy-related.
    2. You find yourself uncontrollably and unexpectedly spouting quotes from the show.
    1. None of the above symptoms worry you.

Top Ten Xander Lines
By: Lindsay
    10. "Hey its cool Buffy a super hero."
    9. "Were right behind you only futher back."
    8. "I laff in the face of danger then i hide until it goes away."
    7. "I dont like vampires i'm going to takt a stand and say there no goo."
    6. "Hey you for got your stake?."
    5. "The only thing i can think of is that your bulding a really small fence."
    4. "Shot me, Mount me, Stuff me."
    3. "I've been wating for you to jump mt bones."
    2. "Can I have you... I mean help you."
    1. "So buffy howed the slaying go last night.... I mean howed the laying go last night, no i didnt mean that eather."

Top Ten Reasons For Watching BtVS
By: Eric Wayne Dearden (ewd33@hotmail.com)
    10. Kickin' music from bands you've never heard of.
    9. It's better than watching ROAR.
    8. Xander's clumsy yet hysterical actions.
    7. Lotsa tank tops.
    6. Just to spite those who hate BtVS.
    5. It's from the same station that brings you Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff.
    4. You don't need to pay $3.95 to see a good fight scene.
    3. Three words: Sarah Michelle Gellar.
    2. It's just as good as Monday Night Football.
    1. Bill Clinton likes it!

Top Ten Things That Would Make The Show Better
By: Eric Cruz
    10. Willow step up to Cordelia.
    9. Willow and Cordelia fight.
    8. If Pike showed up one time without anyone knowing!
    7. Cordelia gets a zit!
    6. Xander and Cordelia Dating!
    5. Willow gets a boyfriend someone human!
    4. Xander suprisingly kisses Buffy!
    3. Buffy slaps Xander!!
    2. Buffy's on her summer vacation but ends up fighting evil at the end.
    1. When it comes to buffy's summer vacation, it means......Buffy in a bikinni!!!

Top Ten Things the Master Eats for Breakfast
By: turtle88 (the vampire turtle) (turtle88@hotmail.com)
    10. Small animals (raw)
    9. Count Chocula cereal
    8. Blood (duhhh...)
    7. Vampire Slayers
    6. Egg McMuffin (don't ask)
    5. Anyone who has every appeared on the Must-See-TV line up (it's a ratings thing...)
    4. Anything but garlic
    3. Any one found near the Bronze on a dark and stormy night
    2. Non-famous guest stars
    1. Anything he wants

Top Ten Ways To Know You're Really Obsessed With BtVs (I Mean Really, Really, Really Obsessed)
By: Jade Star (kvweller@charleston.net)
    10. During math your mind wounders off into the Buffyverse, and you teacher calls and you and you answer with "Buffy?"
    9. You have to have your weekly fix of Buffy or you will go crazy.
    8. You carry a cross, a stake, and some holy water with you... just in case.
    7. You've been to every BtVS web page at least twice. (Hell you have some of the pages memorized)
    6. You accidently called your school librian Giles.
    5. You accidently called your boyfriend Angel (for you guys you call you girlfriend Buffy)
    4. You have to watch at least one episode of Buffy a day just to make it though without going completely loco.
    3. You've attempted to convert everyone from the school princple to the mail man to your best friend to some guy walking down the street into Buffy fans.
    2. You start useing quotes from the show in your everyday life.
    1. When everything you just read doesn't bother you... but it has your friends and family VERY worried about your hold on reality.

Add a Top Ten List to this archive here!



[ The Buffy Humor Page | Buffy Top Ten Page ]