Covenant - #5
Bargains Kept
by Otterlady (11/06/1999)
The doctors had spoken to Hutch at length, trying to prepare him for all the possibilities. Listing all the things that might result from the trauma his partner's body had been through. From best case to worst case scenario, they had outlined every one.
Best case included complete recovery, a remote possibility
according to them. That in a matter of
months he would be back on the street, driving his beloved Torino and
tormenting his partner. <please, God>
The more likely ones included some disability. Loss of stamina, some weakening of the damaged muscles and organs blasted apart and held together with surgical thread and hope. Some things that would improve with therapy, some that wouldn't. But he could face those. They could face those together. If they were given the chance.
Worse case included paralysis of varying magnitudes or even brain damage from lack of oxygen and the entire trauma he'd been through. <please God, no> Those would be harder. He could face those as long as his friend didn't leave him. But he wasn't so sure if Starsky would want to stay.
Now he waited, sitting again beside the still body. Sleeping now, no longer in that nether world of coma. The doctors had told him that Starsky's awakening was a good sign in itself. But not to take it as a sign of recovery. There was still the very real threat that his body would give up.
He sat listening to his partner breath. It was the most soothing sound in the world. At least to him. Not that many days ago, he had been sure he would never hear that sound again.
Yesterday the doctor decided that it was time for Starsky to try to breathe on his own without the help of the ventilator. It was three weeks since the shooting and they were slowly weaning him from all the mechanical things that had kept him alive. Every step forward a battle won, but even this little victory had its problems. When Starsky first went off the ventilator, he had almost passed out from the lack of air until his lungs finally remembered how to work on their own. Hutch knew that if he hadn't have been there, holding his partner's hand, that the panic would have killed him. All he could do for Starsky right now was lend him his strength. He had promised.
Everyday he was there, to hold a hand, to whisper words of encouragement, to do whatever his partner needed him to do. The department had agreed to his indefinite leave of absence. Actually, Hutch had left them with little choice. If Dobey hadn't have gone to the mat for him on the leave, Hutch would have quit. In light of the publicity that Starsky's shooting and the resulting collapse of Gunther's empire had created, any inter-departmental scandal at this point would have been very embarrassing for all concerned.
Hutch knew that the next months were going to be tough. He was prepared for that. His partner would need him and he would be there every step of the way. Everyday brought a tiny improvement, most only discernable by him, but that was okay. There had been setbacks, moments of utter fear but they were getting fewer as Starsky healed. Together, they would make it.
Up to yesterday, when they had taken the tubes out of his throat, Starsky hadn't been able to speak. Hutch missed the sound of his friend's voice, his laugh, the way he'd tease him then crack one of his big grins. How he missed those grins. Even now, Starsky's voice was no more than a thin whisper; vocal cords strained by the ventilator and the long period of disuse. The first tiny whisper had sounded like music to Hutch. After regaining the use of his lungs and after the coughing fit had eased, his partner had turned to him and simply whispered, "Hutch." After so many days of believing that he'd never hear his name spoken by his friend again, he had almost broken down. All he could do was hold onto the hand he held in both of his and smile; holding back the tears that he knew would upset Starsky.
A change in the rhythm of breathing alerted him that his friend was struggling towards wakefulness. Putting down the magazine he'd been pretending to read, Hutch turned towards the bed. He watched in anticipation as Starsky's eyes moved, fluttering with the effort of coming up from wherever it was that he went in his drug-laden sleep. Watched as the first realizations of pain crossed his face and the uncomfortable movements of a body not used to movement. Smiled when those blue eyes finally opened and searched for him.
"Hey, buddy. I'm right here." Hutch took the hand that reached out for him.
"Hutch." Starsky smiled at his friend as he whispered his name. He looked around the room, taking in the monitors still attached to him, the IV stand with the bottles and bottles of liquids dripping into his arm. At the waning evening sunlight glowing behind the closed blinds. Then finally back to Hutch leaning over him, smiling at him. Seeing the weariness in that familiar face, warring with the happiness there.
He tried again, his voice, a little stronger, but still barely above a whisper. "Hutch, you look like you could use some sleep." Hutch could tell that even that little effort tired him.
"Yeah, partner. Been waiting for you to wake up long enough for me to tell you good-night." Hutch teased gently, smoothing the curls back off Starsky's forehead. He thought to himself that he'd have to see if one of the nurses would help him cut that dark hair before it got any longer.
"Oh. How long you've been here?" Starsky's speech was a bit slurred from the combination of drugs and weariness.
"Not all that long. I'm about ready to go home, just waiting for you." There was no time too long to wait for his friend to come back to him.
"You shouldn't stay here so much." Said in a slow, sad voice. "You don't need to sit with me all day. Go home. Get some sleep." Starsky was slowly drifting off again. "Get some sleep, good-night Hutch." A slight squeeze of the hand holding his and his friend slipped back into sleep.
Hutch stood for a few more minutes, lightly stroking his partner's forehead. He thought that it was so like Starsky to worry about him when he was the one lying in the hospital bed. He knew how blessed he was to have this person for his friend, his partner.
"I'll stay with you forever if that's what it takes, my friend." He whispered to the sleeping form. "I made a bargain, with you and with God. And I mean to keep this one, no matter what. I promise you that." He leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss on that forehead. "Even if it takes the rest of my life. A bargain's a bargain."
His only answer was the smile on his sleeping partner's face as Hutch quietly went out of the room. To go home and sleep as his friend had asked. But only so he would have the strength to keep his side of the deal. A bargain worth keeping.